Dedication

To all those devoted, pure souls who, while fulfilling their most sacred duty on the path to attaining the Creator’s pleasure, embraced martyrdom.

To their sacred blood—which flowed like turbulent waves across the pages of history to awaken future generations to their supreme duty. To those heroic martyrs who, by the command of the Almighty Creator, did not hesitate to sacrifice their most beloved lives in the struggle to establish Islamic ideals; surely they were true servants of the Lord, and they will attain success in the Hereafter. To those people who told their companions: Unite,

Fear Allah, strengthen your faith, and remain among His party. To those brave young men who, while walking the path of truth, were not frightened by hundreds of crises and difficulties. No adverse storm or tempest could slow their indomitable advance. To my husband, who until the final moment of life was my steadfast supporter and helper. Even at the most difficult turning point of life, he never left my side; indeed, as my fellow traveler in pursuit of the same objective, he surrendered his life to the Creator. To those Muslim brothers and sisters in the East and the West who have read my autobiography. I pray that Allah make my effort successful and beneficial and profitable for all. (Amin)

Introduction

After offering endless blessings and peace upon the beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), the liberator of all humanity, I feel the need to offer a few words in the form of an introduction.

I have thought many times of recording the varied events of my life, but since personally I did not consider them particularly important, I could not turn those thoughts into reality. However, when my brothers and sisters and sons and daughters associated with the Islamic Movement repeatedly emphasized the need to record these events as one of the essential religious duties, I could not but agree with them on this matter.

The anti-God forces of falsehood in the East and the West had resolved to eradicate not only the Islamic Movement, but also the leaders who carried the banner of truth and the revolutionary mujahids of Islam, because the activists of the Islamic Movement had announced their decision to implement the Qur’an of Allah and the Sunnah of the Noble Messenger (peace be upon him). They said: The Qur’an of Allah and the Sunnah of the Messenger did not come to remain suspended; they came to be established letter by letter. In reality, through education in the doctrine of Tawhid and the establishment of a true relationship with Allah, the Muslim ummah must be freed from every kind of foolish superstition and custom that prevents it from reaching its full potential as the creation of the Creator. In this way, the dominion of anti-God and tyrannical people will be uprooted from the face of the earth. Human enslavement of human beings will come to an end. Only then will the true form of life, like that of the Companions’ society in the golden age, be re-established in its actual existence.

There is no doubt that the true success and fulfillment of our world and the billions of people living in it depend upon the success of the Islamic Movement.

The diabolical and inhuman torture in the dark cells of prison; the brutality of ruthless executioners and whip-wielders; have further increased the patience, courage, and strength of the bold and devoted workers of the Islamic Movement.

Those who, in ages before us, stood for and followed the path of truth also had to face these hardships and trials. Yet even the mighty forces of their times, like Nimrod and Pharaoh, could not divert them from the path of truth. Compared with that, the punishment and prison torture of the present age are utterly insignificant, indeed!

Arguments can be answered with arguments, opinions with opinions, and discussions through discussion. But the power-blinded forces of falsehood consider it bravery to set a whip in the hand of a madman and unleash him upon the people of truth, rather than use these positive means. It is truly difficult to draw these followers of falsehood, tyrants, oppressors, and self-proclaimed lords out of the debris of confusion and ignorance onto the path of guidance.

There is only one path of truth, and that is the path of Allah, His prophets and messengers, and their followers. The path opposite it is the path of falsehood and vanity. Lying in wait at every step is Satan, the enemy of truth. Satan draws people toward destruction and error with extreme subtlety.

“And this is My straight, simple path. So follow it; and do not follow other paths, lest they cause you to deviate from the straight, simple path.” (The Qur’an) Only by adopting the ideals of Islam—that is, walking in the path of Allah and following the Qur’an and the Sunnah—can today’s humanity be freed from the octopus of confusion.

In the present age, I see indications that success can be achieved by confronting the anti-God forces through the united efforts of the Muslim ummah. I am hopeful that we will soon witness the banner of victory for truth flying above the pyramid of false ideologies. I firmly believe that the nation will properly fulfill its ideological responsibility. For the Muslim nation arose precisely to keep the banner of Tawhid and Risalat raised high.

Of course, I do not believe there is any need to hurry to set a time or yearly limit for the success of the Islamic Movement. In the life of an idealistic nation, this has little importance. What matters, however, is to keep watch on whether we are continuing our campaign toward achieving our goal while remaining safe from error and mistake.

We believe that we are on the path of truth, and those who join our caravan will each add one brick to the Islamic edifice. Another important matter is that no slackening must be allowed in the work of the Movement; its pace must not slow in any sense, and there must be no retreat. We believe that our suffering of prison torture is a historical fact; indeed, this is what those who struggle uncompromisingly against falsehood deserve!

Needless to say, it was in view of all this importance that, out of respect for my brothers’ and sisters’ request, I undertook to record my autobiography. In this work I seek the help of Allah the Pure.

While writing my autobiography, I had to mention repeatedly events whose very imagining makes the soul tremble. In truth, the vileness and mercilessness of the punishments, and the training ground of executioners and punishment specialists, is none other than Jahannam. Those who emerged from the fiery pit of this Jahannam once again proclaimed in ringing voices: O people of the world! Islam is not the name of a lineage or relationship; rather, it is an eternal way of life based on a system and its implementation.

I believe that Allah will help me record the varied events of prison life, and that it will serve as a beacon for the believers. The name of our path is Sirat al-Mustaqim, and it is worth mentioning repeatedly that the name of the ultimate perfection of the messages of truth brought by the prophets and messengers throughout the ages is the Shariah of Muhammad (peace be upon him).

“Whoever wishes, let him believe, and whoever wishes, let him deny.” Those who are prepared to endure hardship and affliction while walking in the path of Allah become united, by Allah’s will, beneath the banner of the Qur’an and the Sunnah.

With this understanding, we joined the Islamic Movement: whatever trial from Allah we may face, we will confront it with a smile. For we know that Allah has purchased the lives and property of the believers in exchange for Paradise. This is because they strive in the path of Allah, even to the point of being martyred on that path. Allah has made this promise through the Torah, the Gospel, and the Qur’an.

Love and reverent salutations to those martyrs who entered Paradise before us. Without doubt, we are travelers on the path of truth. Salutations also to those whose hearts, even if only faintly, still shine with the light of faith. Perhaps Allah the Pure will also bless them with the fortune of guidance. Zainab al-Ghazali

The Translator’s Note

Today, throughout the world, revolutionary cadres of the Islamic Movement are engaged in an uncompromising struggle, having taken a firm oath to lead the millions of deprived and oppressed children of Adam from the brutal oppression, exploitation, and conspiracies of the capitalist imperialist circles of the West and the imperialist red imperialist groups to the golden destination of freedom, peace, and prosperity. Not only in the Muslim world, but even the foundations of the central citadels of the white and red imperialist groups are trembling today under the thunderous voices of these revolutionary young men. They are determined to establish Allah’s religion in Allah’s world and thereby establish the basic rights of all humanity and lasting peace.

In the revolutionary caravan of the Islamic Movement, conscious young fighters advance on one side singing jihad songs, while, alongside them, sisters—fiery daughters radiating the light of truth—come forward, raising the awakening resonance of Tawhidi melodies. One such revolutionary sister is the distinguished leader of Egypt’s renowned women’s Islamic Movement, the respected Zainab al-Ghazali.

When President Nasser, as the stooge of the entrenched vested-interest groups of the Arab world and the pawn of the imperialist circles, was rolling the steamroller of oppression over Egypt’s freedom-seeking people and setting the worst examples of terror and barbarity, Zainab Ghazali was among those men of faith who raised their voices for justice and truth and against falsehood. President Nasser became destabilized in the face of the powerful mass movement led by Zainab Ghazali. Meanwhile, the Soviet government pressured President Nasser to immediately crush this unprecedented movement in Egypt. But Nasser knew of the smoldering anger of the Egyptian people and the movement’s fundamental strength. So at first he laid a trap of conspiracy. He offered Zainab al-Ghazali an important ministerial position and a share in power. But Zainab al-Ghazali rejected these offers and demanded the immediate establishment of an Islamic social system in the country, in accordance with the people’s demand.

When Nasser utterly failed to lure this great leader of the Islamic revolution into his conspiracy, the decision was made to kill her. A dramatic plan was arranged to carry out the decision through a road accident. But by Allah’s mercy, she escaped even certain death. Finally, seeing no other way, President Nasser threw the chairwoman, Zainab Ghazali, behind the iron bars of prison and breathed a sigh of relief. The account of the various horrifying events of that prison life is the subject of this autobiographical work. In view of the incredible popularity the book has achieved throughout the world, we felt the need to place its Bengali translation in the hands of Bengali-speaking brothers and sisters. If Zainab Ghazali’s uncompromising revolutionary character influences the hearts of Bengali-speaking brothers and sisters, we will consider our labor worthwhile.

Chapter One

Jamal Nasser’s Personal Grudge Against Me

On a pleasant afternoon in February 1964, I was returning home in my car. Suddenly another car came from the opposite direction at tremendous speed, struck my car, and immediately overturned it. I was seriously injured in this unprecedented accident and nearly lost consciousness from the intensity of the pain. I was in no condition to make any guess about who was engaged in what activity at the scene or nearby. I did feel, however, as though someone was calling me repeatedly.

When I regained consciousness, I found myself lying in a bed at the police hospital. My beloved husband and close relatives stood on one side, and several influential workers of the Islamic Movement stood on the other. Fear and anxiety were clearly visible on every one of their faces. I thanked Allah that I had survived, and while trying to ask them something about the cause of the accident, I lost consciousness again.

When I regained consciousness again, I saw a woman doctor arriving with her assistants to take me to the X-ray ward. One by one, all the preceding events were returning to my mind. Since I had escaped certain death, my husband was still thanking Allah in a voice choked with devotion. When I asked about my car’s driver, he replied, “The driver is quite well. He is receiving hospital treatment for a minor injury.” I later learned that he had suffered injuries to his head and brain. Meanwhile, according to the X-ray report, my thigh bone was broken. I was therefore sent to Mazhar Ashur Hospital for surgery. There, the renowned surgeon Dr. Muhammad Abdullah performed an operation lasting three and a half hours while I was unconscious and brought me out of danger.

After several perilous days had passed, I learned from a reliable source that the intelligence service of President Jamal Nasser had planned to kill me. Subsequent events proved this even more clearly. Even during those disastrous days of government terror, revolutionary workers of the Islamic Movement came regularly to the hospital to inquire about my condition. Government secret-service personnel were stationed outside the hospital. After learning in detail about the country’s adverse circumstances, and for the greater interests of the people and the Movement, I instructed the workers, through their beloved leader, Brother Abdul Fattah Abduh Ismail, the martyr, not to come to the hospital to see me. But I was astonished to see that the workers were not prepared to submit to pressure from any adverse circumstances. A few days later, the secretary of the government administration arrived at the hospital with an important file to obtain my signature and approval. Needless to say, since I was the chairwoman of the organization, it was natural for him to come to me. But as soon as my husband saw the secretary, he rose, snatched the file from his hand, and took him outside the room. From their conversation it became clear that the secretary had previously once been prevented from meeting me. I did not like the matter. When I asked my husband about it, he simply said, “I am merely following the doctor’s orders.”

Later, the doctor came, examined my injured area, and advised me to refrain from all kinds of work. In passing, he also informed me that the file contained various papers and pieces of information. But he said that they were not permitted to reach me. I immediately objected, saying that these papers were not so dangerous that they should not be delivered to me. In fact, those documents ought to be brought to me for signature. But he refused to give me the file. A few days later, I requested permission to continue some of the organization’s work while sitting in bed. That too was rejected. From all this, my suspicion turned into certainty that some important matter had surely occurred, which they were deliberately trying to hide from me. From some conversations with my husband, my private secretary, and even the general secretary of the executive council of the parliament, it was clear that all of them were trying to keep a particular event secret from me.

What I had feared finally came to pass. The next afternoon, the female secretary of the government secretariat approached me, completely ignoring my husband’s presence. Before revealing the true facts, she advised me to prepare myself mentally to hear anything with patience and courage. Then, without the slightest hesitation, she opened the file before me. I saw that the extremely important matter they had been trying to hide from me was nothing other than the government decree banning our women’s organization.

The government’s female secretary was telling me, in an attempt to console me temporarily, “Naturally, you must be terribly saddened by this.” I asked, “I thank Allah endlessly, but where did the government find any justification or constitutional authority to impose a ban on the women’s organization?” But matters had reached such a point that not even one person was now free to raise this question before the government. “I have tried my utmost at our level, but Jamal Nasser is determined to ban the Islamic Women’s Organization. He is personally furious with you; indeed, even hearing your name from anyone is unbearable to him. If someone accidentally mentions your name, he reacts so adversely that it cannot be described. It is as though your personality and your Movement have deprived him of his peace.” Hearing the government secretary, I said, “Thanks be to Allah that Nasser fears me and the party only because we are pursuing the establishment of an Islamic society for people’s social, economic, and political liberation. The main reason for my displeasure with Nasser is that he is ignoring the people’s Islamic demands and fawning upon foreign imperialist circles. In any case, he will soon realize that it is impossible to silence the Islamic Movement by imposing government bans, killing us, or putting us in prison. The Islamic Movement will continue advancing at its natural pace. No power in the world can withstand this Movement for long. In the face of the indomitable advance of the mujahids of Allah’s religion, these so-called powers are bound to be blown away like straw. Allah has instructed us to undertake constructive and creative work and commanded us to resist destruction and corruption.”

Hearing me, the secretary of the secretariat said very politely, “Honorable Chairwoman! I genuinely hope that the ban on your party will be lifted.” Then, looking around, she said in a slightly lowered voice, “I am afraid a secret microphone may be hidden here. You know, even walls have ears.” This time the secretary of the government secretariat took a paper from a hidden pocket and, carefully watching her surroundings, said: “Honorable Chairwoman! I earnestly request that you please sign this paper. As soon as you sign it, the decision to impose a government ban on your party will be rejected.”

Taking the paper in my hand to read it, I was overcome with anger and astonishment when I saw that it was an application to join the ruling government Socialist Party.

I remained as if turned to stone for several moments. Then, swallowing all my bitterness, I said to Jamal Nasser’s secretary—

Secretary, go and do some honest work if you can find any. Remember this, and tell Nasser: before signing in support of a tyrannical ruler like him, it would be better if my hand burned, scorched, and melted away. Jamal Nasser is engaged in wrongdoing against Allah and Islam. He is an enemy of the people; his disgraced hands are stained, if not with the blood of the people’s leader Abdul Qader Audah, then with that of countless revolutionary Muslims. I would rather accept the dissolution of my party than support a cruel tyrant like him.

Then the secretary of the government secretariat kissed my hand and said—

Mother, can you accept me as your daughter?

Why not? I said.

Then leave that matter aside; rather than that………

No, it is impossible to sign in support of Jamal Nasser’s tyrannical rule in exchange for any greater sacrifice. An alliance between truth and falsehood is inconceivable. You may go, Secretary!

As I gradually recovered, the hospital days came to an end. I returned home.

The Socialist Union and Me

After that, the same female secretary would come to see me at the secretariat almost every day. One day she came and said—

Good news, Madam! The decision to impose a ban on your organization has been suspended.

I was astonished to hear this and asked—

Why is that?

I do not know anything for certain. But it seems possible that the way is being opened for official contact and discussions with you. In this way, the secretary of the government administration continued bringing me various pieces of information, and I continued directing the party’s work and activities from my home. A few days later, when I went to the hospital to have the plaster removed, I received the news of the release of the people’s leader, Mr. Sayyid Qutb. While still in prison, he had learned of my road accident, and immediately after his release he rushed to the hospital to see me.

A few days later, I received a registered card in response to the government’s summons. The card read exactly as follows—

Arab Socialist Union—

Freedom—Socialism—Solidarity—

Name—Zainat al-Ghazali al-Jubaili.

Also known as—Zainat al-Ghazali.

Position/Occupation—Chairwoman of the Islamic Women’s Organization.

Unit—Al-Basayeen, Al-Maza.

Department—New Egypt.

District—Cairo.

Along with this card, another detailed document arrived in the same mail. This document was a certificate concerning Egypt-Soviet relations in 1964.

Thereafter, letters and invitations continued to arrive from the government party. I was also invited to participate in their various meetings and conferences. But I had already decided not to respond to any such correspondence. Meanwhile, having fully recovered, the doctor gave me permission to devote myself entirely to party work.

One day, my personal secretary at the headquarters of the Islamic Women’s Association informed me that someone from the Socialist Union wished to speak with me. I picked up the receiver and said, “As-salamu alaykum.” A reply came from the other end:

: Wa alaykum as-salam.

: Who is speaking? Whom do you want, and why? I demanded answers to all three questions at once.

If you are Muhtarama Zainab Ghazali, then, on behalf of the Socialist Union, I would like to request that you kindly bring the sisters of the Islamic Women’s Association, under your leadership, to the airport to welcome President Jamal Nasser. We would be very pleased.

Seeing that I remained silent, the voice at the other end spoke again—

: At your command, I will send a motorcar, and it will remain available for your use at all times.

: “No, thank you,” I said, and put down the receiver. Two or three days later, another telephone call came from the Socialist Union. This time a lady asked—

Why did you not appear at the airport to welcome the President?

I said, “The workers of our organization are completely free to decide whether or not to go anywhere. Besides, we follow Islamic teachings. It is not possible for us to go anywhere where questions of honor, dignity, and modesty are involved………

It seems that you are not prepared to support us. Very well, you did not come—but did you not order the other women to go to the airport?

: No. I consider it improper for myself, so the question of ordering anyone else to do it does not arise.

: This means that you will not cooperate with us under any circumstances.

: We will, but only in the path of Islam. If you follow the path ordained by Allah, you will have our cooperation at every step; otherwise, the conflict between truth and falsehood will continue.

: Can you come to our office for discussions?

: No, I am still not completely well. However, if it is possible for you, you may come to my poor home. I put down the receiver. About a week after this telephone conversation, a registered letter dated 15/9/1964 was sent to me. It contained a ministerial decision dated 6/2/1964. Its number was 132. Under this decision, the Islamic Women’s Association was banned for the second time, and that news was sent by registered mail.

Not for the Enemies of God

On September 15, 1964, in response to the government’s decision to ban the Islamic Women’s Association, an emergency meeting of the organization was held. The meeting unanimously adopted a resolution refusing to accept the government’s decision and refusing to hand over the organization’s funds to the government or to any particular party. It was decided that another special emergency meeting would be held within twenty-four hours, and the meeting resolved to defy the government’s decision and challenge that illegal decision in court.

To represent the organization in the case, we appointed the renowned lawyers Jawad Abdullah and Rishwan as counsel, and immediately sent detailed accounts of the matter to the President, the Minister of the Interior, the Deputy Minister of the Interior, and the newspapers. In these letters we clearly stated that the principal purpose of the Islamic Women’s Association, founded in 1936, was to propagate and advance Islamic ideals and to unite Muslim women under the Islamic banner for the greater interests of the country and its people. The government or the Ministry of the Interior was not the patron of our organization, entitled to ban it in order to fulfill some unlawful purpose of theirs. We were not obliged to accept any such decision or declaration by the government. Rather, we reiterated our appeal to the government to take immediate steps toward the great objective of implementing, in Allah’s world, the way of life given by Allah. We were prepared to offer our fullest cooperation in this.

But Jamal Nasser had become so intoxicated with power and so frenzied in his opposition to Islam that he was unwilling to regard any justice or truth as worthy of consideration. Because of his hostile attitude toward me, he hastily declared the Islamic organization illegal and also closed the magazine published under my editorship indefinitely. He did not hesitate to use military force in these unlawful acts. They suddenly entered the organization’s headquarters without authorization and seized the office and all its furniture. They even drove out the innocent, poor children from the adjacent orphanage run under the organization’s patronage. They chose a time for the seizure when none of our female officers was present at the headquarters. Only the assistant office secretary was working there. The government usurpers claimed that they had taken control away from her. The next day I issued the following statement for publication in the newspapers.

“The Islamic Women’s Association, founded in 1936, is a constitutional Islamic organization. Its principal purpose is to fully implement Allah’s revealed way of life, Islam, in order to provide sound and lasting solutions to all human problems. In truth, Allah is the sovereign possessor of all power, and Allah alone is our Lord; we consider the tendency to establish personal rule over the people reprehensible.

We unequivocally condemn the government’s decision to impose a ban on the Islamic Women’s Association and refuse to accept it. We also wish to make it perfectly clear that Jamal Nasser, who came from nowhere and imposed himself, has no moral right to rule over the Muslim people. Both his office and his Council of Ministers are illegal.

We further wish to make it clear that the progress of the Islamic movement cannot be impeded through force, oppression, and conspiracy. The Islamic movement will continue even without any office, funds, or furniture. No power in the world can take away our faith or the source of our steadfast inspiration. Our unwavering trust in Allah and His Messenger Muhammad (peace be upon him), and the universal Islamic brotherhood, will keep our progress unstoppable. Unceasing jihad in the path of truth is our course of action. This movement will continue until the great objective of the Islamic revolution is achieved.”

What Shall We Do?

After the government seized the headquarters of the Islamic Women’s Association, various women’s delegations came to me to discuss and seek guidance about the next course of action.

The year 1964 may, in a sense, be called the peak year of the rise of Nasser’s regime. Conditions had reached such a point that even uttering a word against his dictatorship was considered virtually an act of misrule. By then, almost all the major and minor leaders of the renowned Islamic movement, the Muslim Brotherhood, or Ikhwan al-Muslimun, had been arrested on various false or fabricated charges. As a result, no one remained to criticize the government’s anti-people activities. On the other hand, opportunistic and self-seeking politicians were currying favor with Nasser and making the most of the opportunity to advance their interests. Even some religious leaders and certain religious newspapers then considered praising Nasser’s regime relatively beneficial. The famous Arabic newspaper Al-Azhar was also publishing articles that deserved to be regarded as attempts to establish, by supposedly rational standards, the disgraceful role of the oppressive ruling group. And the masked newspapers remained busy showering propaganda on those devoted to the Islamic movement. Even amid such a terrible climate of oppression and terror, the fearless mujahids of the Islamic movement kept the banner of truth aloft. Despite countless persecutions and tortures, their morale did not break; their activities did not slacken in the slightest, nor did the sweet smiles fade from their faces.

Muslim women also played a very important role in this regard. Rather than seek worldly interests, they accepted hardship with smiles on the path to attaining Allah’s pleasure. Overcoming fear, intimidation, obstacles, and difficulties, they regularly came to me with renewed enthusiasm and inspiration. Even in such difficult times, they organized household meetings and general gatherings in their respective areas. At this time we undertook a program to train women speakers. Arrangements were made to send those who had received training throughout the country to promote the movement and organize women. But before long, as a result of the government’s harsh policy of repression, we had to suspend this plan for the time being. Thereafter, the movement became limited to activity at the individual level.

Evasion and Deception

Some time later, several officers of Jamal Nasser’s intelligence service met with me and imposed various proposals and conditions for reviving the Islamic Women’s Association. They offered to return my magazine as well, on certain conditions. They also offered me a monthly allowance of three hundred Egyptian pounds. In exchange for all this, however, they wanted me to withdraw from the Islamic movement.

I said to them—

: In exchange for attaining Allah’s pleasure, I consider all the wealth and power in the world utterly insignificant. I reject all these temptations and conditional proposals of yours.

Despite my unequivocal refusal, the intelligence officers told me again—

“Look, if your organization wishes to enter the field as an auxiliary group of the government party, it will be revived very soon, and your headquarters will also be returned to you, along with a special annual allowance of twenty thousand pounds.”

In reply, I said to them—

“You keep repeating the same misconception. You should know that no temptation or fear can divert us from the path of Islam. We are not among those who do business in religion. Just as we are not misguided ourselves, we cannot even contemplate misleading anyone else. We have no faith in any kind of contrivance or ambiguity. You may leave.” Even after this, they continued presenting various calculated proposals and trying somehow to bring me to a compromise. I was astonished by their ridiculous efforts and assumed that they were rehearsing some new government drama. In fact, it was soon proved that my assumption was correct. All their efforts were merely the backdrop for a subsequent conspiracy.

Owls of the Night

One afternoon, three men arrived at my home and requested an interview with me. I went to the room designated for receiving guests and saw that all three were dressed in Arab clothing. After exchanging greetings, when I asked one of them the purpose of their visit, he said—

“We are Syrian citizens. We have come to Cairo from Saudi Arabia for a short vacation. We have met with the Ikhwan leaders in Saudi Arabia—Saeed Ramadan, Sheikh Mustafa Alam, Kamel Sharif, Muhammad Usmavi, and Fathi Kholi. (It is noteworthy that, worn down by Jamal Nasser’s oppression, these leaders were forced to take exile in Saudi Arabia.) They have sent greetings and good wishes to the Egyptian people and wish the public to remain steadfast in its trust in the movement.”

The three gentlemen then began discussing the Ikhwan and Jamal Nasser among themselves. After much discussion of the oppression Nasser had inflicted on the Ikhwan, the events of 1954, and the martyrdom of Abdul Qader Awda and his companions, they told me that they were prepared to foment a revolt in the country and assassinate Nasser, and that the exiled Ikhwan leaders agreed with them on this matter. They then looked at me questioningly. Until then I had remained silent, merely listening to them. This time I said, “The objective you have described seems entirely new and unfamiliar to me. I know nothing about it and do not wish to know anything about it.”

Hearing this, they said, “Then we will come to you again later to learn the opinion of the General Guide and the party.”

I said, “I know nothing about any secret group of the Ikhwan. Besides, the government has banned the Ikhwan as a political party. I am unable to discuss this matter in any way with the General Guide, because our relationship is based on Islamic brotherhood and familial friendship. In my view, no Muslim is contemplating anything like assassinating Jamal Nasser. Personally, I can offer you no service except to advise you to return to your own country and attain self-purification.”

After I finished speaking, one of them said—

“You are perhaps displeased with us. But tell me, has Nasser not destroyed the country?”

“But assassinating Nasser is not the objective of the Ikhwan.”

I then asked them to tell me their names. All three seemed flustered when giving their names. After some hesitation, one said his name was Abdush-Shafi Abdul Haq, another’s was Abdul Jalil Isa, and the third’s was Abdur Rahman Khalil. Hearing the way they gave their names, and the “Abdu” before each of them, I could no longer conceal my laughter. Understanding what I needed to understand, I said to them—

“My brothers, it would be best for you to return to your homeland quickly, before you are caught and dealt with by Nasser’s intelligence service.”

In reply, one of them said, “Sister Zainab! You certainly have the right to be suspicious of us. But you will soon learn who we are!” Then they left.

Later, when Abdul Fattah Ismail came to visit me, I told him the story of these falsely innocent citizens.

Everyone Is Ahmad Rasekh

Less than two weeks later, a gentleman named Ahmad Rasekh came to see me. Introducing himself, the gentleman said that he was from the intelligence service. After remaining silent for a few moments, he asked what discussion I had had with those three Syrian citizens about two weeks earlier.

I said indifferently—

“As far as I believe, those three gentlemen were not Syrian citizens at all. In fact, they came thinking that I was a fool, intending to make me an even greater fool. I truly cannot understand why the administration is playing these theatrical tricks even after seizing my magazine and headquarters. What exactly is the government’s purpose?” The intelligence gentleman then changed the subject and asked—

: What is your opinion of Jamaluf and Jamalufa?

: They are all misguided atheists. They are highly accomplished in unlawful and illegal activities. The gentleman reacted to my words and said—

: Look, sister, we are Muslims too.

: Merely having a Muslim-sounding name does not make someone a Muslim. Rather, whether a person is Muslim or not is proven by deeds, I said.

“Our hearts are not prepared to respond to the call you are making toward Islam. Nor are we capable of considering your call. So you carry on with your work and let us remain occupied with ours.” As he spoke, the gentleman rose to his feet. I said to him—

: May Allah guide everyone and guide us all along the path of justice and truth.”

Two days after this meeting, a government motorcar came to a stop in the courtyard of my house. A young man wearing a gray suit got out of the car, greeted me, and said—

“I am Ahmad Rasekh, an officer of the intelligence service.” I examined the young man from head to toe, trying to find a resemblance to the Ahmad Rasekh from the Ministry of the Interior who had summoned me there earlier. The name “Ahmad Rasekh” was also written on the nameplate outside his office. Seeing me remain silent, the young officer said—

“A certain Ahmad Rasekh visited you just two days ago. And now a third Ahmad Rasekh is standing before you.”

Hearing him, I tried to examine him even more closely. Three senior officers with the same name in the same department seemed almost like a farce to me. Seeing me silently scrutinizing him, the young officer said awkwardly—

: Why are you silently staring at me with such astonishment? I suppose you are annoyed because I came at an inconvenient time?

I smiled politely, ignored his remark, and said—

: The door of this room is always open to welcome guests. In any case, I think I should tell you an amusing story; listen. It was probably published in the newspaper Al-Ahram. It went like this: “Several years ago, the Queen of Holland and her husband went to London at the invitation of the King of England. One day, during a conversation, it suddenly appeared that the Queen of Holland had left her chair and gone over to a specially trained dog stationed in the reception room, where she gazed intently at it for some time. Then, almost beside herself, she picked up the dog, held it in her lap, and began kissing it. She then handed the dog to her husband and whispered something in his ear. It soon became apparent that her husband too was almost beside himself, kissing the dog. The King and Queen of England watched all this in great astonishment. Their amazement knew no bounds when they saw tears glistening in the Queen of Holland’s eyes as she took the dog back from her husband. She held the dog tightly to her breast just as though it were her own child. A little later, even during the royal banquet, she was seen holding the dog continuously in her lap.”

The Queen of England then drew the honored guest’s attention and said—

“The owner of the dog you are lavishing such affection on is the princess; she loves the dog very much too. Otherwise, we would have been delighted to give the dog to you as a gift.”

The Queen of Holland believed in the doctrine of the transmigration of souls. She said—

“A few years ago, my only son died. I believe that my son’s soul has entered this dog. Just look—the dog’s two eyes are exactly like my son’s eyes.”

On hearing this, the Queen of England persuaded the princess to agree to give the dog as a gift to the royal couple of Holland. Needless to say, the princess gave the dog to the King and Queen of Holland. After telling the story, I said to the young man—

: Now, Mr. Rasekh, those who believe in the transmigration of souls see traces of their deceased loved ones in one animal or another. But I am astonished to find that each of the three men from the Egyptian intelligence service whom I have met is indeed named Ahmad Rasekh! Yet there is not the slightest resemblance in their bodies, faces, or complexion, nor even any similarity in their mannerisms. Has your President discovered some new theory concerning the transmigration of souls? Perhaps you are being told to follow this new theory of yours; what do you say—is that what this is about? As he listened to me, the color seemed to drain from his face. Trying to recover his composure, he said—

: Look, Madam! We are not some worthless people. We too are sons of respectable families. We do not intend to cause you pain. We are only trying to reach an understanding with you. In fact, I am the real Ahmad Rasekh.

: But on what grounds am I to believe that you are the real one and the others are impostors? Besides, what do I need any of that for? Can you clearly tell me what you want from me?

:The matter is that the government is eager to reach an understanding with you. We believe that the Ikhwan al-Muslimun is misleading you. They are people who believe in anarchy. Therefore, the only hardship we wish to impose on you is this: simply provide us with the names of the active members of the Ikhwan. In return, the President himself will take responsibility for your security, and all your needs will be met. We hope that within the next few days you will give us a list of the Ikhwani terrorists’ names. We are astonished that a universally respected and intelligent leader like you could have fallen victim to the Ikhwanis’ conspiracy!

He continued:

“Major Ikhwan leaders such as Imam Hudaybi and Sayyid Qutb are now trying to reach an understanding with the President. But because the President is not pleased with them, he is not responding to their overtures. In fact, if you knew about the propaganda the Ikhwan al-Muslimun is spreading about you, you would immediately come to an understanding with us and sever all relations with the Ikhwan at once.”

Instead of expressing irritation at the false statements and baseless talk of this young intelligence officer, I simply laughed and said:

:My son, I feel no need to verify who or what you are in the intelligence service, or to examine your words, name, face, or complexion. I hope this much of a statement from me is sufficient for you. Still, considering you a young man, I feel I should tell you one more thing. Learn and understand the Islamic ideal properly, and try to follow it. Do not run blindly after any borrowed ism or ideology from the West or the East. Why, is it impossible for you to distinguish truth from falsehood? Why, then, do you proclaim the slogans of socialism while being Muslims? And why do you ruin your own life by dancing to the signals of foreign powers? I am waiting for the day when young men like you, freed from the whirlpool of doubt and crisis, will unite beneath the banner of Islam.”

To prove that he was a good Muslim, he told me:

:Madam, by Allah, I regularly perform the Jumu‘ah prayer. Besides that, the other prayers and obligatory duties and so on……… My father used to take me to the Jumu‘ah prayer from childhood, so I became accustomed to it.

:Have you ever asked your father why he performs only the Jumu‘ah prayer?

:Tell me, is saying La ilaha illallah, Muhammadur Rasulullah not enough to make one a Muslim?

:But if you do not live according to the declaration of this kalimah, it will produce the opposite result. After reciting the kalimah, do your Islamic responsibilities not increase further?

