Introduction

A review of history makes it as clear as daylight that the noble prophets always reorganized human society. They called humankind toward a foundational ideal, and those who responded to that call were bound together in a new bond of unity. The human groups that had been divided into various parties, tribes and clans, who had thirsted for one another’s blood and been enemies of one another’s honor, became, as a result of this call, brothers to one another and protectors of one another’s honor. This unity brought forth a new power, and this call created the most important history in the world and became the means for shaping the finest civilization. The Qur’an has pointed toward this profound truth in its own inimitable style:

واذكروا نعمة الله عليكم اذ كنتم اعداء فالَّف بيت قلوبكم فاصبحتم بنعمته اخوانا وَّ كنتم على شفاء حفرة من النار فانقذكم منها –

“Remember Allah’s blessing upon you: when you were bitter enemies of one another, He joined your hearts together, and by His grace and mercy you became brothers. Indeed, you were standing on the brink of a pit of Fire; then He rescued you from it (and saved you from destruction).” Aal Imran: 103

The noble prophets called humankind, saying:

واعتصموا بحبل الله جميعا ولا تفرقوا –

“Hold fast, all together, to Allah’s rope (unite), and do not become divided from one another.”

This unity of Islam is not merely a legal, outward unity; rather, it is a unity of hearts. Islam does not regard legal unity alone as unity; rather, it seeks to establish the foundation of this outward unity in people’s hearts. Its true sources are unity of belief and ideology, unity of hopes and aspirations, and unity of resolve and heartfelt emotion. Just as it binds everyone together outwardly in one bond of unity, inwardly it also joins them in a relationship of ‘ukhuwat,’ or brotherhood. It is indeed true that genuine unity is formed only when both these qualities fully manifest themselves. Artificial unity never lasts; hearts filled with hatred and enmity can never be joined. Falsehood can never create unity. Unity based on selfish interests remains only a source of division and disunity. Nor can merely legal bonds establish the basis of any genuine union or friendship. That is why Islam has founded unity upon faith, love and self-sacrifice. A relationship built upon this foundation becomes such a firmly fortified wall that even great storms, by colliding with it, can only shatter their own heads; they cannot harm it in any way.

Moreover, in the social organization formed upon this foundation, a spirit of cooperation and support develops instead of conflict and confrontation. There, each person becomes a helper, patron and supporter of the other. A person who is falling is not allowed to fall; rather, countless hands extend to help him. One who has lagged behind is not abandoned; rather, he is helped in every way and moved forward. This society makes a person capable of confronting his problems and undertakes to hold on to one who is falling.

It is an essential duty of the workers of the Islamic movement to understand very well the foundations upon which Islam builds its social relationships and to devote their own strength and ability to achieving that goal.

Our respected friend and beloved brother Khurram Jah Murad wrote this book to fulfill this fundamental need of the workers of the Islamic movement. Among the very small number of young people in this country who, despite receiving Western education, made special efforts to acquire religious knowledge and achieved considerable distinction in this regard, Mr. Khurram is one of them. Indeed, just as a flower may be recognized by its fragrance, this work of his will also help one understand his thought and outlook. In reality, the subject under discussion has three aspects:

First: What fundamental qualities does Islam wish to see manifested in individual character in order to develop and maintain a social and comprehensive way of life?

Second: What things destroy and weaken these foundations, so that they may be avoided?

Third: What qualities strengthen and improve these foundations, so that they may be adopted?

The respected author has answered these three questions in great detail. I believe that if the workers of the Islamic movement read these answers attentively and strive to adopt them, they will be able to make their entire lives blossom with the flowers of faith, love and self-sacrifice—flowers that cause the garden of life to bloom.

The workers must keep one more matter in mind in order to benefit from this booklet. A person cannot acquire everything overnight. Therefore, our duty is to understand the entire plan for character building, firmly establish each point in our minds, then try to adopt and follow it, and in this way accept the first, then the second, then the third.

It is reported about Hazrat Abdullah ibn Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) that he studied Surah al-Baqarah over seven or eight years. When he was asked for an explanation, he said, ‘I study one thing, adopt it, and then move forward.’ In reality, character building requires precisely this kind of gradual, continuous and tireless effort. Mere study is not sufficient for it. This objective can be attained only through continual striving and effort. It must also be remembered very well that this is a path of uphill climbs and descents. The success of this path lies in ceaseless effort with courage and confidence. Failure will come on this path, but it must be confronted firmly. Problems will call for battle, but they must be overcome. Crises will create obstacles, but they must be defeated. These are unavoidable stages of this path. Will we become frightened by these things or turn back from the path toward our goal?

—Professor Khurshid Ahmad.

First: The Foundation of Mutual Relations: Their Importance and Necessity

1. The Foundation and Status of Relationships

The Islamic movement is a call to a comprehensive and total revolution. Therefore, properly connecting the workers of this revolutionary movement with all people in general, and with one another in particular, upon the correct foundation is among its foremost fundamental duties. To fulfill this duty, Islam has shed light on every aspect of this relationship and defined everything from its foundations to its smallest details.

To describe mutual relations, the Qur’an uses an extremely concise yet appealing style of expression. It says:

انما المؤمنون اخواة –

“The believers are brothers to one another.” —Al-Hujurat: 10

Apparently, this is merely a short phrase consisting of three words. In reality, however, this phrase is sufficient to express the foundation of mutual relations, their ideological status, and their importance and depth for the Islamic movement. In this respect, it could be given the status of the charter of the Islamic movement.

This proves that the relationship among people in the Islamic movement is an ideological relationship. Unity of goals and objectives establishes its foundation, while unity of faith in the same ideal gives it its color and form. Secondly, because it is an ideological relationship, it is not merely a dry or fragile relationship. Rather, the stability, depth and profound love combined within it can be expressed only through the example of the mutual relationship between two brothers. Such a relationship is called ukhuwat, or brotherhood. Indeed, what better word than brotherhood (ukhuwat) could echo the stability, breadth and emotion that Islam instills within an ideological relationship?

2. Brotherhood Is an Inevitable Demand of Faith

In Islamic civilization, the concept of faith is not merely that one acknowledges a few supernatural truths and considers the matter finished. Rather, it is a conviction based on a broader conception—one that envelops a person’s heart and mind and circulates through his veins like blood. It is a feeling that stirs and agitates his breast. It is a force of thought that transforms the structure of his mind and intellect. Above all, it is the executive power of a realistic system that brings all his limbs under its control and initiates a revolution throughout his individual and collective life. How can human relationships remain free from the grip of a faith so broadly influential? Especially when it is an undeniable truth that a person’s entire life—except for an insignificant part—is closely intertwined with his relationships with others. Indeed, this is why faith instructs its followers to establish relationships with all people in general and with one another in particular. Moreover, in order to establish those relationships upon justice (adl) and good conduct (ihsan), it gives form to a comprehensive way of life and civilization. On the other hand, it turns the foundations of rights and dignity into a complete system of rules so that everyone may observe them in his own place. Thus, just as the fingers of one hand join with the fingers of the other hand, or one brother joins with another, those connected by faith should likewise be joined to one another. This is an inevitable demand of the ideological status of faith. Such faith is demanded by human nature, and the conscience bears witness to this relationship. Those who reject every color and are dyed only in Allah’s color, abandon every obedience and accept obedience only to Allah, separate themselves from all falsehood and attach themselves only to truth, and become sincere and single-minded for Allah—if even they do not become connected to one another and establish bonds of love, then who will? What greater force than singleness of purpose can connect one person to another? Every stage of this singleness and of the true path continues to transform this relationship into a living reality. A person who dedicates himself for the sake of truth naturally needs the love, sympathy, consolation and support of every traveler on this path. Therefore, if after coming upon this path he does not receive even this blessing, nothing can make up for so great a deficiency.

3. Brotherhood Is Essential for a Worldwide Islamic Revolution

The principal objective of faith in this world—namely, creating a worldwide Islamic revolution and establishing Islamic civilization—in itself demands a firm, stable and brotherly relationship. Achieving this objective is no easy task. It is equivalent to ‘approaching the presence of love.’ At every step, storms of danger arise and floods of trials arrive. Clearly, the friendship of every individual is immensely valuable for undertaking such a grave responsibility. Its absence cannot be made up in any other way. Especially since the lack of supporters and helpers on this path is a natural reality, such a void cannot be tolerated even for a moment.

Moreover, no comprehensive revolution can take place without an organized and powerful jamaat. A united and powerful jamaat comes into being precisely when the individuals within it become closely connected with one another. For this purpose, work should be organized in such a way that it naturally becomes a ‘wall of lead’ (بنيان مرصوص); no division or disunity will find a way within it. In reality, only such a cohesive effort can ensure success.

In Surah Aal Imran, Allah the Exalted instructed the leaders of a newly established Islamic state to develop precisely such a relationship:

يايها الذين امنوا اصبروا وصابروا ورابطوا واتقوا الله لعلكم تفلحون –

“O you who believe! Be patient, persevere in steadfastness, and remain steadfast in readiness. Fear Allah, so that you may be able to attain your objective.” (Aal Imran: 200)

Toward the end of Surah al-Anfal, the mutual relationship of Muslims is presented as an essential condition for completing the Islamic revolution. It is stated that those who believe in this faith, sacrifice everything for it, and dedicate their wealth and lives to this movement will certainly have relationships of friendship and love with one another. The word ‘friendship’ is used here for this relationship.

ان الذين امنوا وهاجروا وجاهدوا باموالهم وانفسهم فى سبيل الله والذين اواو ونصروا اولـــئك بعضهم اولــياء بعضٍ –

“Those who believe, migrate, and strive in Allah’s path with their lives and wealth, and those who give them shelter and help— they are friends of one another.” (Al-Anfal: 72)

Moving a little further from this point, and indicating the organizational unity of the disbelievers and the strength of their group, it is stated that if Muslims do not establish such bonds of friendship, then the aspiration for a worldwide Islamic revolution founded upon justice, ihsan and God-consciousness will never take firm root in the real world. As a result, Allah’s world will become filled with disorder and corruption. For without these friendly relations, it is not possible for Muslims to confront the forces opposed to the revolution.

والذين كفروا بعضهم اولـــياء بعضٍ – الا تفعلوه تكن فتنة فى الارض وفساد كبير –

“Those who disbelieve are friends and allies of one another. If you, O believers, do not support one another, there will be great turmoil and grave disorder in the land.” (Al-Anfal: 73)

It is clear that such striving and effort to establish Islamic civilization and create an Islamic revolution is the true standard for determining the truth or falsehood of faith.

والذين امنوا وهاجروا وجاهدوا فى سبيل الله والذين اَوَاوْ ونصروا اولـــئك هم المؤمنون حقاً –

“Those who believe, leave their homes, and strive in Allah’s path, and those who give them shelter and support—they are the true believers.” (Al-Anfal: 74)

A little earlier, Allah the Exalted gave the Noble Prophet (peace be upon him) the glad tidings, together with the promise of His help against the opponents, concerning the community of believers: He had closely joined their hearts together, and they were the key to the success of the Islamic revolution.

هو الذى ايدك بنصره وبالمؤمنين – والّف بين قلوبهم-

“It is He who supported you with His help and with the believers, and joined the hearts of the believers together.” (Al-Anfal: 62–63)

4. The Demands of Brotherhood: Its Importance and Results

In reality, the mutual relationship among those who call to the Islamic revolution is one of brotherhood (ukhuwat), friendship, mercy and love. But the word ‘brotherhood’ is so broad in meaning that it encompasses all the other qualities within itself. That is, just as two biological brothers unite and no difference of opinion, quarrel, conflict, division or dispute between them is encouraged, the workers of the Islamic movement should likewise be closely connected with one another. Just as two brothers are ready to sacrifice everything for one another, wish one another well, engage in help and cooperation, and become one another’s helpers and supporters, so a relationship of intense love and vital awareness develops among the travelers on the path of truth—those who devote their entire lives for the sake of the religion of Islam. In short, the more deeply attached a person is to the Islamic revolution, the deeper a relationship he will develop with his fellow brother. Likewise, the more beloved this objective is to him, the more beloved this relationship will be to him. For this relationship is for Allah alone and belongs to those who struggle in Allah’s path. Therefore, if a person who is a worker and caller to the Islamic revolution has a relationship with his fellow brother like that of strangers merely passing one another on the road, he should reflect upon himself and consider what path he is following. Or if his relationship with his companions and fellow workers is as fleeting as dust shaken from the body, he must consider how much value the objective he claims to love truly holds in his heart.

For this relationship of brotherhood, the Noble Prophet (peace be upon him) used a pure, comprehensive and beautiful term such asحب الله (love for Allah). ‘Love’ itself is a tremendously captivating and melodious term. Together with the expressions ‘in Allah’s path’ and ‘for Allah’s sake,’ it has raised the term from all vulgarity and impurity to the highest level of nobility. In this way, the term gives both the heart and the intellect an accurate standard by which every believer can examine his relationships.

There is an inseparable relationship between faith in Allah and love in His path. Wherever one of these exists, the other will also be found. If one is absent, the other becomes suspect. Therefore, the Noble Prophet (peace be upon him) said:لا تؤمنوا حتى تحابوا

“You will not be believers until you love one another.” (Muslim: Abu Hurayra)

Thereafter, establishing the entire relationship upon this foundation, and restricting love and hostility to Allah alone, has been described as an essential condition for the perfection of faith:

من احب لله وابغض لله واعطى لله ومنع لله فقد استكمل الايمان –

“Whoever loves only for Allah, shows hostility for Allah, gives for Allah, and withholds for Allah has perfected his faith.”

Friendship and hostility are indeed extremely influential in human life. Therefore, making both of these things exclusively for Allah as an essential condition for the perfection of faith is entirely natural and reasonable. Faith has many branches, and each branch is important in its own place. In view of how essential love for Allah is for establishing a cohesive force in power, the Noble Prophet (peace be upon him) called it the best of all deeds. Hazrat Abu Dharr (may Allah be pleased with him) relates:

خرج علينا رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم فقال أتد رون اىُّ الاعمال احب الى الله تعالى قال قائـــل الصلوة والزكوة وقال قائـــل الجهاد قال النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم ان احب الاعمال الى الله تعالى الحب لله والبغض لله –

“Once the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) came to us. He asked: Do you know which deed is most beloved to Allah the Exalted? Someone said prayer and zakat. Someone said jihad. The Noble Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: Love solely for Allah and hostility solely for Allah are the deeds most beloved to Allah among all deeds.” (Ahmad, Abu Dawud, Abu Dharr)

On another occasion, Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) asked Hazrat Abu Dharr (may Allah be pleased with him):

يا اباذرٍّ اىُّ عرى الايمان اوثق قال الله ورسوله اعلم قال

الموالاة فى الله والحب لله وابغض لله ‘O Abu Dharr! Which deed of faith is the firmest? He replied, “Allah and His Messenger know best.” The Noble Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “It is friendship in Allah’s path, and love and hostility for His sake.”’ (Bayhaqi—Ibn Abbas)

The term mentioned in the hadithعرى refers to a rope and also to the ring or handle of utensils. It also refers to a tree whose leaves do not fall even in winter.عرى In other words, love in Allah’s path is such a strong foundation that, relying upon it, a person can confidently fulfill the demands of faith. Such a foundation neither develops cracks nor collapses.