:One ought to follow and obey the rulers.

:Very well, then be prepared to stand in line alongside those poor rulers on the Day of Resurrection.

:I had come to you with a proposal for an understanding.

:But know this: there has never been, nor will there ever be, any compromise between the true teachings of the prophets and messengers and satanic falsehood. We are determined to remain steadfast on the path of Islam; there can be no question of compromise with falsehood. Until you and your government become followers of the true religion, the conflict between us and you will continue.

Hearing this, the young intelligence officer said angrily:

:I will never come to you again. If you wish to contact me, here is my telephone number……… I laughed and said:

:Thank you; I will never need it.

Toward the end of July 1965, news of the mass arrests of Ikhwan leaders deeply distressed me. For I had an extremely deep and longstanding relationship with the great movement of the Ikhwan.

Chapter Two

The Oath of Allegiance

As I said earlier, my relationship with the Ikhwan al-Muslimun was both deep and longstanding. Yet government officials thought that my relationship with the Ikhwan had only just begun. In fact, I had been associated with the Ikhwan since 1937. The Islamic Women’s Association was founded in 1358 AH. About six months later, I met Imam Hasan al-Banna for the first time. Immediately after he delivered a speech at a gathering arranged for women at the Ikhwan headquarters, Imam al-Banna granted me an audience. At that time, he wanted to establish the women’s section of the Ikhwan. During our discussion, he emphasized the united role of Muslims at every level. Thereafter, I agreed with almost every proposal and opinion of his. Finally, he invited me to assume responsibility as president of the Ikhwan’s women’s section. In fact, this women’s group was a branch of the Ikhwan. I discussed Imam al-Banna’s proposal with the women leaders of my organization. Every one of them accepted the proposal for the united role of both groups on a broader scale and mutual assistance and cooperation in every field; but they rejected the proposal that I join the Ikhwan as president of one of its affiliated branches. Nevertheless, our regular meetings and discussions continued. Every one of us gave Imam Hasan al-Banna’s views the greatest consideration and sincerely respected and loved the Imam.

In the end, we remained separate groups. But our relationship grew stronger day by day. At the final meeting held at the organization’s central office, I swore to Imam al-Banna that, despite maintaining my group’s separate identity, it would answer every call of the Ikhwan and continue working shoulder to shoulder with it to achieve the same objective.

But Imam al-Banna was not completely satisfied with this. He wanted me to devote myself to leading the Ikhwan’s women’s branch.

In any case, circumstances soon began to change rapidly. After the incident in 1948, the Ikhwan al-Muslimun was suddenly banned and all the Ikhwan’s funds were confiscated. All the Ikhwan offices were locked, and Ikhwan leaders and workers were recklessly arrested and imprisoned. During this unexpected and sudden crisis, the women workers of the Islamic movement played an extremely courageous and fearless role. Through my sister-in-law and cousin, Tahia Jubaily, I gathered the necessary information, and soon realized that I should have fully accepted Imam al-Banna’s proposal. I regretted not having accepted the Imam’s proposal.

The very day after the Ikhwan was declared banned, I went to my assigned room at the organization’s central office. This was the room where I had spoken with Imam al-Banna. Even then, I seemed to feel the revered Banna’s great presence in the room! My heart was burning with grief and remorse. Hot streams of tears rolled continuously down my cheeks. I kept talking to myself:

“Imam al-Banna was truly devoted to the truth. It is the duty of every Muslim to follow the Imam and advance along the path of truth, flying the banner of jihad. There is no alternative path to freedom and peace apart from the path to which the Imam called people for the establishment of human rights. Only wise, farsighted, and fearless leadership like that of Hasan al-Banna can bring the Muslim ummah to its cherished destination.”

Immediately afterward, I sent my private secretary to summon Brother Abdul Hafiz al-Saifi. Through him I exchanged unwritten information with Imam al-Banna. Through him, I reminded the Imam of our meeting for discussion according to the previously arranged program. When Brother Abdul Hafiz returned after informing the Imam and obtaining his consent, I sent the following brief letter to Imam al-Banna through my brother Muhammad al-Ghazali and his wife:

“Respected Imam Hasan al-Banna!

I am eager to appear before you, abandoning all other activities of my life, in order to attain Allah’s pleasure and serve Islam. You are the only person whose guidance and patronage I earnestly desire. Whatever instruction you give me for the service of Allah’s religion, carrying it out to the letter will be the greatest mission of my life! Respected Imam! Awaiting your instructions impatiently—Allah’s servant.” —Zaynab al-Ghazali.

The central office of the Muslim Youth Association was then designated as a suitable place for an immediate meeting with Imam al-Banna. But no time or date was set for the meeting. It was decided that we would meet unexpectedly when an opportunity arose.

One day I was going to deliver a speech at a conference held at the central office of the Muslim Youth Association when, suddenly, I saw the honorable Imam at the foot of the stairs. I was extremely astonished by his simple and unceremonious appearance and became overwhelmed with emotion and joy. Before sitting down for a formal meeting, I began speaking with respected Imam al-Banna as I climbed the stairs.

First of all, I said to him:

“Respected Imam! My murshid. I swear by Allah that I am prepared to cooperate fully with the noble effort you are undertaking to establish an Islamic social order and an Islamic government, and that I will not hesitate to make any sacrifice on this path, even to give my life. I pledge to obey your commands and prohibitions with all my heart.” The Imam expressed great joy at my words and pledge. He said, “For the time being, let the Islamic Women’s Association continue working as it has been.”

My brother was assigned responsibility for maintaining communication between Imam al-Banna and me. Imam al-Banna entrusted me with mediating between Nuhas and the Ikhwan. At that time, Raf‘at and Mustafa Pasha al-Nuhas were abroad. They assigned the late Amin Khalili responsibility for the campaign to dispel misunderstandings. Imam al-Banna also agreed on this matter. I too was assigned responsibility for maintaining communication.

One night in February 1949, Mr. Amin Khalili came to me. The signs of anxiety were clear on his face. He said, “The authorities are planning to assassinate Imam al-Banna. Arrangements must be made to get him out of Cairo soon.”

But since my brother had already been arrested, there was no one through whom I could communicate directly with the Imam. As a result, I set out myself to meet him. But misfortune! The misfortune of me, my nation, and all humanity was that halfway there I received news of the respected Imam’s tragic martyrdom. The enemies of humanity brutally murdered the century’s great revolutionary hero. The entire nation was overwhelmed with anger and grief at this most brutal murder. Intense hatred for the killers was expressed everywhere. I openly condemned the government’s most barbaric murder and expressed my heartfelt indignation. A coalition government was then formed in the country, and the new government immediately declared the Islamic Women’s Association illegal.

I challenged the government’s declaration and filed a case in court. In 1950, during the tenure of Mr. Hussein Sirri Pasha, the court ruled in our favor, and the activities of the Islamic Women’s Association resumed in full force. The renowned jurist Mr. Abdul Fattah Hasan Pasha was our counsel in this historic case.

The Wafd Party government was then formed, and the Ikhwan al-Muslimun resumed its activities under the leadership of Imam Hasan Hudaybi. On the very first day the Ikhwan al-Muslimun’s central office was inaugurated, I publicly declared my comprehensive relationship with the Ikhwan and dedicated the largest and most beautifully furnished hall in my house for use as Mr. Hudaybi’s private office as the Murshid al-‘Am.

Brother Abdul Qadir Awda of the Ikhwan personally came to thank me for this and said:

“Your public declaration concerning the establishment of a direct relationship with the Ikhwan al-Muslimun is truly commendable and a source of great joy for us. Indeed, we must call it our great good fortune.”

I humbly said, “Endless thanks to Allah for what has happened.” Needless to say, I was continuing to work with the Ikhwan in a highly satisfactory manner. In the meantime, a military revolution took place under the leadership of General Naguib. A few days before the revolution, General Naguib, along with Amir Abdullah Faisal, met with me. The Ikhwan and the Women’s Association had some sympathy for this revolution.

But within a few days, inconsistencies became apparent between the revolutionary government’s declarations of its promises and its actions. I expressed my views on this while discussing the matter with the Ikhwan leaders. Later, when the Naguib government proposed that several members of the Ikhwan participate in power as ministers, I opposed the proposal through my newspaper, saying: “Since it is becoming clear that the revolutionary government is not sincerely committed to the Islamic way of life, no member of the Ikhwan can even consider forming an alliance with such a government or serving under it. If anyone does so, he should be expelled from the Ikhwan. In fact, until the revolutionary government’s true purpose becomes clear, the Ikhwan must remain steadfast in its position and principles.”

After my statement was published in the newspaper, Mr. Abdul Qadir Awda met with me and requested that I suspend publication of such statements for the time being. I wrote nothing about the matter in the next two issues. But later I began writing again. This time Mr. Abdul Qadir Awda brought a written directive from Mr. Hudaybi prohibiting me from writing about the matter. Needless to say, I obeyed this directive. It was impossible to disobey the leader’s instructions. During this period, I acted in every matter according to Imam Hudaybi’s commands and prohibitions. I even participated in the peace conference with his permission.

The Mask Revealed

Time was passing at its appointed pace against the backdrop of the age. At last, the dreadful events of 1945 darkened the country’s horizon. Jamal Abdel Nasser removed his mask and revealed his true, satanic nature. He openly began opposing Islam and vowed to silence the Islamic movement. Foreign powers and their local agents assured him of their full cooperation in this regard. Without delay, Nasser issued the vile order to hang the leaders of the Islamic movement.

Internationally renowned leaders such as the great hero of the struggle for independence, Mr. Abdul Qadir Awda, and Sheikh Muhammad Farghali were hanged solely because they had demanded the establishment of an Islamic social order for the country’s overall development and the people’s freedom and prosperity. Nasser ordered the hanging of the universally respected elderly leader Imam Hudaybi as well. But because he had suddenly suffered a heart attack, doctors declared him unfit to be hanged. They also said that the old man would not live more than a few hours in any case, so there would be no need to hang him. Thinking the same way, Jamal Nasser commuted Mr. Hudaybi’s death sentence.

But who can kill one whom Allah preserves? Imam Hudaybi soon recovered and, disregarding Nasser’s oppression, torture, and threatening glare, continued to lead the Islamic movement with twice the enthusiasm and energy. When the Islamic movement grew stronger under his fearless actions and strong leadership, the government, enraged, arrested him and threw him into a military prison. The inhuman torture inflicted on him there would force even the eyes of the most hardened criminal to fill with tears. But Imam Hudaybi endured every torment, embodying the utmost patience and forbearance.

In the end, this elderly leader lived to see Nasser and his associates die and fall. When many people, worn down by the indescribable oppression during President Nasser’s dictatorship, came to Imam Hudaybi asking permission to remain quietly inactive for the time being, the elderly Imam Hudaybi, showing the enthusiasm of a young revolutionary, said:

“I have no time to think about who among you wants to remain active and who wants to adopt inactivity. But I want to remind you of one thing: open the pages of history and see that those who sought a safe refuge in times of danger were never able to serve the Islamic movement. There is no place in the Islamic movement for cowards, the timid, or opportunists.” He said these words while suffering imprisonment and torture; he was then eighty years old. After the notorious Nasser’s death, he was the last of all to be released from prison.

The Call to Fulfill Our Responsibility

In 1955, thousands of workers in the Islamic movement attained martyrdom, victims of the unspeakable torture and indiscriminate death sentences imposed by the dictatorial government. Seeing the tragic condition of the innocent children and widows of the martyred brothers, I became profoundly distressed. The heart-rending cries, indescribable misery, and destitute helplessness of these orphans and widows filled me with deep sorrow. I renewed my pledge to rehabilitate them properly and to advance with twice the enthusiasm along the path soaked in the martyrs’ blood. I decided to enter into direct confrontation with the government.

When I resumed my work, I saw that people throughout the country were distressed by poverty, scarcity, and hunger. Lacking even two handfuls of food to survive and a piece of cloth to cover their shame, millions of human beings were desperately roaming the path of unlawful earnings. Hunger had devastated people’s character and morality.

Student unrest in the colleges and universities and labor unrest in the factories were increasing geometrically. Taking advantage of the situation, entrenched vested-interest groups, owners, and merchants were implementing ever-new schemes to exploit the public.

Meanwhile, those who emerged after being released from long imprisonment faced a situation even more frightening than the prison itself. Not a single avenue of livelihood was open to them. Yet ordinary people still did not dare to raise their voices about their rights. Everyone was terrified that the government would not hesitate to issue a death warrant on any fabricated charge at the slightest utterance. In particular, severe punishment was certain for anyone who spoke about Islam and Muslim identity.

In such dark and terrible times, all our efforts seemed utterly insignificant. I could not think what to do. It was as though an endless wave of problems was flowing across a turbulent ocean, blocking our path. When no way to freedom could be seen, I sought guidance from the eminent professor of Al-Azhar University, Sheikh Muhammad al-Udan. Because of his wisdom and thought, and because of my relationship with Imam al-Banna, he was fully sympathetic to the movement. I exchanged views with him on important matters both before and after Imam al-Banna’s martyrdom.

I presented Professor al-Udan with a true picture of the country’s overall situation. He listened to me patiently and continued silently shedding tears.

I said to him:

“The only crime of these innocent children and widows is that their fathers and husbands tried to establish Allah’s religion in Allah’s world.”

Hearing me, he began to weep aloud and, in a choked voice, told me to begin relief activities fearlessly. He added:

“At the very least, arrange to deliver immediate assistance to the families of the martyrs. Allah will grant you courage and aid. I am personally prepared to assist you. Remember, disregarding the frown of falsehood and remaining steadfast in the work of the Islamic movement is the greatest demand of the present time. There is no doubt that the Ikhwan who have become victims of government persecution are the true mujahidin in Allah’s path. They will bring people to the threshold of true freedom and prosperity. Their success is inevitable.”

He then gave me several pieces of advice. In light of that advice, I drew up a plan for the relief campaign. In complete secrecy, I began sending relief supplies to the families of the martyrs and imprisoned mujahidin. Several trustworthy and capable workers assisted me in this. With full responsibility and competence, they continued sending relief supplies to designated locations.

Even before I began the relief activities, many women devoted themselves to this noble work, while maintaining complete secrecy. Among these noble women, the wife of Imam Hudaybi, the women leader Amal Usmabi, Professor Moniruddoula, Muhtarma Amina Qutb and Hamida Qutb, Fathia Bakr, Amina Jawhari, Aliya, and Tahia Jubayli deserve special mention. Our contacts increased through this work. I personally met with Muhtarma Khalida Hudaybi and Amina and Hamida Qutb to determine practical methods of operation. “Endless thanks to Allah that we were able to provide the necessary assistance to the families of our martyred and mujahid brothers. To bring smiles to the faces of the little innocent orphans and helpless widowed sisters, we prostrated ourselves before the Sustainer, the Most Merciful.”

On the Way to Hajj with Abdul Fattah Ismail

I first met Mr. Fattah one morning in 1957 at the Port of Suez. I was there as the chairwoman of the women’s Hajj delegation. Among those present to bid us farewell was my brother, Mohammad al-Ghazali. He seemed to have gone somewhere for a short while. He returned accompanied by a dignified, silver-haired elder. He came straight to me. The old man’s eyes were lowered toward the ground. An extraordinary radiance of tranquility shone from his eyes and face, casting an aura of his noble personality. While introducing him, my brother said—

“This is Brother Abdul Fattah Ismail. In his youth, among the younger Ikhwan, he was Imam Hasan al-Banna’s most beloved disciple. Imam al-Banna loved him dearly and placed unwavering trust in him. … Hearing that you are going on Hajj aboard the same ship, he has come to meet you at once so that you may become acquainted.” Mr. Fattah then greeted me and said—

“Insha’Allah, I will see you on the ship.” I thanked him, and he left. Soon afterward, our ship set sail for Jeddah. Before long, it left the coast and entered the open sea. I became occupied with attending to the various needs of the women’s Hajj delegation. After lunch, just as I was about to lie down for a little rest in my assigned cabin, I heard a knock at the door. I rose and gave the visitor permission to enter. But no one came in. Then there was another knock. I thought the visitor might not have heard me, so I called out in a louder voice for him to enter. This time, the respected old man whom my brother had introduced to me at the Port of Suez quietly opened the door and entered. As was his habit, he lowered his gaze toward the floor, greeted me, and said—

“Praise be to Allah, most abundantly. Despite having differed with the martyred Imam for so long, you have finally taken the pledge of allegiance.”

I immediately asked—

“How did you learn that?” He replied briefly,

“The Imam himself told me.”

When I asked him what he intended, he said—

“We will meet in the House of Allah to seek the pleasure of Allah Himself. I will discuss with you the very matters that Imam Hasan al-Banna wished to discuss with you.”

Pointing toward Mecca, he said—

“Insha’Allah, we will discuss this there.” His manner of speaking was very simple and clear. Yet immense strength of honesty, responsibility, and gravity was evident in the natural way he pronounced his words. There was no room for speculation. I said to him—

“If Allah wills, we will hold our discussion either in Mecca or at the Muslim Women’s Center in Jeddah.” When he asked for my address, I gave him the address of my two brothers, Sheikh Usmabi and Mustafa Alam, who were staying in Jeddah, and said—

“They will take you to my residence in Mecca and Jeddah.” He said that he knew both of them very well. He then greeted me and took his leave for the time being. One night during Dhu al-Hijjah, after the Isha prayer and according to the scheduled program, I met the late Imam Mohammad ibn Ibrahim, the chief mufti of Saudi Arabia.

I discussed with the late chief mufti the memorandum I had presented to King Saud, emphasizing the need for a proper system of education for girls in the country. The memorandum called for the immediate implementation of women’s education in accordance with the country’s interests. It had been sent to the chief mufti for his consideration, and he summoned me to discuss it. I discussed the matter with him for two hours. On my way back, I took the Bab al-Salam route to the Sacred Sanctuary in order to circumambulate the Holy Kaaba. Just then, someone called my name from behind. I turned and saw Mr. Abdul Fattah Ismail. Learning that I intended to perform tawaf, he joined me and circumambulated the House of God. After performing the sunnah prayer of tawaf, we sat facing the Multazam, and Mr. Abdul Fattah Ismail began the discussion according to the scheduled agenda. First, he asked my opinion about the government’s prohibition of the Muslim Brotherhood. I said to him—

“From the perspective of the Shariah, this is a wrong decision.”

He said—

“Actually, that is precisely what I want to discuss with you.” I suggested that we meet at the Wafd Building to discuss the matter, but he said—

“It would not be unusual for Nasser’s intelligence officers to be stationed at such places. Therefore, it is not a safe place for discussion.”

We then agreed to meet in the office of Mr. Sheikh Saleh Kajaz, in the department responsible for construction at the Sacred Sanctuary. But when we arrived there, he said to me in a low voice—

“No, not here either. Rather, let us go to the Sacred Sanctuary itself and discuss it there.”

We set a time to meet behind Maqam Ibrahim. After performing tawaf and the sunnah prayer of tawaf, we sat beside Maqam Ibrahim, behind the structure built over the Zamzam well, and began discussing the rejection of the government’s decision to prohibit the Brotherhood, the reorganization of the Brotherhood, and the resumption of vigorous activity. During the discussion, we agreed that after returning from Hajj we would meet the Murshid ‘Am, Imam Hudaybi, and ask his permission to begin work again. As we were preparing to depart for our homeland after Hajj, he said—

“We must pledge ourselves to Allah that we will strive in the path of Allah until the Brotherhood is reorganized, and that we will never sit idle. And whoever opposes this noble work, regardless of the position or authority they possess, we will reject them. We both pledged before Allah to seek martyrdom in the service of Islam and to engage in ceaseless jihad.” We then returned to Egypt.

Permission to Work

In early 1958, I met repeatedly with Mr. Abdul Fattah Ismail at the headquarters of the Islamic Women’s Organization and at my home. We discussed and reviewed the problems of the Muslims and tried to devise a method of work in the service of Islam that would enable the nation to become conscious and aware once again of its dignity and way of life. Following the example of the life of the Noble Messenger, the Companions, and later Muslim scholars, we prepared a program and constitution based on the Quran and Sunnah. According to the plan, everyone willing to work for the sake of Islam had to be brought together to meet with us. But all this was merely discussion and consultation to determine our method before beginning the work. When we finally decided to begin, however, we felt it necessary to obtain the opinion of Imam Hudaybi, as the Brotherhood’s elder and Murshid. For after studying the relevant laws, it had become clear to us that the decision to prohibit the Brotherhood was illegal. Jamal Nasser had no legitimate right to lead the Muslims. Since he was personally opposed to Islam, no Muslim was obliged to obey him. Moreover, when making decisions, he paid no regard to the rulings of the Quran and Sunnah.

I met Imam Hudaybi to obtain permission, in my name and that of Mr. Abdul Fattah Ismail, to begin organizational work. After meeting several times for discussions, he carefully examined the outline of our plan and method of work and gave us permission to begin.

Then, as our first step, Mr. Abdul Fattah Ismail set out to travel throughout Egypt, visiting districts, cities, and villages, in order to gather information, recruit people for the organization initially, learn who was prepared to work with us, and determine what work could be entrusted to whom. Former members of the Muslim Brotherhood were given priority for this purpose, so that they could form the movement’s first ranks.

Mr. Abdul Fattah Ismail first contacted the recently released Brotherhood members in order to assess their enthusiasm for work. He also examined on the ground whether those who had previously endured imprisonment still retained their enthusiasm, courage, and morale. Had long imprisonment, torture, and persecution driven these workers away from the Islamic movement? Were they still capable of showing the same energy in striving along the path of Allah’s religion? Were they still prepared for every sacrifice and hardship? Did they still possess the morale to face danger and calamity with a smile? To answer these questions, it was essential to learn the condition and opinions of the workers in the more severely affected areas. New steps would be taken accordingly.

After reviewing each report sent by Mr. Abdul Fattah Ismail, I met with the Murshid ‘Am and informed him of the matters on which there was consensus and of the problems. When I expressed doubts and concerns about the various difficulties and problems, he said—

“Move forward at an unbroken pace. Do not look back, and pay no attention to what any officeholder or famous person has said. Remember that you are going to build an entire edifice.”

He agreed with us completely on some matters and gave instructions and advice on others. One of his principal pieces of advice was that we should keep Imam Ibn Hazm’s Al-Muhalla before us during our discussions.

In 1949, our research for preparing a program of spiritual purification was completed. Allah is my witness: our program contained nothing beyond provisions for training Muslims. Our aim was for them, as Arabs, to become aware and active regarding their duties and responsibilities in establishing an Islamic society.

Because the Muslim Brotherhood’s activities had been suspended following the proclamation of the ban in 1954, we decided to keep our new activities secret.

Speaking Frankly with My Husband

Alongside participating in these activities, I continued regularly sending messages to the center of the Islamic Women’s Organization and properly fulfilling my family responsibilities.

My husband, Mohammad Saleh, noticed that Brother Abdul Fattah Ismail and other worker brothers were repeatedly visiting our home. So one day he asked—

“The visits of Brotherhood members, their discussions, and so on seem to indicate that they are active here. Is that really the case?”

I replied—

“Yes.”

When he then asked for more details about the nature of these activities, I said—

“I want to reorganize the Brotherhood.”

When he asked for further details, I reminded him of our marriage agreement and said—

“My dear, do you remember what I told you before agreeing to marry you?”

He replied—

“Yes, you imposed certain conditions. But today I am afraid that the tyrannical government may arrest you.” Saying this, he lowered his head and fell silent. Recalling the past, I said—

“I clearly remember telling you that there were many commitments connected with my life that I needed to disclose to you, because you were going to become my life partner. Therefore, if you did not try to learn about them thoroughly, I wanted to inform you of those commitments. In addition, I would place several conditions before you.

“In fact, I am the chairwoman of the Muslim Women’s Organization. But many people believe that I support the political policies of the Wafd Party. That is not true. In reality, I place my trust in the principles of the Muslim Brotherhood. My connection with Mustafa al-Nahhas arose from personal friendship and shared views. But I pledged allegiance to Imam Hasan al-Banna, promising to strive in the path of Allah. Otherwise, I could not even contemplate taking any step that would divert me from the path ordained by God. Rather, I will continue advancing along this path. Day and night, this is the dream I see and the hope I cherish. If I ever feel that your personal interests and economic activities are incompatible with my Islamic work, and if I realize that our married life is obstructing the Islamic movement, then we will separate.” That day, as you answered me, your eyes filled with tears, and you said—

“Why are you making no demands concerning your material needs and the specification of your dower? And regarding the condition you are imposing that I not prevent you from working for Islam, I know nothing about your relationship with Imam Hasan al-Banna. All I know is that you disagree with taking responsibility for the women’s branch of the Brotherhood.”

I said—

“But, praise be to Allah, before Imam al-Banna’s martyrdom, during the calamity of 1948, I reached an agreement with him on this matter and decided to participate fully in the Islamic movement. I could not demand that you join me in this jihad; however, I have the right to ask you not to prevent me from joining this jihad in the path of Allah. And when I need to go among the ranks of the mujahidin, you must not ask where or why I am going.” A man should be fully confident that the woman he is about to marry has, from the earliest part of her youth, devoted herself to establishing an Islamic government and attaining the pleasure of Allah. Nevertheless, if this marriage becomes an obstacle to the Islamic movement, it will be dissolved, and my existence will remain devoted solely to the Islamic movement.”

After remaining silent for a few moments, I asked him—

“Do you remember these things we discussed before the marriage?”

He said, “Yes…”

In reply, I said—

“Then, according to your promise, you will not ask whom I am meeting or where I am going. Simply pray before Allah that He may make the reward for my jihad a bond between us both and accept my work. I know very well that you have full authority to impose commands and prohibitions upon me, and as your wife I am obliged to obey you. But in the present delicate circumstances, devoting ourselves to the work of the Islamic movement is far more urgent than fulfilling our mutual duties.” Hearing me, he said—

“My dear! I am ashamed to have questioned you. I pray that Allah grants you courage and enthusiasm to remain steadfast in this noble work. How happy I would be if I could live to see the Brotherhood succeed. May God establish an Islamic government through your efforts. Alas, if only I could join you and work shoulder to shoulder with you while still young!”

After that, our activities increased considerably. Our house remained bustling day and night with the comings and goings and movements of the workers. Even if someone knocked at the door in the middle of the night, my husband would get up, open the door for the visitors, take them to the reception room, wake the housekeeper and order her to prepare tea and snacks, then wake me very carefully and say—

“Your sons have arrived. The signs of fatigue are clear on their faces.”

I would get up and welcome them. Before going to sleep, my husband would tell them, “If you perform the Fajr prayer in congregation, please wake me too, so that I may join the congregation.”

At the appropriate time, I would wake him according to his wishes. After the prayer, he would speak to the guests with such affection and care as though they were his beloved children. Then, after exchanging greetings and prayers, he would retire to his room.

Meeting Sayyid Qutb

In 1962, with the permission of Professor Hasan Hudaybi, the leader of the Muslim Brotherhood, and the approval of Brother Abdul Fattah Ismail, I first met Sayyid Qutb’s close relatives in order to visit the renowned thinker and revolutionary leader Imam Sayyid Qutb in prison. My principal purpose in visiting him in prison was to obtain his opinions on various research subjects and benefit from his advice and counsel.

I first explained my purpose to Sister Hamida Qutb and asked her to convey my greetings to Brother Sayyid Qutb. I specifically informed her that the group reviewing the Islamic curriculum was eager to obtain his opinion.

I presented our reading list to Sister Hamida Qutb. It included Tafsir Ibn Kathir, Ibn Hazm’s Al-Muhalla, Imam al-Shafi‘i’s Kitab al-Umm, Ibn Abd al-Wahhab’s Kitab al-Tawhid, and Sayyid Qutb’s Fi Zilal al-Quran. A little later, Hamida returned and advised me to read the second edition of Surat al-An‘am. She also showed me a manuscript and said that Sayyid Qutb had written this book while sitting in prison and named it Ma‘alim fi al-Tariq—Milestones. It would soon be published. “Once you have read these few pages, I will bring you the other chapters as well.”

I was informed that the Murshid ‘Am had reviewed the manuscript and ordered that it be printed immediately. Later, when I asked the Murshid ‘Am about this, he said—

“It is surely a mercy from Allah! After reading this book, my great hopes for Sayyid Qutb have begun to take shape. I have read the book attentively twice.”

Without doubt, Sayyid Qutb was then the central focus of our hopes and aspirations. The Murshid ‘Am allowed me to read the entire manuscript. I took the manuscript and sat in a secluded room to read. I did not leave the room until I had read the manuscript of Ma‘alim fi al-Tariq in full. We then consulted about publishing each chapter separately as small booklets for distribution among the youth. We proceeded on this matter by unanimous agreement. Imam Sayyid Qutb continued sending various booklets from prison on important subjects, and we arranged for their collective study and their wide publication and dissemination.

The young people began gathering to learn the Quran, and their numbers continued to grow day by day. It is difficult to express in words how beautiful and pure were the feelings evoked by the sight of those collective study circles of the young. Our method of collective study was as follows: first, ten verses of the Noble Quran would be recited; their literal and technical meanings would be explained; their purpose and significance would be clarified; and then a practical discussion would be held on how they could be implemented in the personal and collective lives of Muslims.

Following the example of the Companions, we would read and understand ten verses before turning our attention to reciting and understanding the next ten. In this way, we gathered under the shade of Allah’s mercy to recite and understand the Quran, worked to develop our personalities, and conveyed the Islamic call to others, preparing them for the movement. The young people were highly enthusiastic about the genuine Islamic movement. They placed special emphasis on firmly establishing the Islamic movement so as to prepare future generations to devote themselves to its work with sincere wholeheartedness.

In light of Imam Hudaybi’s permission and Imam Sayyid Qutb’s advice, we decided to continue training and organizing Muslims so as to establish their Tawhidic creed on a rational basis. We made it clear that until a system of judgment based on Islamic law—that is, the Qur’an and Sunnah—was put in place, no Islamic government could be said to exist, nor could Islam be said to have been established. The law of the Sunnah had to be established in the collective life of Muslims. Therefore, following the Prophet’s initial thirteen-year preaching mission in Mecca, we too adopted a special thirteen-year program. To this end, emphasis was first placed on the Ikhwan workers fully establishing Islam’s ideals in their own lives and obeying the Imam. However, the implementation of hudud, or penal laws, according to Islamic law would remain suspended until an Islamic government was established. (Naturally, efforts to apply and defend them by possible means would continue.)

We also knew that Muslims possessing qualities like those of the age of the Prophet and his Companions were rare in today’s world. Therefore, it was the duty of every Islamic organization to wage continuous jihad, and this struggle had to continue until the entire Muslim ummah came under the Islamic ideal. This struggle had to be waged not merely through slogans, but in an effective manner.

After analyzing the situation in detail, it became clear that the present government was wholly un-Islamic, although the government had announced several times that it had introduced Allah’s law. Following this assessment, a nationwide survey would be conducted after the prescribed thirteen-year training period had been completed by everyone, young and old, male and female alike. If we then found 75 percent of the people as our companions—those who agreed with us that Islam and politics were not separate matters and that politics was essential for implementing Islam—we would demand the establishment of genuine Islamic rule in the country. But if, even after the first thirteen years, most of the people remained distant from Islam, then during the following decade we would once again focus on training the people in the light of Islamic teachings. This work would continue until the opponents of Islam were uprooted and the Islamic ideal was fully implemented. We vowed to remain active throughout our lives in this mission of the Islamic movement. If death approached us in this way, we would place Islam’s banner in the hands of the next generation. In accordance with Imam Hudaybi’s wishes, my contact with Imam Sayyid Qutb, the general guide, continued. He too would come to my residence in New Egypt to answer the young people’s various questions and inquiries and offer advice. The young men would ask him question after question on different subjects, and he patiently continued to give detailed and satisfactory answers to each one.

Chapter Three

The Conspiracy

As I mentioned at the outset, a failed attempt was made to kill me several months before Imam Sayyid Qutb was released from prison. We received reliable information that he was now being released precisely so that he could be killed more easily. To carry out this assassination, the intelligence service had already drawn up the final outline of its conspiracy. Brother Abdul Fattah Ismail’s name was also included on the intelligence service’s assassination list. Yet even after hearing this news, we continued our work with complete indifference, relying on Allah. None of us could bear to let even the slightest slackening enter the movement’s work. Of course, we did discuss and review the tyranny’s deceptions and threats and their conspiracies. In fact, they had thought that ours was an ideological movement led by the imprisoned leader, Mr. Sayyid Qutb, while outside it was being practically carried out by Abdul Fattah Ismail and Zaynab al-Ghazali.

Around that time, we received information from an extremely reliable source that the American and Soviet intelligence services had handed President Nasser a report calling for the immediate elimination of the Muslim Brotherhood and all its activities. In the report, they expressed concern that unless the Brotherhood was silenced at once, everything the military government had achieved in distancing the people from Islamic ideas and in bringing them to a hopeless state regarding reform and education through Islam would be reduced to dust. Therefore, the government should take every possible measure to eradicate the Brotherhood’s ideas and movement completely. In light of the report received from the American and Soviet intelligence services, President Nasser realized that the existence of the Islamic movement was the greatest obstacle before his dictatorial rule.