In short, faith demands a person’s entire life. That is, every moment of life—as long as breath continues to enter and leave the body—should be spent according to the demands of faith. But until all of a believer’s relationships become relationships of love for Allah, such a broad beginning of righteous deeds cannot take place in life. This is because relationships constitute a major part of human life. They inevitably influence his life and, in a sense, become the standard of his friendship and religion. Therefore, Allah the Exalted instructed Muslims to connect themselves with those whose lives had firmly taken root in the remembrance of God. And so that they would remain guided on the true path and would not mislead themselves by becoming trapped in the maze of worldly splendor and adornment, He used the word ‘sabr’:

واصبر نفسك مع الذين يدعون ربهم بالغدوت والعشى يريدون وجهه ولا تعد عيناك عنهم تريد زينة الحيوة الدنيا –

‘Keep yourself restrained in the company of those who call upon their Lord morning and evening, seeking His pleasure, and do not let your eyes turn away from them in desire for the adornment of worldly life.’ —(Surah al-Kahf)

On the other hand, the Noble Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) warned people to choose their friends very thoughtfully. For:

المرء على دين خليله فلينظر احدكم من يخالل – (احمد- ترمذى – ابو داود –بيهقى- ابو هريرة)

‘A person follows the religion of his intimate friend. Therefore, let each of you carefully consider whom he takes as a friend.’ (From Abu Hurayra, may Allah be pleased with him)

The word mentioned in the Hadith, خليلis derived from خلت. It means such love and sincerity as become deeply rooted in the heart. The Hadith gives a beautiful example of the love and companionship of good and evil people. It says: companionship with a good person is like sitting with a perfume seller; even if one does not obtain any perfume, its fragrance will refresh the heart and mind. Likewise, even if one does not obtain any perfume, its fragrance will refresh the heart and mind. Association with an evil person, however, is like being in an ironsmith’s shop; even if one’s clothes do not burn, its soot and smoke will certainly spoil one’s temper.

Upon reaching a certain level of faith, a person himself experiences a special kind of joy and sweetness in faith and in fulfilling its practical demands. It is because of this feeling of joy that the impulse toward righteous deeds awakens within a person. The Noble Messenger (peace be upon him) referred to this very thing as حلاوت الايمان. He mentioned three conditions for it. One of them is this:

ان يحب المرء لا يحبه الا لله –

“He will love another person, and his love will be for no one except Allah.” (Bukhari, Muslim)

If a slave or servant can attain the love of his master and lord, what greater possession could he receive in exchange for it? Indeed, this love is a mi‘raj for the believer. The Noble Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “Those who establish bonds of friendship with one another for the sake of Allah are worthy of this great blessing.” Thus Hazrat Mu‘adh ibn Jabal (may Allah be pleased with him) said:

سمعت رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم يقول قال الله تعالى وجبت محبتى للمتحابين فى المسجالسين فى المتزاورين فى والمتباذلين فى-

“I heard the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) say that Allah the Exalted said: ‘My love is assured for those who love one another for My sake, sit together for My sake, visit one another for My sake, and spend money on one another for My sake.’” — (Malik)

5. The Benefits of Brotherhood in the Hereafter

The results of loving for Allah’s sake in worldly life are certainly found here; but in the Hereafter, when every righteous deed will be considered valuable and even charity consisting of a single date and a good word will be deemed a gain for a person, this relationship will elevate a believer to a very high rank. Indeed, in view of all that we know about the importance of this relationship for the Islamic movement, this is entirely natural and self-evident.

On that day, no one will have any awareness of anyone else. People will flee far away, abandoning their parents, brothers, sisters, wives, sons and daughters—everything. To save themselves from Hell, they will even be ready to offer all of them in ransom. On that day, the entire mystery of friendship will be revealed, and the friend whom a person had loved and deeply cherished in worldly life will become an enemy there. But the friendship of those who truly feared Allah will remain. For on that day, in that moment of crisis, it will be known with certainty what useful thing those friends gave one another in worldly life, and its importance will be properly felt:

الا خلاء يومئذ بعضهم لبعض عدو الا المتقين ياعباد لا خوف عليكم اليوم ولا انتم تحزنون –

“Friends will become enemies of one another on that day, except the God-fearing. O My servants! There will be no fear for you today, nor will you grieve.” — (Surah al-Zukhruf)

Thus, a person’s fate will be joined with that of those with whom he has formed a bond of love. Even if two people who love one another for Allah’s sake are one in the East and the other in the West, the Lord of the worlds, Allah the Exalted, will bring them together on the Day of Resurrection and say, “This is the person whom you loved for My sake.” The Hadith states:

1) المرء مع من احبَّ

2) لو ان عبد ين تحابَّا فى الله عزَّ وجلَّ واحد فى المشرق واخر ى المغرب لجمع الله بينهما يوم القيامة يقول هذا الذى كنت تحبه فىَّ

1. “A person’s fate will be joined with the one whom he loves.” (Bukhari, Muslim; Ibn Mas‘ud, may Allah be pleased with him)

2. “Even if one of two people who love one another for Allah’s sake is in the East and the other in the West, Allah, the Lord of the worlds, will bring them both together on the Day of Resurrection and say, ‘This is the person whom you loved for My sake.’” — (Bayhaqi; Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him)

On that day, fire will erupt beneath people’s feet, a cloud of fire will hang above their heads, and sparks of fire will rain down from it. To the right, left, front and back, only fire will surround them, and there will be just one shade under which they can seek refuge. That will be the shade of the Divine Throne. On that day, seven categories of people will find a place in this shade. Concerning them, the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said:

رجلان تحابَّا فى الله اجتمعا عليه وتفرق عليه –

“Among them will be two people who loved one another for Allah’s sake, came together for His sake, and parted for His sake.”

May Allah’s mercy be upon him who conveyed this command of His to us:

ان الله تعالى يقول يوم القيامة اين المتحابون فىَّ بجلا لى اليوم اظلهم فى ظلى يوم لا ظلَّ الا ظلِّى –

“Allah the Exalted will say on the Day of Resurrection: ‘Where are those who loved one another for My greatness? Today I shall shelter them under My shade. Today there is no shade except My shade.’” — (Muslim—Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him)

And how honored will be those about whom Allah the Exalted has given the following news:

المتحابون بجلالى لهم منابر من نور يغيطهم النبيون والشهداء –

“For those who love one another for My greatness, pulpits of light will be prepared in the Hereafter, and the prophets and martyrs will envy them.” — (Tirmidhi—Mu‘adh ibn Jabal)

6. The Importance of Mutual Relations

This deep, stable and loving relationship among people, founded on faith in Allah, is so important to the Islamic movement that any distortion of it has been viewed with profound concern. The stern warnings concerning the severing of mutual relations, the promises made regarding mutual reconciliation and bringing about reconciliation, and everything said about those who corrupt relationships will be discussed in detail later. Here it is necessary to remember, however, that the Noble Prophet (peace be upon him) compared the distortion of relationships and harboring hatred to a weapon that completely destroys the whole religion:

هى الحالقة لا اقول تحلق الشعر ولكن تحلق الدين – (احمد وترمذى- زبير)

This shows how broad and far-reaching the effect of this relationship is. Those who attach themselves to this religion with devotion and sincerity will have continuous fountains of love flowing from their hearts for their companions. This relationship will become so dear to them, and such value for it will arise in their hearts, that they will be ready to accept any other loss; but they will tolerate no harm to it.

Allah the Exalted has counted this mutual love and affection among the greatest of His blessings for the workers of the Islamic movement. The Islamic community that gains this priceless treasure will receive His special mercy and blessings. For this relationship is the lifeblood of the Islamic community and a sign of its vitality. It creates an environment for its members in which, supporting one another, they continue to determine the destination of the true path and remain constantly eager to guide one another toward righteousness. Allah the Exalted bestowed upon the first Islamic community the great treasure of mutual unity, love and brotherhood; mentioning it in Surah Al ‘Imran, He called it a special blessing of His:

واذكروا نعمة الله عليكم اذ كنتم اعداء فالف بين قلوبكم فاصبحتم بنعمته اخوانًا –

“And remember Allah’s blessing upon you: when you were enemies, He joined your hearts together, and through His mercy you became brothers.” — (Al ‘Imran: 103)

Then, in Surah al-Anfal, it is said, addressing the Noble Prophet (peace be upon him), that even if you spent all the wealth of the world, it would not have been possible for you to unite the hearts of the Muslims in such love, affection and brotherhood. This became possible only through Allah’s power—it was possible for Him alone. He gave people a religion and granted them the ability to have faith in Him and love Him. This love and affection is its inevitable result.

Two: The Need for Character and Its Fundamental Qualities

To establish and preserve the standard that Islam has set for mutual relations, Allah and His Messenger (peace be upon him) have also laid down a system of rules based on mutual rights and dignity. By following these rules, this relationship can easily be raised to the standard desired by the religion of Islam. These rules are founded upon several basic matters. If people accept and follow them in their moral lives, everything connected with those rights and dignities will continue to appear as the natural consequence of these fundamental qualities. In other words, each of these qualities will continually urge and demand from within a person the fulfillment of a particular duty and the attainment of a particular dignity. As a result, guidance or warning will not be needed at every step. The first and most important of these qualities is goodwill.

1. Goodwill

In the Noble Hadith, the word ‘nasiha’ (نصخت) is used for goodwill. This word has a very broad meaning. For this reason, the Noble Prophet (peace be upon him) said, الدين النصيحة (ثلاثا) “Religion is nothing but goodwill.” (He uttered this statement three times in succession)—Muslim.

The people toward whom goodwill should be shown are then mentioned in greater detail. Ordinary Muslims are included among them. On one occasion, the Noble Prophet (peace be upon him) took a pledge from some of his Companions to show goodwill (nasiha) toward ordinary Muslims. In light of its lexical meaning, this word signifies that no adulteration or defect should remain within a relationship. In other words, we may define this quality as always being concerned for one’s brother’s welfare and prosperity; remaining eager at every moment to promote his good; striving in every possible way to benefit him; and not tolerating any harm or hardship to him. Rather, one should try to help him in every way possible, religiously or worldly. The true standard of goodwill is that a person should like for his brother exactly what he likes for himself. For a person can never wish harm upon himself. Rather, he strives to secure as much benefit, welfare and good as possible for himself. He cannot accept the slightest loss concerning his own rights; he does not hesitate to spend time and money for his own benefit; he cannot bear to hear of harm to himself; he can never tolerate his own humiliation; rather, he desires the greatest possible share of opportunities and facilities for himself. Therefore, goodwill means that these qualities must be developed in human character, and that a person should like for his brother exactly what he likes for himself. His conduct and behavior will continue to develop along these lines.

The Noble Messenger (peace be upon him) described this moral quality of a believer as an essential condition of faith:

والذى نفسى بيده لا يؤمن عبد حتى يحب لاخيه ما يحب لنفسه –

“By Him in whose hand is my soul! No servant can be a believer until he likes for his brother what he likes for himself.” (Bukhari and Muslim—Anas)

Thus, six important rights of one Muslim over another have been mentioned; in one Hadith, this goodwill is described as follows:

وينصح له اذا غاب او شهد –

That is, “He wishes goodwill for his brother, whether he is present or absent.” (Siyaghi—Bukhari—Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him)

Another Hadith says that a Muslim has six rights over another Muslim, one of which is:

ويحب له ما يخب لنفسه –

“He likes for him what he likes for himself.” (Tirmidhi, Fabisi—‘Ali, may Allah be pleased with him)

As we proceed, we shall see how many rights and dignities are contained within this quality of goodwill, following directly as its inevitable demands.

2. Self-Sacrifice (ايثار)

When a Muslim not only likes for his brother what he likes for himself but gives him preference over himself, this quality is called ايثر or self-sacrifice. This is the second fundamental quality. ايثارThe word اثر is derived from . It means stepping forward or giving preference. In other words, a Muslim will give his brother’s welfare and prosperity preference over his own. He will set aside his own needs to meet the needs of others. He will endure hardship himself to give others comfort. He will remain hungry so that another may eat. If necessary for himself, he will accept things contrary to his temperament and nature, but he will protect his brother’s heart from anything unpleasant as far as possible.

Indeed, this is an elevated moral quality, and it cannot be expected from everyone. For no right or duty has been prescribed as its foundation. Nevertheless, immense moral nobility has been described on its basis.

This self-sacrifice should first be practiced regarding necessities, then in matters of comfort and luxury, and finally in matters of temperament and nature. This last matter is especially important. People naturally have different dispositions, and therefore their desires and needs also differ. In such circumstances, if every person remains rigidly attached to the demands of his own nature, human society is bound to be shattered. Conversely, if he learns to give preference to the tastes, preferences and inclinations of others, remarkably beautiful and cordial relationships can develop.

A higher degree of this self-sacrifice is to give one’s brother’s needs preference over one’s own while living in poverty and hardship oneself. The lives of the Companions of the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) are full of such incidents. The Qur’an also praises this quality in them:

ويوثرون على انفسهم ولو كان بهم خصاصة –

“They give preference to others over themselves, even though they are in need.” — (Surah al-Hashr: 9)

Despite their own poverty and hardship, the way the Ansar welcomed their emigrant brothers and gave them a place among themselves is undoubtedly an exemplary instance of self-sacrifice. As the occasion of revelation of the above verse, an incident involving Hazrat Abu Talhah al-Ansari is mentioned. The incident provides a beautiful example:

“One day, a hungry man came to the Noble Messenger (peace be upon him). There was no food in his household at that time. He said, ‘Whoever accommodates this man as a guest tonight, Allah will shower mercy upon him.’ Hazrat Abu Talhah took the man to his home. Upon arriving, however, he learned from his wife that there was only enough food in the house to fill the guest’s stomach. He said, ‘Feed the children and extinguish the lamp. We shall both remain hungry throughout the night. The guest will nevertheless think that we are eating too.’ And so they did. When he appeared before the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) in the morning, he said, ‘Allah the Exalted is very pleased with this good deed of yours,’ and then recited this verse.” (Bukhari and Muslim)

This is an example of self-sacrifice amid financial hardship. But an even more remarkable incident occurred during a jihad, which may be called the supreme example of self-sacrifice. The incident is as follows:

“Water was taken to a wounded man on the battlefield. At that very moment, the cry of another man was heard nearby. The first man said, ‘Take it to that man first.’ When they reached the second man, the same thing happened again, and even in his dying state he gave preference to his companion’s need. The same situation was repeated up to the sixth man, and each continued to give another’s need preference over his own. But when they reached the sixth man, they found that the lamp of his life had already gone out. Thus, by the time they returned to the first man, all of them had died one after another.”

Another meaning of self-sacrifice is to remain content with an inferior item oneself and give the superior item to one’s companion. Once, the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) was passing through a forest. He cut two miswaks, one straight and the other crooked. A Companion was with him. He gave the straight miswak to the Companion and kept the crooked one for himself. The Companion said, ‘O Messenger of Allah, this one is good and better for you.’ He replied, ‘If a person keeps the company of another for even the length of an hour, on the Day of Resurrection he will be asked whether he observed the other person’s rights during that companionship or violated them.’ (Kimiya-ye Sa‘adat) This points to the fact that self-sacrifice is also a right of companionship.

3. Adl (Justice)

Two important fundamental qualities of character are adl and ihsan. If a believer follows these two qualities, not only will no cause for severing relations be able to raise its head, but the relationship will also become extremely cordial. Therefore, Allah the Exalted issued the following command concerning these two qualities:

ان الله يأمر بالعدل والاحسان –

“Allah the Exalted commands steadfastness in adl and ihsan.” — (Surah al-Nahl: 9)

The wording “Allah commands” here deserves particular attention. The concept of adl contains two fundamental truths. First, equality and balance must be maintained regarding people’s rights. Second, everyone has the right to demand that each person’s moral, social, cultural, political, economic and material due rights be fulfilled with complete faithfulness. In other words, a Muslim will fulfill all the Shariah-sanctioned rights due to his brother, behave according to the wishes of the Shariah, and deal with him in accordance with its commands. For all the rules of adl have been incorporated into the Shariah completely and beautifully:

وانزلنا معهم الكتاب والميزان ليقوم الناس بالقسط –

“And We sent down with them the Book and the balance, so that people may uphold justice.” — (Al-Hadid: 25)

Similarly, the Shariah also demands that if one takes revenge for harm inflicted by someone, one should inflict only as much harm as was done. Whoever goes beyond this has acted against adl. A comprehensive explanation and full conception of adl are given in a Hadith of the Noble Prophet (peace be upon him). That Hadith mentions nine matters commanded by Allah; one of them is this:

كلمة العدل فى الغضب والرضاء –

“Whether in a state of anger or satisfaction, remain firm upon the word of adl.”

In reality, the fundamental sign of complete character is that, whatever the state of a person’s heart, he does not deviate from the path of adl. He must possess enough moral strength that, no matter how much disagreement or resentment exists between him and his brother, he will not allow his dealings and conduct to depart from the standard of the Shariah. The next quality after adl is ihsan. It is something additional to adl.

4. Ihsan (Good Conduct)

Ihsan is even more important than adl in mutual relations. If adl may be called the foundation of a relationship, ihsan is its beauty and perfection. If adl protects a relationship from dislike and bitterness, ihsan creates sweetness and harmony in it. In a simple relationship of this kind, each party will merely continue measuring the minimum standard of the relationship and will not be able to endure receiving even slightly less than what is due while giving slightly more than what is due to the other. Such a plain relationship may not result in conflict, but a person will be deprived of the blessings of love, self-sacrifice, morality and goodwill that create joy and sweetness in life. These blessings are attained through ihsan—that is, good conduct, generous treatment, compassion, goodwill, good humor, forbearance, mutual courtesy, civility, giving others more than their due, and being content with taking less than one’s own due, among other qualities.

The concept of ihsan is also clarified and completed by three matters in the Hadith comprising nine matters:

ان اصل من قطعنى واعطى من حرمنى واعفو عمَّن ظلمنى –

‘Whoever cuts himself off from me, I shall join myself to him; whoever deprives me of my rights, I shall grant him his rights; and whoever wrongs me, I shall forgive him.’ (Surah ar-Ra‘d 22)

In other words, this quality of character demands that a person not only repay his brother’s justice and goodness with even greater justice and goodness, but also respond with justice when his brother acts unjustly.

ويدرون بالحسنة السيّئة –

‘They repel evil and sin with justice and goodness.’ (Surah al-Qasas 54)

5. Mercy

After these four qualities, I shall use the word ‘mercy’ for the fifth quality. Of course, many other terms have also been used for it.

I use the word mercy because Allah Himself chose this word to portray the relationship among Muslims. This points to the breadth of its meaning:

محمد الرسول الله والذين معه أشداء على الكفار رحماء بينهم –

“Muhammad, the Messenger of Allah, and those with him are stern against the disbelievers and compassionate among themselves.” (Surah al-Fath 29)

To understand this quality simply, we may describe it as gentleness and tenderness of heart. As a result, deep love, affection, kindness, compassion, and concern for one’s brother become evident in one’s conduct. Even imagining that one might cause the slightest pain or hurt to one’s brother is distressing. This quality of mercy makes a person popular and attracts ordinary people to him. The Qur’an has mentioned it as one of the principal qualities of the Messenger, and several examples of it have been presented in matters of da‘wah and organization.

لقد جاءكم رسول من انفسكم عزيز عليكم ما عنتُّم حريص عليكم بالمؤمنين رؤف رَّحيم –

“Indeed, a Messenger has come to you from among yourselves. Your suffering is grievous to him; he is deeply concerned for your welfare and, toward the believers, most kind and merciful.” (Surah at-Tawbah 128)

It is stated in Surah Aal ‘Imran that if your heart had not been tender, people would never have gathered around you. And this tenderness of heart is itself a mercy from Allah.

فبما رحمة من الله لنت لهم ولو كنت فظا غليظ القلب لا نفضُّيوا حولك –

“It was by Allah’s mercy that you were gentle and kind-hearted toward them. Had you been harsh and hard-hearted, they would have dispersed from around you.” (Aal ‘Imran 159)

The natural result of faith is love and affection. Love and affection can never coexist with a hard heart. Therefore, when a believer becomes loving, he naturally becomes gentle in disposition. Otherwise, there is no goodness in his faith. The Noble Messenger highlighted this truth as follows:

المؤمن مالف ولا خير فيمن لا يألف ولا يولف – (احمد وبيهقى – ابو هريرة)

“A believer is loving and affectionate. There is no goodness in one who neither loves anyone nor is loved by anyone.” (Ahmad, Bayhaqi—from Abu Hurayrah)

That is why it has been said:

من يحرم الرفق يحرم الخير –

“Whoever is deprived of gentleness is deprived of goodness as well.” (Muslim)

A fuller explanation of this statement is:

من اعطى حظه من الرفق اعطى حظه من خير الدنيا والاخرة –

“Whoever is granted his share of gentleness has also been granted his share of the good of this world and the Hereafter.” (Sharh as-Sunnah—from ‘A’ishah)

Once, the Noble Prophet mentioned one of three people destined for Paradise. That man was extremely compassionate and sympathetic toward his relatives and ordinary Muslims.

رحيم رفيق القلب لكل ذى قرب وَّ مسلم – (مسلم )

Indeed, no one is more wretched than the person who shows no mercy to the people of this world. For in the Hereafter he will be deprived of Allah’s mercy. Conversely, Allah’s mercy becomes assured for the person who shows mercy to Allah’s servants. Muhammad therefore said:

لا تنزع الرحمة الا من شقىٍّ –

“Mercy is not withdrawn from anyone except the wretched.”

He also said:

الرحيمون يرحمهم الرحمن – ارحم من فى الارض يرحمكم من فى السماء –

“The Merciful shows mercy to those who show mercy. Show mercy to the inhabitants of the earth, and the One above the heavens will show mercy to you.” (Abu Dawud, Tirmidhi—from Ibn ‘Umar)

Two distinct manifestations of this mercy and gentleness are affection toward the young and respect toward the elders. These two matters have been mentioned in the following words:

ليس منا من لم يرحم صغيرنا ولم يوقر كبيرنا –

“He is not one of us who does not show mercy to our young and respect our elders.” (Tirmidhi—from Ibn ‘Abbas)

A Muslim is gentle in his relationship with his brother, and he strives with all possible means to keep his heart happy, not cause him distress, and fulfill each of his legitimate demands. The Noble Messenger explained this matter through the following example:

المؤمنون هينون لينون كلجمل ان قيد انقاد وان أنيخ على صخرة استنا خ –

“A believer is patient and kind like a camel with a nose-ring: when it is pulled, it follows, and when it is made to sit upon a rock, it sits.” (Tirmidhi)

The Holy Qur’an has described this entire matter very briefly:

اذلة على المؤمنين –

“They will be humble and gentle toward the believers.” (Surah al-Ma’idah 54)

In reality, it is this quality of mercy that breathes new life and vitality into human relationships and brings their beauty and excellence to perfection. Once a person appreciates the greatness of this mercy, it becomes very difficult to persuade his heart to sever the relationship through which he received this blessing.

6. Forgiveness (عفوٌّ)

Forgiveness means pardoning. Of course, many separate matters are included within this meaning, such as controlling anger, patience, forbearance, and tolerance. Since these qualities are closely related to forgiveness, we are including them within it. When a relationship is established between two people, each naturally does things that are unpleasant, bitter, painful, or distressing to the other. Some of these things provoke anger, while others may give the other person the legal right to take revenge. Yet in such circumstances, for love to prevail, they should refrain from revenge despite having the power to take it and follow the principles of forgiveness and pardon—this is what a loving relationship requires for its stability. This was a special quality of the Noble Messenger’s character. For this reason, Allah advised him in many places: خذ العفو –

“Adopt the principle of gentleness and forgiveness.” (Surah al-A‘raf 199)

فاعف عنهم واستغفرلهم –

“Pardon them and seek forgiveness for them.” (Aal ‘Imran 159)

While teaching Muslims the qualities of taqwa, it has also been said:

والكاظمين الغيظ والعافين عن الناس –

“Those who restrain their anger and forgive people.” (Aal ‘Imran 134)

When a person is hurt or suffers some loss, anger is the first thing that tries to overwhelm his mind. If anger gains control of his heart and mind, then, far from forgiving, he may commit such abnormal acts that all hope of a healthy and normal relationship in the future disappears. That is why everyone should first think about controlling his own anger. If a person gets the opportunity to consider the relationship with a calm mind, then even if he does not follow the principle of forgiveness, at least he will not cross the limits of justice. The Noble Messenger warned at various times about the harm caused by anger and advised people to suppress it. He said:

ان الغضب ليقسد الايمان كما يفسد الصبر العسل –

“Indeed, anger corrupts faith just as bitter medicine corrupts honey.” (Bayhaqi—from Ibn ‘Umar)

ما تجرع عبد افضل عند الله عز وجل من جرعة غيظ يكظمها ابتغاء وجه الله تعالى –

“In the sight of Allah, no sip swallowed by a servant is greater than a sip of anger swallowed for the sake of Allah’s pleasure.” (Ahmad—from Ibn ‘Umar)

Similarly, the Noble Messenger taught patience and said that bearing hardship patiently and remaining together is a person’s better conduct than severing relationships. He said:

المسلم خالط الناس ويصبر على اذاهم افضل من الذى لا يخالطهم ولا يصبر على اذاهم –

“The Muslim who mixes with people and bears patiently the harm they cause is better than the one who does not mix with them and does not bear their harm patiently.” (Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah—from Ibn ‘Umar)

Once, while advising Hazrat Abu Bakr as-Siddiq, he said, among other things:

عبدا ظلم بظلمة فيغضى عنها لله عز وجل الا امر الله بنصره –

“If a servant is wronged and remains silent solely for the sake of Allah Almighty, Allah will surely grant him great help.” (Bayhaqi—from Abu Hurayrah)

The next step after patience is to forgive one’s own brother cheerfully despite having the power to retaliate and take revenge. The Prophet said: Hazrat Musa asked Allah, ‘Which of Your servants is most beloved to You?’ Allah Almighty replied:

من اذا قدر عذر –

“The one who forgives despite having the power to take revenge.” (Bayhaqi—from Abu Hurayrah)

Similarly, the Noble Prophet gave a warning concerning the person who does not accept his brother’s apology:

من اعتذر الى اخيه فلم يعتذره او لم يقبل عذره كان عليه مثل خطيئة صاحب مكسٍ –

“If someone apologizes to his brother for his wrongdoing, but he does not excuse him or accept his apology, he incurs a sin equal to that of an illegal tax collector.” (Tirmidhi—from Sahl ibn Mu‘adh)

And whoever forgives his brother despite being angry will receive the finest reward in the Hereafter as well. Thus the Noble Prophet said:

من كظم غليظا وهو يقدر على ان ينقذه دعاه الله على رئوس الخلائق يوم القيامة حتى يخيره فى اى الحور شاء –

“Whoever restrains his anger despite having the power to act upon it, Allah will call him before all creation on the Day of Resurrection and give him the choice of whichever houri he wishes.” (Tirmidhi—from Sahl ibn Mu‘adh)

Those who forgive in the life of this world will have their faults forgiven by Allah Almighty.

وليعفوا وليصفحوا الا تحبون ان يغفرالله لكم والله غفور رَّحيم –

“They should pardon and forgive. Do you not love that Allah should forgive you? Indeed, Allah is Most Forgiving, Most Merciful.” (Surah an-Nur 22)

Of course, retaliation with an equivalent wrong is permissible, but the reward of the person who forgives rests with Allah. وجزاؤ اسيّئة سيّئة مّثلها – فمن عفا واصلح فاجره على الله انه لا يحب الظالمين –

“The recompense of an evil is an evil equivalent to it. But whoever forgives and reconciles, his reward is with Allah; indeed, He does not love the wrongdoers.” (Surah ash-Shura 40)

Acquiring this quality of forgiveness is not easy. It is a great act of courage.

ولمن صبر وغفر ان ذالك من عزم الامور-

“Whoever bears patiently and forgives has indeed done a great act of courage.” (Surah ash-Shura 43)

But this very quality creates immense nobility and purity within a relationship. Therefore, it is indeed a very important quality.

In this connection, I consider it necessary to mention two further qualities. One is mutual trust or reliance, and the second is appreciation of value.

7. Reliance

The word friendship is also included in the comprehensive concept of reliance. It is inherent in the term that the Qur’an has used to define the mutual relationship of Muslims. In reality, a person who is completely trustworthy, to whom one can disclose all one’s secrets with complete confidence, is called a friend. And that a person should rely on his companion and make him a partner in every matter of life—this is what a brotherly relationship demands.

8. Appreciation of Value

The aim of this final matter is that a person should be sufficiently aware of the importance and dignity of this relationship to appreciate its true value. This will be possible only when he is never willing to sever this relationship.

Three: Ways to Protect the Relationship from Distortion

In light of these foundational principles and qualities, Allah and His Messenger have given us extensive guidance so that the relationship may be raised to its intended standard. Some of these matters are negative; they protect the relationship from harm. Others are positive; they provide it with greater stability and affection.

The very first and foremost prohibited matter is interference with rights.

1. Interference with Rights

Every person in this world possesses certain rights. These rights concern both the things people use and the people connected with them. It is a Muslim’s duty to remain vigilant so that he does not become guilty of depriving his brother of either kind of right. Just as he will not take away his brother’s rights concerning wealth, property, or material interests, neither will he refrain from fulfilling the duties owed to him regarding his life, property, honor, dignity, and religion. The Qur’an has discussed all these rights in detail. In matters of inheritance, marriage, divorce, and every other matter, Allah has set His limits and closed the way to interference with them. The detailed particulars concerning this have been clearly mentioned in the Hadith. Moreover, wherever the relevant rules and regulations have been stated, people have been strongly advised concerning rights and fear of Allah, and warned in severe terms about the evil consequences of violating the prescribed limits.

تلك حدود الله فلا تعتدوها ومن يعتدَّ حدود الله فاولـــئك هم الظالمون –

“These are Allah’s limits, so do not transgress them. Whoever transgresses Allah’s limits—such are the wrongdoers.” (Surah al-Baqarah 229)

تلك حدود الله ومن يطع الله ورسوله يدخله جنات تجرى من تحتها الانهار خالدين فيها وذالك الفوز العظيم- ومن يعص الله ورسوله ويعتدَّ حدوده يدخله نارا خالدا فيها وله عذاب مُّهين –

“These are Allah’s limits. Whoever obeys Allah and His Messenger, He will admit him into gardens beneath which rivers flow, where they will remain forever. That is the supreme success. And whoever disobeys Allah and His Messenger and transgresses His limits, He will admit him into the Fire, where he will remain forever, and for him is a humiliating punishment.” (Surah an-Nisa 13–14)

The Noble Prophet explained this matter to the Muslims in the following way:

من اقتع حق امرء مسلم بيمينه فقد اوجب الله له النار وحرَّم عليه الجنة –

“Whoever takes away the right of a Muslim by swearing an oath, Allah has certainly made the Fire obligatory for him and forbidden Paradise to him.

Someone among the Companions asked:

وان كان شيئا يسيرا يا رسول الله ! فقال ان كان قضيبا من اراك –

“Even if it is something insignificant? The Noble Prophet said: Yes, even if it is an ordinary, useless twig of the arak tree.”

Once, while explaining this matter to the Companions in a very appealing manner, the Messenger asked them:

أتدرون المفلس؟ قالوا المفلس فينا من لا درهم له ولا متاع فقال ان المفلس فى امتى من يأتى يوم القيامة بصلوة وصيام وزكوة وياتى قد شتم هذا وقذف هذا واكل مال هذا وسفك دم هذا وضرب هذا فيعطى هذا من حسناته وهذا من حسناته فان فنيت حسناته قبل ان يقضى ما عليه اخذ من خطاياهم فطرحت عليه ثم طرح فى النار –

“Do you know who the bankrupt person is? The Companions replied, according to the ordinary meaning: The bankrupt person among us is one who has neither money nor possessions. The Messenger said: The truly bankrupt person among my Ummah is one who will come on the Day of Resurrection with prayer, fasting, and zakat, but will also come having insulted someone, slandered someone, consumed someone’s wealth, shed someone’s blood, and beaten someone. Then his good deeds will be given to one wronged person, and his good deeds will then be given to another wronged person. If his good deeds run out before the claims against him are settled, the sins of those wronged people will be taken and placed upon him, and then he will be thrown into Hell.” (Muslim—from Abu Hurayrah)

To protect relationships from distortion in this world and to escape punishment in the Hereafter, complete security of rights is necessary. That is why the Noble Messenger particularly advised Muslims, before his death, to seek forgiveness from their Muslim brothers for their own faults.