At the beginning of August 1965, I learned that the final list of those to be arrested immediately had been prepared. The principal names on this list were Imam Sayyid Qutb, Zaynab al-Ghazali, Abdul Fattah Ismail, and Muhammad Yusuf Hawwash.

Around the beginning of August 15, I received the news. I was speaking with several sisters when a telephone call came. I was told by telephone that Sayyid Qutb’s house had been searched and that his body had not been spared a search either. A few days earlier, his brother Muhammad Qutb had also been detained. My husband was then staying in Ras al-Bir. I telephoned him and asked him to send satisfactory information about Sayyid Qutb. About an hour later, he confirmed by telephone that the news I had first received was true. I immediately suspended the sisters’ meeting and turned my attention to what would follow. News of Sayyid Qutb’s arrest created tremendous agitation and excitement among the young people. Needless to say, the same was true of us.

Imam Hudaybi had placed all responsibility for the movement in Sayyid Qutb’s hands. We maintained contact with him in accordance with Mr. Hudaybi’s instructions. After Sayyid Qutb’s arrest, we met with Imam Hudaybi, the general guide, to learn who would be responsible next.

Abdul Fattah Ismail and I had feared this incident would occur five days before the arrests. In any event, after the incident, Abdul Fattah met me and instructed me to set out for Alexandria to meet the general guide. He also introduced me to a young man and said—

“If I am arrested, he will take responsibility for maintaining this contact.”

Several hours later, he telephoned and ordered me to remain at my own residence and postpone my trip to Alexandria. But I had already established contact with the general guide. The general guide’s wife had also arrived from Alexandria. We decided to remain in regular contact with Mr. Hudaybi. This time, Brother Mustafa Mursi was assigned responsibility for maintaining contact among us.

I then met the general guide, informed him of everything, and explained our program. He approved it. He expressed profound sorrow and concern over the arrests, especially Sayyid Qutb’s arrest.

The arrest campaign continued thereafter. Before long, several thousand members of the Brotherhood had been imprisoned. After I was arrested, Shams Badran swore to President Nasser that during the preceding twenty days one hundred thousand members of the Brotherhood had been arrested, filling the military prison, the fortress prison, Abu Zaabal Prison, and many other prisons, including those in Alexandria and Tanta.

On August 19, I learned that eighty-five-year-old Fazila, also known as Umm Ahmad, had been arrested as well. She had been our companion in the Islamic movement from the very beginning. She was a true follower of Imam Hasan al-Banna and had played a major role in caring for and assisting the families of imprisoned members of the Brotherhood. The dreadful news of the arrest of this noble octogenarian woman left me devastated. After remaining silent for a few moments, I addressed the messenger, her nephew, and said—

“It is our good fortune that even an eighty-five-year-old woman is going to jihad in Allah’s path and accepting the unbearable torment of prison with a smile, without bowing her head before the rebellious false rule that defies God. May Allah’s mercy descend upon her, and may Allah be pleased with her deed.”

I called my foster daughter, Gada Ammar, and said—

“The renowned female mujahida of Shibla, Fazila, also known as Umm Ahmad, has been arrested as well… I am entrusting you with funds for conducting the Islamic movement’s outreach and for the expenses of the families of those arrested. If I am arrested, hand over all the money to the general guide or to someone from the Qutb family.” Saying this, I handed the money bag to Gada. The money had been collected from the workers’ contributions. Later, after I reached prison, I learned that Gada had handed the money over to another foster daughter of mine, Fatima Isa. But when she too was arrested, the agents of the tyrannical regime also seized that money. Yet those funds had been designated for food, housing rent, medicine, and educational expenses for those innocent people whose fathers had been arrested solely because they were preparing the ground for an Islamic revival and writing a new history.

Gada Ammar and Aliya Hudaybi visited me in prison and, upon returning, told me everything in detail. I said to them—

“There is no reason to worry; Allah is sufficient for us. He is the best disposer of affairs. Our true destination is the Hereafter…… And this world is only temporary……”

Until my arrest, news of the mass arrests of Brotherhood members struck my heart continually like arrows. In the meantime, a messenger came and conveyed a message asking me to go to Alexandria to meet the general guide. On August 19, just as I was preparing to leave, a second messenger arrived and told me to postpone my departure for the time being.

Now It Was My Turn

At dawn on Friday, August 20, at the time of the Fajr prayer, the soldiers of the tyrannical regime suddenly stormed my residence. When I asked them to show me the warrant authorizing the search, they said, “A warrant? What warrant? Whose warrant? Are you crazy? Don’t you know this is the Nasser era? Know that we will do whatever we please.” Then, laughing hideously like hysterical patients, they said again—

“The Brotherhood really are crazy. In Jamal Nasser’s era, they are asking us for a permit to enter a house.” Then they began smashing and crushing every piece of furniture in their path indiscriminately; not a single thing escaped their accursed clutches. Even as I watched their vile acts, I could only observe silently and helplessly. After ransacking the entire house, they arrested my nephew. He was a student at Teachers College and lived in our house while studying. Then they said, “You will not leave the house.” I asked—

“Am I to understand that I am under house arrest?” They replied, “Until a second order arrives, you will remain under our surveillance. If you try to leave the house, you will be arrested.” I thought that perhaps my situation would be limited to house arrest. Nevertheless, fearing arrest, I was making the necessary emergency preparations. At that moment, my neighbor’s husband and children came to visit me. Fearing that the gentleman too might be arrested, I immediately asked him to leave the house, since they had already arrested my nephew. But despite my repeated requests, he refused to leave me.

Just at lunchtime, Nasser’s tyrannical soldiers entered my room and began destroying all the remaining furnishings. They destroyed half the items in my office and seized the chest. I failed to remove my personal library’s most important books in time, especially works on tafsir, hadith, fiqh, and history. I was also unable to remove the draft manuscripts of three special issues of a magazine declared illegal in 1958. The brutes were destroying things recklessly and confiscating or wrecking whatever they pleased. I argued with them over the chest’s key. In fact, the chest was under my husband’s supervision and contained some of my belongings. When the soldiers demanded the key, I told them it was with my husband, who had gone traveling during the summer vacation. Hearing this, they began making a commotion. They told one of their men to open the lock. He took a ring of keys and tried them one by one, but failed to open it. I then demanded a receipt for the confiscated belongings and furnishings. Hearing me, they burst out laughing and said—

“A receipt? You want receipts for those things? Come, I’ll give you a receipt”—and, pushing me outside, they put me in their vehicle. My nephew had been detained in the vehicle since that morning. I asked him, “How are you, Muhammad?” But he gave no answer. I understood that he had been forbidden to speak. He had been taken earlier solely for their convenience. Needless to say, the soldiers who had now arrived were different from the group who had come in the morning.

The vehicle set off with us. As soon as I read the sign at the prison’s main gate, I learned that this was the notorious, vile military prison. After entering the prison compound, I was taken out of the vehicle. A frightening-looking man then led me into a room. A man waiting there began questioning me. I was then taken to another room. When another dark-skinned man there asked my name, the frightening man who had accompanied me answered him with a filthy insult and told him my name.

The dark-skinned man then stared at me with bloodshot eyes and asked in a harsh voice—

“Who are you?” I replied calmly—

“Zaynab al-Ghazali al-Jubayli……” That was all I said! No sooner had he heard it than he began hurling such obscene abuse from his hideously distorted face that I had never heard such vile language in my life. The frightening man who had accompanied me, consumed with rage and cursing, said—

“You wretched woman, answer politely the man before whom you are standing.” I then said—

“You have arrested me; you have confiscated my belongings, furnishings, money, and books. You should give me a list and receipts for all of them so that I can recover everything after my release.” Hearing this, the government’s so-called attorney, Shams Badran, said with extreme contempt—

“We will kill you in an hour, and you are asking for receipts for books, money, belongings, and furnishings! Well, look at my lady!” He then added more obscene abuse and said—

“Just as we have buried countless of your companions here before you, you too will be buried here.”

Saying this, he laughed loudly and crudely and kept saying whatever came to his mouth. No civilized person could even imagine such a filthy, uncivilized, vulgar environment. Therefore, rather than say anything, I thought it best to remain silent. In this situation, Attorney Shams Badran ordered the frightening soldier—

“Take her away from here.”

He asked—

“Where?”

The attorney replied with a gesture—

“They know.”

The frightening man then dragged me mercilessly to another room, cursing me all the way. I saw a gigantic, demon-like man standing in the darkness filled with smoke, calling my name and spewing insults. Seeing his cruel face, I sought Allah’s help to be saved from his devilry and said—

“O Pure Sustainer! Grant me comfort and give me the strength to remain patient even in the moment of the greatest trial. Keep me occupied with uttering Your holy name and steadfast on the path of Your pleasure.”

The frightening man who had accompanied me stood at the door and said to the new devil—

“Here she is, sir……”

The gigantic devil said—

“Take her to Room 24.” I was then taken to a room. It looked like an office. Two men were sitting there, one of them holding a diary. As soon as I saw the diary, I recognized it as the special diary of Mr. Abdul Fattah Ismail, which he would take out and write necessary notes in when delivering a Qur’an lesson. From this I understood that he and his companions had also been arrested, because a meeting was supposed to take place there at that time. I trembled at the thought that the devils had arrested them at the meeting itself.

Meanwhile, the adhan for Asr was heard. I prepared for prayer. As soon as I finished praying, that terrifying devil advanced toward me like a savage beast.

The Way to Room Twenty-Four

This time they bound both my hands behind my back and, accompanied by two more dark-skinned men, led me around through various parts of the military prison. They carried thin black whips. In different sections of the prison, I was horrified to see the gruesome scenes of torture inflicted on members of the Brotherhood. They were stripped naked, bound tightly to beams, and whipped mercilessly. Their skin was split by the blows, and streams of blood flowed from their bodies. Some members of the Brotherhood were beaten with hunters, after which hungry hunting dogs were set upon them. Their bodies were torn by the dogs’ poisonous bites. Many members of the Brotherhood had been tied facing the wall before being physically tortured. I personally knew many of the young workers among them. They were dear to me as my own children. These educated, God-fearing young men, devoted to humanity, were mujahids who had dedicated their lives to Allah’s path. Their days passed in the work of the Islamic movement, and in the darkness of night they remained absorbed in the remembrance of Allah. Only the most vile enemies of Islam could inflict such merciless torture and display such savage brutality toward these young men, the nation’s future leaders and the apple of the people’s eyes! Yet even after this unspeakable oppression and persecution, I was stunned with amazement to see the natural radiance, patience, and composure on their faces! Seeing their real example of sacrifice and endurance, and of not being frightened before torture, made me properly envious of them. I felt proud of these exceptionally courageous young men, symbols of patience. I saw that among these tortured and persecuted people there were young men, middle-aged people, and old men; likewise, there were adolescents and young girls, all the way to men and women eighty or ninety years old. Everyone was in the same condition, in the same state.

Their entire bodies were bloodied, their backs torn by the hunters’ blows, their faces marked with bloody scratches, and their bodies covered only by a single, tattered garment. Warm streams of blood ran down the forehead that had never bowed before anyone except when God required it. But how astonishing! Their eyes and faces shone with a strange radiance. Even while being crucified, they sang Allah’s praises with serene faces. They had been hung upside down from the roof, yet not the slightest change had occurred in their patience and truthfulness. But I no longer had the strength to look at this heartbreaking scene. Unbearable…… unbearable…… unbearable!

Suddenly, a young man hanging on a gibbet noticed me. From the gallows, he shouted loudly to me—

“O mother! Our mother! May Allah keep you steadfast on the path of truth.”

“May Allah keep you steadfast as well; may Allah grant you patience and courage……” I said.

I saw the blood from his mangled body gathering in one place. A kind of brilliant glow seemed to emerge from that pooled blood. I prayed—

“O Lord of the Worlds, grant patience, strength, courage, and tranquility to the mujahids of Your faith! Shower Your mercy upon them, O God……!”

Looking toward the tortured and persecuted heroic mujahids, I said—

“My beloved children, descendants of the Messenger! Do not lose patience or courage. Allah is your helper. Your destination is Paradise.” The executioner who was taking me around heard me uttering prayers before Allah. He raised his enormous, heavy hands and struck both my temples with tremendous force. The severity of the blow deafened me, and for a while I also lost my sight. I felt as though I had been stunned by a sudden thunderbolt. It also seemed as though the limbs of my body were being torn apart and an extraordinary radiance was emanating from my entire body. Despite writhing in unbearable pain, I said—

“O God, I will endure everything for the sake of Your pleasure.” At that moment, I felt as though several words were floating down from Paradise: “O Lord! Grant us self-confidence; O God, protect the believers from the oppression of the tyrant.”

“Had You not been our Lord, we would not have received guidance, nor would we have given charity and performed prayer. In hardship and calamity, grant us self-confidence.”—Hadith

The cracking sounds of the whips and hunters continued to grow louder, but the voice of faith was even clearer and stronger. Suddenly, I heard another voice—the voice that seemed to be floating down from Paradise.

“There is no lord but Allah; He is One and without equal.” I said again—

“Be patient, my children, be patient. Paradise awaits you.”

The jailers’ hard fists, wielded by the oppressor, rained down upon my back like torrential rain. I said—

“Allah is the Greatest, and all praise belongs to Allah”—Allah is Almighty. All praise is for Allah alone…… O Allah! With patience and contentment, I thank You for all the rewards You have bestowed upon us in the form of Islam, faith, and jihad.”

Then the executioner opened the door of a dark room, left me inside, locked the door from outside, and went away.

In Room Number Twenty-Four

Saying Bismillah, I entered that pitch-dark room. As soon as the door closed, an intense electric light seemed to dazzle my eyes. I understood that my second kind of punishment had begun. I saw that the entire room was filled with dogs. I do not remember exactly how many dogs there were. Terrified by so many fierce dogs, I closed my eyes. Countless dogs seemed to be biting my entire body unbearably. My head, hands, chest, back, feet—in short, everywhere—seemed to be torn by dog bites. The moment I opened my eyes to see that horrific scene, I was forced to close them again. Helpless, I began reciting Allah’s names—the Asma al-Husna. Forgetting the dogs’ poisonous bites, I became absorbed in the remembrance of Allah. I said—

“O Pure Sustainer! Severing my ties with everything in the world, I am keeping only my bond with You unbroken. My success lies only in Your being pleased with me…… I seek only nearness to You in exchange for my life and everything in this world. Grant me a place at the court of Your mercy…… Grant me love, contentment, and a martyr’s death on the path of Your religion, and grant every person of monotheistic faith firm self-confidence.”

Thus, several hours passed between the dogs’ bites and my worship. Suddenly the door opened, and I was taken out of the room.

I was firmly convinced that the white clothes I wore had become red with blood. But how astonishing! My clothes were still perfectly white, just as before, and there was not a single mark of a dog bite anywhere on my body. What a wonder! What unseen mercy from Allah! O Lord, am I worthy of receiving such mercy from You!…… All praise is Yours, my Lord!…… I was saying these things silently when the prison executioner asked me—

“What happened? The dogs did not bite you? But why? What an astonishing affair this is……” Saying this, he fixed his gaze on his whip. The second man who had come with him was also waving his stick and thinking about something.

The last glow of evening was fading in the western sky. It was time for Maghrib prayer. I thanked Allah with tear-filled eyes for bringing me out completely unharmed after I had spent more than three hours among vicious dogs.

After the prayer, a prison worker took me a long way and brought me before a closed door. When it opened, I saw ahead a terrifying, deserted field. Crossing the field, we proceeded through a long, dark corridor. Countless closed doors lined both sides of the corridor. I saw light coming through only one door. Glancing quickly, I saw that it was the door of Room Number Two, where a senior officer, Muhammad Rashad Muhna, was sitting. He had once been the Crown Prince of Egypt. The government had become confused about him, believing that the Ikhwan might place him in the office of President of Egypt. Thus, he too was arrested.

In Room Number Three

The door of Room Number Three was opened, and I was pushed inside. As soon as the door closed, an intensely bright electric bulb hanging from the ceiling lit up. Its light was so fierce that it became difficult to keep my eyes open. I understood that this dazzling play of light was indeed part of my punishment!

After a while, when I knocked on the door from inside to have it opened, a terrifying Abyssinian opened it and stood before me. When I asked him to bring water for ablution, he grimaced and said in a harsh voice—

“Don’t you know that knocking on the door is forbidden here, asking for water is forbidden, performing ablution is forbidden, drinking water is forbidden……” Saying this, he swung his whip through the air and said again—

“Beware! If I hear you knock on your door again, I will strip the skin from your body with this whip.”

There was nothing in the room. Besides, after spending up to three hours with dogs in Room Number Twenty-Four, I had become physically and mentally exhausted. So I performed tayammum on the floor, spread my shawl, and offered the Isha prayer. Then I tried to rest a little. But I was groaning from excruciating pain in every bone. Even so, I tried to lie down with my two shoes beneath my head. But the enemies of humanity began such acts that I forgot all about resting.

The ventilator in my room was very large. Through it, the prison courtyard could be seen clearly. They brought a pillory and placed it directly in front of that ventilator. Then they began practicing ever-new methods of torture by placing young workers of the Islamic movement on it. Their bodies were battered by blows from the whip. But those brave young men on Allah’s path endured everything with supreme patience. No sound except Allah’s name could be heard from their mouths. With every stroke of the whip, only the words “Ya Allah!” came from their mouths—that was all.

During this vile, inhuman torture, the murderous executioner would ask them in extremely obscene language……

“Tell me, you son of a dog, when did you come here?”

When they answered, he would ask—

“When was the last time you went to Zaynab al-Ghazali’s?”

If a young man answered this question by saying that he did not know or could not remember, all those vile, barbaric beasts would pounce on him together and, while beating him with whips and lashes, order him to abuse me in obscene language. But these educated young men of fine character—some doctors, some engineers, some professors, intellectuals, and lawyers—could not even think of uttering an insult while life remained in them. They would say—

“She is like our mother, a pious and noble woman.” When the young men refused to utter obscene abuse, the executioner would fly into a rage and increase the torture. Yet he could never make the young men deviate morally. Countless praises be upon those brave young men who, even standing before death, never compromised with falsehood and evil, and who did not deviate even a fraction from the path of truth despite countless dangers and calamities.

There are no words to express how my heart and soul writhed when I saw mountains of unjust torture collapse upon these strong young men of noble character. I could only pray to Allah……

“O Most Merciful and Compassionate Allah, place the punishment of those innocent young men upon my shoulders and set them free.”

I wanted the young men to gain freedom by agreeing with the oppressors, while I endured all the torture in their place. But that did not happen.

They suffered one severe torture after another. They called upon Allah but did not abandon the path of truth. Seeing their suffering and pain, I forgot my own aches and pains. In comparison with their suffering, the torture inflicted upon me seemed very slight. Now I felt pain through their pain. I could ask Allah for nothing but mercy for them.

The Dream

In this condition, I did not notice when I fell asleep. Perhaps Allah’s mercy lay within it. During the days of my trial, I had already seen the beloved Prophet, Hazrat Muhammad (peace be upon him), in dreams three times; today I attained this blessing for the fourth time.

I dreamed that there were many camels in a vast desert. Shimmering seats had been placed on their backs, and four passengers of serene, gentle radiance sat on each camel. As far as the eye could see, a caravan extending to the horizon filled the desert with camels. There I found myself standing before a grave yet smiling, radiant-faced great man. I saw countless camels wandering across the desert; the reins around every one of their necks were clasped in his hand.

With utmost humility, I asked him—

“Is the beloved Prophet here?” He looked at me peacefully and said—

“Zaynab! You are indeed on the path followed by Allah’s Messenger and His servant Muhammad.”

Overjoyed, I asked again—

“Am I truly following the path directed by Allah’s Messenger and His servant?”

“Yes, O Zaynab, O Ghazali, you are on the path directed by Allah’s servant and His Messenger.” I asked the same question again—

“O my beloved Prophet; O Messenger of Allah! Am I following the path directed by Allah’s servant and His Messenger?”

The beloved Prophet said—

“O Zaynab, you are on the path of truth; O Zaynab! You are on the path followed by Allah’s servant and His Messenger Muhammad.”

When I awoke, I felt an extraordinary strength and peace within me. This dream made me detached and indifferent to thoughts of all the oppression and torture of the present. The blows of the whip or the brutal torture inflicted upon the Ikhwan in the courtyard before me…… nothing seemed so painful anymore. I saw that the pillory had been removed from the courtyard ahead. Now the sounds of beating drifted from quite far away.

I was amazed to think that in the dream the beloved Prophet had addressed me by my actual ancestral name. My actual ancestral name is Zaynab Ghazali. But the public has known me as Zaynab al-Ghazali.

To thank Allah for granting me this blessed dream, I immediately performed tayammum and stood for prayer. Bowing in prostration, I said to Allah in a voice dissolved in tears—

“My Lord! How can I thank You? I do not even possess the strength to thank You…… O Lord of the Worlds! I dedicate myself to martyrdom on the path of Your pleasure…… O Sustainer! May no one suffer grief or calamity because of me…… O Lord!…… Keep me steadfast only on the straight and beautiful path of Your pleasure……”

Even after offering the prayer, I continued repeating the same supplication for a long time. I felt such peace and joy then that it seemed I had reached a new world and was wandering through it. I was startled by the sounds of many vehicles and people moving anxiously along the road and courtyard outside my room. Later I learned that it was the time when the executioners’ shifts were changing. The old executioners had left, and new executioners had arrived with renewed energy for torture.

Hearing the Fajr call to prayer, I performed tayammum, repeatedly recited the words of the call, and offered the prayer. In this condition, I remained confined in the same room continuously for six days, from August 20 to August 26. During that time, the room door was not opened even once; not a drop of water or any kind of food was given. I had no contact or conversation with anyone outside. No water, no food, no conversation—six days or six nights of this solitary life in a dark room. Just try to imagine it! Let food and drink be absent, but how can anyone deny a person the fulfillment of natural needs?

What would you call those people who claim to be human, yet whose actions would shame even Satan? These tyrannical rulers had come to regard themselves as some superhuman creation and believed themselves free from all the principles of humanity.

You may also be astonished at how a person could survive six days without food or drink, unable even to relieve natural needs. The executioner guarding my room was struck by the same astonishment. He opened the door, saw me sitting there healthy and calm, uttered a filthy abuse, and asked—

“What, you still haven’t died? You’re still alive?” Let me tell you, listen, how I remained alive and healthy after so long in such an abnormal and unbelievable condition!

First, unwavering faith and trust in Allah. Islam instills such strength in its true followers that a believer can overcome every kind of grief and calamity, no matter how terrible the oppression and torture. By Allah’s grace, a believer acquires such endurance that no danger, however severe, can frighten or unsettle him. Tyrants remain intoxicated by pride in their outward power, but before the spiritual strength of a believer, every other power proves insignificant. A believer can live free from every kind of fear, intimidation, greed, and temptation. Second, there was that sacred dream, which was equivalent to Allah granting me true life and success. Because of it, I gained the strength to live while disregarding the influence of my surroundings. This dream gave me the strength to endure every extreme grief and danger and still live with ease.

On the seventh day of my lonely imprisonment without food or drink, the executioner entered my room carrying four dirty, rotten, foul-smelling pieces of bread and a piece of butter. He threw them onto the floor before me and said—

“While you’re still alive, eat these……”

Along with this came the filthy abuse from his ugly mouth. I did not even touch the bread or butter. I did pick up the vessel of water. But both the vessel and the water were so dirty and foul-smelling that they could not be brought to the mouth. Closing my eyes and nose, however, I drank the water, saying—

“In the name of that Great Allah, by the blessing of Whose name nothing in the heavens or earth can harm me. Allah hears and knows all things. O Allah, transform this water for me into nourishment necessary for health.”

After I drank the water, the door was closed. Then, at sunset, that executioner came again, opened the door, and, as usual, uttering unspeakable abuses, said—

“Come out and relieve yourself.”

As I went out, I was collapsing onto the floor from physical weakness. Seeing this, the executioner held me and took me to the toilet. When I tried to close the toilet door, he said—

“You are forbidden to close this door.” Hearing this, I came out and said to him—

“Take me back to my room. I do not need anything.”

Hearing this, he displayed extreme cruelty and shamelessness and said—

“I am standing here waiting for you. Go and finish.”

Think about it: could there be such an example of bestiality? Could even the most despicable person be so low, so vile? Yet at Nasser’s command, these executioners surpassed even beasts in savagery and brutality.

Returning to my room, I said regretfully—

“Death would be better than this. At least I would be spared the face of such a savage barbarian. I would not be forced to go with this devil even to the water tap.” After the executioner closed the room door and left, I performed tayammum and offered the Maghrib prayer. As soon as I finished praying, the door opened and several people entered the room. Among them I saw that wicked devil who had forced me to remain among countless dogs for three hours. I was lying on the floor then. That devil said to someone—

“Come, doctor, look at her!”

After examining me, the doctor said—

“Nothing has happened. Her heart is still fine.”

But what did the doctor know of how torture had brought me to the brink of death! Then they closed the door and all left. A few minutes later, the door opened, and I was taken to another dark room and tied to the wall for two hours. They forbade me even to move. Closing the door, they said amid their abuse—

“You son of a dog, the day of your death is drawing near!”

Ignoring their words, I said to Allah with all my strength—

“O Lord, let my death come in the path of faith and Islam.” Then I began reciting Surah al-Fatihah and Surah al-Baqarah. It felt as though I were reciting the Qur’an for the first time in my life. I was absorbed in reciting the Qur’an with my eyes closed when suddenly someone struck me hard across the face. The light came on at once. I saw a gigantic executioner standing before me with a whip. He began striking me mercilessly with it. Then he placed three sheets of white paper before me and said—

“Write down here whatever we tell you……”

Suddenly one of them came, gripped me tightly with his powerful hands, and hurled me violently against the wall. Then a second man lifted me from the floor, shook me, and slammed me back down, and ordered a soldier—

“Kick her with your boots as hard as you can.”

After this merciless torture had continued for a long time, he seated me on a chair, handed me the three sheets of paper, and said—

“Write down the name of every person you know, wherever those people may be—in Saudi Arabia, Syria, Sudan, Lebanon, or anywhere else in the world! If you do not write according to our orders, you will be shot here immediately. And yes, write in detail everything you know about the Ikhwan and your relationship with them. Here, take the pen.”

Then they closed the door and left.

Despite being wracked with indescribable pain, I sat down with paper and pen—

I began to write—

“There are brothers and sisters in many countries who know me through the Islamic movement. The purpose of our movement is to establish Allah’s religion. By God, those who come to us are people capable of choosing the right path. That right path is the path followed by the beloved Prophet Hazrat Muhammad (peace be upon him) and the Companions.

Our purpose is to preach Allah’s religion and call people to conduct governance according to the injunctions of the religion. In Allah’s name, I also call you: abandon the path of ignorance and oppression, come to Islam, follow tawhid and prophethood, and surrender yourselves to Allah. The falsehood and injustice that have entered your minds through following the path of evil will be cleansed through Allah’s path, and Allah will bring you from darkness into light.”

“Also convey these words of mine to the President of the country. Perhaps he will repent and return to the path of Islam. If he rejects your call, he himself will be accountable for his response. I testify that there is no deity except Allah, and that Hazrat Muhammad (peace be upon him) is Allah’s servant and Messenger.”

“O Allah, bear witness that I am fulfilling my duty.”

“Now, if they repent, accept their repentance. But if they wish to remain in the darkness of oppression, You know everything, and You are the best judge. O Allah! Keep us steadfast on the path of truth. Grant us a martyr’s death.”

Considering it my religious duty, I wrote these things, and after finishing, I began reciting the Noble Qur’an again.

After a while, Safwat Ruby came and took away the papers I had written, leaving me in that lonely place. Not even a few moments had passed when the door suddenly opened and four military men under Safwat entered; using every abuse in their vocabulary, they said—

What rubbish have you written on the paper?

Then, shouting from near the door, he said—

: Attention! Attention! The director of the military prison, Hamza Pasha Basyuni, is coming.

The director entered the room and began uttering such obscene and vile curses that no ordinary person could even imagine them. I stared at him with utter disgust. He took several sheets of paper I had written from their hands and said—

: Everything you have written is a lie.

Saying this, he tore them into shreds.

Referring to Safwat, they said—

: Is this all some kind of joke? Your written rubbish has distressed him. Basyuni said—

: Hold her—then he went outside and returned a few moments later with a soldier. The soldier lifted me high into the air with extreme brutality and slammed me to the ground. The moment I hit the ground, I lost consciousness. When I regained consciousness, I found that I had been bound and hung upside down from a wooden frame, just as a butcher hangs a slaughtered animal. Then came a merciless beating with a hunter whip. What a vile, bestial beating it was! If I could not bear it, no human being could! In the midst of it, reciting Allah’s name, I lost consciousness again.

When I regained consciousness again, I found myself lying on a hospital stretcher. I did not even have the slightest strength to speak or move. I could, however, hear the conversations around me.

After a short while, I was taken back to my prison cell. Blood was still flowing from all over my body. In unbearable agony, I rattled the door and asked the guard to send for bandages and a doctor. But in response I received nothing except vile abuse. Helpless, I prayed before Allah that my pain and bleeding would stop. Allah accepted my prayer. The bleeding from the various parts of my body stopped, but the pain continued. To find relief from it, I began repeating Allah’s name. This made the pain and suffering somewhat less intense. At that moment, I remembered a hadith of the Beloved Prophet. The Beloved Prophet said—

“Beware the supplication of the oppressed, for there is no veil between the oppressed person and Allah.”

Several nights passed in this unbearable condition. There was no medicine or treatment of any kind. Only that terrifying, dark-skinned guard would open the door at a fixed time each day and throw in a little butter and a few pieces of stale bread. Since they were unfit to eat, I would not even touch them. So he would pick them up exactly as he had left them. The stench of that bread and butter was terribly difficult to endure.

Allah Is Their Helper

One day, hearing the muffled sound of someone’s footsteps outside the door, I went to it with a strange feeling. Looking through the opening through which the guard kept watch over me, I saw Imam Huwaybi, the Murshid al-‘Amm. So he too had been arrested! I put my face to the opening and recited this holy verse—

“If you have been wounded, then the nation has likewise been wounded; do not show weakness and do not grieve. If you remain firm in faith, then you will be victorious.”

My gaze kissed his holy feet, and I continued reciting that Qur’anic verse again and again. He responded with hand gestures in such a way that the guard standing there like a shadow would understand nothing. Because of Imam Huwaybi’s nearness, I became oblivious to my sorrow and pain.

Indeed, believers establish bonds of brotherhood with one another in the path of Allah. In Islam there is no distinction or discrimination between the small and the great. In Islam, everyone works for Allah’s pleasure. Thus there is no difference between a leader and his followers, or between a commander and ordinary soldiers. Everyone works in his own sphere solely for Allah’s pleasure, and each regards the other as his own brother. These idealistic thoughts brought the cool tranquility of peace to my heart.

The Steamroller of Oppression and Torture

This peace did not last long. One afternoon, the door of my room suddenly opened and Safwat appeared. Beating the wall with the whip in his hand, he seized me, dragged me to the prison office, made me sit on a chair, and left. A few moments later, a man came and asked me—

: Are you Zaynab al-Ghazali?

After receiving an affirmative answer, he left. Then three enormous, terrifying military men arrived. They looked as though they had just risen from Hell. Clear signs of cruelty showed on their faces. Then another man came and asked them—

: Have they recognized me?

They all replied—

: Yes, they certainly have. The moment of her death is drawing near.

Then I saw them go out and whip Brother Faruq Mansabi. He had already been hung from a raised wooden frame. As they whipped him, they asked Brother Faruq—

“How many times have you met Zaynab al-Ghazali?” At the same time, they ordered him to abuse me with obscene language. But when that servant of Allah refused to obey them, the beating intensified. Seeing his condition, it seemed that blood, rather than tears, was streaming from my eyes. After beating Brother Faruq severely, they threw him to the ground. From his condition, it seemed that his soul was about to leave his body. But by Allah’s mercy, he survived. Ultimately, after turning the trial into a farce, they sentenced him to life imprisonment with hard labor. Even from prison, this soldier of Allah continued preaching Islam among the prisoners and encouraging them toward the Islamic movement. Eventually, the enemies of Islam took him to Liman Tura Prison and brutally killed him (Indeed, we belong to Allah………). He remained steadfast on the path of Allah’s pleasure until the final moment of his life and attained the blessing of martyrdom.

The sinners did not inflict such torture only on Brother Faruq. Afterwards, they hung another brother from the gallows, asked him the same kind of questions, and ordered him to abuse me. But when he refused, they beat him so brutally that he lost consciousness. Believing that he had died, they placed him on a stretcher and took him to an unknown location. In fact, the sinners thought that seeing all this would make me agree to give false testimony according to their wishes. For this purpose, they sent a man to me. He came and tried to present himself as an extremely polite man and my well-wisher.

He came, greeted me, and introduced himself—

“I am Attorney Omar Isa.”

Later I learned that what he said was a lie. In fact, he was also one of those devils. As he began speaking, he said—

“Zaynab, I am eager to reach an agreement with you. My purpose is to free you from the danger into which you have thrust yourself…… You are a respectable woman. Think about it! Even people like Huwaybi have confessed everything and revealed such things about you that you could even be sentenced to death. They have saved themselves, but pushed you into even greater danger. In my opinion, while there is still time, protect your honor and dignity and tell us everything. What was their purpose? And explain your own opinion in detail as well. I believe your opinion will be the correct one.”

Even after hearing all his pretenses, I remained silent. Receiving no answer, he said again—

“Zaynab, give your answer after thinking very carefully. I truly want to know what happened.”

This time I said—

“As far as I understand, the Muslim Brotherhood has done nothing that could anger any truthful person. I myself am also with the Brotherhood. What crime have we committed? We teach people about Islam—is that a crime?”

When I fell silent after saying this, he said—

But this proves that they were involved in many conspiracies, including a conspiracy to assassinate Jamal Abd al-Nasser and create disorder in the country. And you were supporting them in this. Look, I am an attorney; it is my job to know the facts. I said—

The Brotherhood could never have intended to assassinate Abd al-Nasser or create disorder in the country. Rather, it was Jamal Nasser who left the country in ruins. In truth, it is an undeniable fact that our purpose is lofty and constructive. We want to establish pure tawhid and worship—that is, Allah’s chosen way of life in the light of the Qur’an and Sunnah. When we achieve this noble purpose, the false throne of tyranny will disappear on its own. All fabricated tales will be destroyed. Remember, our purpose is reform and reconstruction: not destruction, but building and progress.

Hearing this, he laughed and said—

“In fact, you were conspiring against Jamal Nasser and his government. That is clear from your own words.”

I said—

: Look, there is no place for conspiracy or intrigue in Islam. We know nothing of such things. Rather, we speak out against every kind of injustice. We present people with the true nature of two paths. One is the path directed by Allah, and the other is the path of Satan. We regard those who follow Satan’s path as misguided patients. We give such people, with great affection, the medicine of truth. And that is Allah’s Shariah—Allah’s religion.

“We have revealed the Qur’an, which is mercy and deliverance for the believers, but brings nothing except loss to the oppressors.”

Now the speech of that devil who had presented himself as an attorney began to change. In fact, this was Sa’id Abdul Karim. He left, saying—

“I wanted to help you. But it seems that you are still under the influence of the Brotherhood’s ideology.”

Then Safwat Ruby came and made me face the wall. He kept me standing motionless like that for several hours while, before my eyes, he subjected members of the Brotherhood to unspeakable, inhuman torture. Watching this, my blood seemed to turn to water. I knew many of them well, such as Sarsi Mustafa, Faruq al-Asadi, and Tahir Abd al-Aziz Salim. They were prominent workers in the movement. After a while, that so-called attorney, Hamza Basyubi, and Safwat Ruby returned. Hamza said—

“Why do you not want to reach an agreement with the attorney? We are trying to rescue you from this danger. As far as I know your husband, he is a very good man. But you have become a victim of deception. Hasan Huwaybi has told us everything.”

I asked sarcastically—

“Have the members of the Brotherhood really told you everything? And is that why you are still subjecting them to inhuman torture? Hanging them on the gallows and whipping them!……… Know this: I can never lie against the Brotherhood or against myself. We are Muslims. All our efforts and striving are for Islam. This is our work.”

Four executioners stood behind them. Only moments earlier, the hunters and whips in their hands had been lashing the members of the Brotherhood.

I drew the so-called attorney’s attention toward them and said reproachfully—

Mr. Attorney! Were these hunters and whips, by any chance, part of the curriculum at your law college? Before we could finish speaking, Hamza Basyuni delivered a tremendous slap to my cheek and said—

“You think all of us are crazy, do you? Today I will bury you in the same way that I bury ten members of the Brotherhood every day.”

For the second time, I addressed the so-called attorney and said—

If you really are an attorney, why are you not recording these incidents of torture in your daily diary?……… Besides, what proof do you have that you are an attorney……?

Hearing this, Hamza Basyuni said—

“That’s enough. Go, all of you, return to your own work. I wanted to help her, but she does not want that.”

Immediately, Safwat and his fellow executioners began lashing me indiscriminately with hunters. I covered my eyes with both hands to protect them. The rest of my body was battered by the blows of the hunters. To lessen the sensation of this unbearable torture, I prayed before Allah and, with every blow of the hunter, continued to utter the words, “O Lord—O Allah.”

After wielding the hunters until they were nearly exhausted, Safwat and his companions tied me up and hung me against the wall, pulling both my hands as far upward as possible and binding them there before leaving. In this condition, my only means of finding peace and comfort was to remember Allah’s name. So I continued remembering Allah’s name and supplicating Him.

After leaving me like that for several hours, Safwat came to me with a dark-skinned man named Sambo. As soon as they arrived, both began raining punches, blows, and slaps upon me. Then they took me to the cell and locked me inside.

After they left, the sound of the dawn adhan drifted from the minaret of some distant mosque. Forgetting all my pain and suffering, I first performed the prayer, then raised both hands and said to God: “O Lord of the worlds, if You are not displeased with me, then I do not care about any worldly oppression. Your mercy and compassion are sufficient for me. I seek Your light, which illuminates this world and the Hereafter, and I seek protection from Your displeasure and wrath. O God, I have come before You alone—O Lord! Be pleased with me; surely You are the Master of everything, the Almighty.”

President Nasser’s Representative

After keeping me confined in the cell for three consecutive days, they took me to the office. A tall, broad-shouldered, fair-skinned man was sitting there waiting for me. As soon as I arrived at the office, the gentleman said—

“Sit down, Zaynab! We know that they have beaten you and left you utterly exhausted. I know you personally. ……I have come directly from the President’s office. I want to reach a settlement with you. The people of the entire country love you, and we respect you too. ……But you have kept us at a distance and continued opposing us. ………I do not know why you are unwilling to reach an agreement with us. I swear by God, if you come to an agreement with us, you will be released from the military prison today. We all know that you are not someone who belongs in prison. We are not merely promising to release you from prison; we also guarantee that you will be appointed Minister of Social Affairs in place of Hikmat Abu Zayd.”

Hearing him, I asked—

“So, before making Hikmat Abu Zayd a minister, I suppose you whipped him thoroughly and left him among vicious dogs?”

: Why would that be? Why would that be? Truly, you are suffering and enduring imprisonment here; in fact, we did not want that.

: Then what do you want from me? I asked. He said—

“Look, every member of the Muslim Brotherhood has brought accusations against you…… Mr. Huwaybi has also given a detailed account of everything concerning this matter. Abd al-Fattah Ismail and Sayyid Qutb have likewise explained everything in detail. But we believe they said all that only to secure their own release and implicate you. That is why, on President Nasser’s instructions, I have personally come to reach an agreement with you. If you agree, you will be released immediately, and I myself will take you home in my own car. It is necessary to tell you, in this connection, that the statements given by the Brotherhood make it clear that they were attempting to seize power and that you had devised a scheme to assassinate President Nasser and his four ministers. We want your statement on this matter and detailed information about Mr. Huwaybi’s and Sayyid Qutb’s roles. And who were the four ministers targeted for assassination? Please give a detailed statement.”

Without delaying for a moment, I said—

The first thing is that the Muslim Brotherhood never devised any scheme to seize power or to assassinate the so-called four ministers or anyone else. In reality, the Brotherhood’s work was to acquire a thorough understanding of Islam, determine the causes of Muslims’ poverty and decline, and conduct a realistic assessment of the overall situation—and in this regard the Brotherhood achieved success.

Interrupting me, the gentleman said: “Zaynab, they have told us everything.”

I said—

: Of course they have! Perhaps, despite their unwillingness, they said what the executioners forced them to say. They are being compelled through coercion and oppression to admit that what did not happen did happen. But such forced confessions are meaningless. The truth is that we were simply preaching the teachings of Islam and training the younger generation so that they could properly understand and implement Islam. If you consider this a crime, then there is no alternative but to turn to Allah for justice.”

The President’s representative then swore by God and said sympathetically—

“I wish you well. I came only to secure your release.”

I thanked him and said—

“Look, I have never desired to become a high-ranking government officer or a minister. I have spent my entire life serving the religion of Islam. I have not the slightest interest in becoming a notable, a great leader, or a minister. My first and last task is simply to devote myself to the service of Islam.”

As the President’s representative was leaving the room, he suddenly said—

“I came to serve you, solely to secure your release—but you are refusing and rejecting it.”

About an hour after the President’s representative left, Riyaz and Safwat came to me. Before this, Riyaz had threatened me several times, saying that if I did not give a statement according to their wishes, I would be killed.

Immediately afterward, I was beaten mercilessly, just as I had been three days earlier. They battered and bloodied my entire body, then locked me in the cell again and left.

Many Faces in My Cell

On the afternoon of the second day in the cell, at the time of the Asr prayer, some familiar voices rang in my ears. Somehow I rose and went to the door, trying to see what was happening outside through the small opening meant for the guard. But I could see nothing, because Hamza, Safwat, and his companions were standing directly in front of it. I continued waiting. After a while, when they moved a little to one side, the radiant, serene faces of Muhtarama Alia Hujaibi and Ghada Ammar appeared before me. Hiding myself as best I could from the executioners’ hawk-like gaze, I kept looking at their pure and sacred faces. Seeing them so close, I even forgot my pain and suffering. Yet I could not find comfort even lying or sitting, let alone standing. But now, as if touched by some unknown magic, I had become completely well…… I looked at them and prayed: O Pure Parwardigar! Protect these sisters and daughters of mine from the tyranny and persecution of the oppressors. I thought—Alia would soon be giving birth, while Ghada Ammar was, so to speak, still a nursing girl. Yet the enemies of truth had not hesitated to arrest even such an innocent girl. How cruel these oppressors are! I do not know what contest in heroism these merciless cowards, intoxicated by power, have entered by inflicting such vile torture on helpless, innocent girls and women upon the world’s stage. Indeed, when these self-proclaimed tyrannical rulers reveal their true bestial faces, they do not hesitate to display the most terrifying and despicable mentality in the world. Nothing remains of their conscience or good sense. Then they spread over the country’s ordinary citizens like a curse. The peace-loving people of the country become exhausted by their oppression and tyranny. Nasser and his cohorts were precisely such accursed rulers.

“O tyrant Nasser, may you be destroyed—I pray to God for your death. By deceiving the nation, what a terrible situation you have dragged it into!” Overcome by emotion, I collapsed. Shortly afterward, the door of my cell opened and that dark-skinned guard left a sheet and a pillow inside. I was astonished! For eighteen days I had been lying on the floor—why this sudden kindness today?

Then the guard came and left two more sheets and two pillows. A little later, Safwat and Hamza Bisiuni entered with Alia Hujaibi and Ghada Ammar. Leaving the two women inside, they closed the door and went back.

As soon as Alia entered the room, she embraced me and broke down in intense weeping. Forgetting my own condition and the whole world, I could only ask her, with a deeply sorrowful face—

“Alia…… my Alia……! Are you well?”

Then I looked at Ghada Ammar and saw that the barren ground beneath her had been moistened by the hot stream of tears from her eyes. I embraced her and said—

“Ghada, my daughter! You do not recognize me?” She replied—

“No…… no, Hajjah! You have changed completely, Mother. Your body has become thin as a stick. And looking at your face reminds me of your brother Saaduddin……” I consoled her and said—

“Given the condition we are in, this is only natural. We are breathing in a terrifying environment. Besides, you know, in the twenty-four hours of day and night I receive only one spoonful of salad as food. Even that is secretly brought by a soldier. If he is caught, there will be no saving him.”

After spreading out the sheets and pillows, they asked me about Dars-e-Qur’an. They had thought that I at least had the opportunity to keep and read the Qur’an Sharif. They did not know that those among whom I was held were enemies of the Qur’an and humanity. When I told them everything that had happened, they became overcome with grief and indignation. A little later, Alia and Ghada Ammar each presented me with her own Qur’an Sharif. After so many days, when I saw the Qur’an before my eyes, tears of joy appeared in both my eyes.

A little later, when I stretched out my injured leg to ease the pain, they recoiled at the raw wounds from the hunter. Tears shimmered in both their eyes. I recited to them the verses of the Holy Qur’an concerning the Ashab al-Ukhdud. Ghada Ammar began weeping silently, while Alia asked in a voice filled with astonishment—

“How could such cruel and merciless treatment even be possible toward women? What evidence of savage brutality is this……?”

But Alia perhaps could not imagine that the enemies of Islam and humanity, the Jamal Nassers, could sink even lower than this in their hostility toward Allah and His Messenger.

The Death of Rafat Mustafa Nuhas

Alia changed the subject and began informing me about the outside world. First she told me the news of Mustafa Nuhas’s death.

“O Rahmanur Rahim! You are dependent on no one; everyone depends on Your mercy and compassion. Have mercy on him.” Alia told me that he died only two or three days after my arrest. Thousands of people took part in his janazah. At that time, people demonstrated against the government. The public carried his body in a procession as far as the Mosque of Hussein. The sky and air trembled with slogan after slogan. In short, the government lost control before this angry tide of people; at Mustafa Nuhas’s funeral gathering, the public seized the opportunity to raise their voices against the government’s oppression and corruption. …… Alia also told me in detail about the explanations and analyses published by newspapers and other news media at home and abroad concerning this.

After Mustafa Nuhas’s death, people began openly criticizing the government. They also said that after Nuhas there was no leader left. The people of the country continued expressing their opinions. The pent-up pain in their hearts erupted in the loud slogans shouted in the procession. Their slogans included: “Down with the false regime; today we have heard everywhere that Nasser is a deceiver!” “Take them off, take them off, tear off their masks!” “Down with Nasser’s rule, down with the rule of tyrants!” and so on.

I spoke in memory of Mustafa Nuhas—

“Friend of the people! The deceitful hypocrites into whose hands you had placed power resorted to injustice and corruption once they gained power. And you recognized their government. The present government survives through publicity, propaganda, and the strength of its bought writers and henchmen…… These wooden lions too will one day burn and turn into a heap of ashes………”

Alia further reported that twenty thousand people who had come to take part in the funeral were arrested. The public also expressed outrage at this. In fact, the people’s suppressed anger burst forth at Mustafa Nuhas’s funeral. In ringing voices they declared their support for the truth. As we discussed him, I remembered Mustafa Nuhas. He was an extremely simple and unassuming man. He harbored no hatred in his heart even toward his most bitter enemies. He also had the moral courage to admit his own mistakes openly. In every sense, he was Egypt’s national leader.

Then I asked Alia whether my brother Saif al-Ghazali had also been arrested. Without answering yes or no, Alia placed a hand on my shoulder and hesitantly said—

“Hajjah, everything has its appointed time.” From this I understood that what I had feared concerning my brother had indeed happened.

Alia told me that the government’s Information Department had tried its utmost to prevent people from attending my brother’s funeral. Despite this, the gathering was beyond imagination. According to Alia, the masks had now fallen from the faces of those whom the people had regarded as the arbiters of their fate. The people could no longer be kept deceived for much longer.

In exchange for working against Islam and the Muslims, the government is distributing ministerial seats among conscience-less, self-seeking people. An attempt is also being made to purchase the conscience of the nation. It is frightening even to think of the bitter consequences that what the Nasser government is doing in this way will bring upon the country and the nation.

After hearing Alia’s account, I looked toward Ghada Ammar and asked about the welfare of her husband, children, and parents. Through her tears, she said—

“Her husband was forced to flee to Sudan after escaping the government’s persecution. Mother is very ill. If the two children were not with her, she might have become disgusted with life itself.”

I consoled her and prayed before Allah for everyone’s well-being.

Then I asked about Zia Tuhi’s wedding. They told me that they had been arrested from the wedding celebration while still wearing their wedding clothes. The bride and groom were both now imprisoned. In addition, her sister Moli and her doctor brother had also been detained in prison.”

I was deeply distressed by such indiscriminate arrests, especially the arrest of innocent girls.

“Why, is being the brother, sister, or relative of a member of the Ikhwan also a crime, that everyone is being unjustly thrown into prison?” In answer to my question, Alia said—

“Of course it is; besides, the government is arresting anyone it sees praying.”

Ghada gave an account of how many innocent people had been arrested in this way. The homes of everyone who appeared to be Muslim were searched, and countless people were arrested on mere suspicion. Hearing this, I remarked—

“I think even the Mongol-Tatar marauders did not display the depravity that Jamal Nasser practices. Before the Islamic Revolution in Egypt, even the Romans never inflicted such persecution. In fact, Jamal Abdun Nasser has surpassed even the vilest criminals in human history in criminality. I doubt that such a conscienceless, blind sinner as Nasser has ever been born elsewhere in the world. He would flare up at the mention of Islam, truth, and justice. It is hardly surprising that a low and despicable man like him would arrest women and lash them with hunters. Harassing innocent people, making women widows, murdering people, and even burying them alive—only a man like Nasser could do such things. Playing with the lives, property, and honor of political opponents, and with the lives of their wives and children, was his favorite habit. However bitter it may be, this is the truth.”

After these bitter and heated discussions, Alia turned her attention to cleaning the wound on my foot and bandaging it. She said anxiously—

“It seems that this time we are going to become prey to the hunter.” I said—

“May Allah keep everyone safe from the oppression of the tyrant.”

While searching for a bandage, Ghada asked—

“Where is your cloth bag, Hajjah?” Despite the unbearable pain, I smiled faintly and said—

“For eighteen days, Mother, I have been in these bloodstained clothes.” She looked at the bloodied, torn garment I was wearing and began sobbing loudly. Then, when they lifted my shirt to change my clothes, both of them cried out and wept at the sight of the countless hunter blows on my body. They could not even imagine such merciless cruelty being inflicted on a woman.

To calm their feelings, I began speaking about praising Allah and the necessity of sacrifice and endurance on the path of Islam. I said—

“Look, this worldly punishment has come not for any worldly interest, but because we are advancing on Allah’s path. What is there to grieve about?……… Praise be to Allah that He has given us Islam, Tawhid, and Risalat, and sheltered us beneath the shade of the Kalima Tayyibah: La ilaha illallahu Muhammadur Rasulullah.” Alia changed the subject and said—

“Do you know, Muhtarama, Khalida Hujaibi said, ‘If sister Zaynab is with me, I will not care about any hardship in prison.’”

I was delighted to hear this. But if Khalida could see my wounded, blood-soaked body now, I do not know whether she would still hold that view. I supplicated before Allah to keep all Muslim brothers and sisters safe from the oppression of the tyrant.

Eating Food Is Like Worship

Meanwhile, the door suddenly opened, and our conversation stopped. That dark-skinned devil of a guard left three loaves in one hand and a plate of boiled semai in the other, then went away. After the guard left, Alia closed the door. I could not bear the stale smell of such food; at the same time, hunger had nearly brought me to the point of death. Alia was extremely concerned about me. When she brought the food to me, she said humbly—

“Here, Hajjah! The food seems fairly good.” Saying this, she divided the three loaves among the three of us. All three of us were forced to eat it, having no other choice. As she ate, Alia said that at least for the sake of the coming guest, she had to eat something. She was referring to her expected child. But when she saw me stop eating, she did the same. Ghada also left the food. Then Alia addressed me: “Look, Hajjah, you have become so thin from not eating. In this condition, eating is equivalent to worship. If you continue fasting like this, have you thought about where it will lead? The tyrants would be delighted to see Zaynab al-Ghazali die by any means. In fact, that is what they want.” I told her, “I am eating a little, just enough to remain alive. Allah is giving me the strength to survive on a single spoonful of salad.” But when they repeatedly urged me to eat, I finally agreed. Only Allah knows how difficult it was for me to eat that food. The next morning, in the presence of Alia and Ghada Ammar, I met Murshid Am Janab Hujaibi as usual through the opening in the door. I also gave Alia and Ghada the opportunity to do so. Meeting Murshid Am brought me extraordinary tranquility. Alia too was able to see her father regularly. Needless to say, Alia was Murshid Am Hujaibi’s daughter. On their way to and from the bathroom along the passage in front of our room, they would see Murshid and me. Ghada Ammar recounted, one by one, the circumstances of her own arrest, her meeting with Hamida Qutb, and the arrest of the entire Qutb family. In this way I learned much new information. Time passed extremely slowly. To escape our restlessness, we arranged congregational prayers and Dars-e-Qur’an.

The Night of Disaster

After the Isha prayer, the executioner Safwat Ruby entered the room with a soldier. They took me to the office. It may be noted that I had already visited that same office twice before. A man was already sitting in the office. I greeted him with Salam, but instead of returning the greeting, he asked in an extremely harsh voice—

“Are you Zaynab al-Ghazali?”

“Yes.” I replied. He gestured for me to sit in the chair opposite him and said—

“All right, so you are Zaynab Ghazali………! Tell me, why did you voluntarily choose such a terrible place………..? Why are you enduring all this suffering merely for the sake of the Ikhwan al-Muslimun?……… They are all struggling for freedom, and every one of them is putting all the blame on you. ……And meanwhile you have left us in difficulty. I have come resolved to secure your release and reach an agreement with you on several matters. After that you will go home. Not only that. If you act intelligently, I promise you on behalf of President Nasser that the headquarters of the Islamic Women’s Association will immediately be returned to you. ………The ban on your newspaper will be lifted, and it will be given a monthly subsidy of two thousand Egyptian pounds. If you reach an agreement, you will be assisted in expanding your organization further. If you say yes to an agreement right now, I will have all your clothes brought here and arrange for you to meet with the President within an hour. The Ikhwan have truly deceived you badly. May Allah forgive them. You too have placed us in great difficulty; nevertheless, our President is a very broad-minded man.”

He continued speaking one-sidedly while I listened silently. Seeing that I remained silent throughout, he asked—

“What is the matter? Why are you not saying anything? Look, Zaynab, try to understand what I am saying. I swear by Allah that the President will dismiss Abu Zayed and appoint you Minister in his place. We seek your cooperation. Please open your heart and tell us everything truthfully. In your dealings you will find that I prove to be your brother and well-wisher. You know how many people outside the prison love and respect you. They are ready to do anything for you. They love and revere you; they will do everything for you.”

This time I said calmly—

“Far from accepting a ministerial post, I am not willing even to give the thought any place. As for the Islamic Women’s Association and the newspaper, I will say only this: I have entrusted them to Allah. Besides, Muslims are not required to follow any organization or newspaper; rather, it is obligatory for everyone to work united beneath the banner of ‘La ilaha illallah.’” He interrupted with a question—

“Then, Zaynab, why were you trying to re-establish the Ikhwan al-Muslimun?” I said—

“Actually, the nature of my work is different. For example, I believe that the Islamic Women’s Association, founded in 1937, has never been dissolved. Jamal Nasser, however, thought that by seizing all the association’s property and its headquarters, he had effectively destroyed it. That is his mistaken ধারণা. In reality, our success or failure depends entirely on Allah’s will. You must have heard the proverb: ‘If God protects, who can harm?’ In this way, the Ikhwan or the Muslim women’s organization has not been broken. Its work for Allah’s Din continues naturally along its own path. Truth will always endure. The government and power of the Jamal Nassers are temporary, but Allah’s Din and Allah’s rule are eternal. We will ultimately die on our path. But the government will soon face bitter consequences for its illegal activities.”

“Undoubtedly, Allah’s Din will remain established, and no one can obstruct the devoted Mujahidin serving it; meanwhile, Allah’s decree will take effect. I pray to Allah that He keeps me on the side of truth and against falsehood, and includes me among the people of truth. Those who struggle for justice and truth and against falsehood and lies are the true representatives of the Messenger. They are the new standard-bearers of Islam. You should know that Hasan al-Banna did not establish the foundation of the Ikhwan without thought. Rather, through it he adopted a farsighted program for establishing the Din, that is, establishing Allah’s rule. Besides, who gave Jamal Nasser the authority to impose restrictions on such a great movement?”

Saying this, I fell silent. He said—

“You certainly can give a wonderful speech. But I have not come to you so that you can lecture me about the Ikhwan. I have not come to you to become an Ikhwan member; rather, I have come to try to reach a mutual agreement that will free you from the torment of prison. All the Ikhwan are blaming you. Abd al-Fattah Ismail says that you incited and armed him; Mr. Hujaibi too has placed all the blame on your shoulders to save himself. He says that you laid the foundation of the new organization. Sayyid Qutb also escaped by putting the blame on you. So, are you sane, or have you gone mad? Jamal Nasser himself wants to save you. Today the whole country is in Jamal Nasser’s grasp. Jamal Nasser is eager to forgive your past and begin a new chapter in your relationship. He knows very well how great an orator you are and how much the public loves you. ………Zaynab, the key to gain and loss is now in your hands. Tell me, can anyone be found in Egypt today whom Jamal Nasser himself wishes to befriend, yet that person refuses? I think you have truly gone mad. I am saying all this openly because I wish you well. Once released, you can spend the rest of your life serving orphans and widows and doing other good works.”

“Act intelligently, Zaynab! Keep in mind the honor of your family and accept my proposal.”

At last I said to him—

“Have you finished saying everything?” He replied—

“Look, just tell me which members of the Ikhwan used to visit your house and how they wanted to assassinate Nasser. And yes, when did you receive instructions from Hujaibi to assassinate the President? I also want to know Sayyid Qutb’s opinion. How was the plan prepared, and what were its details? Once again, I swear to you by the head of Jamal Abdun Nasser that you will be released from prison tonight and soon appointed Minister of Social Welfare. Do not waste this opportunity. I have sworn to you by the dignity of my President; therefore act wisely and think of your own interests. All the Ikhwan are now concerned only with their own interests.” At that moment, a tall man entered and said—

Colonel, we have seized all the cassettes from Zaynab’s residence in New Egypt and brought them here. With your permission, we can arrange for them to be played.

“Tell the colonel that he will discuss this matter later,” he said, ordering the man to leave. Then he addressed me and began speaking again—

“Look, Zaynab, I know that your husband is a distinguished man. I respect him greatly for your sake. Besides, your brother is also a close friend of mine! Believe me, the President and I ourselves are eager to establish friendly relations with you. I swear that the moment we reach an understanding with you, I will burn these cassettes with my own hands. We want to free you from the danger into which the Ikhwan have pushed you. By Allah, we too are good Muslims. What is Islam? Islam teaches that a person must not harm his brother.”

I laughed off his words and asked—

“Swear by the God whom you call to witness and tell me: as a result of your oppression, have your brothers and other people not suffered harm?”

Trying to evade the matter, he said—

“It is true that we are good people too! If you reach an understanding with us, you yourself will see how good we are.”

I said—

“I pray to Allah to grant you the tawfiq to repent and to make you become true Muslims.”

Then he took paper and a pen from his bag and asked—

“Zaynab, will you now tell me which people used to visit you?” I said—

“I cannot remember the name of any particular person. In fact, I do not remember people’s names, and it is not my habit to ask anyone’s name.”

“All right, then for the time being we will not discuss this. Come, let us discuss Mr. Huzaibi and Sayyid Qutb,” he said.

I asked—

“What sort of matter is this now?” He said it concerned an attempt to seize the government by assassinating Gamal Nasser.

I said—

“Look, sir! Assassinating Abdun Nasser would be an utterly vile act. No Muslim could even think of doing such a vile thing. The real problem concerns Islam. Islam has not been established in our country. Therefore, we have undertaken to establish Islamic ideals and, for that purpose, to train the younger generation. Yet Gamal Nasser and his men have begun a war against Islam. He refuses to govern according to Islam. He openly goes around saying that Islam is outdated, and accuses those who speak of Islam of sectarianism. Do Nasser’s vile words not provoke any reaction in you?”

Hearing this, he said—

“You really are mad! You know, if I killed you and buried you here, no one would ever find out; indeed, you deserve nothing less. If I release you right now, you will be killed within an hour.”

I said calmly—

“Allah does whatever He wills…” As soon as I completed this sentence, he became furious and began abusing me. Then, signaling to a soldier, he sent for Riyaz Ibrahim. When Riyaz arrived, he was told—

“Keep these tapes and cassettes for presentation in court.”

“…She is completely insane. You will continue to do your duty concerning her. Call Sa‘d so I can speak to him about this.” A few moments later, Sa‘d came and stood at attention, saluting him. He said to Sa‘d—

“Set her straight, Sa‘d.”

“How many lashes shall I give her, Pasha?” Sa‘d asked him.

“Five hundred lashes. I’ll be back shortly.”

As soon as he received the order, Sa‘d began lashing me. After lashing my entire body until he grew tired, he left me standing facing the wall as I was and went outside for a moment. Then he began lashing me again with renewed vigor. After that, several young Ikhwan activists were brought in, and he began beating them mercilessly, telling them to hurl vile abuse at me. But when the soldiers of truth—the Ikhwan—could not utter a single insult, they were beaten even more brutally. Among these young activists was Zia Tuwaiji, a pilot in the Egyptian air force. He had been arrested straight from his wedding ceremony while still wearing his wedding clothes.

Now It Was Hamza’s Turn

After beating me and the young Ikhwan activists severely, they sent me back to prison. Taking me to my assigned cell, Sa‘d made me stand facing the wall for as long as an hour. It was bitterly cold, and in the icy wind of the open space my whole body seemed to freeze into ice. On top of that was the pain from the lashes. The blood flowing from the wounds congealed and hardened. In this unbearable state, Hamza Bisiubi arrived there with Riyaz. As soon as Riyaz arrived, he said—

“Girl! Act sensibly. Think of your own welfare. It will be better for you… Hamza Pasha, explain it to her.” Hamza then began his speech—

“Zaynab! Use your intelligence. Do not behave foolishly. Why do you not admit your mistake, like all the other Ikhwan?”

I asked him—

“What mistake have I made that I should admit? Look, we organized ourselves to spread the teaching of tawhid among the younger generation.”

Hearing me, Hamza looked toward Safwat. Safwat had already come to stand behind him. He said to Safwat—

“Bring two chairs, one for me and one for her. Her husband is my friend. That is why I am making such an effort to explain things to her.” When the chairs were brought, he told me to sit.

He began thinking about how to start the discussion. Then he tried to present a fabricated account of his friendship with my husband and, on that basis, to express his sympathy for me. I was about to sit down, but given the condition of my body from the lashings, I could not sit at all. I was in terrible pain.

Hamza again told me to sit. I said to him—

“I cannot sit at present. Let me speak and listen while standing.”

He began speaking as follows—

“You have wronged yourself. Your face has become gaunt and pale. Your legs have taken on the appearance of a wild man’s legs. How sorrowful your husband would be if he saw you in this condition. Looking at you, one would think you were a sixty-year-old woman. Your husband is my friend. Seeing you like this makes me very sad. Just look at your hands… they look like a laborer’s hands.”

From behind, Safwat made a sarcastic remark and said—

“Pasha! You say she looks sixty, but to me she looks one hundred and twenty. Just look at her face—even her features have become distorted. These days her husband curses whenever he hears her name, and he will soon leave her and send her a divorce certificate by post from somewhere or other.”

Without commenting on these words, Hamza addressed me and said—

“You have set a challenge before me. I want to free you from your present misery. Believe me, I am your well-wisher.”

I stood silently, staring at him with a gaze filled with contempt. I do not know whether he understood my silent expression of hatred. In my view, however, he was the greatest coward of all.

Whenever he spoke to me threateningly, I felt that he was trying to conceal his own fear by frightening me. In fact, my steadfastness had made them apprehensive.

Suddenly, roaring like a wild beast, he ordered Safwat to discipline me. I immediately faced the wall and raised both hands high against it. Then the hunter in Safwat’s hand began dancing across my already wounded and lacerated back. He called another soldier named Sa‘d and made him stand beside me. He too held a hunter. Another soldier brought a vessel filled with hunters soaked in olive oil and placed it before me. The cruel Sa‘d drew my attention to those hunters boiled in hot olive oil. Then about a dozen more soldiers arrived, each holding a hunter boiled in hot oil, waving it in the air and hurling obscene abuse at me.

But I paid them not the slightest attention, accorded them no importance, and remained absorbed in the remembrance of Allah. I kept reciting that verse of the Holy Qur’an—

“(They are true believers) who, when told, ‘The people have gathered against you, so fear them,’ only have their faith increased and say, ‘Hasbunallahu wa ni‘mal-wakil’—Allah is sufficient for us, and He is the best Guardian.”

A little later, the ruthless Rubi came swaggering in and said—

“All of you… get out and wait… I am postponing her execution until tonight.”

Then he seized my hand, dragged me along, and took me toward the cell.

Return to the Cell

When the door opened, I entered the cell and saw Aliya and Gha’da Ammar asleep. Hearing me arrive, both awoke and became terribly alarmed when they saw blood running down my legs. I told them to go back to sleep, while I myself continued reciting the following hadith of the beloved Prophet—

“In the name of Allah I begin. By Allah’s great honor and infinite power, I seek refuge, by His command, from the evil of everything before me and behind me.”

In this way two nights passed, but the pain did not ease. I kept my whole body covered so that Aliya and Gha’da would not see the marks of the lashes. They kept pressing me to tell them what had happened that night. On the second day, when Gha’da asked about the events of that day, Aliya silenced her. Sensing a hint of some new proposal in Gha’da’s questions, I too remained silent.