The fundamental basis of safeguarding rights is that Muslims’ lives, property, honor, and dignity remain safe from the hands and tongues of their brothers. The Noble Messenger even included this among the essential qualities. He said:

المسلم من سلم المسلمون من لسانه ويده –

“A Muslim is one from whose tongue and hand all Muslims are safe.” (Bukhari and Muslim—from ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Umar)

2. Security of Body and Life

The most beloved and valuable things to every Muslim are his body and his life. Whoever acts unjustly in this regard can never be regarded as his brother. Therefore, Muslims have been sternly prohibited from unlawful bloodshed:

ومن يقتل مؤمنا متعمدا فجزائه جهنم خالدا فيها وغضب الله عليه ولعنه واعدله عذابا عظيما –

“Whoever intentionally kills a believer, his recompense is Hell, where he will remain forever. Allah has incurred His wrath and curse upon him and has prepared for him the severest punishment.” (Surah al-Nisa 4:93)

During the Farewell Pilgrimage, the Messenger (peace be upon him) declared in eloquent terms that the lives, property, and honor of Muslims are sacred to one another, and then said: ‘Beware, do not become disbelievers after me and begin cutting one another’s throats.’

On another occasion, he said:

سباب المسلم فسوق وقتاله كفرً-

‘Abusing a Muslim is wickedness, and fighting him is disbelief.’ (Bukhari and Muslim)

The misuse of the tongue makes mutual relations extremely fragile—more so than the misuse of the hand. It continually gives rise to discord in countless ways. Each such discord is so complex that resolving it is extremely difficult. That is why it is most necessary to create barriers against this type of discord. Thus, Allah and His Messenger (peace be upon him) have issued extensive warnings concerning the use of the tongue in relationships, while also identifying every cause of distortion and disruption within the bounds of relationships and showing how to prevent them.

The Qur’an says to the Muslims:

ما يلفظ من قول الا لديه رقيب عتيد –

“He does not utter a word without an observer ready to record it.” (Surah Qaf 50:18)

Once, after giving Hazrat Mu‘adh (may Allah be pleased with him) various pieces of advice, the Noble Messenger (peace be upon him) grasped his own tongue and said: كف عليك هذا‘Your duty is to restrain this.’ He asked: ‘O Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him)! Will we also be questioned about what we say to one another?’ He replied:

هل يكبَّ الناس على وجوههم الا حصائد ألسنتهم –

“What else throws people face-first into the Fire of Hell except the harvest of their tongues?” (Tirmidhi—Mu‘adh ibn Jabal)

Sufyan ibn Abdullah asked: ‘What should I fear most concerning myself?’ The Messenger (peace be upon him) took hold of his tongue and said: ‘This.’

3. Harsh Speech and Abuse

Abusing a brother to his face, speaking harshly to him, and mocking or ridiculing him are entirely unlawful. Likewise, calling him by distorted names also falls under this prohibition. The Qur’an says concerning this:

ولا تنابزوا بالالقاب بئس الاسم الفسوق بعد الايمان –

“Do not defame one another with offensive nicknames. Wretched is the name of disobedience after faith.” (Surah al-Hujurat 49:11)

Similarly, the Messenger (peace be upon him) said:

لا يدخل الجنة الجواط الجعظرى –

“No foul-mouthed, ill-tempered person will enter Paradise.” (Abu Dawud, Bayhaqi—Harith ibn Wahb)

ان ابغضكم الى وابغضكم منى عبسا يوم القيامة الثارثرون المتشدقون المتفيهقون –

“On the Day of Resurrection, the most accursed in my sight and the farthest from me will be the talkative, the vulgar, the pretentious claimants to knowledge, and the arrogant.” (Tirmidhi—Jabir, may Allah be pleased with him)

ليس المؤمن بالطّعّان ولا بالَّعان ولا الفاحش ولا البذى –

“A believer is neither one who mocks, nor one who curses, nor one who speaks obscenely, nor one who is vulgar.” (Tirmidhi—Ibn Mas‘ud, may Allah be pleased with him)

In short, a believer must not attack his brother’s honor and dignity in his presence.

4. Backbiting

Another form of discord is backbiting. It is even more serious than the preceding matter, because a person speaks ill of his brother not to his face but behind his back. Therefore, the Qur’an has compared backbiting to eating the flesh of one’s dead brother:

لا يغتب بعضكم بعضا – أيحب أحدكم أن يأكل لحم اخيه ميتا فكرهتموه –

“Do not backbite one another. Would any of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would surely detest it.” (Surah al-Hujurat 49:12)

Once, while explaining the definition of backbiting, the Noble Messenger (peace be upon him) asked the Companions: ‘Do you know what backbiting is?’

The Companions said: ‘Allah and His Messenger know best.’ He said:

ذكرك اخاك بما يكره فقيل ارايت ان كان فى اخى ما اقول قال ان كان فيه ما تقول فقد اغتبته وان لم يكن فيه ما تقول فقد بهته –

“Backbiting is to mention your brother in a manner he dislikes. It was asked, ‘What if the fault I mention actually exists in my brother?’ The Messenger (peace be upon him) said: ‘If the fault you mention exists in him, then you have backbitten him; and if it does not exist in him, then you have slandered him.’” (Muslim—Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him)

Indeed, a Muslim brother’s honor and dignity demand that his brother not speak ill of him behind his back.

5. Tale-Bearing

Tale-bearing is one form of backbiting. In condemning it, the Qur’an says:

همَّازٍ مَّشّاء بنميم –

“Those who mock people and go about spreading tales.” (Surah al-Qalam 68:11)

Hazrat Hudhayfah (may Allah be pleased with him) said:

‘I heard the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) say: A tale-bearer will not enter Paradise.’

The Noble Messenger (peace be upon him) gave his Companions particular advice, saying:

لا يبلغنى احد من اصابى شيئا فانى احبَّ ان اخرج اليكم وانا سليم الصدر –

“Let no one convey to me anything bad about anyone, for I like to come to you with a clear heart toward everyone.” (Abu Dawud—Ibn Mas‘ud, may Allah be pleased with him)

Backbiting and tale-bearing include not only misconduct of the tongue but also misconduct carried out through the hands, feet, and eyes.

6. Shaming

One serious form of misconduct that creates hatred and hostility in the human heart is to shame one’s own brother for his faults and shortcomings, whether in his presence or before other people, and thereby humiliate him. Such conduct tears his heart apart, because no person can tolerate this kind of humiliation.

The Qur’an says:

ولا تلمزوا انفسكم –

‘Do not blame one another.’ (Surah al-Hujurat 49:11)

In a hadith, the Noble Messenger (peace be upon him) said: Whoever shames his brother for a sin will not die until he himself commits that sin.

من غيَّر اخاه بذنب لم يمت حتى يعمله –

In a hadith narrated by Hazrat Ibn Umar (may Allah be pleased with him), the Prophet (peace be upon him) mentioned some duties Muslims owe one another. He said: ‘Do not make them targets of any fault or sin in order to shame and humiliate them.’ (Tirmidhi)

7. Seeking Out Faults

Before blaming and shaming someone, there is another evil act: deliberately searching out one’s brother’s faults and probing his weaknesses. The person whose faults are investigated becomes embarrassed, while the person whose shortcomings are exposed also develops a fixed negative opinion. Since fault-finding pays no attention to any reliable means of investigation, it generally relies on dubious methods and thus creates a greater likelihood of committing the serious offense of harboring negative opinions and suspicions about one’s brother. For this reason, immediately after warning against negative assumptions, the Qur’an says to the Muslims:

ولا تجسَّسوا

‘And do not spy on one another.’ (Surah al-Hujurat 49:12)

The Noble Prophet (peace be upon him) also said concerning this:

ولا تتَّبعوا عوراتهم فانه من يتَّبع عورة اخيه المسلم يتَّبع الله عورته ومن يتَّبع الله عورته يفضحه ولو فى جوف رحله –

‘Do not seek out the faults of Muslims. Whoever seeks out the hidden faults and sins of his Muslim brother, Allah will seek out his hidden faults. And whoever’s faults Allah seeks out, He will disgrace him, even if he is hiding inside his own home.’ (Tirmidhi—Abdullah ibn Umar, may Allah be pleased with him)

8. Mockery

Another deadly form of misconduct of the tongue—which separates one brother from another—is joking at someone’s expense or mocking him. That is, to joke about and ridicule one’s own brother in a manner mixed with contempt; indeed, in most cases, mockery results from belittling others and considering oneself superior. Therefore, the Qur’an has issued the following warning concerning it:

يايُّها الذين امنوا لا يسخر قوم من قوم عسى ان يَّكونوا خيرًا منهم ولا نساء من نساءٍ عسى ان يّكنًّ خيرًا منهنَّ-

‘O you who believe! Let not one people mock another people; perhaps they may be better than them. Nor let women mock other women; perhaps they may be better than them.’ (Surah al-Hujurat 49:11)

The Noble Messenger (peace be upon him) described the terrible consequence in the Hereafter of anyone who mocks a Muslim brother as follows:

انَّ المستهزئين بالناس يفتح لاحدهم فى الاخرة باب من الجنة فيقال له هلمَّ فيجئُّ بكربه وغمِّه فاذا جاءه اغلق دونه ثم يفتح له باب اخر فيقال له هلمَّ فيجئُّ بكربه وغمِّه فاذا جاءه اغلق دونه فما يزال كذالك حتى انَّ احدهم ليفتح له الباب من ابواب الجنة فيقال له هلمَّ فما يأتيه من الياس-

‘On the Day of Resurrection, a gate of Paradise will be opened for the person who mocks people, and he will be told, “Come in.” He will approach it with difficulty, and as soon as he reaches the gate, it will be closed in his face. Then another gate will be opened and he will be told, “Come, enter.” He will again approach with difficulty, but as soon as he draws near, the gate will be closed. This will continue repeatedly. Finally, a gate of Paradise will be opened for him and he will be told, “Come.” At that point, because of despair, he will neither dare approach it nor enter Paradise.’ (Bayhaqi)

One form of mockery is making fun of other people’s faults and shortcomings. Once, when Hazrat Aishah (may Allah be pleased with her) mocked someone, the Messenger (peace be upon him) expressed great displeasure and said:

ما احب انى حكيت احدا وانَّ لى كذا وكذا –

‘I do not like to mock anyone, even if I were given such-and-such things in return—that is, any worldly blessing.’ (Tirmidhi—Aishah, may Allah be pleased with her)

9. Considering Others Inferior

What lies hidden within the heart and appears outwardly through abuse, shaming, backbiting, tale-bearing, and mockery is considering one’s own brother inferior to oneself. Indeed, only after this feeling of superiority develops does a person dare to behave toward his brother in such ways. Otherwise, one who considers his brother superior to himself could never commit such acts. That is why, while prohibiting mockery, the Qur’an indicates that if a person reflects that his brother may be better than him, he will never mock him.

عسى ان يَّكونوا خيرًا مِّنهم –

‘Perhaps he is better than the one who mocks.’ (Surah al-Hujurat 49:11)

Someone among the Companions asked—Considering a believing Muslim brother inferior, or holding a low and contemptuous opinion of him, can never be reconciled with faith and taqwa. A person’s standard of honor and dignity is taqwa, and its true judgment will take place before Allah in the Hereafter. Therefore, considering one’s Muslim brother inferior in this world means that the person has not yet understood the true value of faith. Once, in a highly significant hadith, the Noble Messenger (peace be upon him) described taqwa as something of the heart and said:

يحسب امرء مِّن الَِّشرِّ ان يُّحقر اخاه المسلم –

‘It is sufficient sin for a person that he considers his Muslim brother contemptible.’ (Muslim—Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him)

In another narration, the Messenger (peace be upon him) said:

ولا يخذ له ولا يحقره –

‘No Muslim should humiliate another Muslim or consider him inferior.’

Once, the Messenger (peace be upon him) said that whoever has even an atom’s weight of arrogance in his heart will not enter Paradise. Then, in response to a man’s question, he explained arrogance, saying:تعد that whoever has even an atom’s weight of arrogance in his heart will not enter Paradise. Then, in response to a man’s question, he explained arrogance, saying:

يطر الحقِّ وغمط النَّاس –

‘Arrogance means rejecting the truth and considering people inferior.’ (Muslim—Ibn Mas‘ud, may Allah be pleased with him)

In a hadith, Hazrat Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) mentioned three things that bring salvation and three that bring destruction, saying:

اعجاب المرء بنفسه وهى اشدُّ هُنَّ –

‘One destructive thing is considering oneself pious and superior, and this is the worst habit.’ (Bayhaqi—Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him)

In today’s social environment, Islamic Movement workers should practice self-discipline in this regard not only in their dealings with their friends and colleagues, but also in their dealings with ordinary Muslims.

10. Negative Assumptions

The disease of assumption is a serious disease. It eats away at mutual relationships and leaves them hollow. In common usage, assumption means a belief unsupported by clear evidence, proof, or direct knowledge. When such a belief is negative, it is called suspicion. If a Muslim begins to suspect his brother without any direct knowledge of him, love and affection are bound to depart from that relationship. Therefore, the Qur’an says concerning this:

يايها الذين امنوا اجتـنبوا كثيرًا من الظَّنِّ انَّ بعض الظَّنِّ اثم –

‘O you who believe! Avoid much suspicion; indeed, some suspicion is sin.’ (Surah al-Hujurat 49:12)

The Messenger (peace be upon him) said to his Companions in the following words:

ايّاكم والظّنِّ فانَّ الظَّنَّ اكذب الحديث –

‘Avoid assumptions, for assumptions are the worst of false speech.’ (Bukhari and Muslim—Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him)

The best way to avoid assumptions and suspicion is for a person not to harbor a bad opinion of his brother’s intention or make any adverse comment about it. Intention is such a matter that it is impossible to obtain clear or direct knowledge concerning it. One must always rely on assumption in this regard. If a few more points are kept in mind, this disease can easily be remedied.

First, just as it is the duty of every Muslim not to harbor assumptions or suspicion about his brother, it is also his duty not to give others an opportunity to suspect him. Therefore, one must avoid, as far as possible, anything that creates grounds for suspicion. No one should ever put another person into a trial or temptation; the Noble Prophet (peace be upon him) himself set an example in this regard. Once, while he was observing i‘tikaf, one of his wives came to visit him at night. He went to accompany her on her way back. By chance, he met two Ansar. Seeing him with a woman, they thought their arrival was untimely and began to turn away. He immediately called them and said: ‘Listen, this is my such-and-such wife.’ The two Ansar said: ‘O Messenger of Allah! If we were ever to suspect anyone, would we suspect you?’ He said: ‘Satan flows through a human being like blood.’

Second, if suspicion nevertheless arises despite efforts to avoid it, do not suppress it within yourself. Suppressing suspicion in the heart is akin to betrayal. Rather, immediately disclose it to your brother so that he can remove it. Conversely, the person toward whom suspicion has been expressed should not remain silent but should dispel it at once. Otherwise, a substantial share of this sin may also fall upon him.

11. Slander

Knowingly considering one’s brother guilty, or attributing to him a sin he did not commit, is called slander. This is clearly a form of falsehood and betrayal. An even worse form of this slander is placing one’s own sin on someone else’s shoulders. The Qur’an says concerning this:

ومن يكسب خطيئة او اثما ثمَّ يرم به بريئًا فقد احتمل بهتانا وَّاثمًا مُّبينا –

‘Whoever commits a sin or offense and then accuses an innocent person of it has burdened himself with a great slander and a manifest sin.’ (Surah al-Nisa 4:112)

Concerning falsely slandering Muslims, it is said:

والذين يؤذون المؤمنين والمؤمنات بغير ما اكتسبوا فقد احتملوا بهتانا وَّاثما مُّبينا –

‘Those who harm believing men and believing women without their having earned it have burdened themselves with slander and a manifest sin.’ (Surah al-Ahzab 33:58)

Indeed, how much room can there be for such conduct in a relationship based on love?