The Second Night

After the ‘Isha prayer, the cell door opened and Safwat entered with his terrifying appearance. In his characteristically harsh voice, he said—

“You, girl, Zaynab—come,” he said, grabbing my hand and dragging me along. He kept shoving me as we walked. On the way we met a man, and he said—

“Safwat, Khalil is waiting for you.” Safwat hurled an insult at me and said—

“I’m taking her to him now.”

The man asked—

“Is this Zaynab al-Ghazali?”

Safwat cursed and said—

“Yes, this is Zaynab al-Ghazali.” A little later, I was taken into a room. A man with a hideous face was sitting across the table. The moment he saw me, he leapt to his feet almost like a demon-possessed patient. Then, pacing around the room, he said to Safwat—

“Go and call him in.”

Safwat entered with a man. The man sat down immediately and asked me—

“You old woman! Who are you?”

“Zaynab al-Ghazali,” I replied.

He asked—

“Why are you here?”

“How would I know?” I said……

He said—

“You ought to know that you are here because you, Huzaibi, Sayyid Qutb, and Abdul Fattah Ismail planned to assassinate President Nasser.”

I protested firmly—

“These are nothing but false accusations.”

He said—

“Watch your words. Tonight there will be no beating—only murder… You do not know who I am? I am the beast of the military prison. Do you understand?”

I said—

“Until I came to prison, I had not met a single human being, only beasts and dogs. The persecuted Ikhwan are an exception. The people’s beloved leaders are being brutally humiliated and tortured here at the hands of beasts and dogs.”

The man suddenly leapt up, kicked me hard, knocked me to the floor with a tremendous shove from both hands, and continued kicking me without stopping. I was almost rendered unconscious by this sudden assault. He was panting too. He fixed me with a sharp stare and said—

“I do not want to hear philosophical talk—speak properly.” Saying this, he slapped me hard across the face.

Safwat held me with both hands and seated me on a chair. Then he closed the door and left.

After a while, a second man came and said—

“Zaynab, what are you doing? Are you insulting and mocking people? You know, the President is a very broad-minded man. He wishes you well. We want to make you a state witness in the case. We will withdraw the charge against you concerning the plan you adopted together with the Ikhwan.”

I said—

“The Ikhwan al-Muslimun and I are not guilty. You are the guilty ones—guilty of forcibly ruling over a Muslim country.”

He said—

“You are either mad, or perhaps you have developed a psychological weakness. In any case, I am leaving you. But I will send someone who knows very well how to reach an understanding with you.”

After he left, I thanked Allah. He had not forced me to remain standing.

I was feeling extremely exhausted.

A little later, a man entered carrying a whip, told me to stand, and asked my name. I answered normally—

“Zaynab al-Ghazali.”

He said—

“You wretched girl! Tonight is the last night of your life. I will remain here until your final moment.”

Just then, another man arrived and said to the first—

“You go. I’ll stay with her for a while. This girl did many good deeds in her life. But in the end, she fell into the hands of the Ikhwan and has faced such great danger today.”

The first man said in amazement—

“Really? She did good deeds in this life?”

“But anyway, only a little time remains of her life. She will be killed within a short while.”

The second man said—

“Go on, you. I’ll see whether I can reach some settlement with her! What do you expect from her, anyway?”

The first man said—

“The President and his adviser both want her to become a state witness in the case and testify against the Ikhwan. The Ikhwan have already admitted their crimes.” Saying this, the first man left.

The second man now expressed feigned sympathy for me and said—

“Zaynab, why are you wronging yourself? Your clothes have been torn to shreds.”

Then he sat on the table and said—

“Gather all your wits, listen, and answer each of my questions.”

Seeing me remain silent, he said again—

“This morning I met your brother Abdul Momen and Saif, and your husband. Your husband really is a very good man. But you have created difficulties for him. I am eager to rescue you from this danger. For that, you only have to become a state witness. It is a very easy path.”

Then he called Safwat and said—

“She needs sleep and rest. Take her back to the cell.”

He said to me—

“And yes! We will meet again tomorrow; come after giving it careful thought.”

A Brief Rest

When I reached the cell, Aliya and Gha’da were asleep. Hearing me arrive, Aliya awoke. In a drowsy voice, she asked—

“You have returned, Alhajja?”

“Alhamdulillah,” I replied. I wanted to sleep, but sleep would not come. In the meantime, the call to Fajr prayer was given. We all performed the prayer in congregation. After the prayer, when Gha’da asked about the hardship of the night, I told her—

“Pray to Allah to keep me firm on the path of truth. They want to subject me to a new trial. They are demanding that I do something impossible.”

“Allah will certainly help you.” But Gha’da kept asking question after question to learn about the night. Since I was extremely tired and suffering pain, I could not tell her anything. In my mind, I was preparing to face the situation of the following night. Aliya sensed the seriousness of the situation and kept Gha’da quiet. Somehow, that day passed.

The Night of Oppression

At last, the night I had feared arrived. Aliya and Ghada Ammar prayed before Allah for my welfare and freedom and that of all the Ikhwan. The door opened, and a new man entered with Safwat. Taking me into a room, the new man ordered Safwat to leave, motioned for me to sit on a chair, and said—

Zaynab! You have disappointed and turned away everyone who came to help and support you. Today I, too, have come to you! I hope our Lord will help me and that Allah will guide you to the right path. Rather than speaking on behalf of the Ikhwan, I hope you will concentrate on the fact that they misled you and dragged you into this precarious situation. You have been deceived about them. Think about it: do they truly want to implement Islamic ideals, or are they using Islam’s name to gain power? We want you to take a broad-minded view of us. Mr. Huzaybi has said such things about you that you could even be sentenced to death. Sayyid Qutb has also supported Mr. Huzaybi’s position. We do not, of course, accept what they say, because we want to free you from this conflict. We want to make you a state witness for the government. We want you to return home now, and whenever your testimony is needed, we will send someone—or I will go myself—to bring you. If you agree with me on this, I can arrange for you to meet the President and his adviser. In addition, the President will immediately issue an order returning you to the headquarters of your organization. Not only that, the President will appoint you to a senior ministerial post and award you honorary degrees from every university in the country. It has now become clear how the Ikhwan betrayed you. They are placing the entire burden of blame on your shoulders and mine while seeking a way to save themselves.

The man continued speaking in this manner, while I listened silently. As he spoke, he also tried to read the reaction on my face. Then he pressed the calling bell on the table and summoned Safwat. Looking at me, he said—

You drink qahwa (a type of coffee), don’t you? Shall I have a bowl brought for you?

I said—

Thank you very much. I do not need anything for the moment. In response to my answer, he sent Safwat to bring tea for him and said—

Zaynab, I am giving you paper and a pen. Write down everything on which we have reached agreement.

I said in astonishment—

I have not agreed with you on anything. I do not even know what I am supposed to write.

As he handed me the paper and pen, he said—

You still have not properly understood your own interests.

You still have not properly understood your own interests. President Gamal Nasser wants to help you and is willing to rescue you from this case.

I asked—

What case? A case because the people are uniting to understand the faith properly? In fact, the case should be brought against the President, his advisers, and their associates. They are responsible for the country’s moral and ethical decline, the spread of obscenity, and the importation of atheistic ideas. They have created disorder in the country. If I must write, I will write about the overall reality of this impoverished country. I can write only the truths that are clear to me and that have come to my attention.

He said—

I know, Zaynab, that you are a highly educated woman and that your talent is exceptional; I hope you do not wish for your situation to become even more miserable. Here are the paper and pen. Think carefully and write down what is best for you; I am leaving. And yes, as you write, remember that the President wants to keep you free from the case. The subject of the case has been explained to you. I repeat: Huzaybi and Sayyid Qutb both planned the assassination of Gamal Nasser and the seizure of the government. According to their statements, Zaynab al-Ghazali herself devised the scheme. They are placing all the blame on you to save themselves. They even say that you alone are responsible for these events and that they face danger today because of you. Now write. But think very carefully as you write about your own views and the Ikhwan’s opinion of you. They are blaming you for everything. In our view, they led you astray and incited you, then withdrew themselves. Tell me, was that bravery or cowardice?

Then he left me alone with the paper and pen. I began to write properly—

A hundred regrets upon this wretched paper and pen, which have fallen into the hands of a tortured prisoner in a cell. We had gathered with the young Ikhwan to study Islamic jurisprudence, Hadith, the Sunnah of the Messenger, the exegesis of the Holy Qur’an, and related subjects. We read Ibn Hazm’s al-Muhalla, Ibn Qayyim’s Zad al-Ma‘ad, Hafiz Montazeri’s al-Targhib wa al-Tarhib, Sayyid Qutb’s In the Shade of the Qur’an, and Milestones. We studied biographies of the Noble Messenger and the Companions in order to learn how the Islamic way of life is established. These studies were conducted with the permission and supervision of Imam Huzaybi. Their purpose was to attract the younger generation toward sound thinking and righteous deeds and to prepare the ground for proper leadership. We felt the need to cultivate genuine workers in the hope of re-establishing Islamic ideals in the world. After detailed discussion, review, and reflection, we decided to organize the youth. Our aim was to guide the uneducated and misguided youth of society onto the right path. To achieve this aim, we adopted a thirteen-year plan. We would then conduct a nationwide survey. If it showed that the proportion of people committed to Islamic ideals was below twenty-five percent, we decided to implement another thirteen-year plan. In this systematic manner, we would assess the situation a second, third, and fourth time. This training work would continue until seventy-five percent of the country’s people became active supporters of Islamic ideals. What is there in this to make Gamal Nasser afraid? And why should those of you connected with the government be so afraid? Several decades might pass before we achieved our aim. Then why are your hearts trembling with anxiety? Our plan contains nothing about killing Nasser. Killing him is no problem; rather, the whole nation faces a problem greater than killing many men like him. Far from killing anyone, even harming an animal slightly is beyond our imagination. Yet you are plotting to kill countless believing Muslims unjustly by making such baseless and false accusations. Instead, answer me this: who ordered you to detain and torture us indiscriminately and carry out a plan to kill us? Are you committing these unjust and illegal acts on the orders of the Jews, or at the command of the socialist Shikh-Danties? The atheistic Communists and Socialists, the anti-religious Christian exploitative capitalists of the West, and the Zionists are deeply worried by the Islamic revival among Muslims. The slogan of Islamic revolution has robbed them of their day-and-night comfort. Yes, indeed! They cannot stand the name of Islam. That is why they have unleashed their intelligence services against the Islamic movement throughout the Muslim world, and through their kept agents they are carrying out plots to harass and kill the mujahids of Islam.

But know that Allah will spread His light and humiliate the unbelievers. If you kill us today, tomorrow an irresistible caravan of millions of believers will come forward to uphold Islam’s banner.

As for the magazine of the Muslim Women’s Association, the organization’s headquarters, or this entire world around us, I will say only this: we depend on nothing. We seek only Allah’s pleasure and the establishment of Allah’s religion in Allah’s world. I wrote my statement and signed below it with my name, “Zaynab al-Ghazali.”

When Safwat Ruby came inside and asked for the written pages, I gave them to him. He took them outside. After a while, the man who had brought the paper and pen came to me. He had several sheets of paper in his hand. Of course, they were not written by me. But he cut and tore those papers and threw them down in such a way as if he wanted me to understand that he had torn my own written pages into pieces.

This time he called Safwat and said—

Take her, Safwat… This girl is fit to be hanged; the people were right to decide to kill her. I came to help her. Since she rejected my offer, let her be hanged now. Saying this, he went away. Then Safwat began beating me like an animal. He punched me with both hands and kept kicking me. When he grew tired, he locked me in the cell and left.

I wondered: when I had repeatedly made my position clear both orally and in writing, what did they ultimately want to obtain from me through threats and temptations? They should now realize that nothing could make me abandon my principles. Or were they seeking relief by killing me according to a predetermined program? I had explained everything clearly more than once; nothing was hidden, and everything had been stated plainly and explained. What, then, did they want?

The Suitcase and President Nasser’s Letter

When the cell door closed, I seemed to have entered another world. My whole body, every joint and limb, seemed to be coming apart. I was restless with pain, burning, and agony. I could find no relief. I could not sit or stand. I tried to lie down stiffly for a while, but the pain was unbearable. I writhed in intolerable agony from the blows of whips and hunters, punches, and kicks. They had battered my entire body until it was covered in wounds, and their unspeakable, filthy abuse had darkened my soul. As I turned from side to side in agitation and pain, the dawn call to prayer was heard. Aliya and Ghada Ammar awoke for prayer. We performed the prayer after tayammum. My condition then answered every question. It was clear what had happened and why. Aliya said to me—

The doctor gave me sleeping pills. Will you take one…? I said—

You may give me one. I took it intending to sleep. But where was sleep to come from? How could sleep come to a body shattered by blows and a mind restless from injury? There is no recourse except Allah’s mercy. I find peace only in Allah’s name. Even amid such torture, I feel within myself an unknown strength for prayer and reciting Allah’s Qur’an.

Ghada Ammar marked the dates by making lines on the cell wall. She said—

Today is October eighteenth. I said—

By Allah’s grace, the remaining days will pass as well. Aliya said—

God willing.

At four in the afternoon, the cell door opened and two soldiers entered with Safwat. They were carrying a very large suitcase. I recognized it as soon as I saw it. It had been brought from my home. Safwat opened the suitcase, took out an item, and said as he showed it to me—

Zaynab, we had these clothes and belongings brought from your home. Then he put everything back into the suitcase and closed it. It seemed that I was going to be sent somewhere on a long journey. I asked him—

Who had these brought, and who brought them? Safwat said—

We had them brought, and your sister Hayat delivered them here. He then told the soldiers to leave and departed himself a little later. When I saw the executioner returning, I closed my eyes in annoyance and suddenly lost consciousness. Aliya and Ghada immediately began massaging my hands and the soles of my feet. When their efforts restored my consciousness, they comforted me, saying—

It is nothing, Alhajja! It is very simple! Your clothes have been ruined, so perhaps they brought you some good clothes. There is no other special reason.

I said to Aliya—

This is a sign of an impending crisis, Aliya!

No, Alhajja! They must have brought these simply because you needed them, Aliya said.

I said—

No, Aliya, no! Could this be another trial? Why would they bring only my clothes? I did not ask them to bring them—an immense calamity is about to befall me… May Allah keep me firm upon the truth and save me from danger.

We were performing the Asr prayer. Suddenly Safwat entered, shoved me out of the prayer, and dragged me away, saying—

Come with me. He then locked Aliya and Ghada in the cell and took me away. He led me to a separate gallery. Then I was pushed into a narrow, dark, foul-smelling place. It was a terrifying place filled with snake and rat holes. The intense cold, stench, and dreadful silence terrified me. With tears in my eyes, I prayed to Allah and sought His help to face the crisis. “Know that when Allah’s name is recited, an indescribable strength and peace enter the soul.

Suddenly a light appeared, and Safwat came inside, held out his hand, and said—

Here, take this letter and read it.

I opened the letter and saw that it was written in printed letters—

“The President’s Office. Then, in typewritten letters, it stated—

“By order of President Abdun Nasser, Zaynab al-Ghazali is to be subjected to harsher torture and more painful punishment than men.”

Signature

Gamal Abdun Nasser

President of Egypt.

The letter also bore the government emblem and a special presidential seal. After reading the President’s letter, I handed it back to Safwat and said—

Allah is far greater and more powerful than all of you. Allah is sufficient for us.

He looked at me murderously, showered me with unspeakable abuse, closed the cell door, and left.

A little later, I was startled to hear Safwat’s voice again; he was saying—

Attention! Be careful!

When the cell door opened, I saw Bisyuni. He came inside and said—

You are being given another hour to think more carefully and make your decision. Properly understand what is in your own interest. We have had the clothes you need brought for your meeting with President Gamal Nasser and his adviser, Abdul Hakim. After that, your view of the case will change. Looking at Safwat, he said—

Read the President’s letter aloud to her. Safwat read the letter again.

“By order of President Abdun Nasser, Zaynab al-Ghazali is to be subjected to harsher torture and more painful punishment than men.”

Signature

Gamal Abdun Nasser

President of Egypt.

Hamza took the letter from Safwat, handed it to me, and said—

Here, you madwoman! Read the letter and try to understand its contents properly.

I said—

I have already read this letter. He said—

Read it again. Where is the hunter, Safwat? I took the letter and read it again. Then I threw it to the ground and said—

You sinful children of unbelievers; I am telling you to get out. My Lord is mighty… Hamza Bisyuni went outside the cell and called the soldiers. The soldiers came in carrying the suitcase of clothes and shouted—

We are giving you another hour. These are your clothes. Think carefully and do what is best for yourself. The solution to the problem is now in your hands.

Then they closed the cell door and left. I prayed before Allah—

“O Pure Sustainer! Give me strength and courage so that I may face the danger.”

After an hour, Safwat’s harsh voice was heard—

Attention, be careful! Hamza Bisyuni is coming. Hamza entered and, seeing me, asked—

What is the matter? You still have not put on the clothes. So you want death, do you? I said—

I do not care. I have sacrificed myself. Hamza said—

All right, Safwat, this woman is offering her life in exchange for the lives of Sayyid Qutb and Huzaybi. They want freedom from her. They will now be acquitted without blame… Safwat dragged me forcefully toward an unknown destination. As I passed beside the gallery, I raised my voice in the cry, “Allahu Akbar.” My purpose was for Aliya and Ghada Ammar to hear me. For, as Hamza Bisyuni had said, I thought this might be the final moment of my life.

Chapter Four

The Torture by Shams Badran

Safwat walked with me for a long time until we reached Officer Hani’s office. Hani then took me to Shams Badran’s office.

Do you know who this Shams Badran is? A depraved man lower than a merciless, brutal beast. More vicious and savage than a hyena, this man has established a terrible record of oppressing people. When he gets hold of believing Muslims, he becomes even more terrifying. He tortures Muslims by a particular method, with such brutality, severity, and ferocity that an accurate description is impossible. With all his strength, he tries to destroy Muslims’ creed and faith and turn Muslims into non-Muslims through beatings. Of course, all his bestial efforts ultimately fail.

When I arrived, he asked with extreme arrogance and contempt—

Zaynab al-Ghazali! You’re still alive?

Yes! I answered in the same calm, measured word.

Hamza Bisyuni’s office was right beside Shams Badran’s. Behind me, Safwat stood ready with two other executioners, whips in hand. The glossy black tips of the whips flickered like tongues of fire.

Shams Badran said arrogantly—

You girl… Zaynab…! There is still time; correct your attitude… Look after your own welfare. I also want to be free of the trouble you are causing and turn my attention to others. …By the honor of Abdun Nasser! I will cut you to pieces with blow after blow from the hunter.

In the same calm voice, I said—

Whatever Allah wills comes to pass; He alone is Almighty.

He said—

You girl! What astonishing insolence you are showing! I remained silent.

This time he asked—

What is your relationship with Sayyid Qutb and Huzaybi? I answered in my normal voice—

A relationship of Islamic brotherhood.

Like a fool, he asked—

What kind of brotherhood?

I said again—

: Islamic brotherhood.

: What is Sayyid Qutb’s profession? he asked.

I said—

: Professor Imam Sayyid Qutb was a brave mujahid in the path of Allah, a mufassir of the Holy Qur’an—that is, an exegete—a mujaddid and a mujtahid.

He asked like a fool—

: What do these words mean?

This time I spoke slowly and clearly, placing special emphasis on each word—

: Professor Sayyid……Qutb……leader……and teacher……hero of Islamic thought……writer……famous man of letters and a true follower of the Messenger of God…….

When he silently gestured toward the executioners, the executioners pounced on me with their whips and lashes.

After the beating had continued for a long time, he asked again—

: You girl! What is Huzaibi’s profession?

I replied—

: Professor Imam Hasan al-Huzaibi is the leader and imam of the Muslims. He is affiliated with the Ikhwan al-Muslimun. He is committed to establishing the rules and regulations of Islamic Shariah. He is a mujahid in the path of Allah. His aim is for the entire Muslim ummah to return to the path of the Qur’an and Sunnah…….

Before I could finish speaking, the whips and lashes once again began setting my back on fire.

Shams Badran said, burning with rage—

: You girl……! You are spouting nothing but rubbish and meaningless nonsense!

Hasan Khalil was also present there. He said—

: Pasha, let her speak. An important piece of information is about to be discovered. Then he came before me, held my hand, and asked—

: Have you read Sayyid Qutb’s book Ma‘alim fi al-Tariq—Milestones? I replied—

: Yes, of course I have.

Several senior officers were present there. They had come to enjoy the brutal torture inflicted on me. One of them said—

: Will you tell us the gist of this book? I said, “Yes. Bismillahir-Rahmanir-Rahim, was-salatu was-salamu ‘ala Rasulihil-amin”—I begin in the name of Allah, the Most Compassionate, the Most Merciful. Endless blessings and peace be upon the trustworthy Messenger……

But Shams Badran did not let me continue. He clapped his hands in a strange manner and asked me—

: Do you think you have found a mosque pulpit? Remember, we are not in a mosque…… we are in a church. Along with this, he hurled filthy abuse.

Hasan Khalil said—

: Forgive me, Pasha! ……All right, Zaynab, what lesson did you learn from Ma‘alim fi al-Tariq?”

This time I said solemnly—

: Ma‘alim fi al-Tariq is the famous work of the exegete, literary writer, and mujtahid Sayyid Qutb. In it, he has called the Muslim ummah to return to the shade of Islam. He has called Muslims to rise again on the foundation of belief in tawhid…… He showed misguided and astray people the light of the Qur’an and Sunnah…… He urged them to repent for their errors and advance along the path of religion, and called upon the Muslim ummah to emerge from the darkness of ignorance and raise the torch of Islamic ideals. He said that Islam is the only path to salvation and progress. Islam is the only path to peace and prosperity. Until Muslims adopt the path of Islam, their fate will not change. For this reason, the Qur’an must be read and understood. One must advance toward the achievement of one’s aims and objectives. He said that Muslims must respond to the call of knowledge, intellect, and conscience. They must follow tawhid and risalat. For only the ideals of tawhid and risalat can assure the Muslim ummah a brighter life.

For a few moments after hearing me, everyone sat in silent stillness. Then Hasan Khalil broke the silence with a remark typical of Ahmad—

: I see she is a good orator; she can deliver an excellent speech. Another man said—

: Besides that, she is also a writer and journalist. Then he read out a passage from an editorial in the newspaper published under my editorship, which had been seized when I was arrested.

But Shams Badran did not like any of this. Cutting him off, he glared at me viciously and said stupidly—This girl cannot understand anything.

: Immediately after he said this, the executioners pounced on me again with their whips. As they beat me, they said—

: Tell the Pasha everything exactly.

From Hasan Khalil’s manner of speaking, it was clear that he was laying a trap to ensnare me. He told them—

: It does not matter. Why such haste?

Then he turned to me and said—

: I want to know the significance of the la ilaha illallahu Muhammadur Rasulullah that you have adopted as your most beloved and important slogan. I said—

: Well, the beloved Prophet Hazrat Muhammad (peace be upon him), addressing all humanity, said that it does not befit human beings to worship idols, people, or any other object or power. Man is the representative of the One Allah. Among all living beings and things in creation, human beings possess the greatest dignity and importance. Therefore, man must worship no one except the One Allah. He must bow his head only before the One Allah, and before no one else anywhere. In brief, this is the meaning of la ilaha illallah. And Muhammadur Rasulullah means that Muhammad (peace be upon him) is Allah’s chosen final Messenger. Through him, Allah sent Islam—the eternal, everlasting way of life for humanity—to be established on earth. The Qur’an and Sunnah are the essence of Islam. To place complete faith in Allah, His Messenger Muhammad, and therefore the Qur’an and Sunnah, and to present their practical example in every sphere of life is an absolute duty. In short, this is the significance of our Kalimah Tayyibah.

Shams Badran seemed to flare up at these words. He shouted—

: Stop this rubbish.

: At once, his pet brutes began raining hunters and whips upon me. Thinking that the prey was nearing his trap, Hasan Khalil said to Shams—

: Pasha! Give me a little more time, for my sake.

Then he looked at me and said—

: What is your opinion of us? Are we Muslims or infidels?

I said—

: Test yourself against the touchstone of the Qur’an and Sunnah. It will become clear what you are, and whether your relationship with Islam is one of hostility or friendship.

Hearing this, Shams Badran exploded with rage. He said whatever came into his mouth. He began hurling extremely filthy and obscene abuse. I remained silent. What else could I do? Even then he did not calm down; he began panting and leaping like a savage beast. He continued ranting—

You know nothing about the bestial regime of Jamal Nasser. Blind barbarism reigns under it, and it will sweep everything away like straw before a violent storm. His men are accustomed to devouring travelers on the road like hungry tigers…….

Shams Badran looked toward Safwat and said—

It seems even beating her will not subdue her; hang her upside down. Safwat went outside and returned with a thick iron rod and two wooden stands. Three more executioners followed behind him, whips in hand.

When the arrangements for hanging me were complete, I asked them for a pair of full-length trousers to wear.

Hasan Khalil said to Badran—

: That does not matter. Then Shams Badran ordered that full-length trousers be brought for me. A soldier hurriedly brought them. Shams Badran said—

: Go to that room and put on the trousers.

When I went to put on the trousers, I saw a huge centrally air-conditioned room. It was a well-furnished hall filled with high-quality furniture, a floor covered in expensive carpets, and every luxury amenity. In any case, after putting on the full-length trousers I returned, and on Shams Badran’s orders I was suspended in the air. I do not clearly remember how they tied my hands and feet together and hung me up. But I remember Shams Badran issuing orders to the men handling my suspension as though he were commanding soldiers on a battlefield.

Once I had been tied up and hung, he barked—

: Give her five hundred lashes. At once, that savage spectacle of torture began. It seemed they were competing to see who could beat me harder, and the pain and suffering caused by their combined assault can be imagined. Nevertheless, I did not show my weakness before those beasts. I endured the terrifying blows of their canes and whips, remembering Allah’s name and seeking peace in my heart. But when the pain exceeded the limits of endurance, it was no longer possible to suffer in silence. I raised a cry of supplication at the door of that Almighty whose knowledge encompasses everything, public and secret alike. I cried, “Ya Allah—Ya Allah,” while every lash made my pain still more intense. I continued calling only upon Allah until I lost consciousness. Unconscious, I fell to the ground like a lifeless body. They tried to make me stand and hang me up again, but could not. Not the slightest strength remained in me to stand. Whenever I tried, I fell again. My pain was exceeding the limits of endurance. Blood was streaming from both my feet, while Shams Badran ordered Safwat to make me stand and hang me up again. When, overcome with agony, I tried to lean against the wall, Safwat whipped me and drove me away from it. Having no other choice, I said—

: Let me sit on the floor for a little while.

In response, Shams Badran said—

: You will not be allowed to sit at all. Where is your Allah? Call him and let us see him save you from our hands! Instead, call Abdun Nasser and see what good that does. I paid no attention to the words of such a vile fool and remained silent. He swaggered and said—

: Tell me, where is your Allah now?

Seeing me remain silent, he shouted again—

Where is your Allah? Answer me!

This time I said in a tear-choked voice—

: Allah the Pure is Almighty and the best of planners.

Then I was sent straight from Shams Badran’s office to the hospital.

Water Cel’l

As I was leaving Shams Badran’s office, I began to have difficulty breathing. I felt the need to sit for a few moments and bring my breathing back to normal. It felt as though all my limbs had come loose. But there was no remedy; the executioners were incapable of understanding human pain. When Safwat dragged me to the farthest gallery of the hospital, Hasan Khalil suddenly called from behind—

: Safwat, come back. The Pasha is calling Zaynab. Thus, on Shams’s orders, I had to return. As soon as I entered the office, I saw Sister Hamida Qutb before me. I recognized her the moment I saw her, but because my physical appearance had been distorted, she did not recognize me at once. Hunger, thirst, and the unspeakable torture inflicted upon me every moment had disfigured my body, face, and complexion. Shams Badran asked the محترمة Hamida Qutb—

: Is this Zaynab al-Ghazali?

Hearing the question, Hamida looked at me intently and said in a subdued voice—

: Yes.

I was then in a state between unconsciousness and semi-consciousness. Therefore, I could not remember the details of the interrogation and conversation with Sister Hamida Qutb. However, from something I heard, it seemed that Shams Badran was asking Sister Hamida Qutb about Sister Isa Fatima. She was in the cell beside mine.

While Hamida Qutb was answering Shams Badran’s questions, he ordered me to leave.

As soon as I left his office, I lost consciousness completely and fell to the floor. Safwat sent for a nurse through the soldier Abdul Mabud. The nurse opened the cap of a vial and made me smell it, after which I regained consciousness. Then the executioner Safwat made me stand and, twirling the whip in his hand, said—

: Walk faster—faster!

While walking, I again lost consciousness and fell to the ground. When I came to, he made me stand again and ordered me to walk quickly. At the same time, he was using his hunter on me. The hunter’s blows fell on my wounded body like blazing fire. Repeatedly rising, falling, and being beaten left me utterly exhausted. The executioner’s frenzied whip was terribly merciless. O Allah! Are these people too, humans created by You? What strange creatures they are—they walk relying on two feet and one whip. Just then, someone seemed to order—

: Put her in cell number five. Another order came—

: Take her to the water cell.

Safwat put me into a room and told me to sit, then summoned a nurse, who bandaged my wounds.

When the cell door opened, I saw an iron wall behind it. It was as high as a large tree. He lifted me onto that wall and ordered me to jump down. Hearing him, my entire being seemed to freeze with fear. I could not even find the strength to move an inch. Beyond the wall I saw a water-filled pit. Gathering all my strength, I said to Safwat—

: I will not take off my clothes under any circumstances. He gave a cruel laugh and said—

: You will enter the water wearing only one garment. I said—

: I am wearing only a sheet wrapped around me. He said contemptuously—

: You will be dead within an hour anyway. Take off the full-length trousers too.

I said—

: I will return them to you after going to the room. He countered—

: What room? I will throw you into this pit right now.

I said—

: Then turn around. He turned his back to me, and I removed the full-length trousers and returned them. Thus, the full-length trousers I had been given to wear when I was sent to Shams Badran’s office were returned.

Now, wearing my tattered old clothes, I wondered what I should do! When Safwat told me to jump into the water, I stood my ground and said—

: No, I will not commit suicide. If you want to kill me, you yourselves must bear full responsibility for it.

I thought they had truly made the final decision to kill me. The situation seemed to indicate this. For what other purpose could there be behind the extraordinary torture, unspeakable abuse, threats, and order to jump into the water pit? It was clear that they wanted me dead. If they wished, they could push me into the pit and kill me. To be martyred in the path of Allah was my desire. I was saying—

: O Allah, pure Lord and Sustainer. I welcome a martyr’s death in the path of Your religion…… I greet it with joy.

The executioner came and whipped me, forcing me to jump into the water. But I refused to jump of my own accord. Then the relentless rain of lashes began flooding my back with blood like monsoon rain. In the end, unable to bear it, I collapsed on the ground. Seeing this, Safwat, together with Sa‘d and Samb, dragged me up and threw me into the water pit.

When I fell below, I found solid ground beneath my feet. Then I realized my mistake: this was not a water pit but a water cell—a vile method of punishment. I raised my hands before Allah and said—

: O Lord of the worlds! I have entrusted all my affairs to You. I seek only Your pleasure. As long as I live, I will remain steadfast on the path of Your pleasure. O Allah, I seek Your pleasure and love. Grant me patience and courage so that I may face every danger while walking in Your path.

Meanwhile, Safwat continued to whip me mercilessly.

As he whipped me, he said—

: Sit.

: How can I sit in so much water? It is impossible!

The tyrant Safwat used his mouth and whip simultaneously as he said—

: Sit the way you sit to pray. You ought to know that very well. Sit…… Try sitting, quickly. … Only Jamal Nasser knows how to discipline the Ikhwan…… I said sit…… Hey, girl, are you listening?

When I somehow managed to sit, the water had risen to my chin. Safwat said—

Beware! You must not move even a hair’s breadth in any direction. You will not be able to move your hands, feet, or any part of your body! Jamal Nasser has ordered us to give you one thousand blows with the hunter daily…… So we will hit you ten times with the hunter for every movement.

Once I entered that unimaginably terrible environment, I became so distraught that I even lost the sensation of sorrow and pain. Yet when the water touched my wounds, their pain became many times more intense. In that state, without Allah’s special mercy, I would have been unable to endure such sorrow and suffering. In the intensity of the agony, I even forgot the executioners Safwat, Sa‘d, and Samb. On top of that, Safwat began whipping me again, making the bitterness of the surroundings even more severe. As he wielded his whip, Safwat said—

: Listen, you wretched woman! If you try to sleep, this whip will wake you; you will sit motionless exactly like this. …… You see that opening in the door? Your condition will be watched through it. If you try to stand even slightly, stretch your hands or feet, or look this way or that, the whip will be ready to straighten you…… We have placed you right in the middle of the cell. Don’t you dare try to approach the wall! If you try to go near the wall, ten lashes. Stretch your legs, ten lashes; stretch your arms…… ten lashes… move your head, ten lashes… Remember, a thousand lashes will be completed daily in this manner. Let us see whether Huzaibi or Sayyid Qutb can save you…… Remember, this is Nasser’s hell. Even if you spend your whole life shouting Allah’s name, no one will come to save you. But if, by good fortune, you call out Abdun Nasser’s name, the gates of paradise will instantly be opened for you. Do you understand? Abdun Nasser’s paradise…… If you do not understand, much harsher punishment awaits you. If you obey me, I am prepared to intercede with Pasha for your release. You will go to him and do exactly as he tells you. Then there will be no more sorrow or worry. Tell me, are you mad? An idiot? For whom, and for what, are you ruining your life? For the Ikhwan? They have confessed everything. Now the hangman’s rope is hanging over your head.

I sat impassively listening to his prattle. That fool, imbecile, idiot, and stubborn, arrogant man was incapable of understanding the language of my face. So he continued:

Obey my orders; think carefully about my words and arrange for your own release…… Otherwise, your death is certain tomorrow morning, Zaynab.

Even then I said nothing. He became enraged and said:

Why aren’t you answering, eh?

Still I remained silent, and he continued his speech:

: Look, I am showing you a very easy way out. I will take you to Pasha. You will merely tell him how Sayyid Qutb and Huzaibi planned to assassinate Nasser.

Unable to bear any more of his nonsense, I said loudly with all my strength:

: Every member of the Ikhwan is innocent and blameless. Allah will soon redress the force and oppression you have inflicted. We seek no worldly interest; Allah’s pleasure is our supreme desire…… Enough. What is to happen will happen.

Hearing me, Safwat stood there and hurled obscene abuse at me for half an hour. Then, as he left, he said:

: Well, I have informed you of the order concerning your daily punishment.

After he left, I wondered how I could move at all. If I stretched my legs, my nose and mouth would sink into the water. So there was no way except to stand. What else could I do? I would simply have to endure ten lashes. Trusting in Allah, I rose to my feet in the water.

I thought the guard soldier was asleep. Hearing the Fajr call to prayer, I struck my hands against the wall and performed tayammum; I was praying two rak’ahs of Sunnah first and then two rak’ahs of obligatory prayer by gesture when the door opened and the guard came in and began raining blows with his whip. I hurriedly finished the prayer and sat down again in the water, which reached my chin. The water was so filthy and foul-smelling that it could not be used for ablution.

When I sat down, the door was closed again. I repeatedly recited, ‘Hasbunallahu wa ni’mal-wakil.’ Gradually I began to doze, but as soon as my chin sank into the water, the drowsiness stopped.

In this way, each guard entered my cell five times in succession to whip me. My movements were as natural as ever, and so the whipping was considered absolutely necessary.

Crime

Around the time of Chasht, that is, about nine o’clock, Safwat came, took me out of the water cell, and locked me in another cell beside it. I leaned against one of the cell walls and sat down. Even that hard stone wall then seemed to me as soft as a pillow of cotton. With pain, suffering, and hunger, I was nearly at death’s door; hunger burned in my stomach, and the pain of my wounds seemed to tear me to pieces. The wounds of my body and the wounds of my heart combined to create such an unimaginable, indescribably agonizing torment that it cannot be compared with anything.

In this unbearable condition, Safwat appeared, twirling a whip and bringing with him a dark-skinned devil. Standing there, Safwat ordered the dark-skinned devil:

: Engage in the most vile act with her. If she protests or resists in any way, this whip is here to bring her under control.

Hearing this vile, satanic order, I cried out to Allah and said:

: O Allah, Protector of life and honor! I am Your servant, and I remain steadfast in my resolve to stay firm on the path of Your pleasure…… Because of my weakness, I beg You for at least this much help: protect my honor from Satan’s schemes and the hands of sinners, and help me against the oppressor.

Truly, how boundless is Allah’s glory: the man appointed to inflict inhuman torture upon me, the sight of whom and the sound of whose voice had almost made me lose consciousness, addressed me as ‘Auntie.’ I turned my gaze toward him in astonishment. The hideousness had now disappeared from his face. His eyes and face shone with a strange radiance. In a clear voice he said:

: Auntie, do not be afraid. Even if they cut me to pieces, I will not cause you the slightest grief. Choked with emotion and overcome with joy, I said:

: My son…… my dear child! May Allah grant you guidance…… May Allah reward you with the finest reward. Suddenly the cell door flew open. Striking the man with his whip, Safwat continued:

: You accursed son of a dog! By refusing to obey my order, you have put yourself in danger. I am sending you to court-martial immediately…… Son of a dog! You have disobeyed Jamal Nasser’s order…… If you want to save your life, obey my order before I take you to Shams Pasha. I am giving you one hour. Let us see whether you do it; if you wish to remain alive, start at once.

Safwat left through the opening in the door after issuing these orders.

From inside the cell, the soldier saluted Safwat and said:

: The master’s order is my command.

Fearfully, I remembered Allah’s name even more and sought His help to protect me from this imminent danger. I thought that, having received new orders and for the sake of his own life, the soldier would now be forced to torture me. Perhaps he would pounce on me like a hungry beast. But no! He truly displayed courage. Smiling like an innocent child, he asked me:

: Mother, why are they treating you so cruelly?

I explained to him:

: My son, we call people to the path of truth and peace prescribed by Allah, and we demand the establishment of an Islamic social system for the welfare of the people of the country. We seek no power or wealth for ourselves. In the eyes of the oppressors, this is our crime.

Hearing the Zuhr call to prayer, I struck my hands against the wall, performed tayammum, and prayed. When I raised my hands to make supplication, he asked me to pray for him as well. I prayed for his overall welfare, and when I stood for the Sunnah prayer, he said again:

: Auntie, pray to Allah that I too may become one who performs prayer…… Auntie, it seems to me that you are not human, but something greater than human, and yet these people are causing you unjust suffering…… O followers of Nasser, may Allah destroy you utterly.

I asked him:

: Do you know how to perform ablution?

He said:

: Yes, I do. I used to pray regularly. But when they saw me praying, they arrested me and imprisoned me.

I said to him:

: My dear son! Whether they imprison you or inflict some other suffering on you, continue to pray regularly. Allah will always be your helper.

Hearing my words, a heavenly radiance appeared in his eyes and on his face. He said enthusiastically:

: Yes, Mother, I will pray.

At that very moment, a soldier peered through the opening in the door and, kicking the door repeatedly, addressed him:

: Hey, son of a dog, what are you doing?

He replied:

: She has not yet finished her prayer…… The soldier clapped his hands and said:

: Safwat is coming…… He sent me to test you.

A little later, Safwat entered like a mad dog and began whipping that young soldier. Overwhelmed by the terrible blows, he lost consciousness and fell. Another executioner came, carried him away, and the cell door was closed again. I was deeply distressed that the boy had been subjected to such torment solely for my sake, to give me a little peace and rest. He had found the path of Allah’s pleasure, gained true insight, and refused to obey the oppressor’s orders. He condemned and criticized the oppressors whose cruelty had left me gasping and counting the hours until death. And so he had to endure agonizing punishment. Amid this unbearable sorrow, I performed that day’s Asr prayer.

Again in the water cel’l

As soon as the sun set, the executioners of the military prison became active. The prison’s hard four walls trembled at their cruel, brutal laughter. The clouds of disastrous darkness grew denser and more ominous.

They took me toward the water cell again in the darkness of night. Hunger burned in my stomach, thirst nearly split my chest, and the whip wounds had poisoned my entire being. In this exhausted state, I fell asleep. In my sleep I dreamed that several people, dressed in garments embroidered with gems on jet-black silk, were busy eating fine fruit from precious gold and silver vessels and drinking excellent beverages. Their dining cloth was spread with abundant food. As soon as I dreamed this, I awoke and completely forgot my hunger and thirst. I felt not the slightest hunger or thirst anymore. It seemed as though I had just finished eating. I gave endless thanks to Allah for this unprecedented sensation. I remained imprisoned for three full days in this way, alone and without eating, submerged up to my chin in the water cell. Then Safwat came into the water and, pushing me roughly, said:

: How long will you persist in your arrogance? I told you to tell me everything and gain your release from this. Tell me the whole story of how Sayyid Qutb and Huzaibi planned to assassinate Nasser. And you said that you had ordered Abdul Fattah Ismail to assassinate Nasser…… Why won’t you tell us all that, and so on?

I said to him:

: These claims are entirely unreal. What can I say about an event that never happened at all?

Hearing my answer, he left while hurling abuse. About an hour later, Safwat returned, took me out of the water cell, locked me in another cell beside it, and left. This was the very cell where Safwat had ordered a soldier to commit the vilest act against me. Thinking of that, I trembled with fear and prayed to Allah for help in protecting my honor.

A little later, Safwat Ibrahim returned with a military officer and said:

: The officer will speak with you.

The officer told Safwat to leave and then addressed me:

: Be mindful of your own welfare and interests; would that not be better for you? Know that those who are oppressors and tyrants recognize no Allah or God. They do not fear Allah. Do you know what happened to that soldier? Yes, because he disobeyed the order to punish you that day, he was shot dead. Now they are assembling a group of extremely uncivilized people, accustomed to criminal behavior, for you. My request is that you heed them and protect yourself from these savage barbarians. Hasan Huzaibi…… Sayyid Qutb…… and Abdul Fattah Ismail are each responsible for their own mistakes.

Even after hearing the officer’s sensitive words, I remained silent. I regarded his words as another deliberate deception and another scheme to blackmail me. I was heedless of the terrible and horrifying torture that truly awaited me.

The military officer…… perhaps disappointed, said:

: Do as you wish, Safwat …… I see that she truly is unyielding……

Safwat entered and, as was his habit, first showered me with abuse; then he said:

: Abdun Nasser has sent a band of devils. They will cut you to pieces and finish you off. How long will you save yourself from their hands? Time is passing; with every moment you are drawing closer to the pit of death. Then he shut the cell door from the inside.

After the Asr prayer, they sent me to the water cell again. After spending three days in that terrible cell, on the fourth day Safwat came, took me out of the water, and locked me in another cell. That same afternoon, after Asr, I was sent back to the water cell, where I remained in the water until nine o’clock on the fifth day. In this way, they tortured me mentally and physically by sending me from one cell to another every day.

In my cel’l, the corpse of bestiality

Neither my body nor my mind remained unharmed in any respect. How much of this unbroken succession of oppression and torture can a flesh-and-blood human being endure? There is no precedent for such torture. It was tremendous torment, both physical and mental. Whips, hunters, abuse, deception, and threats—all these had been imposed upon me as a daily routine. And those who were subjecting me to such inhuman suffering were human beings just like me. They too had flesh, blood, and hearts. But their environment and training had made them such that today they no longer seemed human at all. In appearance and sound they resembled humans with arms and legs. But in reality they were separate, terrifying creatures in human form—utterly different from humans or any other animals, vile and terrifying beings. A completely separate, vile creation, unlike humans or any other animals. Was the purpose for which they were made also different?

I was lifted from the water cell and taken to the cell beside it, where Safwat’s freshly oiled whip welcomed me. In time with the whip, he said:

: No one treats even a dog the way you will be treated today.

Saying this, he shut the door and left. A short while later, Hamza Bisiubi, Safwat, and two soldiers entered the cell.

Hamza said while hurling obscene abuse: Huzaibi, Sayyid Qutb, and Abdul Fattah Ismail have each admitted their own mistakes and confessed them. I have also learned from Huzaibi that he sent word through Abdul Fattah Ismail that killing Nasser was lawful—because he is an unbeliever.

Hearing this, his eyes seemed to flash fire. In a furious rage, he said:

You should know that I will not leave until I have extracted a confession from you. Speak…… Will you speak or not?

Then Safwat gave an order:

: Safwat, explain their task to them. And he gestured toward the soldiers:

: If any son of a dog shirks the assigned task or disobeys orders, send him to my office.

Then Safwat began ordering the soldiers to commit the foul act, in an extremely vulgar and obscene manner. His words crossed even the furthest limits of shame and decency.

He ordered one of the soldiers:

: Shut the door and continue with your task. Understand, son of a dog? …… When your task is finished, send your companion to do the same…… Understood?

After giving this order, he left.

As the soldier gradually advanced toward me, I screamed with all my strength:

: Don’t you dare! Don’t take another step. If you try to come any farther, I will kill you… kill you… Do you understand? Yet despite this, he advanced like a hungry beast. After that, all I remember is that I leapt at him, gripped his throat with both hands, and again, with all my strength, cried ‘Bismillah—Allahu Akbar’ and sank my teeth hard into his throat. Suddenly he broke free of my hands and collapsed onto the floor. Foam like soap suds was coming from his mouth. He lay senseless at my feet.

I was tormented by hunger and thirst. Though a helpless woman, battered and wounded from daily beatings, I had stood like a hero. Strengthened solely by the power of faith, I had been able to push such a powerful savage beast into the jaws of death. Even today I am astonished when I think of where Allah found the strength to infuse into my weak, exhausted body at that moment.

In this battle between truth and falsehood too, falsehood was defeated. It was a victory for truth and faith. This is how Allah’s help comes to the true Muslim. No matter how powerful the followers of falsehood may be, they cannot stand before an unarmed Muslim on the path of truth. All that is needed is unshakable courage and firm self-confidence.

O God, how merciful and compassionate You are. Endless thanks to You.

They have always come to wage war against Allah’s religion, but only the people of faith have achieved success. A truly faithful person will never fail.

A short while later, when the cell was opened and the chief executioner Hamza Bisiubi, Safwat, and the other soldiers entered, their eyes fell upon that fallen beast. Its face was still submerged in foam.

Seeing this, the enemies of Allah were stunned. Speechless like mutes, they stared at one another’s faces. Then they all withdrew with their tails between their legs like wet cats. As they left, they locked me in the water cell again.

From the Rats’ Side Toward the Water

I remained confined in the water cell for five days straight. On the sixth day, I was taken out of the water cell and brought to the cell beside it.

As I awaited the events to come, my patience was nearing its breaking point. In this cell too, mountains of various forms of oppression and torture were collapsing upon me. Indifferent to all the oppression, I remained absorbed in the remembrance of Allah. Leaning against the cell wall, I sat there all the time.

Suddenly I felt a rustling sound above my head. Looking up, I saw hundreds and thousands of rats being sent into my cell through the ventilator, the mouth of a sack having been opened. What a terrifying sight! It seemed as though my blood was turning to ice. I began reciting this supplication,

I seek refuge in Allah from male and female devils. O Allah, avert from me the evil—whatever it is and however You will.

“I seek refuge in Allah from the deceit of deceitful men and women. O Allah, remove from me every calamity—You alone know where it is and what it is.”

While reciting this supplication, the call to the noon prayer was made. I performed tayammum, offered the prayer, and again became absorbed in the remembrance of Allah. In this way, the call to the afternoon prayer was made, and I also offered the afternoon prayer.

At that moment Safwat came. Before he entered the cell, all the rats had fled through the ventilator. He looked around the room in astonishment. He could not understand where all those rats had gone. Unable to make sense of it, he left, muttering indistinct curses at me, and locked the water cell. A while later he returned with Riyaz. Riyaz was a senior officer. Standing outside the cell, he tried to placate me. He said—

The Ikhwan organization was plotting to assassinate Nasser, seize power, and change the government.

I protested in an unequivocal voice—

It is all nonsense and lies. We organized ourselves to raise young people according to the Qur’an and Sunnah. After understanding Islam properly, we sought to establish an Islamic system of government.

You are still repeating the same thing…? Then you will now learn what punishment means. What you have suffered all these days was only the preliminary stage of punishment. Then he left, while I remained lying in the water. Thus I spent eight days in that locked water cell. It is impossible to describe the sorrow, misery, and agitation in which those days passed. Anyone who saw me then could have composed an elegy.

On the ninth day, Riyaz, Safwat, and an officer in uniform came and took me out of that dirty, foul-smelling water. Riyaz scolded me and said—

This is your last chance for freedom. Either confess everything or die.

It is true that there is Hell with your Allah… but here, with Abdun Nasser, there is also a Hell and a Paradise. Jamal Nasser’s Paradise and Hell are not imaginary matters like your Allah’s Paradise and Hell; they are tangible realities.

They took me out of the water cell, locked me in another adjacent cell, and left. I sought Allah’s protection from the harm of these people.

While I was occupied in supplication, Safwat and Hamza entered the cell with ten soldiers and an officer. Safwat asked Hamza—

Pasha! What are your orders concerning this girl? In reply, Hamza asked the soldiers, “What will you have to eat?”

The soldiers replied, “We will have tea.”

Hamza said angrily—

Oh, damn it! You want tea, you sons of dogs? Not tea, Safwat—bring them liquor, hashish, and marijuana. Bring them whatever else they want, and hand her over to them. Let them do whatever they want with her; I give my full support.

Then they locked the cell and left. I was offering the afternoon prayer in the cell. While I was in prostration, Safwat suddenly came, shoved me out, took me to the water cell, and locked me inside.

Riyaz returned and said—

You want to remain pure? Those soldiers were specially prepared to discipline you. They have all gone to the hostel. They will come tomorrow and tear the flesh from your body and eat it. They were given special injections at the hospital. They are now like mad dogs. All this has been done on President Nasser’s orders. Nasser will not let you live. We all tried our utmost to make you understand. We tried so hard to convince you, but you would not abandon your stubbornness. Now tell me, how will you remain pure? Speak, answer me! Where is your whip, Safwat? Safwat began beating me, while Riyaz urged him to beat me more.

You idealistic girl! Do you perhaps think that thirty years after your death, people will build mosques and shrines in your memory, recognizing your great deeds in prison, and say, ‘This is the memorial of Zaynab al-Ghazali, who remained steadfast in her principles of faith even after prison torture reached its limit’…? But you should know that no one—not even the Devil—will realize how we are treating you and what more we will do to you.

Despite being wracked with pain, I smiled contemptuously when I heard him. To shatter his false arrogance and pride, I laughed disdainfully and said—

If what you say were true, Allah Most High would not have protected us from your harm; I could not sit and laugh even in Abdun Nasser’s so-called Hell, as you put it, nor would Allah have given me the strength to endure so much suffering… In truth, we seek the truth. We desire only Allah’s pleasure. Insha’Allah, we shall succeed, and the poisonous fangs of those whom you have prepared to bite the flesh from my body will be broken.

Hearing my clear words, Riyaz began looking around with frightened eyes. Safwat was somewhere a little farther away. He began calling him for help—

Come quickly, Safwat… This girl has started giving a speech. …And sure enough, Safwat came rushing like lightning, lashing my wounded body again and again with his whip as he said to Riyaz—

Sir, leave her to me. Tomorrow you will see what condition she is in.

Then, as they did every day, they locked me in the water cell and left. Only Allah knows the wretched state of my body and mind in that grief and pain. No one could survive in such a condition. Yet I remained alive solely through the strength of faith.

I felt profound sorrow over the country’s condition. Under a tyrannical ruler, the country’s true situation was extremely alarming. The dissatisfied and troubled people were helpless before cruel rulers intoxicated by power; there was no law or order. The ruling party did whatever it pleased. Terrible anarchy prevailed throughout the country.

As I reflected on the country and saw its miserable condition, my own suffering seemed utterly insignificant by comparison, yet mentally my sorrow seemed to multiply several times over. The entire country seemed like a concentration camp, while Hamza, Safwat, and Riyaz were running a steamroller of oppression over the innocent people. A strange reign of fear, terror, and tyranny prevailed. These men were merely different names for the same group. By birth and character, they were all alike, from the President to the executioners. They were plundering and exploiting the country and its people, and bargaining away the nation’s greater interests with foreign powers.

Alas, my country! My unfortunate country… No, no—I say, why should you be unfortunate? Your children possess the priceless treasure of the Qur’an and Sunnah. With the principles of Tawhid and Risalah before them, they are determined to bring about a revival. Even if old men and women like me perish… groups of young people are coming forward. Their victorious banner is raised in your heart with the promise of establishing Allah’s religion. Today the rule of Satan may prevail, but in the near future Allah’s rule will be established in your heart. The darkness of today will pass, and tomorrow the golden sun of a new age will rise… People will once again bow in prostration before their true Lord.

From the Water Cell to the Attorney

I am sorry to keep recounting events of the same kind repeatedly. But the necessity of presenting what happened, exactly as it happened, cannot be denied. That is why I am recounting them even though many of the events are much alike.

While we were enduring this torture in prison, what was the condition of my country, Egypt? You can imagine: it was in a terrible state. The people were constantly terrified; no one had any security in life. Force, oppression, and torture prevailed everywhere. Those outside the cells were even more frightened. Plunder, murder, highway robbery, and theft were taking place under government patronage. Hired thugs and dishonest criminals had been deployed everywhere to discipline the people. Through their unchecked depredations, the lives, property, honor, and modesty of ordinary people had become worthless. They understood nothing of honesty or civility. Rank, dignity, education, and learning had no value in their eyes. Thinkers, intellectuals, writers, journalists, poets, scholars, teachers, community leaders, and even upright military officers were being humiliated and disgraced at the hands of those criminals. Yet no one could utter a word, because President Nasser himself was leading these criminal and antisocial circles.

Every peace-loving citizen of the country—adolescents, young people, the elderly, women and men alike—was being harassed in this way. They even set these people upon respectable citizens. If anyone spoke out against these injustices, he was arrested on one charge or another, beaten with whips and hunters, released among dogs, and ultimately forced to appear before the gallows. This was Egypt’s general condition under Nasser’s rule. In any case, very early on the ninth day, Safwat came, took me out of the water cell, and said—

You are being taken to the attorney, al-Nayabatta. You have already been sentenced. Of course, you can still save yourself if you want. Then he threatened me, saying—

Surely you are aware of our purpose. Now we will see what you say before the attorney. As he spoke, he began dragging me like an animal. I said to him—

Look, the clothes I am wearing are completely torn. They are no longer fit to wear… Bring me my other clothes.

Without giving much importance to my words, he said—

We shall see about that. But if you say, regarding Hasan al-Huzaybi and Sayyid Qutb, that they are trying to assassinate Abdun Nasser and seize power… then I will bring you a blanket.

I said—

No, no, those are lies.

Then he said—

Then remain naked. Let us see whether your Islam can cover your shame! And let the Ikhwan see you in this condition.

Hearing these words from the mouth of that uncivilized barbarian, I said—

Indeed, Allah is the helper of the helpless, and He is Most Merciful, All-Knowing, and Just.

I was taken out of the military prison and brought to a spacious room in a separate building. A gentleman was sitting in the middle of the room. I later learned that he was Jalal Adib. He glanced at me and said—

Sit down.

I went and sat in a chair opposite the table. As he began the discussion, he said—

You are the renowned leader of the Islamic movement, Zaynab al-Ghazali. Why did you adopt such a position yourself? Are you happy in the condition you are in? Look, I am a Muslim and your well-wisher; I have come expressly to save you from this situation. My name is Fakhruddin al-Nayabatta. I cannot even imagine that a renowned leader like Zaynab al-Ghazali is sitting before me in such a condition. I sincerely hope that you will cooperate with me in trying to free yourself from this.

I replied—

Look, I will certainly say what is true and what pleases Allah. I promise you by Allah’s oath.

Hearing me, the lines on his forehead tightened. He asked with some irritation—

How old are you now?

I was born on January 2, 1971.

On learning my age, he said in astonishment—

Looking at you, I would have thought you were at least ninety years old. Oh! Tell me, why did you come to fall into this miserable condition? In reply I said calmly—

Whatever Allah has written in our destiny must come to pass. Allah alone is our dearest Friend, and He is the ultimate reliance of every believing Muslim.

He said sympathetically—

It seems very difficult for you even to speak.

I remained silent. Then he asked—

On what matter did you and Abdul Fattah Ismail agree?

We agreed on providing Islamic training to young people and teaching them the Qur’an and Sunnah. That was essential for solving the present social problems.

He interrupted me and said—

Look, I did not come to hear a speech; I am simply asking for an explanation of the actual events. Mr. Huzaybi told you to deliver one message to Abdul Fattah and another message to Sayyid Qutb. What were those messages? I think my question is quite clear. What do you say?

This time I said—

I asked Murshid al-‘Am Huzaybi for permission to include in the curriculum, as subjects for the young people’s collective study sessions, several books based on the Qur’an, Hadith, and fiqh—for example, Ibn Hamza’s al-Muhalla, Ibn Abd al-Wahhab’s and Ibn Taymiyyah’s Kitab al-Tawhid, and the works of Sayyid Qutb. Brother Abdul Fattah was also among the young people.

The attorney said with a wan smile—

No, Zaynab, not these things. Tell me the real matter. Try to save yourself. Tell me the actual facts openly.

I said—

The real matter and the true objective are the complete reconstruction and revival of the descendants of the Prophet, that is, the Muslim nation. This time he said emphatically—

They all admitted their guilt and left you in danger. I said in my normal, grave voice—

Allah will keep me and them safe. We will not turn back toward falsehood.

In reply, he said excitedly—

It seems to me that you merely want to continue displaying your eloquence. You are suffering from self-deception; even the higher court cannot reach any agreement with you. At that time I did not have the strength to speak the truth. I was in great pain, but hearing his statement about the higher court, I was compelled to speak.

If the higher court were conscious and vigilant regarding its responsibilities and duties, then…

He interrupted me and said—

Stop! Now I see that you are about to say all sorts of things about Egypt’s higher court as well…

Then he called Safwat, who was standing by the door, and said—

There is no point, Safwat! She has even insulted the court.

Safwat seemed to have been waiting. He dragged and hauled me along, looked toward the attorney, and asked—

Where, sir?

The attorney said, “Toward the water.” Then I returned once more to the water and to Safwat’s unceasing field of whipping. This time he began torturing me in a new way—more cruelly, mercilessly, and shamelessly. But the more intense his brutality became, the more my closeness to Allah increased.

May Allah protect the Muslims from the hands of such vile, cruel, foolish tyrants.

Food and Whips

On the tenth day, after the afternoon prayer, the cell door was opened, and I was taken out of the water and handed over to two other executioners with the instruction—

Leave her in cell number three.

I reached cell number three and fell to the ground like a lifeless corpse. Swollen from blow after blow, my body had become round like a football. It felt as though my soul was just about to leave my body. I did not even have the strength to groan. I surrendered my life and soul to Allah, the Most Merciful. I lay there trusting in that great Allah in whose hands lie the keys to the control of the entire universe.

I do not know how long I lay in that unconscious, semi-conscious state. Suddenly, hearing a great commotion outside the cell, I somehow made my way to the door and looked out through the peephole. I saw a huge gathering of Ikhwan brothers standing in line. Each held a cup. At the head of the line, a soldier was ladling some kind of liquid food into their cups. When they came forward to receive the food, another executioner whipped each one on the back. Perhaps no one had ever imagined this heart-rending scene of food and whips being administered together. Oh, what oppression!

That was not all. Two rows of soldiers stood with whips on both sides of the Ikhwan line. As the Ikhwan returned with the food in their cups, they also endured the soldiers’ severe blows. Thus, in exchange for a handful of food, they were forced to pay with countless lashes. One executioner noticed that I had secretly witnessed this tragic scene. He immediately rushed at me like a maddened beast and struck me with such powerful punches and kicks that I again lost consciousness and collapsed to the ground.

The wicked Safwat and one of his assistants made great efforts to restore my senses. I saw a little black-colored lentil stew in a vessel in his hand. It was giving off an extremely foul smell. Safwat said to me—

Eat this. If you do not, you will receive ten lashes.

I said—

Leave it there. I will eat it.

Safwat said to his assistant—

If she has not eaten this within ten minutes, give her ten lashes and report to me. I spent that night too amid extreme grief, pain, and agitation.

At the Hospital

On the eleventh day, Safwat opened the cell door and called to someone inside—

Doctor Maged, come in.

Doctor Maged entered in military uniform with his compounder, the soldier Abdul Mabud. At that time blood and pus were flowing from my feet. Moreover, my entire body was in a terrible condition: wounds, sores, and the unbearable pain accompanying them.

Doctor Maged said to his assistant, “Clean both her feet thoroughly, remove all the contaminated blood and pus from inside them, and take her to the hospital quickly.” Then two executioners left me at the hospital.

Again in Shams’s Grip

I was allowed to remain in the hospital for only one day. They could not rest without inflicting physical and mental torment on me. Thus, the intensity of the punishment began again. This time, however, I was moved to the hospital’s own prison. Despite the continuing torture, I felt relatively peaceful in the hospital prison. For this I offered thanks to Allah. I secretly wished that my stay in the hospital prison would be prolonged. I thought that my wounds might heal and the pain in my bones lessen. But alas! The executioners did not allow even that small hope of mine to be fulfilled. They sent me back to that bitter, poisonous hell.

The executioner took me to Shams Badran’s office. I was walking with the greatest difficulty. I did not even have the strength to carry my own weight. Yet they did not hesitate to beat me with rods in that condition. Whenever I showed the slightest slackening in my pace, their whips and hunters dealt with me. I could not walk on foot from the hospital to Shams Badran’s office. Because of my weakness, I collapsed onto the ground. But the executioners did not let me lie there. Dragging me along the ground, they brought me to Shams Badran’s office.

The moment the murderous tyrant Shams Badran saw me, he called Safwat and, overcome with rage, began making strange leaps and gestures. It seemed as though he were acting before a camera. His face was distorted with anger, and his eyes looked red like glowing coals. Calling Safwat, he pointed with his finger from the opposite side and said—

“Hang her upside down at once and give her five hundred lashes. Savagery piled upon savagery. Only Shams Badrans could display such a record of violence and brutality. Following his master’s orders, Safwat hung me up and began administering the five hundred lashes, counting them one by one. I was calling, ‘Allah, Allah!’ in unbearable agony. Shams Badran sneered, saying, ‘Where is your Allah, the one you are calling? If Allah really existed, He would certainly help you. Go on, call Abdun Naser; he will help you immediately.’ He then made such insolent remarks about Allah that no Muslim could tolerate them. When the five hundred lashes were complete, I was lowered and made to stand. Blood was then streaming down my injured leg. Seeing this, Shams Badran said, ‘Give her an even harsher punishment; that will be the treatment for her leg.’ A little later I leaned against the wall and, overcome by unbearable pain and exhaustion, sat down. Seeing this, Safwat tried with all his strength to pull me upright. But he could not.

Just then Hamza, the most despicable beast in the military prison, came and said—

“All this is just an act.”

I do not know what happened after that, because I lost consciousness. When I regained consciousness, I was beside the doctor. The doctor was injecting my arm. After giving the injection, the doctor instructed them to give me a cup of orange juice. But who listens to a doctor’s orders? Shams Badran said to me—

“There will be no benefit in stubbornly carrying on like this. Do what we want, or you will be hung upside down and beaten—not once, twice, or three times, but hundreds of times. Do not think that we are incapable of extracting information from you. In fact, we are merely giving you an opportunity, understand? Even if we bury you alive in the ground, no one will come asking why we did it. Who will stop us?”

I said—

“What Allah wills is what happens. For Allah’s pleasure, we offer thanks to Him.”

Hearing this, he flared up and said—

“Do not say such things in front of me.”

Hasan Khalil also advised me, saying—

“Use your intelligence, girl. No Ikhwan will come to save you here. They themselves are overwhelmed by their own troubles. They only want to escape somehow.” Then he brought out paper and a pen and, in an advisory tone, said—

“Safwat! Take her to the hospital and let her write freely there about the Ikhwan—how and in what manner she came into contact with them. Let her write in detail. Also write how agreement was reached on the assassination of Abdun Naser, and write the names of all the Ikhwan you know.”

On the way to the hospital, Safwat ordered me to move my legs faster. But I was like a child who had only just begun taking faltering steps. So, as we went, he repeatedly lashed me, saying—

“This is the treatment for your legs.”

Only Allah knows how I reached the hospital room. As Safwat handed me paper and a pen, he said—

“You hungry Ikhwani! Naturally, you know our purpose. So I am telling you, there is no need for philosophy. Write down exactly what you know. Write how you wanted to kill Jamal Naser and all that…” Saying this, he closed the door and left.

Because both my hands were blistered, it was difficult for me to hold a pen. The first day passed in this way. I did not write a single letter. Safwat came to collect my written statement and, seeing the blank paper lying there, said—

“I am leaving paper again so that you may save your life.” He left just as he had come.

At last I began writing with my injured hands. On the third day, Hamza Bisyubi came and gathered all the papers and took them away. I spent the entire day in extreme agitation. Because of the pain in my legs, it was impossible to sit, stand, or sleep. Every bone ached. My condition was utterly unbearable. Safwat brought two more soldiers to take me by the same route to Shams Badran’s office. The moment I entered Shams Badran’s room, he cast a fiery look at me, began shouting horribly, tore my written papers into pieces, threw them into the dustbin, and said—

“Oh girl, was all this punishment still not enough for you? … What have you written? It is all nonsense….” Then he called Hamza and said—

“Lash her.”

Hamza and Khalil said in unison—

“No, Pasha; rather, she should be sent to the dogs’ cell among the savage dogs.” Shams Badran said excitedly—

“Then bring the dogs here.”

Safwat and his accomplice brought two of the most savage dogs, specially trained in the military prison. Shams Badran ordered them to set the two dogs upon me. Both dogs attacked me with their poisonous teeth and paws. Their teeth and claws sank into my entire body. Helpless, I sought Allah’s help and prayed: ‘Hasbunallahu wa ni’mal wakeel—O Allah, protect me from every danger.’