12. Causing Harm

The word ‘harm’ also has a very broad significance. Here, however, it means that a Muslim should take care that no harm comes to his brother through him. This harm may be physical or psychological. The Noble Messenger (peace be upon him) said in extremely stern words concerning this:

ملعون من ضارُّمؤمنا او مكربه-

‘The one who harms a believer or deceives anyone is accursed.’ (Tirmidhi, Abu Bakr al-Siddiq, may Allah be pleased with him)

“Whoever harms a Muslim, Allah will harm him; and whoever causes hardship to a Muslim, Allah will cause hardship to him.” (Ibn Majah, Tirmidhi)

13. Causing Emotional Pain

For a Muslim to cause pain to his brother’s heart is certainly an undesirable act. Such conduct should not be encouraged at all. One brother’s heart may be hurt by another for several reasons. Besides the major causes related to this, a person’s temperament and manner of expression in the small details of life may also cause emotional pain. The basic principle here is that a Muslim should strive to ensure that his brother’s heart is not hurt and his feelings are not wounded through him.

This is also the basis of the serious offense of backbiting. Thus, the definition of backbiting is to discuss someone in a manner he dislikes or that may cause him emotional pain.

The Noble Messenger (peace be upon him) said: ‘When three people are together, two of them should not whisper privately to one another. However, if many people are gathered, this may be done.’ The reason given for this injunction is as follows:

من اجل ان يَّحزنه –

‘For fear that he might become distressed.’ (Muslim—Abu Abdullah ibn Mas‘ud)

If we consider these rules and regulations given by Islam, we will understand that refraining from causing distress to a Muslim brother operates as a fundamental principle behind them. Causing distress to a Muslim is also extremely wrong from a religious perspective. Thus, regarding this, the Noble Messenger (peace be upon him) said:

من اذى مسلما فقد اذى الله –

‘Whoever causes distress to a Muslim has caused distress to Allah Himself.’ (Tirmidhi—Anas, may Allah be pleased with him)

Conversely, when an act is performed with the intention of making someone happy, glad tidings have been given concerning it:

من قضى لاحد من امَّتى حاجَّة يُّريد ان يُّسرَّه بها فقد سرَّنى ومن سرَّنى فقد سرَّالله ومن سرّالله ادخله الله الجنة –

‘Whoever fulfills the need of one of my ummah with the intention of making him happy has made me happy. Whoever makes me happy has made Allah happy. And whoever makes Allah happy, Allah will admit him into Paradise.’ (Bayhaqi—Anas, may Allah be pleased with him)

Here, the following statement of the Noble Messenger (peace be upon him) should also be remembered: ‘A believer is a radiant symbol of love and affection. There is no good in one who does not love anyone and is not loved by anyone.’

Mental anguish is generally caused by harassing someone through jokes and teasing—in other words, joking in such a way that the other person feels embarrassed and distressed.

Once, the Companions were traveling with the Messenger (peace be upon him). While the caravan was spending the night at a place along the route, one man took away the rope of another companion who was asleep and thereby embarrassed him. Upon learning of this, the Noble Messenger (peace be upon him) said:

لا يحلُّ للمسلم ان يَّروع مسلماً –

‘It is not lawful for a Muslim to harass another Muslim by joking and teasing.’ (Ahmad, Abu Dawud, Tirmidhi—Abdur Rahman, may Allah be pleased with him)

Similarly, when an incident once occurred in which a weapon was concealed, the Messenger (peace be upon him) prohibited it, saying:

ان يَّروع المؤمن او ان يُّؤخذ متاعه لا لعبا وَّلا جدَّا –

‘It is not permissible to frighten a believer or to take anyone’s property, whether as a joke or in earnest.’

14. Deception

Muslims have been prohibited from deceiving or lying to their own brothers in conversation or transactions. For where one party can behave in this way toward the other, neither can rely on the other. And where one person’s word is not trustworthy to another, friendship, love, and mutual trust cannot exist at all. In the Noble Hadith, this very act has been described as ‘the worst form of betrayal.’ The Messenger (peace be upon him) said:

قال كبرت خيانة ان تحدث اخاك حديثا هولك مصدق وانت به كاذبٌ –

‘The greatest betrayal is that you tell your brother something and he considers you truthful, while you have lied to him.’ (Tirmidhi—Sufyan ibn Asad)

15. Envy

Envy, or jealousy of another’s blessings, is a despicable disease. If this disease finds a place in a person’s heart, it not only severs sincere relationships but also puts people’s iman at risk. Envy means disliking any blessing bestowed by Allah Almighty upon someone—such as wealth, knowledge, intelligence, or beauty—and earnestly wishing that these blessings would be taken away from that person. In envy, the desire to deprive another of blessings is stronger than the desire to obtain blessings for oneself.

Envy sometimes arises from hatred and hostility; sometimes from personal arrogance and a sense of inferiority toward others; sometimes from the urge to make others submissive; sometimes from one’s own failure and another’s success in a joint endeavor; and sometimes simply from the desire for honor and prestige. Concerning envy, the Noble Prophet (peace be upon him) issued this warning:

ايَّاكم والحسد فانَّ الحسد يأكل الحسنات كما تأكل النّار الحطب –

‘Beware of envy, for envy consumes good deeds just as fire consumes wood.’ (Abu Dawud—Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him)

And it is from this very thing that the Qur’an has instructed every Muslim to seek refuge:

من شرِّ حاسدٍ اذا حسد –

‘And (I seek refuge) from the evil of the envier when he envies.’ (Surah al-Falaq 5)

In an important Hadith, the Noble Prophet pointed out several matters essential to brotherly relations. One part of that Hadith mentions baseless suspicion. In the remaining part, the Messenger (peace be upon him) said:

ولا تجسَّسوا ولا تناجشوا ولا تحاسدوا ولا تباغضوا ولا تدابروا ولا تنافسوا وكونوا عباد الله اخوانا –

‘Do not seek out one another’s faults, do not harm one another’s trade, do not harbor envy or hatred toward one another, do not maintain enmity toward one another, do not sever relations with one another, and do not be greedy toward one another; rather, be servants of Allah and brothers to one another.’ (Bukhari and Muslim—Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him)

The renowned commentator on Hadith, Hafiz Ibn Hajar al-Asqalani, says in explaining it: ‘Its significance is that when you abandon these prohibited acts, you will naturally become brothers to one another.’ Moreover, regarding this envy and hostility, the Messenger (peace be upon him) also said:

دبَّ اليكم داء الامم قيلكم الحسد والبغضاء هى الحالقة لا اقول تحلق الشَّعر ولكن تحلق الدين-

‘The disease of the earlier communities has entered among you. That disease is envy and hatred, which shaves away. I do not mean that it shaves the hair; rather, it shaves away the religion.’ (Ahmad, Tirmidhi)

Four: Ways of Strengthening Relationships

Along with prohibiting these things that distort and harm relationships, Allah and the Messenger (peace be upon him) have also clearly told us which things, when adopted and followed, make relationships stronger and more stable, increase friendship and love, and create between two hearts a closeness like that between two fingers of one hand. Some of these things have been declared essential; in other words, they have been presented as rights. For some others, advice has been given. These belong to the category of excellence and nobility. Indeed, the basic moral qualities described earlier are the very essence of rights and excellence, but each of them needs to be brought forward separately. For each is extremely important in developing and adorning the relationship of friendship and love with its flowers and fruits.

1. Safeguarding Honor and Dignity

A person’s honor and dignity are the most valuable things he possesses. He will never agree to ruin his own honor and dignity. Therefore, just as Muslims have been prohibited from attacking their brother’s honor, they have likewise been especially urged to protect their own brother’s honor, and this has been described as an absolute duty. If a brother is insulted somewhere or falsely accused, every Muslim must regard it as an attack on his own honor and confront it. Just as much distress as he feels when his own honor is ruined, he should feel in such a case as well. If a Muslim firmly believes that his honor and dignity are safe in the hands of his Muslim brother, a sincere relationship will certainly develop between them. But if he also firmly believes that his brother protects his honor, whether in front of him or behind his back, just as he protects his own, it is easy to imagine how profound a love can arise in his heart. That is why the Noble Prophet (peace be upon him) gave guidance on this matter in countless Hadiths. He said:

ما من امرء مُّسلم يخذل امرأ مسلما فى موضع ينتهك فيه حرمته وينتقص فيه من عرضه الا خذله الله فى موطن يحب فيه نصرته وما من امرى ينصر مسلما فى موضع ينتقص فيه من عرضه وينتهك فيه من حرمته الا نصره الله فى موطن يحب نصرته –

‘If a Muslim’s honor is violated or he is humiliated somewhere, and a Muslim refrains from helping and supporting him there, then Allah will withhold His help from him in a similarly critical situation, even though He wishes someone to come forward to help and support him. And if a Muslim stands up to help another Muslim when the latter is being insulted and his dignity violated, Allah will likewise help and support him in such a situation, for He wishes someone to help him. (Abu Dawud—Jabir, may Allah be pleased with him)

Allah’s greatest help is that He will protect a person from the Fire of Hell. Therefore, the Messenger (peace be upon him) said:

ما من مسلم يردُّ عن عرض اخيه الا كان حقا على الله ان يَّردُّ عنه نار جهنَّم ثمَّ تلا هذه الاية وكان حقا علينا نصر المؤمنين –

‘For the Muslim who prevents anyone from violating the honor of his Muslim brother, Allah is bound to keep the Fire of Hell away from him. Then the Messenger (peace be upon him) recited this verse: “It is incumbent upon Us to help the believers.”’ (Sharh al-Sunnah—Abu Darda)

One common form of violating someone’s dignity is backbiting. Its definition was given earlier.

Regarding this, the Messenger (peace be upon him) said:

من اغضب عنده اخوه المسلم وهو يقدر على نصره فنصره نصر الله فى الدنيا والاخرة فان لم ينصره وهو يقدر على نصره اخذه الله به فى الدنيا والاخرة –

‘If a Muslim brother is backbitten in someone’s presence, and he is capable of helping him and does so, Allah will help him in this world and the Hereafter. But if, despite having the ability to help, he does not help him, Allah will seize him to account in this world and the Hereafter. (Sharh al-Sunnah—Anas, may Allah be pleased with him)

Regarding protecting one’s brother from another person’s harm, the Messenger (peace be upon him) said:

من حمى مؤمنا من منافقٍ ازاه قال بعث الله ملكا يحمى لحمه يوم القيامة من نَّار جهنَّم –

‘Whoever protects a believer from a hypocrite, Allah Almighty will appoint an angel for him who will protect his flesh from the Fire of Hell on the Day of Resurrection.’ (Abu Dawud)

Many kinds of duties are imposed on a Muslim regarding helping his brother: financial assistance, removing difficulties, trying to solve problems, and fulfilling countless other religious and worldly needs. These matters belong to ihsan, beyond the bounds of law. Yet they are necessary matters, and one will have to answer for them in the Hereafter, although it is not possible to legislate any law concerning them. If a Muslim can feed another Muslim to satiety, cover his naked body, help remove his dangers and troubles, fulfill his needs, and relieve his financial hardship, then doing these things is his brother’s right over him. Otherwise, on the Day of Resurrection, Allah Almighty will describe each of these as His own right and ask why he did not fulfill it. The Noble Prophet (peace be upon him) described this in exceptionally moving words: ‘Allah will say, “O My servant, I was hungry; why did you not feed Me? I was naked; why did you not clothe Me? I was ill; why did you not care for Me?” But the servant will have no answer. (Muslim—Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him)

Indeed, helping a servant of Allah or fulfilling the need of a Muslim brother is such a great act of virtue that no other good deed can equal it. Its true spirit is that whenever any means is found to comfort a Muslim brother or make his heart happy, one should not delay in using it at all.

As long as a person remains engaged in helping his brother, he remains worthy of Allah’s help. The Noble Messenger (peace be upon him) said:

والله فى عون عبده ما كان العبد فى عون اَخِيْهِ –

‘Allah continues to help His servant as long as that servant remains engaged in helping his brother.’ (Muslim, Tirmidhi—Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him)

In this Hadith, the Noble Prophet shed light on the various aspects of assistance and spoke of the reward for each:

من نفس عن مؤمن كربة من من كرب الدنيا نفس الله عنه كربة من كرب يوم القيامة من يَّسَّر على معسر يسَّر الله عليه فى الدنيا والاخرة ومن يستر مسلما ستره الله فى الدنيا والاخرة –

‘Whoever relieves a believer of one of the worldly difficulties afflicting him, Allah will relieve him of one of the difficulties of the Day of Resurrection. Whoever makes things easy for a person in hardship, Allah will make things easy for him in this world and the Hereafter. And whoever conceals a Muslim’s faults, Allah will conceal his faults in this world and the Hereafter.’ (Muslim—Abu Hurayrah)

In this regard, he says in another Hadith:

المسلم اخو المسلم لا يظلمه ولا يسلمه ومن كان فى حاجة اخيه كان الله فى حاجته ومن فرج عن مسلم كربة فرج الله عنه كربة من كربات يوم القيامة –

‘A Muslim is the brother of a Muslim. He will neither wrong him nor abandon him to destruction by withholding his help. Whoever fulfills his brother’s need, Allah will fulfill his need. And whoever removes a Muslim’s distress and hardship, Allah will remove one of his difficulties on the Day of Resurrection.’ (Bukhari and Muslim—Ibn Umar, may Allah be pleased with him)

A major part of assistance and good conduct is connected with wealth. Everyone deprived is entitled to receive help from the one to whom Allah has granted this blessing:

وفى اموالهم حق للسَّائل والمحروم –

The Messenger (peace be upon him) presented this matter in an exceptionally elevated style:

الخلق عيال الله فاحبُّ الخلق الى الله من احسن الى عياله –

‘Creation is Allah’s family; therefore, the one most beloved to Allah among His creation is the one who treats His family best.’ (Bayhaqi)

The Qur’an has strongly emphasized feeding the hungry. There are many examples of this in the early Makkan surahs. When the Noble Messenger (peace be upon him) came to Madinah, he instructed the Muslims on four matters in his first sermon and said that afterward they could enter Paradise. One of those instructions was this:واطعموا الطعام ‘And feed others’

He also said:

ليس المؤمن بالذى يشبع وجاره جائع الى جنيه –

‘He who eats his fill while his nearby neighbor remains hungry is not a believer.’ (Bayhaqi—Ibn Abbas, may Allah be pleased with him)

A man complained to the Messenger (peace be upon him) about his own hardness of heart. The Messenger (peace be upon him) told him:

قال امسح رأس اليتيم واطعم المسكين –

‘Stroke the head of an orphan and feed the miskin.’ (Ahmad—Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him)

Doing justice to a distressed person is also a major branch of this assistance. Therefore, the Messenger (peace be upon him) said:

من اغاث ملهو فا كتب الله ثلاثا وثبعين مغفرة وَّاحدة فيها صلاح امره كله واثنتان وسبعون له درجات يوم القيامة –

‘Whoever does justice to a distressed person, Allah records seventy-three rewards for him. One of these rewards is the assurance of the welfare of all his affairs, while the remaining seventy-two rewards will raise his rank on the Day of Resurrection.’ (Bayhaqi)

Interceding on behalf of a person in need is also one of the foremost ways of offering help. The Qur’an praises just and beneficial intercession, saying:

من يشفع شفاعة حسنة يكن لَّه نصيب منها –

‘Whoever intercedes for a good cause will have a share in its reward.’ (Surah al-Nisa 85)

Whenever someone came to the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) with a need, he would say to the Companions:

قال اشفعوا فلتؤ جروا –

‘Intercede for him and share in the reward.’

Once, while discussing the matter with Hazrat Abu Dharr al-Ghifari (may Allah be pleased with him), the Noble Prophet made the various levels and methods of assistance very clear. He (al-Ghifari) said: ‘Tell me about deeds along with iman.’ The Messenger (peace be upon him) said: ‘Give to others from the sustenance Allah has given you.’ He asked: ‘O Messenger of Allah, what if that person is poor himself?’ He said: ‘Do good through your tongue.’ He asked again: ‘What if his tongue is incapable?’ He said: ‘Help the weak.’ He asked: ‘What if he himself is weak and lacks the strength to help?’ He said: ‘Perform the work of one who cannot do it himself.’ He asked again: ‘What if he himself is utterly incapable?’ He said: ‘Refrain from causing people distress.’

Here, it is also necessary to repeat that Hadith:

‘Whoever fulfills the religious and worldly need of one of my ummah in order to make him happy has made me happy; whoever makes me happy has made Allah happy, and whoever makes Allah happy, Allah will admit him into Paradise.’

In this connection, a wonderful narration from Hazrat Abdullah ibn Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) has been reported. The narration is as follows: Once, a man came to the Messenger (peace be upon him) and asked: Who among people is most beloved to Allah? The Messenger (peace be upon him) said:

احبَّ الناس الى الله انفعهم للنَّاس- احبَّ الاعمال الى الله عزَّ وجلَّ سرور تدخله تكشف عنه كربة او تقضى عنه دينا او تطرد عنه جوعا وان تمشى مع اخ فى حاجة احبَّ الىَّ من ان اعتكف فى هذا المسجد شهرًا ومن كظم غيظه ولو شاء ان يمضيه امضاه ملائه الله قلبه يوم القيامة رضاه ومن مَّشى مع اخيه فى حاجة حتى يقضيهاله ثبَّت الله قدميه يوم تزول الاقدام –

‘Among people, the one most beloved to Allah is the one who benefits people most. And among deeds, the deed most beloved to Allah, the Mighty and Majestic, is that you remove a Muslim’s hardship, repay his debt, or relieve his hunger and make him happy. Know that walking with a brother to fulfill his need is more beloved to me than observing i‘tikaf in this mosque for a month. Whoever restrains his anger—although he could have acted upon it if he wished—Allah will fill his heart with His pleasure on the Day of Resurrection. And whoever walks with his brother to fulfill his need and fulfills it, Allah will make his feet steadfast on the day when feet will tremble—that is, on the Day of Resurrection.’

2. Sharing in Sorrow and Suffering

The basis of helping one’s brother, fulfilling his needs, and treating him well is that one person’s sorrow and pain should become the other’s sorrow and pain. If one person feels distress, the other should feel it with the same intensity. Just as one part of the body shares in the pain of all its other limbs and organs, one Muslim should share in the sorrow and suffering of another Muslim.

The Noble Messenger clarified this matter with several examples. He said:

ترى المؤمنين فى تراحمهم وتوادَّهم وتعاطفهم كمثل الجسد اذا اشتكى عضوا تداعى له سائر الجسد بالسهر والحمَّى –

‘You will see the believers in their mutual compassion, affection, love, and feeling of one another’s suffering as one body: when one limb suffers, the whole body responds to it with fever and sleeplessness.’ (Bukhari and Muslim—Nu‘man ibn Bashir, may Allah be pleased with him)

Similarly, in one narration, while explaining this, he said that in society the position of a believer is like that of the head in the whole body. Just as the whole body feels pain when the head aches, all believers continue to feel pain when one believer suffers. The Messenger (peace be upon him) gave a direct example and said:

المؤمن للمؤمن كالبنيان يشدُّ بعضه بعضا ثم شبك بين اصابعه –

‘One Muslim should be like a building to another Muslim, and they should be a source of firmness and strength to one another, just as one brick of a building is to another.’ Then the Messenger (peace be upon him) interlaced the fingers of one hand with those of the other. (Bukhari and Muslim—Abu Musa, may Allah be pleased with him)

3. Criticism and Counsel

It is a Muslim’s duty to keep watch over his brother’s conduct and, if he sees him deviating from the right path, to try to reform him through advice. This is a particular duty of one Muslim toward another. Of course, fulfilling this duty often becomes unpleasant. Nevertheless, it is undeniable that if a person is fully conscious of true success in the Hereafter and of mutual assistance in attaining that success, and is also aware that criticism in this world is preferable to being questioned in the Hereafter, then he will certainly be grateful to his own brother for giving him an opportunity for correction during his worldly life. Moreover, if the critic and questioner observe the necessary conditions in this regard and perform this task with love, sincerity, and devotion, then this gratitude will advance further and enrich and strengthen mutual love, friendship, and affection. This is because the critic will appear to be a compassionate person. In the hadith in which the Noble Prophet (peace be upon him) advised criticism, he clarified the whole matter through an example. He said:

انَّ احدكم مراة اخيه فان راى به اذًى فليمت عنه –

‘Each of you is a mirror for his brother. Therefore, if anyone sees something bad in his brother, he should remove it.’ (Tirmidhi—Abu Hurairah, may Allah be pleased with him)

Abu Dawud’s narration on this subject is as follows:

المؤمن مرأة المؤمن والمؤمن اخوُّ المؤمن يكفُّ ضيعته او يحوطه من وَّرائه –

‘A believer is a mirror for another believer, and a believer is the brother of another believer; he protects his rights in his absence.’

In light of this example, the following principles may be laid down for criticism and counsel:

1. One should not search for faults or go looking for defects. A mirror never searches for faults; only when a person stands before it does it reveal his face.

2. One must not criticize from behind someone’s back. For a mirror that is not face-to-face reveals no one’s form.

3. There should be no exaggeration in criticism. A mirror portrays the real face without adding or subtracting anything.

4. Criticism should be impartial and entirely free from self-interest and ulterior motives, because a mirror bears no enmity toward the person whose face it reflects.

5. After giving the advice, one should not continue to dwell on it, for once a person moves away from it, a mirror does not retain anyone’s form. In other words, one should not go around recounting another person’s faults.

6. Most important of all, the utmost devotion, sincerity, sympathy, and love must be active within it, so that the resentment naturally arising in anyone’s heart upon hearing criticism vanishes as soon as he understands the critic’s attitude. That is why the hadith says مرأة المسلم together with اخوُّ المسلم and also says this. In fact, such sympathy and compassion can arise only when a person feels that his brother’s faults are destructive to him, and does not consider himself greater than his brother but rather regards himself as more sinful and more guilty.

4. Visiting One Another

One of the foremost and fundamental demands of love is that a person repeatedly visit and meet the one he loves, keep his company, and sit with him and converse. Even a beginner in the study of human psychology knows that these things are not merely fundamental demands of love; they are also among the most effective means of developing it and strengthening the sincere bond between people. Love demands that whenever a person gets the opportunity, he should meet his brother. Such visits naturally increase mutual love, and thus an unending stream begins. If, when visiting, the previously mentioned principles of the Shariah are kept in mind and attention is also paid to the matters that follow, it is impossible for the meeting of two Muslims not to help improve their relationship and bring the two brothers closer. That is why we find that the Noble Prophet (peace be upon him) gave this matter special importance in mutual love, instructed people regarding it, and described its immense virtues. In one hadith he said: ‘Good companionship is better than solitude.’ (Bayhaqi—as narrated by Abu Dharr, may Allah be pleased with him)

Once he addressed Hazrat Abu Zarain and said:

هل شعرت انَّ الرجل اذا خرج من بيته زئرًا اخيه شيَّعه سبعون الف ملك كلُّهم يصلُّون عليه ويقلون ربَّنا انَّه وصل فيك فصيله فان استطعت ان تعمل جسدك فى ذالك فافعل –

‘Do you know that when a Muslim leaves his home to visit his brother, seventy thousand angels accompany him, praying for him and saying, “Our Lord, this man is going to meet someone for Your sake, so unite him with You.” If it is possible for you to undertake this act with your own person, then do so.’ (Bayhaqi—Abu Zarain, may Allah be pleased with him)

In a hadith, the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) shed very beautiful light on this visiting:

قال انَّ رجلا زار اخالَّه فى قرية اخرى فارصد الله له على مدرجته ملكا فلما اتى عليه قال: اين تريد ؟ قال اريد اخالّى فى هذه القرية – قال هل لَّك عليه من نعمة تربُّها قال لا غير انِّى احببته فى الله قال فانِّى رسول الله اليك بانَّ الله قد احبَّك كما احببته فيه –

‘A man set out to visit a brother of his in another village. Allah appointed an angel along his route. When the angel came to him, he asked, “Where are you going?” He replied, “I am going to visit my brother in this village.” The angel again asked, “Do you have some favor owed to you by him that you are going to collect?” He replied, “No, I love him only for Allah’s sake; there is no other reason.” The angel said, “Allah has sent me to you with the glad tidings that He loves you just as you love your companion for His sake.” (Muslim—Abu Hurairah, may Allah be pleased with him)

A man expressed his love for Hazrat Mu‘adh ibn Jabal (may Allah be pleased with him) and said, ‘I love you for Allah’s sake.’ He conveyed to him the following glad tidings from the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him): ‘Allah Most High says that My love is assured for those who sit together for My sake, visit one another for My sake, and spend money on one another for My sake.’

The Noble Prophet (peace be upon him) also gave the following glad tidings concerning the reward in the Hereafter for mutual love and visiting one another for Allah’s sake:

انَّ فى الجنة لعمدا مِّن ياقوت عليها غرف مِّن زبرجدٍ لَّها ابواب مُّفتَّحة منه تضئ كما يضئ الكوكب الدَّرِّىُّ فقالوا يا رسول الله من يَّسكنها قال المتحابُّون فى الله والمتجالسون فى الله والمتلاقون فى الله –

‘In Paradise there are pillars of ruby, and upon them are chambers of emerald, whose doors are open and which shine like glittering stars. The Companions asked, “O Messenger of Allah, who will dwell there?” He replied, “Those who love one another for Allah’s sake, sit together for Allah’s sake, and visit one another for Allah’s sake.”’ (Bayhaqi—Abu Hurairah, may Allah be pleased with him)

The great emphasis on mutual love and visiting, and the glad tidings of such a great reward for it, are not only because it is an inevitable demand of love or because it develops and increases love. Another reason is that a person needs the company of close friends in order to remain established on the right path. Such companionship is possible only through meetings and conversation. There is also another reason: people generally meet one another, but if a person visits his brother with full hope of reward and recompense and remembers Allah during the visit, then that visit can play a tremendous role in shaping and developing his life and character.

In view of the hadiths and proofs mentioned above, we may say that a believer should try to visit and meet another believer as much as possible. This will not only improve their mutual relationship; he will also become deserving of the prayers for forgiveness of seventy thousand angels and of Allah’s love. Moreover, if the hadiths and instructions mentioned above are kept in mind during these visits, the feeling of visiting for Allah’s sake will never be lost from the heart.

5. Caring for the Sick Brother (عيادت )

A special form of this visiting is going to care for one’s sick brother. This has been described as a particular duty of one Muslim brother toward another. A sick person, by the demands of his physical and psychological condition, becomes dependent on the service, care, and sympathy of others. If a brother can fulfill these two needs at such a time, it affects his heart and mind so deeply that it can greatly assist the stability and development of their mutual relationship.

Generally, caring for someone means inquiring about the sick person’s condition. In reality, however, this inquiry is only its minimum meaning. Otherwise, expressing sympathy, offering consolation, providing care, arranging medicine and diet, and so forth also fall within its scope. Even if we assume that caring means only inquiring about the patient, then, given the great emphasis and immense reward attached to such an inquiry, we should certainly consider the status of expressing sympathy, offering consolation, praying for recovery, and providing care.

In each of the well-known hadiths concerning one Muslim’s duties toward another Muslim, in which five, six, or seven matters are mentioned, caring for the sick is emphasized as one particular duty.

واذا مرض فعده –

‘When he falls ill, visit him.’ (Muslim—Abu Hurairah, may Allah be pleased with him)

The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) described the duties and rights of a servant in a remarkably beautiful way. Once, while explaining them, he said that these duties and rights are essentially imposed by Allah. On the Day of Resurrection, Allah Himself will make the complaint and question people about them. Thus, regarding caring for the sick, the Noble Prophet (peace be upon him) said that Allah Most High will ask: ‘O son of Adam, I became ill, but you did not visit Me.’ He will say, ‘O my Lord, You are the Lord of all the worlds; how could I visit You?’ Allah will say, ‘Did you not know that My servant had become ill? Yet you did not visit him. Had you visited him, you would have found Me beside him.’ What greater good counsel could there be than that by caring for a sick person, a servant also draws near to his Lord!

Regarding the reward for caring for the sick, the Noble Prophet (peace be upon him) said:

ان المسلم اذا عاد اخاه المسلم لم يزل فى حرفة الجنة حتى يرجع –

‘When a Muslim goes to visit his sick Muslim brother, he continues gathering the fruits of Paradise until he returns.’ (Muslim—Thauban, may Allah be pleased with him)

ما من مسلم يعود مسلما غد وة الا صلىَّ عليه سبعون الف ملك حتى يمسى وان عاده عشيَّة الا صلىَّ عليه سبعون الف ملك حتى يصبح وكان له حريف فى الجنة –

‘When a Muslim visits another sick Muslim in the morning, seventy thousand angels continue praying for him until evening. If he visits in the evening, seventy thousand angels continue praying for him until morning. And he will have a garden of fruits in Paradise.’ (Tirmidhi, Abu Dawud—Ali, may Allah be pleased with him)

من عاد مريضا لَّم بزل يخوض الرحمة حتى يجلس واذا جلس اغتمس فيها –

‘Whoever goes to visit a sick person enters into the ocean of mercy; and when he sits beside the sick person, he is immersed in mercy.’

The Messenger (peace be upon him) also said:

اتمام عيادت المريض انَّ يضع احدكم يده على جبهته او على يده فيساله كيف هو –

‘The complete manner of visiting the sick is for the visitor to place his hand on the patient’s hand or forehead and ask him how he is.’ (Ahmad, Tirmidhi—Abu Uthman, may Allah be pleased with him)

There are also some rules for visiting the sick. The most important are to console the patient, pray for his recovery, and provide care. The Messenger (peace be upon him) instructed this in the following words:

اذا دخلتم على مريض فنفسوا له فى اجله فانَّ ذالك لا يردَّ شيئا ويطيب بنفسه –

‘When you visit a sick person, console him. Although this cannot avert the divine decree, it brings happiness to the patient’s heart.’ (Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah—Abu Sa‘id al-Khudri, may Allah be pleased with him)

When the Messenger himself (peace be upon him) went to visit a sick person, he would place his hand on the patient’s forehead to console him and would say—لا بأس طهور انشاء اللهThen he would ask what particular thing the patient desired. He also told the Companions that when they went to visit a sick person, they should place their hand on his hand or forehead, console him, and pray for his recovery. (Abu Dawud—Sirat al-Nabi, peace be upon him)

However, he prohibited sitting with the patient for too long or making noise.

6. The Expression of Emotion

When love exists in a person’s heart, it naturally seeks a path to express itself. The expression of emotion generally brings two benefits. First, when a person gives his emotions an opportunity for self-expression, they remain fresh and vigorous and continue to develop. If emotion is suppressed in the heart, the shadow of death gradually descends upon it, and its development ceases. It is deprived of vitality and energy and thus slowly begins to descend toward decline. The second benefit of emotion is that it makes mutual relationships stronger and more stable. When a person learns of his brother’s feelings toward him and discovers how deeply his brother’s heart harbors love, affection, brotherhood, and friendship for him, this naturally produces a far-reaching effect on his heart. Respect for the value of his brother’s friendship and love awakens within him. In fact, unless heartfelt emotion is expressed, a firm and stable relationship of friendship and love can never endure between two brothers, despite their holding good feelings toward each other.

If one Muslim brother harbors love for another Muslim, the brother has every right to know of this feeling and inclination. This is so that he may develop an equal feeling in his own heart in response to it and, out of ignorance, may not adopt any course of action contrary or harmful to the love his brother feels for him.

For this reason, for the development of mutual love between two Muslim brothers, it would not be an exaggeration to say that in most cases it is absolutely necessary not to conceal emotion but to allow it to express itself openly, so as to protect the relationship from ruin. The fundamental cause of ruin is often that one person loves his brother and expresses this love in various ways. But if his brother, despite harboring love in his heart, keeps silent like a passive observer, then this expression of love will certainly create suspicion, distrust, and distance in his brother’s heart.

When the hidden love, friendship, and inclination toward harmony in the heart are expressed outwardly, they take many forms. In such a situation, a person’s emotions toward his brother are expressed in every action and step he takes. This expression occurs through actions as well as through speech. In fact, good conduct, fulfilling needs, sincere criticism and efforts at reform, invitations to meals, a cheerful face, a slight smile, embracing, sharing in suffering and hardship, and placing trust in one another regarding personal matters all express this inclination. We have discussed some of these matters; the rest will be discussed later.

The second great effective force in this regard is the tongue. Just as a painful word issuing from the tongue acts like an arrow and becomes difficult to erase, a sweet word has such a profound effect that it is difficult for another person even to estimate it. That is why we have seen that the Messenger of Allah gave the strongest instruction to remain cautious regarding the tongue. Its misuse can bring mutual relationships to the lowest depths of ruin and distortion, while its proper use can raise those relationships to the highest level of love, affection, and friendship. Very few people understand this. Generally, a few words issuing from the tongue, conveying friendship and loving emotion to another person, can bring such satisfaction to the human heart that even great kindness cannot sometimes equal it. Yet there are many people who are miserly even in uttering a good word, an inspiring sentence, or a pleasing expression. In this way, they are deprived not only of the good fortune of bringing immeasurable joy to their brother’s heart (it was stated earlier that whoever makes the heart of a Muslim brother happy makes the Messenger of Allah happy; whoever makes the Messenger of Allah happy makes Allah happy; and whoever makes Allah happy, Allah will admit into Paradise), but sometimes they also hurt their brother’s heart by failing to speak pleasantly. Indeed, at times they do not hesitate to make indiscreet and irresponsible statements. Yet it has been stated regarding this: ‘Whoever hurts the heart of a Muslim has hurt Allah Himself.’

The expression of emotion through the tongue generally means expressions of love, greetings, prayers, gentle and pleasant words, expressions of sympathy, asking after someone’s well-being, and similar things. Keeping this importance of the tongue in mind, the Noble Prophet (peace be upon him) presented the Companions with the following picture of the Day of Resurrection: on that day, blazing fire will surround people, or their deeds and righteous works will remain, and on that day Allah Most High Himself will directly take account. He then instructed: ‘Protect yourself from that dreadful fire, even if only with a piece of a date; and if that is not possible, then at least speak a good word.’

Indeed, after considering all the evidence and proofs and weighing every aspect, we can easily understand what the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) instructed regarding this matter and why he instructed it. Regarding the expression of love, he said:

اذا احبَّ الرَّجل اخاه فليخبره انه يحبه-

‘When a person loves his brother, he should let him know that he loves him.’ (Tirmidhi, Abu Dawud)

Once, a man was passing in front of the Noble Prophet (peace be upon him). One of those present with him said, ‘I love that man for Allah’s sake.’ The Noble Prophet (peace be upon him) asked him:

أعلمته قال لا قال قم فاعلمه فقام اليه فاعلمه فقال احبَّك الذى احببتنى له –

‘Have you informed him of this?’ He said, ‘No.’ He said, ‘Go and inform him that you love him for Allah’s sake.’ The man rose, went to him, and told him. The man replied, ‘May the One for whose pleasure you love me love you.’ (Bayhaqi, Tirmidhi—Anas ibn Malik, may Allah be pleased with him)

Hazrat Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Messenger (peace be upon him) was kissing Hazrat Hasan ibn Ali (may Allah be pleased with him). Al-Aqra‘ ibn Habis (may Allah be pleased with him) was sitting with him. Seeing the Noble Prophet (peace be upon him) kiss him, he said, ‘I have ten sons, yet I have never kissed any of them.’ The Messenger (peace be upon him) looked at him and said, ‘Mercy is not shown to one who has no mercy.’

من لا يرحم لا يرحم –

In another hadith, the statement is expressed as follows: ‘If Allah has deprived your heart of mercy, what can I do?’ (Bukhari and Muslim.)

The best opportunity for expressing emotion is visiting. The importance and necessity of visiting have already been discussed. Let us now see what a visit should be like for the expression of emotion.

7. Visiting with Affection and Cheerfulness

After good conduct, personal visits are the most effective means of strengthening mutual relations. But this requires that, during a visit, one must neither hurt anyone’s feelings through unpleasant speech, joking, ridicule, or the like, nor conduct the visit in such a way that the emotion of love is not expressed through its very manner. We find much guidance on this subject in the noble Hadith. One such method is that, instead of painful and heart-rending behavior such as harshness, severity, contempt, and indifference during a visit, one should display gentleness, civility, courtesy, and pleasant speech. Regarding a gentle person, the Messenger of God (peace be upon him) said:

الا اخبركم بمن يحرم على النَّار وبمن تحرم النّار عليه على كلِّ هيِّن ليِّن قريب سهل –

‘Shall I tell you of a person for whom the fire of Hell is forbidden, and upon whom Hell is forbidden? He is gentle in temperament, gentle in nature, and gentle in speech.’ (Ahmad, Tirmidhi—from Ibn Mas‘ud, may Allah be pleased with him)

Another method is to meet with a cheerful face and smile as soon as one meets someone. The Noble Messenger (peace be upon him) advised both of these things. On one occasion he said:

لا تحفرنَّ من المعروف شيئا ولو ان تلقى اخاك بوجه طليقٍ –

‘Do not regard any good deed as insignificant, even if it consists merely of meeting your brother with a cheerful face.’ (Muslim—from Abu Dharr, may Allah be pleased with him)

Elsewhere it is said: ‘Even smiling when you see your brother is an act of charity.’

One should meet him not with contempt and indifference, but with interest and attention, and should make it clear to the other person that the meeting is taking place out of genuine happiness.

The Companions said of the Noble Prophet (peace be upon him) that whenever he gave someone his attention, he did so with his entire body and mind. Bayhaqi has cited an incident of this kind. It is as follows: Once the Noble Prophet (peace be upon him) was sitting in a gathering in the mosque. Just then a man arrived, and the Noble Prophet (peace be upon him) shifted to make room. The man said, ‘O Messenger of Allah, there is sufficient space.’ He said:

انَّ للمسلم لحقاً اذا راه اخوه انْ يَّتزخزح له-

‘A Muslim’s right is that when his brother sees him, he should make room for him.’ (Bayhaqi—from Wailah ibn Khattab, may Allah be pleased with him)

Hazrat Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) says that when Zayd ibn Harithah (may Allah be pleased with him) came to Madinah and knocked at the door from outside to meet the Messenger of Allah, the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) came outside without properly putting on his cloak, merely dragging it along. By God, I never saw him in such a state either before or after that. Overcome with love, he embraced Zayd around the neck and kissed him. Similarly, when Hazrat Ja‘far al-Tayyar (may Allah be pleased with him) returned from Abyssinia, the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) embraced him and kissed him. When Hazrat Ikrimah (may Allah be pleased with him), son of Abu Jahl, came into his presence, he said, ‘Welcome to the migrant rider.’

8. Greeting

Greeting has been described as a specific means of expressing affection, and it has also been made one of the duties and rights of one Muslim toward another. Through it, affection is expressed on the one hand, and on the other, a prayer and expression of goodwill for one’s brother is conveyed. In the first sermon the Noble Prophet (peace be upon him) delivered after coming to Madinah, he gave instructions concerning four matters. One of them was this:

وافشوا السَّلام بينكم –

‘Spread greetings of peace among yourselves.’ Its greater importance is made clear by the following Hadith:

لا تدخلون الجنَّة حتَّى تؤمنوا ولا تؤمنوا حتّى تحابُّوا الا ادلُّكم على شيئ اذا فعلتموه تحاببتم افشوا السلام بينكم –

‘You will never enter Paradise until you believe, and you will not truly believe until you love one another. Shall I not guide you to something which, if you do it, will make you love one another? Spread greetings of peace among yourselves.’ (Muslim—from Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him)

On another occasion, while specifying six duties and rights of one Muslim toward another, he said:

يسلِّم اذا لقيه –

‘Whenever you meet him, greet him.’ (Nasa’i—from Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him)

In this connection, special encouragement has been given to the person who initiates the greeting and takes precedence in offering it. The Noble Messenger (peace be upon him) said:

‘The one who initiates the greeting is free of arrogance.’

He also said:

انَّ اولى النّاس بالله من بدء السلام –

‘The one who initiates the greeting is among those closest to Allah’s mercy.’ (Ahmad, Abu Dawud—from Abu Uthman, may Allah be pleased with him)

The very demand of love is that a person should step forward, pray for his brother, and thereby express the feelings of his heart. While walking along the road, the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) would always initiate the greeting himself. Whoever he met on the road—women, men, and children alike—he greeted them all. Indeed, he was especially eager to greet children. Regarding the greeting, he said:

اذا لقى احدكم اخاه فليسلِّم عليه فان حالت بينهما شجَّرةٌ او جدارٌ او حجر ثمَّ لقييه فليسلِّم عليه –

‘When any one of you meets his brother, let him greet him. Then, if a tree, wall, stone, or anything else comes between them, and they meet again afterward, let him greet him again.’ (Abu Dawud—from Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him)

He especially advised people to greet the members of their household, and he told Hazrat Anas (may Allah be pleased with him):

يا بنىَّ اذا دخلت على اهلك فسلِّم يكون بركة عليك وعلى اهل بيتك –

‘My son, when you enter your home, greet everyone. This will be a blessing for you and for the members of your household.’ (Tirmidhi—from Anas, may Allah be pleased with him)

Love can increase through greetings only when they are exchanged with the proper feeling, when one brother prays for the peace of the other, and thereby expresses the depth of his love and goodwill. Otherwise, merely uttering a couple of words from the mouth out of habit, as in conventional Islam, cannot possibly increase mutual love; there is no doubt about this.

9. Handshaking

For expressing love and heartfelt emotion when meeting, the second thing the Noble Messenger (peace be upon him) instructed after the greeting was musafahah, or handshaking. Hazrat Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) was asked whether handshaking was customary among the Companions of the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him). He replied, ‘Yes.’

In reality, handshaking is the completion or fulfillment of the greeting. In other words, through it the entire spirit of the greeting reaches completion. The Noble Messenger (peace be upon him) himself described it thus:

تمام تحيّاتكم بينكم المصافحة –

‘Through handshaking, your mutual greetings are completed.’ (Ahmad, Tirmidhi—from Abu Umamah, may Allah be pleased with him)

Regarding handshaking, the Noble Prophet (peace be upon him) also said: ‘Keep shaking hands, for through it hostility is removed.

(تصافحوايذهب الغلَّ) In addition, concerning the reward for handshaking, the Noble Messenger (peace be upon him) gave the following glad tidings:

ما من مسلمين يلتقيان فيصا فحان الاَّ غفرلهما قبل ان يَّتفرَّقا وفى رواية اخرى اذا التقى المسلمان فتصافحا وحمدا الله واستغفرا الله غفرلهما –

‘When two Muslims meet and shake hands, they are forgiven before they part. Another narration says that when two Muslims meet, shake hands, praise Allah, and seek His forgiveness, they are forgiven.’ (Ahmad, Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah—from Bay‘a ibn Gharib, may Allah be pleased with him)

10. Addressing People by Pleasant Names

Everyone familiar with human nature wishes to be addressed by a pleasant name. This is a natural human desire. The more affectionately and emotionally a person is addressed, the more his heart will be influenced by the sincerity and love of the one addressing him. Therefore, one should not be miserly in this regard. Rather, one should try to call one’s brother in such language and manner that one’s loving feelings toward him are fully expressed. In the movement of Sayyid Ahmad Shahid (may Allah have mercy on him), each person addressed those of equal or senior rank by adding the word ‘brother’ to their names, while younger people were addressed simply by their names. In short, the form of address should be such that one’s love is fully expressed and the other person’s heart is pleased. There is no place in a loving and sincere relationship for one person to address his brother in language he dislikes. The entire Hadith concerning pleasant speech applies here. When Hazrat Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) was asked, ‘By what is friendship strengthened?’ he gave a wonderfully fine answer. He said: ‘Address your friend by a pleasant name.’

11. Interest in Personal Matters

One of the demands of sincere love is to take an interest in one’s brother’s personal affairs just as one does in one’s own. When you meet your brother, ask about his personal circumstances and show complete interest in them. In this way, one brother will gain confidence in the other’s sincerity and goodwill, and the feelings in one brother’s heart will become known to the other. As a result, these things will make their relationship more stable. In connection with instructing his Companions to become personally acquainted with one another, the Noble Prophet (peace be upon him) also drew attention to this matter. He said:

اذا اخى الرَّجلُ الرَّجلَ فليسأله عن اسمه واسم ابيه وممَّن هو فانَّه او صل للمودَّة –

‘When one person befriends another, he should ask him his name, his father’s name, and the people among whom he belongs, for this makes the roots of mutual love stronger.’ (Tirmidhi—from Yazid ibn Nu‘amah, may Allah be pleased with him)

A person’s name and the like are part of his personal affairs. Thus, the Hadith under discussion points toward the principle I have presented. Its statement that ‘the roots of love become stronger’ also sheds light on its true significance.

12. Gifts

Giving gifts to express love and sincerity toward one’s brother is extremely effective in stabilizing a relationship. In reality, speaking kind words, calling someone by a pleasant name, expressing love, and the like are gifts of the tongue. Through these, one brother expresses his love and heartfelt feelings toward the other and seeks to draw him closer. Just as these gifts of the tongue delight the heart, establish links between different hearts, and help draw people toward one another, material gifts likewise connect one heart with another, and mutual love thereby increases. In advising people to give gifts, the Noble Prophet (peace be upon him) also explained this benefit: they wash away and cleanse the grime from hearts. He said:

تهادوا تحابُّوا وتذهب شحناؤكم – (او كما قال عليه السلام)

‘Exchange gifts with one another; through them mutual love will increase and distance and hostility in the hearts will disappear.’ (Muwatta Malik, Ata)

The Noble Prophet (peace be upon him) himself repeatedly gave gifts to his companions, and his Companions sent gifts to him and to one another. In this regard, the things we should remember and the guidance we derive from the life of the Prophet (peace be upon him) are as follows:

1. A gift should always be given according to one’s means, and one should not refrain from giving because one cannot offer something valuable or special. In fact, what creates a bond between hearts is not the gift’s price or distinction, but the giver’s sincerity and love.

2. Whatever the gift may be, it should always be accepted with gratitude.

3. One should always try to give a gift in return for a gift. It need not be of equal value; rather, each person should give according to his means. The practice of the Noble Prophet (peace be upon him) was always to try to reciprocate gifts. Once, when a man refused to accept a return gift, he expressed great displeasure.

4. Among gifts, the thing most beloved to the Noble Messenger (peace be upon him) was perfume. In the present day, books may also be placed in this category.

13. Expressing Gratitude

Expressing gratitude is an excellent means of conveying one’s loving feelings and acknowledging another’s love. When a person realizes that his brother properly appreciates the importance and value of the acts performed out of love and at the urging of affection, his sincere love for his brother will increase. Conversely, if a loving person feels that his sincerity and love have no value, his heartfelt feelings will naturally begin to fade. Therefore, when one Muslim helps another Muslim brother, treats him well, speaks a kind word to him, or gives him a gift, it is that Muslim brother’s definite duty to express gratitude to him cheerfully. In this way, he will let him know that he fully appreciates the value of his sincerity and love. The Companions said of the Noble Prophet (peace be upon him) that whenever someone presented something to him, he accepted it with thanks, and whenever someone did something for him, he expressed his gratitude.

14. Eating Together

Sharing meals with one another and inviting others to eat in one’s home are also excellent ways of expressing sincerity and love. This provides not only an opportunity for frank conversation, but when one Muslim invites his brother to eat in his home, the invited person feels that his brother has deep love for him. When such a feeling arises, the mutual relationship will certainly grow stronger. The Companions frequently invited one another and the Noble Prophet (peace be upon him) to meals. Whenever the Noble Prophet (peace be upon him) himself had food, or something came to him from elsewhere, he would include the entire gathering in it. The things mentioned earlier in connection with gifts should also be observed with regard to invitations and eating together. In particular, one should not allow any hesitation concerning invitations; rather, everyone should provide food according to his means, even if it is merely his everyday meal. However, if it is possible to make some special arrangements, this certainly has a favorable effect on the invited person. Whatever is presented, however, it is the invited person’s duty to accept it with satisfaction and gratitude. The final point in this regard is that, as with gifts, one should also try to reciprocate invitations.

It should also be known in this connection that, in the early days, Muslims felt hesitant and embarrassed about eating in the homes of loved ones and relatives. Allah the Exalted removed this hesitation by revealing a verse in the Qur’an, in Surah An-Nur, concerning this matter.

15. Supplication

Supplication is something which, in one respect, incorporates within itself many of the duties and rights we have discussed, and in another respect increases mutual friendship and love. Through supplication, one Muslim asks his Lord for mercy and forgiveness for his brother, prays for his well-being and welfare, and petitions for an improvement in his condition. Clearly, it is the Muslim who holds the conviction that the true key to causation rests in Allah’s hands. In such a situation, when he sees that his brother has raised his hands in prayer before his Lord for him, he is deeply moved and impressed.

Supplication may be made in a person’s absence or face to face. One form of it is the greeting, whose complete form expresses a Muslim’s prayer for peace, mercy, and blessings for his brother. Another duty of one Muslim toward another is that when the latter sneezes and says ‘Al-hamdu lillah,’ he should pray for mercy for him. Performing the funeral prayer for one’s Muslim brother is also a special duty, and this too is a form of supplication. Caring for a sick brother, as described earlier, also includes supplication.

When supplication is made face to face or with the person concerned aware of it, its first benefit is that he wholeheartedly believes in his brother’s sincere goodwill and love. Since the desired goal of both is Allah’s mercy, he sees that his brother not only makes practical efforts for his welfare, but also presents his hopes and aspirations before Allah just as he presents his own. Even while distressed by his own hardships, he raises his hands before his Master, seeks forgiveness for his brother’s faults and sins just as he does for his own, and hopes for Allah’s pleasure and mercy for him just as he does for himself. He also sees that his brother pays such close attention to him that, even when only the brother and his Allah are present in solitude, the brother still remembers him. In such circumstances, love naturally develops in his heart for the brother who prays for him. Thus, all the benefits of expressing heartfelt feelings can be gained through supplication.

Secondly, when the person making supplication tries to include the other person in his prayers, the sincere relationship between them increases further, and purity also enters into their relationship.

Furthermore, along with praying for mercy, forgiveness, the fulfillment of needs, and the removal of difficulties, one has also been advised to pray that one’s brother remain steadfast on the true path and for the sake of their mutual friendship.

اللّهمَّ الِّف بين قلوبنا واصلح ذات بيننا –

‘O Allah, unite our hearts and remove the discord between us.’

In this way, we have also been advised to pray that impurity, rancor, and the like be removed from the heart. For harboring bitterness, discord, or grievances toward one another in the heart is a very serious disease. One should therefore pray humbly for its cure.

ربَّنا اغفرلنا ولاخواننا الَّذ ين سبقونا بالايمان ولا تجعل فى قلوبنا غلاًّ لّلَّذين امنوا ربَّنا انَّك رؤف الرَّحيم –

‘Our Lord, forgive us and our brothers who believed before us, and do not place in our hearts any rancor or hostility toward those who believe. Our Lord, You are Most Kind, Most Merciful.’ (Surah Al-Hashr, 10)

Mentioning one’s brother by name or remembering him in supplication further strengthens the relationship. It is indeed one Muslim’s duty toward another to spontaneously pray for his brother’s mercy, ask Allah for his friendship and love, and petition Him to protect their relationship from corruption and harm. But requesting one another to pray for oneself, and expressing the desire to be included in one another’s prayers, can also help improve mutual relations. By way of example, the Noble Prophet (peace be upon him) said: ‘When you go to care for your sick brother, ask him to pray for you as well, for his prayer is more likely to be accepted.’

Once, when Hazrat Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) set out for Hajj, the Noble Prophet (peace be upon him) said a few words to him. Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) himself said of these words, ‘This is the most beloved thing of my entire life.’ Those words were: ‘Our brother, remember us in your prayers.’

16. Responding Graciously

Every Muslim should try to respond to the sincerity and love of his Muslim brother with even greater sincerity and love. This is because no relationship can develop through one-sided love. Moreover, this reassures the other brother that his love is neither being wasted nor treated disrespectfully. Returning a greeting, giving a gift in return for a gift, replying to kind words with kind words, and carrying out all these things graciously all point to the principle mentioned above. In this connection, the following saying of the Noble Messenger (peace be upon him) should also be remembered:

‘Of two people who love one another, the better is the one who has greater love for his brother.’

If it is not possible to give a better response to one’s brother’s love, one should at least respond in kind; and if one also acknowledges one’s own inability, it will certainly touch the other person’s heart.

17. Reconciliation and Refuting Grievances

After keeping in mind the foundation of the relationship, various shortcomings and weaknesses naturally become apparent in creating within it the emotion of friendship and love and adopting suitable means of protecting it from distortion and harm. No human being can claim that he will never make a mistake in any matter. In particular, since this relationship is formed for the sake of the Islamic revolution, Satan remains extremely active in this matter as well, constantly seeking openings through which to distort the mutual relationship and create cracks in it. If everything previously discussed concerning mutual relations is kept properly in view, and if one follows such principles as not causing one’s brother any physical or mental pain through one’s words or deeds; striving in every possible way to help one’s brother in his religious and worldly needs; expressing one’s sincerity and love fully; expressing greater sincerity and love—or at least sincerity and love of an equal degree—in appreciation of another’s sincerity and love; and continually examining one’s own conduct by this standard, then it will become very difficult for Satan to gain entry into the relationship. Even so, if distortion and wrongdoing are observed within the relationship, every Muslim brother must keep several matters in view. If these matters are kept in view, then even when distortion appears, it can easily be removed. The common basis of distortion in relationships is that one Muslim brother develops a grievance against another in his heart. There may be many causes for the creation of a grievance. However, all the matters discussed in this chapter eliminate every one of those causes. A similarity can be observed in every grievance: when a Muslim is hurt by something his brother says or does, the grievance arises from that. If the matter is serious, this grievance alone is sufficient to distort the relationship. If it is a minor matter, several more similar matters combine to produce an intense feeling. It is essential that the matters discussed in this connection be kept before everyone.

First, one Muslim must not give another Muslim any opportunity to lodge a grievance. He should always strive to ensure that his actions cause no hurt in the heart of another brother.

Second, every Muslim should be broad-hearted in his dealings with his brother. He should keep in view the elevated moral teachings of the Noble Messenger (peace be upon him), and should do his utmost to prevent a grievance from arising against anyone and, if one does arise, to remove it from his heart immediately.

Third, if a grievance arises despite the foregoing effort and it is not possible to forget it, one should not nurse it within one’s heart. Whether the matter is small or great, it should be disclosed immediately to one’s brother. To harbor suspicion and bitterness in one’s heart regarding one’s brother, and to meet him while carrying that bitterness, is a sign of the vilest character. Therefore, without any delay in this matter, one should immediately strive to remove this inner bitterness.

Fourth, the person against whom the grievance is made should not become displeased or wrinkle his nose at this. Rather, gratitude should be expressed to the caring brother who, instead of speaking about him behind his back and betraying him, came forward and presented the grievance, regarded the relationship as extremely valuable, took steps to resolve even a minor complaint, and gave him an opportunity to correct himself.

Fifth, as soon as one learns that one’s brother has a grievance in his heart, one should try to reform oneself. For the more time passes, the more firmly rooted the distortion becomes. Moreover, the sooner the roots of discord are uprooted, the better. If one has genuinely committed a fault, one should acknowledge it openly and express remorse for it. If one has an excuse for the fault, that too should be presented. If there was no fault, but rather a misunderstanding arose, or if there is a reasonable excuse, one should endeavor to remove the misunderstanding. In this regard, the following statement of Jesus (peace be upon him) in the Gospel beautifully sheds light on a Muslim’s duty to fulfill this obligation:

“If you go to present your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has a grievance against you, leave your offering there before the altar, return, and reconcile with your brother; only then may you present your offering.”

A very remarkable point has been made here. If your brother is hostile toward you, it is difficult for you to be a good person and to establish your relationship with your brother upon harmony. In reality, the true purpose of worship is fulfilled only when we are able to please Allah. Therefore, one has been advised to remove one’s brother’s grievance and strive for self-purification before presenting the offering, and not to delay in this matter at all.

Sixth, when a Muslim brother acknowledges a fault, it is one’s duty to forgive him; one should show no reluctance in this regard. If he offers an excuse, it is also one’s duty to regard it as a genuine inability and accept his excuse. Furthermore, if he makes a statement with the aim of removing a misunderstanding, it is one’s duty to believe his words to be true. In this connection, the following saying of the Noble Prophet (peace be upon him) should be remembered:

‘If a person presents an excuse for his fault to a Muslim brother, but does not regard him as excused and does not accept his excuse, he incurs as much sin as a tax collector incurs through the injustice of imposing an unlawful tax.’

To follow these instructions properly, people must deeply appreciate the value of their mutual relationships, maintain in their hearts full respect for brotherhood and the emotion of love between brothers, and fully understand how great a sin the distortion of a relationship is. The first of these matters can be understood very well from the discussion in the first chapter and in the second part of the present chapter. Regarding the second, it has been said that, while explaining the distortion of relationships, the Noble Prophet (peace be upon him) said: ‘This is a razor that shaves away the entire religion of Islam.’ Therefore, whoever believes that success in the Hereafter is the true success will certainly preserve his religion at any cost; and whoever wishes to safeguard his religion will never, to the best of his ability, allow that relationship to become distorted. The warning uttered by the Noble Prophet (peace be upon him) concerning mutual displeasure and severing relations is both gracious and stern. He said:

لا يحلُّ للرَّجل ان يَّهجر اخاه فوق ثلاث ليالٍ يلتقيان فيعرض هذا ويعرض هذا وخيرهما الَّذى يبدأ بالسلام-

‘It is not lawful for a Muslim to abandon his brother for more than three days on account of displeasure. When the two meet, each turns his face away from the other. Of the two, the better is the one who initiates the salām—that is, who begins reconciliation by abandoning resentment.’ (Bukhari and Muslim—from Abu Ayyub al-Ansari, may Allah be pleased with him)

This establishes the superiority of the person who initiates reconciliation. The Noble Prophet (peace be upon him) also stated how these two Muslims are treated in the presence of Allah:

تعرض اعمال النَّاس فى كلِّ جمعة مرَّتين يوم الاثنين ويوم الخميس فيغفر لكلِّ عبدٍ مُّؤمن الاَّ عبدأً بينه وبين اخيه شحناء فيقال اتركوا او اركوا هذين حتى يفيئا –

‘People’s deeds are presented twice each week, on Monday and Thursday, and every believing servant is forgiven, except one who harbors enmity toward his Muslim brother. It is said: Leave these two for a while, until they reconcile with each other.’ (Muslim—from Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him)

Regarding one who abandons his brother for three days, the Messenger (peace be upon him) further said:

لا يحلُّ لمسلم ان يَّهجر اخاه فوق ثلاث فمن هجر فوق ثلاث فمات دخل النَّار-

‘It is not lawful for a Muslim to abandon his brother for more than three days. Whoever remains separated for more than three days and dies during that period will enter Hell.’ (Ahmad and Abu Dawud—from Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him)

He further said:

فمن هجر اخاه سنة فهو كسفك دمه –

‘Whoever abandons his Muslim brother for a year is like one who has shed his blood—that is, he has committed an equivalent degree of sin.’ (Abu Dawud—from Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him)

Of course, a situation may arise in which one party severs relations after trying to achieve reconciliation, or in which, during a dispute, that party is standing upon the truth. In such a situation, in the view of reason and the Shariah, he will bear no sin. Even in such circumstances, however, he has been advised to act with magnanimity, forgive his brother, and, while remaining upon the truth, settle the dispute. In a hadith, while advising the withdrawal from disputes, the Noble Prophet (peace be upon him) said:

من ترك المراء وهو على حقٍّ بنى له بيت فى وسط الجنة ومن حسن خلقه بنى له فى اعلاها-

‘For the one who withdraws from a dispute, a building is constructed for him in the middle of Paradise. And for the one who improves his character, a palace is built for him in its highest place.’ (Tirmidhi—from Anas, may Allah be pleased with him)

Clearly, the highest level of the finest character is forgiveness or pardon. In return for this, a person becomes worthy of a place in the highest level of Paradise.

Along with reconciliation, it is the duty of other Muslim brothers—and of Muslim society in general—to watch over the relationship between the two brothers and to correct it whenever signs of distortion appear. For the stability of mutual relationships depends upon this correction. And this relationship is the life and soul of society. The Qur’an commands this correction in the following words:

انَّما المؤمنون اخوة فاصلحوا بين اخويكم –

“The believers are but brothers. Therefore, make peace between your two brothers.” (Surah al-Hujurat, 10)

Indeed, instructions have also been given to fight against the party that transgresses in this matter.

Once the Noble Messenger (peace be upon him) asked the Companions: ‘Shall I tell you of a deed whose reward, in terms of merit, is greater than that of prayer, fasting, and charity?’ The Companions said: ‘Yes, O Messenger of Allah! Please do.’ He said:

اصلاح ذات البين – وفساد ذات البين الحالقة –

‘Reconciling relations among people; and creating disruption in people’s relationships shaves away the religion itself.’ (Abu Dawud and Tirmidhi)

He further said regarding this, although Islam’s position concerning falsehood is extremely strict:

ليس الكذَّاب الَّذى يصلح بين النَّاس ويقول خيرًا فيمنى خيرًا او يقول خيرًا –

‘The person who brings about reconciliation among people, speaks good words, and conveys good words is not a liar.’ (Bukhari and Muslim—from Umm Kulthum, may Allah be pleased with her)

That is, he conveys from one party to the other such goodwill as was not actually expressed. Of course, where such mediation is needed for reconciliation, one should speak falsely and in such a manner that each party may become confident in the other party’s love and goodwill.

In light of these instructions, if Muslims themselves do not provide opportunities for grievances, continue efforts at reconciliation, and society remains vigilant, it becomes very difficult for Satan to interfere.

18. Seeking Divine Grace

The relationship of friendship, brotherhood, and love is a foundational condition and its inevitable requirement. The more beloved one’s objective is, the deeper the fraternal relationship between one brother and another will be. When one person’s sorrow and hardship become the sorrow and hardship of another, one person’s anxiety becomes the anxiety of another, and one person’s joy becomes the joy of another, the relationship is elevated, in one respect, to its intended meaning. When mercy and goodwill are also combined with this, the relationship attains the highest position in every respect. In reality, such a relationship alone can generate within a jama‘at and a movement the life and spirit of action that guarantees success. Since this immense blessing is attained by adopting all the conditions and processes prescribed by Allah and His Messenger (peace be upon him), Allah’s tawfiq also becomes necessary for it. For this is a special favor from Allah. Therefore, one should humbly supplicate Him to protect this sacred relationship from distortion and disruption and to increase friendship and love within it continually.

ربَّنا اغفرلنا ولاخواننا الَّذ ين سبقون بالايمان ولاتجعل فى قلوبنا غلاًّ للَّذ ين امنوا ربَّنا انَّك رؤف الرَّحيم –

‘Our Lord, forgive us and our brothers who preceded us in faith, and do not place in our hearts any hatred or hostility toward those who believe. Our Lord, surely You are Most Kind, Most Merciful.’ (Surah al-Hashr, 10)

— End —