On one side, the dogs’ bites and claw wounds; on the other, the obscene abuse pouring from Shams Badran’s mouth—both began tearing my body and soul apart alike. Amid this, orders were still being shouted—

“Write that you had decided to assassinate Jamal Naser… How did you intend to kill him?”

Another dog was released. The attack of three terrifying dogs, poisonous bites, and blows from their paws. And I, a helpless woman tormented by thirst and hunger, distraught from the pain of the lashes. But by Allah’s mercy, I was given the strength to endure everything.

When Shams Badran and his companions saw that even the dogs could not accomplish their purpose, Shams Badran shouted horribly at Safwat—

“Take her away and keep lashing her.”

His body was trembling with rage. A little later the doctor came. After examining me, the doctor forbade any more lashing, at least for that day, and said—

“She has no capacity left to endure any more blows.”

Shams Badran said to Hamza—

“Leave her in Cell Number Twenty-Four. Then I want to see her corpse.” I was sent to Cell Number Twenty-Four. I had never been there before. I entered the cell and was terrified. A fire was burning in a circle right in the middle of the cell. Around it stood a group of executioners holding whips. I watched this hellish scene in fear and terror.

Suddenly, an executioner struck me with a whip and ordered me to enter the circle in the middle. When I went near the fire, another executioner struck me with a whip and drove me away. In this way, all of them forced me to run back and forth, now toward the fire and now toward the wall. It seemed that a rain of lashes was falling upon me. The blows of the whips and the heat of the fire created an indescribably painful condition. For a full two hours I continued to burn and roast in this fiery cell and receive lashes.

Then Hamza Bisyubi came, cast bloodshot eyes at me, and said—

“Write that you wanted to kill Abdun Naser… Otherwise you will be thrown into this fire and burned to death.”

Without answering a word, I screamed silently and wept without tears, remaining firm in my principles. At last I lost consciousness again. I regained consciousness once more after being taken to the hospital.

A Theatrical Scene of Torture

One morning, when I was brought out of the hospital room, I was surprised to see several photographers waiting with cameras directly in front of me. They made me sit on a chair, cross one leg over the other, and put a cigarette in my mouth. Apparently, it had become very important to take my photograph in this manner.

I said—

“Impossible. Let alone putting it in my mouth, I will not even touch a cigarette.”

In response, they pressed pistols against my head and back and said—

“If you do not put the cigarette in your mouth, you will be finished.” Disregarding their pistols, I again refused to take the cigarette and continued reciting the Kalimat al-Shahada. I said—

“Do whatever you wish; under no circumstances will I touch a cigarette.” This time they rained lashes upon me with great force. Then they again pressed a pistol directly against my throat and said—

“You must put the cigarette in your mouth.”

But I continued to refuse again and again.

When they finally understood that they could not make me touch a cigarette, they simply took the photographs and left.

The next day they came and said—

“You must say before the television cameras whatever we teach you.” Saying this, they made me memorize all sorts of false accusations about the Ikhwan. I said to them—

“If I have to say something on television, what I will say is this—

‘Jamal Naser is an unbelieving kafir, and he has engaged in war against Islam. That is why we oppose him. He has refused to govern according to the Qur’an and has called Islam reactionary. He has blamed religion for backwardness and poverty. He has adopted all the rules and regulations for making laws and running the administration from communism and atheism. In his view, godlessness and materialistic indulgence are the very name of life. That is why we are fighting him defensively for the sake of justice and truth.’ Hearing me, they said—

“With pistol barrels pressed against your shoulder and back, how do you dare make such fearless statements? Whatever you may say, you must say what we are telling you before the television cameras.”

I said—

“Yesterday, despite trying everything, you could not make me touch your cigarette in front of the journalists and press photographers. How then did you imagine that today I would speak absurd lies out of fear of your pistols? No, I swear by God, we will not bow before falsehood. We are followers of an ideal. We are servants of the Muslim Ummah and heirs of the Qur’an.” Having failed to achieve their purpose, they began lashing me. After lashing me for a long time, they took me back and left me in the room.

Cell Num’ber Thirty

I think with great wonder about one matter: if they really detained me for some specific crime, why are they trying to obtain so many confessions from me? Why are they demanding that I confess to agreeing to or planning Naser’s assassination? If they have evidence and proof of my crime, why all this needless harassment, coercion, and oppression? They are demanding from me such impossible confessions as exist nowhere except in their imaginations. In reality, is not the sole purpose of these arrests and inhuman persecution to destroy the Islamic movement and its influence in this way? The moment he saw me, he expressed artificial astonishment and said—

“What, you are still alive? Hamza, didn’t I tell you that I wanted to see her corpse?”

Hamza said in a pleading tone—

“Forgive me, Pasha! This time she is ready to obey whatever order you give her.”

Shams Badran addressed me and said—

“Then write…”

I said—

“I will write nothing except the actual events. Why don’t you simply kill me? Perhaps, by God’s will, it will be a martyr’s death for me.”

Hasan Khalil said—

“We will never let you become a martyr.”

I said—

“Martyrdom comes as a gift from God. To whomever He has decreed it, He surely grants it.”

Shams Badran said irritably—

“Safwat, hang her up and give her five hundred lashes… Let us see who her Allah is.”

As soon as the order was given, the executioners hung me upside down and carried out the command to give me five hundred lashes. They did not even have the opportunity to consider that this poor woman was incapable of enduring even an ordinary blow. When the lashing was over, I was sent back to the room. He gestured for me to sit on a chair and said—

“You consider us very cruel and heartless. Yet we are deeply distressed when we see your condition. You know, my father is a professor at Al-Azhar University…”

Without saying anything, I silently looked at him with profound contempt.

He immediately returned to his true nature and said threateningly—

“Hamza, leave her in Cell Number Thirty-Two.”

Entering the new cell, I saw a wooden frame set parallel atop two tall wooden posts, with two large iron rings attached to it. The executioners made me stand on a chair and told me to hold the two rings with both hands. As soon as I grasped the rings after being struck by the hunter, they pulled the chair away from beneath my feet. I remained hanging in the air, holding the rings. The moment I fell to the ground, the executioners rushed at me with the hunter and hung me up in the same way again. I fell again. This cruel exercise continued for three hours.

The Value of Faith and the Humiliation of Falsehood

I was taken again to Shams Badran’s office. With an actor-like gesture, Shams told me to sit in the nearby chair. After I sat down, Jalal and Hasan Khalil began trying to persuade me to give a written statement according to the Pasha’s wishes. Apparently, this would benefit me.

I said to both of them—

“I cannot write anything about something I do not know.” They said—

“We know everything. The Ikhwan have told us everything.”

Then he told Jalal to open the file and read aloud the alleged statements of Majid Shadhli and the Ikhwan. At their instruction, Jalal first read aloud Ali Usamawi’s statement. I was stunned to hear it! After all the statements had been read aloud, Shams shook his head and asked—

“What is your comment on these statements?”

I immediately said—

“They are nothing but lies, fabrications, and slander.”

Shams Badran said—

“You took the initiative to reorganize the Ikhwan—do you want to deny that? Yet the statements of your own people have clearly proved that you laid the foundation for reestablishing this organization… Jalal, then read Hudaybi’s statement aloud! …” But immediately he said—

“All right, stop, stop; leave that. For now, let me hear Abd al-Fattah Ismail’s statement.”

After it was read, Shams asked me, “What do you say now…?”

Then Jalal opened file after file and read out one confession after another. When he had finished reading them all, Shams said to me—

“What is your opinion about what you have heard…? Now tell me, will you write whatever we want?”

I said firmly—

“It is all fabricated—complete nonsense.”

He asked with a knowing smile—

“Then what is the truth?”

I said—

“In my opinion, the confession of Ali Usamawi kept in the record is false. Regarding the remaining Ikhwan, I will say that they are people of truth and truthful. These statements and confessions written in their names are merely false slanders against them.”

Shams called Hamza and said—

“Hang her upside down this time and bring Ali Usamawi.” Ali Usamawi came wearing clean, bright clothes. His hair was neatly combed; there was no sign of punishment or suffering on his body or face. Comparing him with myself and the other prisoners, I could not help believing that this man had committed treachery, given false testimony against the Ikhwan, and fallen into the plot of those lying savages. They observe neither principle nor religion. He too had become a victim of Shams Badran and joined Naser’s group.

Shams Badran asked him—

“All right, Ali! The last day you went to Zaynab al-Ghazali, what did you take from her, and what did she say to you?”

Usmavi said—

: He gave me one thousand guineas (Egyptian pounds) and told me to take the money to Ghada Ammar so that it could be delivered to Huzaibi or Sayyid Qutb’s house…… If I were arrested, then, if money was needed, I should contact Ghada Ammar or Hamida. They know where the money is.

Shams Badran asked me—

: How much money was there, Zaynab? And why were you so alarmed about it?

I said—

: The Ikhwan brothers living in Sudan and Saudi Arabia sent four thousand guineas in donations to help the families of imprisoned brothers. In addition, one thousand guineas was spent on helping poor students studying in schools and colleges, house rent, and so on…… The man standing before you and giving testimony was entrusted with one thousand guineas. It was for meeting the expenses of Brother Abd al-Fattah Ismail’s family……

This time Shams asked him—

: Ali! What did you last eat at Zaynab al-Ghazali’s? Ali Usmavi said—

: She cooked liver and served me a plate full of rice, saying, “Eat, Ali! May Allah help you.”

Shams said—

All right, enough! You may go now, Ali. Ali left, having earned Shams Badran’s favor.

Shams then told Hamza—

: Bring Abd al-Fattah Ismail.

A few moments later, Hamza arrived with Abd al-Fattah Ismail. There was an attractive, radiant dignity in Abd al-Fattah Ismail’s eyes. He was wearing tattered clothes in prison. The marks of the inhuman torture inflicted on him were visible everywhere. When he came in and saw me, he greeted me with his usual humility. I returned his greeting.

Shams asked him:

“Abd al-Fattah! What did you do at Zaynab al-Ghazali’s, and why did you go to her?” Abd al-Fattah said in a bold voice:

She is my Islamic sister in the cause of Allah’s pleasure. We cooperate with one another in spreading the teachings of the Qur’an and Sunnah among Muslim youth. Naturally, our aim was to change the government and establish an Islamic government in place of the government of falsehood.

Hearing him, Shams Badran became enraged and said:

Have you started giving a speech, then? Don’t you know you are not standing on a pulpit?… Get out…… Get out.

Abd al-Fattah Ismail left just as he had come. As he went, he greeted me, and I replied:

“And peace be upon you, and the mercy of Allah and His blessings.”

Shams Badran continued hurling vile abuse like a madman…… Yet, hearing Abd al-Fattah Ismail’s clear, noble words, full of greatness and dignity, I felt sincere relief and peace. What a heroic mujahid! He remained steadfast and unshaken in the principles of truth despite a hundred dangers. Endless thanks to Allah that even in this modern age of ignorance, such truthful people still exist. I prayed for him before Allah. What if people like Ali Usmavi commit betrayal? Thousands of true soldiers are still advancing patiently and courageously in the jihad caravan on Allah’s path.

I was startled by Shams Badran’s shouting. He was yelling—

: Take this girl away. Bring her back to me in the morning with a written statement.

Hasan Khalil Safwat gave me paper and a pen, and I was sent to the hospital room. Holding the paper and pen, I wondered what I should write. What did they want? Did they want me to write against my Allah and His religion? No, by God’s oath, that would never happen. I wrote—

: We follow the path ordained by Allah, united beneath the banner of the Qur’an. There is no deity but Allah. The beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) is Allah’s final Messenger. At no time and under no circumstances will we associate anyone with Allah. We will worship and serve Him alone. O our Allah! Grant us courage and patience, and grant us death upon faith and Islam.

And you Pharaohs of this age! Use up this brief span of earthly life. Death has certainly been appointed for one day. Very soon you will face your consequences.

The next day Hamza Bisyubi, Riyaz, and Safwat came and took away the written paper. About an hour later they returned, put me in a car, and took me to Shams Badran’s office. I had no way of walking then. Shams tore up some papers in front of me, threw them into the wastebasket, and said—

: These are the papers you wrote…… I see you will not write as I wish until I draw a bowlful of blood from your body.

After that, amid abuse and blows from the whip, I was taken back to the hospital.

My Death Sentence

Since I was almost near death, I was kept under treatment in the hospital for several days. One day, a little before sunset, I was taken to Shams Badran’s office. But instead of taking me into the office, they made me stand before a huge machine. A terrible noise and extremely hot air came from this electric machine. I was kept standing before that horrifying machine throughout the night. In the morning I was sent back to the hospital. Seeing the condition of my face, Doctor Maged asked Abd al-Maboud—

: His face has become completely yellow…… Was he taken away again at night?

Abd al-Maboud said: Yes, sir!

Half an hour later, Abd al-Maboud gave me bread and some preserve, saying that the doctor had sent them and told me to eat them. At sunset, I was again taken to a cell near Shams Badran’s office and kept there. A little later Hamza, Safwat, and Riyaz arrived. They exchanged some words in hushed voices. The first two left, while the third remained there. Suddenly he began doing a strange thing like a frenzied madman, slapping and punching his own face and tearing his own hair. He began shouting at me—

: You madwoman! If you do not obey Shams today, today will be the last day of your life. Do you know where Rifayat, Ismail, and al-Qumayra are?

He said—

: Here in this prison, on Nasser’s orders, ten Ikhwan dogs are buried every day.

When I told him that they had been martyred in Allah’s path and had entered Paradise, he began slapping his own face even harder and said—

: So far, neither dogs, water, fire, whips, nor hunters have been able to make you waver. Today Pasha will slaughter you. He has obtained Nasser’s permission. What will you do?

I said calmly—

: Allah alone does whatever is to be done.

He then began to say—

: Do you want us to fail by doing what you do? The Soviet Union rules half the world—do you want us to let you go? And do you want us to follow the words of people like Huzaibi, Sayyid Qutb, and Hasan al-Banna?

You people are mad…… We are not mad like you, understand?

In reply, I recited a Qur’anic verse and said—

: When these people are told that there is no deity but Allah, they arrogantly say, “Are we to abandon all these gods of ours at the word of one mad poet?” These gods are rebellious idols, and the rulers have been appointed to protect those idols. These are the very people who did not hesitate to call the Prophet of humanity, Muhammad (peace be upon him), mad. Today history is repeating itself. Today you too call the mujahideen on Allah’s path mad, while rulers who follow falsehood have become your masters and use you for every vile task. In exchange for only a little money, you have cast away your humanity and live dishonest lives. Tell me, do you wish to face Allah’s wrath in order to please the tyrannical oppressor?

He then asked—

: Do you want to take us back to that stagnant backwardness?

At that moment the door opened, and the executioners began mercilessly lashing me with whips and hunters. Seeing this, Riyaz said with a laugh—

: By God’s oath, Zaynab, I care for you and I am also concerned about you.

While being whipped, I asked him sarcastically—

: Care and concern? What sort of talk is that? Are you a timid coward? The matter is very clear. Why are you so eager merely to obtain my confession? The real purpose behind all your false fabrications, slander, punishment without guilt, farcical show trials, and baseless accusations against innocent people has become perfectly clear.

Riyaz puffed out his chest, shook his head, tore his hair, and shouted—

: Have all our knowledge, intelligence, and strength been proved futile and useless before you? We have become ill despite eating and living well…… And you? By what strength are you still alive?…… The doctor said that if you are not given food now, you will die.

Hamza and Safwat came and asked Riyaz—

: What have you done, brother? I hope her senses have returned.

I looked at Hamza with a faint smile and said—

: I cannot tell which of you is mad.

Without saying anything, Hamza gazed silently at me and told Safwat—

: Take her to the next office.

At Pasha’s Office

Shams let me sit on the nearby chair and said—

: Look, in my opinion, there is no benefit in maintaining continued hostility.

Write everything the way I want.

I said in a naturally calm voice—

: Do you want me to write that we wanted to kill Nasser?…… That is impossible. By God’s oath, we gathered only to learn the teachings of the Qur’an and Hadith. We wanted to tell people that they should follow Allah’s religion rather than follow tyrannical men, and we informed them how to worship Allah and how to establish Allah’s religion in this world. We act according to the Qur’an and Sunnah and do not disobey any command of Allah. If, through error, we happen to disobey Allah’s command, we repent and seek forgiveness for it. In our view, the present government is incompetent and therefore must end. But not by force or coercion. We want to bring about change constitutionally, by explaining Islam to the people and making them fully aware of it…… We want a truly Islamic system of government……

When they suddenly began striking me with a hunter, I cried out—

: No, no, I will not write lies; even if you kill me, I will not write them. The world has no value for me……

Shams Badran asked me—

: Why did you not write Abd al-Aziz Ali’s name on the papers I tore up?

I asked:

Which Abd al-Aziz Ali?

: That Abd al-Aziz Pasha—the man Nasser appointed as a member of his cabinet. But he betrayed Nasser, cutting off the very hand that had helped him, and began opposing Nasser.

This time I recognized him and said—

: Abd al-Aziz Ali was the founder of the Krishnagupte movement against British imperialism. He was a leading figure in the National Party. Abdun Nasser and his companions received their initiation into nationalism from him. In my opinion, he is a great personality. He is a friend of my husband. And now he is my Islamic brother in Allah’s path. His wife is a member of the central council of our organization, my friend, and my Islamic sister……

Shams asked in a harsh voice—

: Then why did you not include him among the Ikhwan?

I said—

: I had considered it… but, as the saying goes, someone’s head may be filled with fire instead of brains……

Before I could finish speaking, Shams shouted horribly—

: Stop this nonsense. Then he ordered them to apply the whip. They whispered among themselves for a while, and then Hasan Khalil asked me.

: Why did you introduce Abd al-Aziz to Abd al-Fattah Ismail, and where did you introduce them?

I replied—

: When my leg was broken as a result of the attack by your intelligence forces, he and his wife came to see me at the hospital. Even after I left the hospital and returned home, they visited from time to time. One day, Brother Abd al-Fattah Ismail also arrived while Abd al-Aziz was present. That is how they became acquainted with each other. That is all I know about the matter.

Hasan Khalil said—

: I accept that Abd al-Aziz’s meeting with Abd al-Fattah was accidental. But how did Abd al-Aziz become acquainted with Farid Abd al-Khalek at your house through you?

I replied—

: When a nurse came to my house to bandage the broken bone in my leg, Brother Abd al-Aziz went and sat in the drawing room. At that time Brother Farid Abd al-Khalek also came and sat there. They were still strangers to each other. After the nurse had finished bandaging my leg and left, Brother Farid Abd al-Khalek came inside to see me. At that time Brother Abd al-Aziz also went inside to take his leave. On that occasion I introduced the two of them to each other.

Hearing me, Shams became furious and called Safwat. When I regained consciousness in the hospital, both my legs had been bandaged. I writhed in unbearable pain in both legs. In an instant, that pain spread throughout my body. It felt as though my entire body were being fried in hot oil.

In the Vortex of Doubt

After being treated in the hospital for several days, I was taken again to Shams Badran’s office. He continued repeating his old statements and suspicions. I think that by voicing a suspicion again and again, repeating it one time after another, he had made it take on the form of reality in his mind. He had now begun to believe his mere suspicion as though it were a real event. He kept saying the same thing: the Ikhwan al-Muslimun had plotted to kill Abdun Nasser. Shams Badran expressed astonishment as he looked at me and said—

: You are still alive? Yet every kind of punishment has been inflicted on you.

In reply, I told him the story of the Companions of the Trench—

: Allah says: “The Companions of the Trench” were killed; those who killed them became utterly mad because of their lies and slander. These people, martyred by members of their own nation, were trusted and noble in the eyes of all. They were actively teaching people to convey God’s message and fulfill their duties with faithfulness.

Shams Badran said—

: We do not understand all those moral principles. Do you still believe in Allah’s existence? Yet from 1948 until today you have always been defeated. You were badly crushed in opposition to the 1954 revolution against King Farouk, and again in 1965 when you witnessed the counterreaction to the revolution…… Tell me, where is that so-called God of yours? I said to him—

: We succeeded in 1948, we were victorious in 1954 as well, and in 1965 too we won the field.

He said—

: We have hung you upside down like a chicken, submerged you up to your neck in water, forced you to run amid flames, and had savage dogs bite you…… If you truly had a God or Lord, would He not have come forward to save you? Tell me, wretched girl……

I said firmly—

: By raining whips upon us and inflicting various kinds of brutal torture, perhaps you take satisfaction in thinking that you have won. But in reality, you are always terrified because of us.

He roared angrily—

: Be quiet, girl! You are all criminals.

: Never. I said with the same firmness.

I added: Why should we be criminals?…… We are committed to the path of truth and to the duty of spreading truth and peace. We are guides on the path of truth and beacons of undying light. He asked—

: How, then, have you become victorious over us?

I said—

: Because we are enriched and strengthened by Allah. Our steadfast devotion and unshakable faith are in Him; it is on His path that we strive and struggle. Our defeat will be proved only when we become negligent in our duty to uphold the dignity of Islam and raise the banner of tawhid. In truth, Islam is an eternal and universal way of life. Islam is the way of life that guides every aspect and sphere of religion, government, domestic and international politics, social organization, and individual and collective life. Establishing peace and harmony, brotherhood, tolerance, justice, and fairness is Islam’s purpose. It is humanity’s eternal, natural way of life.

Islam liberates people from slavery and urges them to worship the One God. No human being should be followed in rebellion against God. Those who accept Islam with a sincere and straightforward heart and complete confidence will surely reach the golden destination of true success. They become soldiers of Allah; and why should soldiers in Allah’s path fear any other person or power? Those who gather beneath Islam’s banner for the sake of truth and justice find the interests of this world extremely narrow and insignificant. The reality of life and the world becomes clear to them. Therefore, instead of the petty interests of this fleeting, brief worldly life, they advance along the path ordained by Allah, hoping for the endless, prosperous and peaceful heavenly life of the Hereafter.

And you, misguided cowards! What can you do? You can oppress us; beat and cut us, kill us, inflict a hundred kinds of satanic torture, push us into water or among dogs and watch the spectacle, and whip us to your heart’s content. For you have whips and hunters in your hands, and many kinds of weapons. But to us, all this tyranny and torture of yours is utterly meaningless. None of your oppression can make us waver from the path of truth. You are bound to fail.

Why have you, in fear, kept us imprisoned separately? Why are you so afraid? It is because we are mujahids in Allah’s path, while you are the minions of Satan. Those who wage war against Allah and His Messenger are bound to face defeat and disgrace. Indeed, they are the meanest and basest of people. The religion of Allah and His Messenger will remain victorious. Without doubt, Allah alone is the source of all power. Shams Badran could not bear these words of mine. Clutching his head, he said like a terrified man—

“Safwat—Safwat! Hang her upside down and give her five hundred lashes.” After the whipping, they lowered me and told me to answer those same stale questions. I continued giving my answers. Irritated by this, Shams Badran ordered me hung up again and given two hundred and fifty lashes. When his order was carried out, I lost consciousness. When I regained consciousness in the hospital, I saw doctors crowding around me and bandages and medicine being applied to various parts of my body. After being treated in the hospital for several days, I was taken on a stretcher to Shams Badran’s office again.

In a weak, faint voice like that of a man on the threshold of death, I asked him, “Attorney! … Who are you?”

He said, “We have prepared you to be brought before the court.” I asked—

“What else do you want from me?”

The attorney warned me—

“Speak carefully. You no longer have the strength to withstand a beating…… We are … completely ready……”

I said, “Allah is the giver of success and the helper.”

The attorney asked—

“Why did Muhammad Qutb and the young men of the Ikhwan gather at your house?”

I said—

“Professor Muhammad Qutb and both of his sisters often came to visit me.” Shams became angry, cursed, and asked again—

“Why did Muhammad Qutb and the young men of the Ikhwan gather at your house? Tell me that.”

I strongly protested his abuse and said—

“Students and workers of the Islamic movement came to visit me, and, by coincidence, they would also meet Professor Muhammad Qutb.”

He roared, “I am telling you: when the young men asked you to arrange a meeting with Muhammad Qutb, you invited those young men and Muhammad Qutb to lunch. After eating, they held a meeting…… Why?”

I said calmly—

“When Professor Muhammad Qutb’s two books, At-Tatawwuru was-Subatu fil-Hayatil-Bashariyyah—‘Stability and Development in Human Life’—and Jahiliyyat al-Qarn al-‘Ishrin—‘The Ignorance of the Twentieth Century’—were published, some workers of the Islamic movement and I wished to meet Professor Muhammad Qutb to learn more about various subjects in those two books. For this purpose, Professor Qutb honored our invitation several times.”

This time he asked—

“Why did Abd al-Fattah Ismail attend these gatherings?” I said—

“Because he too was among the morally upright young men of the Muslim Brotherhood……”

He mocked the word ‘morally upright’ and said—

“Allah has no need of such morally upright people. At which of these gatherings did Muhammad Qutb and the others agree to assassinate Nasser?”

I said, “The fabricated story about the assassination of Abd al-Nasser is nothing but an artificial tale invented by you.”

Shams asked, “Why did you not become a lawyer?”

I said, “Praise be to Allah, He has kept me in the best condition. I have devoted my life to Allah’s path, and I will continue to fulfill only the duty of seeking Allah’s pleasure.” Suddenly Shams Badran got up and began kicking me mercilessly. Panting, he kept saying, “There will be no escape for you today. You will die at my hands.” In that state, he asked—

“What was the name of the organization you established with Muhammad Qutb?…… Who had been appointed to assassinate Abd al-Nasser, Abd al-Fattah or al-Fayoumi?” I said—

“You have already killed al-Fayoumi…… What is the point of mentioning his name again?”

He laughed hideously and loudly and said—

“Did you know him? Was he very handsome? Safwat…… Safwat, Fayoumi loved this one.”

Safwat came with a hunter and pounced on me again like a wild hyena. Unable to bear the blows, I lost consciousness. They sent me to the hospital again to restore me somewhat and prepare me for further torture and abuse.

Shams Remains Steadfast in His Delusion

I was sent again to Shams Badran’s office. Since I had regained consciousness, I had to go there to endure further torture. Of course, I was taken to his office on a stretcher. Shams was sitting with his cronies. They seated me in a chair and he said—

“You have not even the slightest strength left to withstand torture. Now show yourself some mercy. Otherwise, I swear by Abd al-Nasser, I will bury you with Fatoheeri.” One of his lackeys joined in and said—

“Listen, Zaynab, give Pasha the correct answers and put your affairs in order for the Hereafter. We want to reach some settlement with you.”

Shams Badran said more sharply, “Remember, someone came to you on behalf of Fuad Sirajuddin and asked you to cooperate with the Ikhwan in overthrowing Nasser’s government. That person also told you that there were people in Adviser Amer’s office who would cooperate with you and with the ‘Wafd Party.’”

Astonished at this devil’s false statements and skill at distorting the truth, I emphasized each word as I said—

“That is pure falsehood. Fuad Sirajuddin did not send anyone to me with any matter, any problem, or anything at all. In fact, I have not met him for the past twelve years. Once, by chance, my husband, Muhammad Salim Salih, met Fuad Pasha at a mass demonstration. He asked my husband how I was and sent greetings and prayers for me.”

As soon as I said this, a fresh rain of hunters began to fall upon me. The blows of the hunter struck my wounded body like flashes of fire. My feet were bandaged at the time. Before the earlier wounds had even healed, countless blows were tearing my body apart again. While striking my hands and feet with the hunter, the executioner asked—

“Tell me, did Fuad Sirajuddin send you any message?” I said, “No.”

Shams Badran then ordered that I be punished even more severely. As soon as the brutal assault began, I lost consciousness. Unconscious, I was sent to the hospital on a stretcher. But shortly afterward I was brought back to his office.

Shams Badran said in an extremely harsh voice—

“Listen carefully: no one can stop us. I bury twenty dogs like you every day. And the yard of this military prison stands gaping, ready to swallow thousands of such dogs. I swear by Abd al-Nasser! If you do not act according to my will, I will bury you here like the others.”

Feeling no need to answer this fool’s ravings, I remained silent.

He became unbalanced and said, “Answer me, or I will hang you upside down and beat you with the hunter until you are finished.”

I said, “Allah is the best disposer of affairs. He is sufficient for me. He is the best helper. O Lord, grant us courage and patience, and grant us death upon Islam.”

Shams could not bear these good words. Enraged, he said to Safwat—

“Safwat, bring the dogs.”

Safwat immediately appeared with vicious dogs, and they leapt upon me like hungry tigers.

In the unbearable agony of the dogs’ bites, I prayed to Allah for deliverance: “O Allah, through Your pleasure I seek refuge from Your punishment. O Allah, rescue me from this calamity and affliction.” Hamza shouted, “Pasha’s face has gone pale. Her death is near.” Shams came, saw my condition, and said—

“Take the dogs out and leave her at the hospital to die.”

Thus I was sent to the hospital on a stretcher. But at midnight that same day, I was taken to Shams’s office again, for the fourth time.

This was a disgraceful example of vengeance and retaliation. Their hatred, spite and enmity were directed at Islam. Since I was a servant of Islam, they demonstrated their hostility toward Islam by torturing me. They thought that by killing, beating and harassing the workers of the Islamic movement, they would be able to obstruct Islam’s revival and triumph. They dreamed of silencing Islam and establishing false atheism. In any case, as soon as they lifted me from the stretcher and seated me in the office chair, I lost consciousness. They revived me with lemonade and an injection. This time Shams said theatrically—

“Look, listen carefully. You have placed us in tremendous danger. We are not wild animals, as you think we are…… And President Nasser is very magnanimous… If you tell us everything, you will be forgiven…… Now, at least for your own sake, tell us the truth.”

I said—

“Shall I really tell you the truth?…… Then listen: the truth, the real truth, is that you should go and tell Abd al-Nasser that you are an oppressor and usurper; you are a rebel against God; repent and perform tawbah; abandon the false path of evil and come to the path of truth and justice; come from darkness into light……”

“Those who support you on the path of falsehood and those whom you use for your acts of force and oppression have dead consciences, and all of you are morally and mentally ill.”

Terrified, they asked me—

“Shall we convey these words of yours to Nasser?”

I said—

“Yes, yes. I told you all this precisely so that you would tell him.” They said—

“You are being incredibly audacious.” Then they all shouted in unison, “Madwoman, madwoman!”

“She needs electric shock treatment.” At that moment, Shams Badran roared—

“Where are the dogs that have been kept unfed since yesterday, Hamza?” In the midst of this, Hasan theatrically said—

“Zaynab, you are still alive! Death is right before you. All the Ikhwan are surviving by looking after their own interests. I hope, Pasha, you will permit Ali Usmabi to be brought here. Perhaps he can remind Zaynab about the man sent by Fuad Sirajuddin.”

Shams Badran said—

“You, girl, remember. Otherwise I will summon Ali Usmabi and set him against you.”

I said, “Ali Usmabi has sold his conscience to uncivilized tyrants like you in exchange for petty interests, and by doing so has accepted loss in this world and the Hereafter…… And your story about Sirajuddin is also fabricated. The purpose of these invented tales is simply to insult noble and dignified people.”

A senior officer named Said Abd al-Karim entered this interrogation room, joined the discussion, and said—

“Zaynab! I am giving you some useful information concerning the matter of Sirajuddin. This will help you understand it. You must know Husayni Abd al-Ghaffar of the Muslim Brotherhood. Later he separated from Sayyidena Muhammad. You exchanged views with him several times. Your purpose was to bring him back into the ranks of the Ikhwan. You wanted to use him for active work within the Ikhwan’s internal sphere.”

I said—

“Allah is sufficient for us, and He is the best disposer of affairs. Husayni Abd al-Ghaffar is my brother in faith!…… I discussed with him taking an active part in the Ikhwan again, but he expressed his inability. He had no connection with Sirajuddin or the Wafd Party. Since he was then president of the Ahbar Youth League, he kept his distance from the Wafd and did not support it.”

Hasan Khalil said—

“All right. But whenever agreement is reached among Ahbar, Wafd and the Ikhwan on an issue, they can naturally resolve any problem.” I said—

“Not at all. There is a vast difference between the Ikhwan and them. Those who have not properly studied the Islamic way of life……” At that point, on Shams’s signal, they began whipping me. Abd al-Karim said to Shams—

“Give her a little more time. Let her finish what she is saying.”

“Yes, Zaynab, say what you wanted to say.”

I said—

“The rules and constitution that the Muslim Brotherhood developed, after carefully and farsightedly considering the sources, principles, objectives and methods of its ideology, are founded entirely upon the Qur’an and Sunnah. They are determined to carry out every act and every moment of life according to the Qur’an and Sunnah. To the Ikhwan, only that country or land is beloved where Islam is established, and for the sake of Islam they accept martyrdom. The Ikhwan wants all people to be free and this earth of humanity to be free as well. That is possible only through establishing Allah’s religion.”

The Ikhwan seeks to bring both people and the land closer to Allah. True freedom, peace and prosperity lie therein. When the Islamic way of life is implemented in this manner, no exploitation, oppression or injustice will remain. Then this earthly world will become as beautiful and peaceful as Paradise.

The Beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) established Islam not partially but completely. He did not first establish an independent country and then preach Islam. He did not preach Islam under the pretext of social reform, nor merely under the pretext of democracy or the redistribution of wealth—he did not do the later task before the earlier one, or the earlier task by doing the later one. Rather, naturally, step by step, he established Islam completely. The Beloved Prophet first awakened people through the teaching of tawhid and, declaring rebellion against every falsehood, united them in servitude to the One God. He declared that there is no deity except Allah, and that the Messenger (peace be upon him) is the ruler sent by Allah, the possessor of all authority, and the leader of all people.”

Allah alone is the Creator, Sustainer and Provider, and the keys to benefit and harm are also in His hand. He controls life and death. He is the Lawgiver and Legislator, and He alone is the Guide. In accordance with Allah’s command, the Beloved Prophet established the first Islamic state in Medina and, according to the Qur’anic message revealed at the time, established an Islamic social order based on truth, justice and equal rights for the benefit of individuals, society, the state—in short, the people of the world.

Shams Badran said—

“So, is all this supposed to be your account of Sirajuddin’s affair?”

I said—

“The story of Sirajuddin is a tale fabricated by you. Those who composed this story composed a false tale for money.…… The only thing I can say about Siraj is that he is a patriotic national leader. I think that nowadays he has retired, having abandoned every kind of activity.”

Shams said—

“Safwat, bring the dogs.”

Immediately, dogs and men pounced upon me. Dog bites and blows from the hunter in the men’s hands made my entire body bleed. A doctor had been standing somewhere nearby. He rushed forward and rescued me from the dogs and the executioner. At that very moment, the call to the dawn prayer was drifting from the minaret of a distant mosque. On hearing the call, despite so much grief and pain, I felt an extraordinary and unusual tranquility. I remembered Allah’s command to the fire to protect Abraham from Nimrod’s fire—

“O fire, be coolness and peace upon Abraham.” I supplicated, saying, “O Sustainer, I too am a follower of Your beloved Muhammad (peace be upon him) and the Prophet Abraham. Grant me courage and strength to confront the satanic conspiracy. There is no god but You. I do not worship those whom the unbelieving, misguided people worship. I seek Your pleasure, O God! Amen.” I do not remember when I lost consciousness. When I regained consciousness, I was in the hospital. It is difficult to give an exact account of how many times I went to and left the hospital, and regained consciousness after becoming unconscious and insensible.

The Rule of Desire and the Dominion of Base PeopleThe Rule of Desire and the Dominion of Base People

When power of government falls into the hands of shortsighted extremists, and administration comes under the control of incompetent people, the vilest form of despotism emerges. Such despotic rule makes people’s lives unbearable, and the wheel of the country’s progress begins to turn backward. The despotic group considers itself the absolute owner of wealth and power and does whatever it wishes. Thus the greater interests of the country and nation are diminished before their personal interests. As a result of their arbitrariness, corruption spreads widely, and they try to use the entire country and nation according to their wishes.

To consolidate the foundations of an authoritarian dictatorship, they either render the country’s conscious and patriotic people inactive by tempting them with greed and desire or intimidating them with fear, or send them behind the bars of iron prisons. Then they make laws according to their whims and bind the innocent people in the octopus of harsh rule.

Having assumed power, the rulers try to bring an end to moral and ethical values, begin to toy with people’s dignity and honor, and make futile attempts to silence the voice of knowledge and conscience. At that time, Egypt’s authoritarian ruling group also adopted these most despicable methods and established a reign of terror in the country. As a result, the country’s overall condition rapidly deteriorated. Since the independence of the courts was curtailed, every path to justice was closed. Humanity was dishonored amid the disturbances caused by the government’s sycophants, and it seemed that Allah had also withdrawn the shade of His mercy and grace from the country.

Anyway, when I was taken back to that terrifying office, Shams and his assistants asked: What was the message delivered on behalf of Abdul Ghaffar Fuad Sirajuddin? Who were the people who helped Fuad Sirajuddin in Adviser Amer’s office? And what demands had been made to the Ikhwan for the uprising?

I replied:

: Hussein Abdul Ghaffar is my brother in faith. I know nothing about the false and baseless accusations I hear from you concerning him.

Sayad and Hasan Khalil wanted to know:

: Listen, Zaynab, didn’t Husseini meet Abdul Fattah Ismail at your house? And didn’t you discuss joining the Muslim Brotherhood with Husseini?

I replied:

: I discussed returning to the movement with Husseini, and that is no crime. Husseini has faith in our movement. Although Husseini has not joined the Brotherhood, he wishes it success and supports the Brotherhood’s view regarding the need to shape the people according to the Quran and Sunnah. Husseini and Abdul Fattah Ismail discussed at my house the present alarming condition of Islam and Muslims, the poverty, illiteracy and other problems of Muslims; afterward, Husseini left that day.

: Then, on another day, the two of them came to my house unexpectedly and spoke with each other. Later Abdul Fattah told me about Husseini:

: Husseini is an extremely courteous, virtuous, wise and simple-hearted scholar. He has close connections with spiritualist Sufis.

When I had said this much, one of them said:

: Husseini has told us the whole story…… You want to sacrifice yourself needlessly in exchange for the lives of the Ikhwan! Now I see that you want to sacrifice yourself for Husseini and Fuad Sirajuddin…… But we are giving you one last chance. Tell us clearly everything about yourself, especially those people from the Wafd Party who work in Adviser Amer’s office, as well as your opinion of Husseini and Fuad Sirajuddin. …… We will gouge out both your eyes and make you blind, and then Husseini and Fuad Sirajuddin will also be brought before you.

I said:

: Endless thanks to Allah that we are able to see with the sight of the heart, and no one has the power to take away that inner sight. Therefore, even if both our eyes were torn out, we would not become blind. Hearing my forthright words, Shams Badran screamed as though he had been bitten by a snake. He roared:

: Safwat, bring the dogs.

One of his sycophants stopped him and said: No, Pasha. This girl is indifferent to her own life. She is still uncertain about her death. I replied:

: Is death in Allah’s hands or in your hands?…… Allah alone controls life and death. He does everything, and He is the Almighty. One of the officers seated around Shams Badran said:

: Pasha! Order Husseini to be brought here. Then everyone shouted together for Safwat to bring Husseini. But Shams arrogantly disregarded them and said:

: Take this girl to the hospital for now. They say owls cannot see or do anything until night. Their nature is much like that of owls; the darkness of night is more attractive to them than the light of day. Needless to say, I was taken to Shams’s office again in the darkness of night and seated in one place. A few moments later Husseini was brought in. One of Husseini’s arms was broken and bandaged. The broken arm still hung across her chest. Signs of injury were clear on her legs as well. Her entire body showed signs of torture. Many wounds were still raw. As soon as Husseini entered the room and saw me, she greeted me with salam, and I returned her greeting. Seeing our exchange of greetings, Shams asked in a tone of feigned humor:

: Well, Husseini sahib! What was your relationship with Zaynab?

Husseini replied:

: Everything is written on the paper.

Shams handed the papers to Husseini and told her to read them aloud:

I was not concerned with what they had made Husseini write on the paper. Rather, I was thinking about what I could say to help Husseini escape this danger. I have no doubt that they had made her write whatever they wanted by subjecting her to inhuman suffering.

Husseini began reading the paper given by Shams Badran. It contained things that I could not imagine Husseini writing or even thinking. In fact, what she read had no connection whatsoever with reality. It was entirely false and fabricated. When Husseini finished reading, Shams asked me in a knowing manner:

: What is your opinion of what you heard?

I said:

: It was because of your coercion, oppression and inhuman torture of the Ikhwan that she was forced to write these baseless statements according to your dictation.

Shams asked:

: Is what you heard not true?

I said: Husseini is not a person who would lie. However, I firmly believe that she was forced to write these things through merciless torture.

Shams shouted angrily:

: What Husseini wrote……… You did not tell her these things?

Hasan Khalil said:

: We want to know from you whether what Husseini recounted actually happened. Another man said:

: Will you destroy yourself to save Husseini, just as you did to save the other Ikhwan?

I said, No; I am not destroying myself. I am merely taking the side of truth.

Shams asked Husseini:

: Husseini, did you deliver Fuad Sirajuddin’s letter to Zaynab? I also asked Husseini:

Husseini, didn’t you deliver Fuad Pasha Sirajuddin’s letter to me?

Husseini asked in return:

Fuad Sirajuddin al-Saghir, or Mali Pasha?

I said:

: I know only Fuad Pasha Sirajuddin. Fuad Sagheer, Husseini?

Husseini said, Fuad Pasha’s cousin.

Then I asked Husseini, So what was that matter, Husseini?

She said:

: As I said earlier, it was a very ordinary matter. …… Ali Sulaiman told it to me……… and I mentioned it to Zaynab. Shams now became furious and said, Husseini, get out. Then I said to Shams:

: So you have turned this small matter into a conspiracy? It is regrettable that even a personality like Fuad Pasha was not spared your oppression.

Shams called Safwat. Then whiplash after whiplash fell upon me like the rain of Shravan. When the whipping ended, Shams told Hamza: Hamza, take her to the hospital.

Oppression Even in the Hospital

On the second day, Hamza arrived at the hospital ward with a military officer. Hamza told Abdul Mabud to bring a chair and a small table. When the chair and table arrived, Hamza told Abdul Mabud:

: Here is the paper. Sit beside me and keep writing down everything this girl says. Safwat entered the room carrying a thick file. Hamza took a written paper from the file and told me, You will record everything written here as your statement. It mentioned the names of Huzaybi, Sayyid Qutb, Abdul Fattah, Hawwash, Abdul Majid and others.

I told him:

: I will write only what I know. I have nothing to do with anything else. … I do not acknowledge these as statements of the Ikhwan, nor do I believe that these things were written or said on behalf of the Ikhwan, although you claim they were.

Hamza said, Write whatever you want. We will send you to Shams’s office. You will enjoy suffering various kinds of punishment there. Those words will please Allah and He will help us. I told Abdul Mabud to write all that down. The next morning I was taken to Shams Badran’s office and seated there. Shams took several papers, tore them up and threw them into the wastebasket, then cursed me in extremely filthy and obscene language and said:

: You girl! Do you want to deny all reality? Do you also want to say that everything the Ikhwan said is wrong? Yet what the Ikhwan said is documented and logical, and worthy of belief. You yourself have previously said many things about the Ikhwan’s truthfulness…… You must accept what the Ikhwan say.

I said:

I remain firm upon what I believe to be true. I will say only what I consider necessary to say according to my beliefs. Of course, I have no opportunity to verify the truth of the Ikhwan’s words and answers. …… I have heard everything you forced them to say and write under the lash. There is no freedom or right here to speak the truth. Hearing me, Shams said angrily:

: Hamza, take her away. I want her corpse. …… I will sign the burial papers myself.

Then they locked me in a room. An hour later they brought me out, whipping me as they did so, and ordered me to stand facing the wall beside an air-conditioning unit. I stood like that for six hours. I felt as though I were standing on red-hot iron rods. How much more can I say about the pain, anguish, sorrow and suffering……

When I was taken to Shams’s office again at midnight, he said:

: Zaynab, come with us. President Nasser will pardon you. …… Most of the Ikhwan have confessed their crimes. If you accept what we say, you will meet the President tomorrow morning and then go straight home. In addition, the headquarters of the Islamic Women’s Association will be restored, the organization’s confiscated funds will be returned, and you will initially be given fifty thousand guineas to build on the organization’s land in New Egypt. Another ten thousand guineas will be given for republication of your newspaper. Another man waiting in the office asked:

: Does the Islamic Women’s Association own land in New Egypt?

I said: Yes, it does…… six thousand square meters.

Later I learned that this man’s name was Salih Nasr.

He asked in astonishment what the organization would do with such a large plot of land. I said: We have undertaken a plan to establish a training institute for Muslim women, an auditorium for women, a guesthouse, a central office, a mosque, a Quran memorization school, a Quran school, a primary school, a secondary school, and a lecture-training institute and academy.

He asked:

: Where will you get so much money?

I said, Through public donations. …… Besides, the work will be undertaken in stages. He now said enthusiastically:

Then this is a golden opportunity; President Nasser has created this opportunity for you. You can be released and go home. Your organization will be reestablished, and many more aims will be achieved with the President’s support.

I said:

: We place our trust only in the help of Almighty Allah. Faith in and love for Allah are far more valuable to us than life and property, money and power. Yet you toy with people’s rights and dignity. We want nothing from you. I have not the slightest desire to meet Abdun Nasser. I am not at all prepared to meet the man whose hands are stained with the blood of martyrs such as Ismail Fawhi, Bafayat Bakr and Abdul Qader Awda. No doubt, the blood of those martyrs will continue to guide his monotheists toward the true path until the coming days. Future generations will be proud of the sacrifices of these great martyrs of the past and will remain ever active in fulfilling their duties…… No sooner had I finished speaking than hard boot kicks and heavy punches began falling on my back. In the end, unable to endure it, I fell to the ground half-conscious! Then Shams Badran ordered:

: Hamza, put her in Cell Number Thirty-Four. Cell Number Thirty-Four was truly a cell—one might call it a grave. It was narrow and dark, exactly like a grave. Terrifying. Two dogs had also been released into it. As soon as I entered the cell, I performed tayammum and began praying. As soon as one prayer ended, I began another. There is no better means or alternative than prayer for forgetting the oppression of tyrants and finding peace of heart. I prayed to Allah for help in protecting me from the tyrants’ torture. … Despite unbearable pain in my feet, back and every bone in my body, I found peace in performing the prayer. After an hour, the door was opened, the two dogs were taken out of the cell, and I was taken to the hospital. But after the Isha prayer that night, I was brought before Shams again. As soon as I entered the office, he said: Zaynab, one day a gathering was held at your house. Fifty Ikhwan from various regions of Egypt attended it.

Why was this gathering, held three years ago, organized?

I said:

: We performed the Maghrib, Isha and Tarawih prayers in congregation.

: I am asking what the purpose of the gathering was.

I said, I do not remember.

: Did they have refreshments at your place?

: Yes, some of them had refreshments.

: Why was the gathering held?

I said:

: To counter the way the forces of falsehood had thrown themselves wholeheartedly into spreading atheistic ideas in our country and society, we studied and exchanged views about Islamic ideals.

He asked, But why at your house?

: Because, by Allah’s grace, I am also a Muslim.

He wanted to know, What is falsehood? What is Islam? And what is atheism?

I explained to him:

: On your way, you must have seen obscene newspapers and magazines, as well as books and periodicals promoting communism, being sold and distributed at nominal prices in every shop and even on the sidewalks. And……

Without allowing me to say more, he said:

: Enough, enough, what nonsense. Now tell me the names of the people who gathered there. I said, I do not remember everyone’s name.

He asked:

: One man got up from the gathering, met Huzaybi, then contacted Huzaybi’s house by telephone and left. Who was that man?

I said:

: I do not remember. As far as I recall, that man asked my permission to meet Sahib Huzaybi. So what of it? he asked again:

: Why did you gather together? …… And yes, I will make your answer easier. …… Wasn’t that person who went to Huzaybi Abdul Fattah Sharif? …… If you do not answer correctly, you will be hanged. …… You agreed to change the government and kill Nasser. I said:

: We agreed to oppose ignorance, atheism, obscenity and communism, to spread Quranic education, and to prepare Muslims to live according to the Quran and Sunnah. He contorted his face and said:

: Then what is the function of Al-Azhar? Tell me, what is the responsibility of Al-Azhar University? Then he called Safwat and said:

: Safwat, hang her upside down and whip her.

The whipping began, and I endured the sharp, fierce blows until I lost consciousness, repeating “Allah, Allah.”

Chapter Five

Torture in Nasser’s Presence

When I regained consciousness, I saw many people surrounding me. I was lying on the floor, ice-cold. After they gave me medicine, I somehow looked toward those present and saw President Nasser standing to one side with his hand on Abdul Hakim Amer’s shoulder; he held black goggles in his hand. Seeing President Nasser and Abdul Hakim, I forgot my pain and felt a new flow of awareness in body and mind. I prepared myself inwardly to face the situation. I was given a cup of juice, which I drank. Then several people lifted me from the floor and seated me on a chair. They also gave me a flask filled with coffee, but I had little interest in it.

Judging from the surroundings, I naturally assumed that something important was about to happen. At the very beginning, Shams Badran said:

: Look, Zaynab; I want clear answers to each of my questions. Otherwise…… Zaynab, suppose the Muslim Brotherhood were governing the country and we appeared before you as defendants in a case. How would you treat us?

I said with complete strength and courage:

: We are not among those who wrong themselves. We are unwilling to use our hands for any evil, as the oppressors have kept their hands busy with evil deeds. We do not want to stain our hands with blood. Nor do we desire to sit in the oppressors’ seats.

He said threateningly—

: Stop. I am asking you: if you were the owner of this chair in my place, how would you treat me?

I said in a calm voice—

: We are people who seek the truth, and we are searching for and following the path of truth. Our aim is not to obtain governmental power; rather, we are bearers of the banner of ‘There is no deity but Allah’ and are wholly devoted to preserving the honor of this kalimah and banner. Indeed, Allah has purchased the lives and wealth of the believers in exchange for Paradise. Shams Badran said through clenched teeth—

: Be quiet, girl! I am asking again: if power came into your hands, how would you treat us?

I said in a quiet, composed voice—

: We do not crave power. Nor do we desire high office. Rather, until a single drop of blood remains in our bodies, we shall remain active in our duty of conveying the teachings and message of the sublime Islamic ideal to every person.

…… We are committed to worshipping Allah and to implementing Allah’s religion in His world. We are firmly resolved upon the great mission of creating an Islamic awakening and spreading the light of Islam everywhere. Shams said, trembling with rage—

: Quiet… quiet…… Stop! I want an answer to one question. Suppose you were sitting in the chair where I am sitting, and I were standing before you as an accused person; how would you treat me then?

I said in the same natural voice—

: Establishing Islamic rule may sometimes take ages. We do not want to take any hasty step. …… On the day an Islamic ruler is established, Muslim women will, from their natural position, undertake the greater responsibility of nation-building.

Shams shouted like a traveler who had lost his way in the desert—

: You girl…… suppose you came and sat in my place—how would you treat me? I said—

: Islam is the ideal of justice, fairness, mercy, generosity, and universal equality. There is no room here for whips and lashings, prison torture, exile, live burial, coercion, oppression, or such vile punishments as increasing the number of orphans and widows. The Islamic judicial system is founded upon truth and reason. There is no place here for injustice, coercion, or oppression. Truth-based reasoning and evidence are the essence of the Islamic judicial system. This time Shams said like a wrestler thrown to the ground—

: Stop, stop! Safwat, hang her up and whip her. Safwat hung me up and began lashing my entire bandage-wrapped body. Blood was running down, and I was losing consciousness. The doctor advised that I be released and said—

: This is a terrible condition! He will die from this.

Shams shouted—

: Foolishness; deception…… Another officer said—

: We want to keep her alive so that we can bring her before the court.

Shams said—

: Yes, yes, we too want her to appear in court alive so that the nation may learn a lesson from her.

The doctor said—

: Several medicines are urgently needed; we do not have them here.

Shams said—

: Have them brought from Adviser Amer’s medical store.

After that I was sent to the hospital. I do not remember the other events of that night. However, in the course of the questions and answers with Shams Badran, in the presence of President Nasser and Abdul Hakim, I said everything I needed to say.

The Real Conspiracy: Rumor

They needed to keep me alive for a few more days to achieve their objective, so I was being treated. I stood accused before people whose profession and passion were to fabricate false cases, declare the innocent guilty and the guilty innocent, and install them on the seat of heroism. To serve their own interests, they could adopt any method. They were especially accustomed to acting, coercion, greed, deception, and treachery. It was no wonder that I was being given medicines to make me capable of appearing in court.

After remaining unconscious for three days, I regained consciousness on the afternoon of the fourth day and heard Murad and Safwat’s voices from the cell of Brother Ahmad next door. They were asking him for Saiful Islam al-Banna’s address. He was forced to give them the address. About three hours later, they returned to Brother Ahmad Kamal and asked for the address of Saiful Islam al-Banna’s office. Saiful Islam al-Banna was the son of the martyred Imam Hasan al-Banna. …… I prayed to Allah for the safety of every member of their family, because his mother suffered from heart disease and Saiful Islam alone looked after the entire family. I prayed that all the conspiracies of these oppressors against the members of this distinguished family would fail.

Later, when I was taken by stretcher to Shams Badran’s office, I could no longer disbelieve, after hearing one of his questions, that they had also arrested Saiful Islam and imprisoned him in this very military prison. I became terribly worried.

At that point Shams called Hamza and said—

: I told you not to bring this girl to my office alive. … Look, she is still breathing.

Then he looked at me and said—

: You are still alive? But why? ……

I said to him—

: Life and death are not subject to your or my will. Rather, Allah decides life and death. He roared—Enough, enough, be quiet. I only want the answer to my question. …… Tell me, which members of the military wanted to kill Nasser on the road to Alexandria? Hasan Khalil said to Shams—

: Pasha, permit me to explain the matter to her. When Shams nodded permission, Hasan said—

: Someone came and told you that a group of soldiers had been lying in wait in the desert to kill Nasser on the way to Alexandria by car. Who told you about this incident, and who were sitting in the jeep intending to kill Nasser?

Shams Badran said—Now answer quickly.

I said—

: Over such trivial and insignificant matters, and on mere suspicion, you are inflicting mountains of suffering upon people. May Allah destroy you! …… May you perish, and may the curse of the entire nation be upon you……

The answer to these words was the same: a terrible beating with hunting whips. I was beaten so brutally that the bandages split open and blood began to flow.

My bones were shattered.

Shams said—

: If we hang you, you will certainly die… Of course, if you tell us the whole story, we will pardon you. …… Tell us everything from the beginning. Tell us what Saif told you.

I expressed surprise and said—Oh, that rumor Saif described?

Shams rushed at me, kicked me, and said through clenched teeth—Yes, that rumor.

I said—

: When I was at the house of the martyred Hasan al-Banna, Saif came and said that people were talking about a rumor…… namely, that several military men had hidden themselves with a jeep to kill Nasser on his way to Alexandria by car. But at the last moment Nasser’s route was changed, and Nasser traveled by train. The amusing thing was that the jeep escaped and those men could not be identified.

I said to Saif—

: In fact, it is a rumor; I do not think any jeep was lying in wait in this way. Rather, it is a story fabricated by the intelligence department. They spread rumors of conspiracies to assassinate Nasser almost every day in this manner. And I have constantly heard reports of thousands of military and civilian people being arrested on the basis of fabricated rumors.

Saif said—

Yes, yes, it is nothing but a rumor, and the public has accepted it as a rumor. I said—

: No one is thinking of killing him. Killing a tyrant and oppressor does not solve the problem. The real problem is more serious than killing Nasser. It is freeing the country from the clutches of ignorant, godless, and oppressive rulers.

Saif said that people’s attention should be directed toward purification of character and personal training. I said—

: In any case, who has destroyed this country apart from rumors? The public today has come to regard even rumors as something to rely upon. …… For many brave men and responsible persons have been killed on the basis of such rumors. Then my discussion with Saiful Islam ended. Shams Badran said—

: Abdul Fattah and Ali Usmabi discussed this incident at your house and reviewed the plan of your conspiracy, along with its flaws and shortcomings, but why?

I replied—

: That did not happen. I only told Brother Abdul Fattah what I had heard from Saiful Islam—that this rumor……

No sooner had I said this than a barrage of kicks and punches began. Shams asked—

: Why did you tell Huzaibi about this incident? Why do you discuss what people are saying or not saying?

I said—

: That is true, but why should anyone be concerned about this?

Enough—another blow from the hunting whip.

Shams now said—

Never mind; this time we will leave Saif’s matter and discuss something else……

: Tell me, until Sayyid Qutb was released from prison, Abdul Aziz Ali had been handling the organizational responsibilities of the Ikhwan…… Tell me, how did this happen?

I said—That is not correct.

He asked—

: Why is it not correct? Abdul Aziz used to meet with Ali Usmabi, Abdul Fattah, Zia, Yahya, Sajli, and Majid, and after Sayyid Qutb’s release he met with him several times.

I replied—

: I know nothing about these meetings.

Shams said—

: Who else would know if not you? You were certainly aware of these meetings.

I said—This is a false accusation.

Shams said threateningly—

: I will show you some fun right now… You cannot see what is good or bad for you, nor are you using your own intelligence and judgment. …

One of his flatterers among those present said—

: When one person is hot-tempered, the other must remain calm……

Pasha, please be patient for a minute. I am trying.

Then he looked at me and said—

: Zaynab, both Huzaibi and Abdul Aziz have confessed everything. There is now no way to deny it. Ismail was supposed to use the poison prepared by Abdul Aziz to kill Nasser. What was the poisoning incident, and how was agreement reached on this matter?

I said loudly—

: You are all obsessed with killing Nasser. If you truly want to finish him, then finish him and set us free. Arrange for me to meet Abdul Aziz and Imam Huzaibi.

They said—No, first we will have you meet Ali Usmabi.

I said—Ali Usmabi is the biggest liar of all. He is your hired man; I will not speak with him.

Shams Badran asked—Is Ali Usmabi not one of you?

Ignoring his question, I said—

: Arrange for me to meet the honorable Abdul Aziz and Mr. Imam Huzaibi. Hasan Khalil said—

: Very well, we will have you meet them.

Shams Badran said—

: When did you consult Hasan Huzaibi, in Abdul Aziz’s presence, about Abdul Aziz’s leading the Ikhwan?

I said—Nothing of the sort happened.

Shams sent Safwat to bring Ali Usmabi.

Ali Usmabi arrived very smartly dressed. His fine silk clothes, neatly combed hair, and their cordial treatment of him all testified to his treachery toward us.

Shams said to him in an affectionate tone—

: Ali, when Zaynab’s leg was broken, you were sent to Huzaibi’s daughter to learn his opinion on the matter while she did not get out of the car. Why was that done?

Ali Usmabi said—

: Yes, I went to Mr. Huzaibi’s daughter and told her to ask her father’s opinion about his confidence in Abdul Aziz. …… She brought back Mr. Huzaibi’s opinion and support for Abdul Aziz’s selection as acting leader.

Shams asked me—

: Now what do you say, Zaynab?

Addressing Ali Usmabi, I said—

: You are an outrageous liar…… In fact, you told me that an Ikhwani wanted to propose marriage to Abdul Aziz’s granddaughter and wished to obtain Mr. Huzaibi’s opinion on the matter. By chance I was going out by car, and you got into my car as well. I told you that…… with my injured leg I was unable to go as far as Mr. Huzaibi’s house…… When Mr. Huzaibi heard the marriage proposal, he said there was nothing to inquire about regarding Abdul Aziz’s family…… they were a truly Muslim family…… Allah would bless this marriage.

Shams asked—Is what Ali says true?

Ali Usmabi said, Pasha—These are her technical terms. Zaynab is very skilled at using this kind of technical language.

Hearing him, I addressed him directly—

: Ali, you are a first-rate liar and traitor. One day you will certainly be disgraced for the evil deeds you have committed. …… The Ikhwan are being hanged; they are subjected to incessant lashings with hunting whips, dogs are set upon them, and countless other forms of brutal oppression are being inflicted upon them. Yet you are playing the role of their hired agent. That is why they believe what you say.

Shams ordered Ali to leave and said—

: Zaynab, we are giving you one last chance. Tell me in detail about Abdul Aziz’s relationship with the organization. Tell me everything about the letters exchanged between Huzaibi and Abdul Aziz through you.

Avoiding these matters, I said—

: I earnestly request that you arrange for me to meet Mr. Abdul Aziz and Mr. Huzaibi.

Shams Badran called Safwat and said—

: Take her away from here until Abdul Aziz and Huzaibi are brought.

Safwat made me stand before a wall for a while, then took me back to Shams’s office. But neither Abdul Aziz nor Huzaibi was there. I asked……

: Where are Mr. Abdul Aziz and Mr. Huzaibi?

Shams snapped—Are we to act according to your wishes? We will call whoever we think is needed, whenever we think it is needed. …… I see that we will have to give you the same punishment again.

Looking at his accursed face, I said—

: When you do not fear Allah Himself, how much shame can you possibly feel before people?

Hasan Khalil came and said—Look, girl, accept my help. Pasha intends to hand you over to the court.

I asked—The court? What court? Who are you?

Shams said—

: We will prepare you to be presented before the court.

I said sarcastically—

: So this is preparation for presentation before a court! Whips, hunting lashes, dogs, cells of fire and water, hanging upside down like a slaughtered animal and beating me, abusing me with obscene and filthy language, keeping me tormented by hunger and thirst, denying me the opportunity to urinate or defecate for long periods, harassing me by taking me from office to office day and night in the name of investigation, inflicting bestial torture, and imposing mechanically severe punishments—is this how I am supposedly being prepared for presentation before an Egyptian court?

Muhammad Qutb

In Shams’s office, Hasan Khalil said that before beginning the court proceedings, they wanted to finish discussing matters concerning Muhammad Qutb’s organization in order to consider Dr. Masud’s case.

Shams suddenly pretended, in a theatrical manner, as though he had found something lost or remembered an important matter he had forgotten, and said, “Oh, that Qutb organization…?”

I said—

: I have already said that Muhammad Qutb did not establish any organization. He is a literary thinker. His task is to guide people toward the true, straightforward and simple path. He has devoted his literary talent to making the nation alert and aware of the problems of Muslims, their solutions, and the stage they are passing through, and so forth. …… It is a fundamental right of every individual to express his thoughts and opinions.

Shams Badran said impatiently—

Hamza, take her away. I think she wants to return to the water, fire, dogs and whips again.

Hamza took me some distance from Shams’s office, confined me in a room, and left. Half an hour later Hasan Khalil came and said—

: Listen, Zaynab! I have come to give you good advice. I am worried by the way you are leading yourself toward destruction. …… All the Ikhwan have found a way to save themselves. … We arrested one hundred thousand people. But now only twenty thousand remain in our custody. In the meantime, everyone has confessed to his own crimes. Those who ask for pardon are being released. Even people like the General Guide Hasan Hudaybi, Abd al-Fattah Ismail and Sayyid Qutb have confessed their guilt and asked for forgiveness. Yet you are trying to save the General Guide, although he has made many accusations against you. You are driving yourself toward destruction for the sake of people who oppose you. You should change your opinion. For they have held you responsible for everything that happened. Hudaybi, Sayyid Qutb, Abd al-Fattah, Muhammad Qutb and all the other Ikhwan are condemning you. …… Despite the abuse and mistreatment by Pasha, Hamza, Safwat and the others, we have found your opinion praiseworthy. When the Ikhwan insulted you, we regarded them as contemptible, and our respect for you increased more and more…… Look, Pasha is considering imposing severe punishment on you again. But I have undertaken the responsibility of reaching an understanding with you…… Therefore, I want to take an opinion from you to Pasha that may save you from this danger. He then said with an inquiring look—

: Did you have lunch with Hudaybi twice a week, or at least once a week? Hudaybi has also admitted this; and that you conveyed his instructions and advice to Abd al-Fattah Ismail. I hope you will provide us with samples of those recommendations. Both Abd al-Fattah and Hudaybi have admitted that, since Sayyid Qutb was released from prison, you served as the means of communication between him and Hudaybi. Look, Zaynab, we are not speaking without evidence.

He had a written paper in his hand. He spoke while reading from it. Then he said further—

: For example, the organization’s money was kept in your custody, and you sent it to Hudaybi. That money came back to you, but you then delivered it to Hudaybi’s house. Later the money came back to you again; Hudaybi has also mentioned this. Is there any way to deny these things? All the secrets have been exposed, Zaynab! Now all that remains is your written acknowledgment. Surely you will write down all these things and other matters. Then we will take you to court. They will investigate everything there. Two days later you will be released and appointed Minister of Social Welfare. …… Hekmat Abu Zayd is no longer favored…… What do you think? As he said this and rang the bell, a soldier appeared. He told him to bring lemon juice and began discussing other matters with me. …… When the soldier brought two glasses of lemon juice, he asked me to drink it. Then he ordered the soldier to bring two cups of coffee and continued speaking. I listened to him silently from beginning to end. I understood that he had become quite reassured. When leaving, he told the soldier, “You will remain under Zaynab’s supervision.” Looking at me, he said—

You will be summoned to Pasha’s office in an hour. Until then, think very carefully about what is good and bad for you. I sat down to write, and my pen began to race.

In the name of Allah, the Most Compassionate, the Most Merciful

My tongue is truly incapable of offering Allah the proper praise and thanks for His boundless mercy. Despite my many shortcomings, He has chosen me to serve His deen; He has granted me the strength and opportunity to walk the path He selected for His beloved servants.

Indeed, the path and way of the Qur’an and Sunnah are the path of true truth, peace and beauty. Allah has also called all humanity to this path, saying, “O mankind, there has come to you from your Lord that which is the best path and the finest admonition for you.” Allah has also said, “O mankind, worship your Lord, Who created you and those who came before you.”

I give thanks to that mighty Allah who granted me the good fortune to be shaped according to His decree: “O our Lord, we heard a caller calling to faith. He said, ‘O people of the world, believe in your Lord.’ We responded to his call and believed.” I praise and proclaim the greatness of that Most Merciful Allah, beneath whose words I have found shelter: “Indeed, Allah has purchased from the believers their lives and wealth in exchange for Paradise.” I offer endless thanks to that Allah who included me among the believing men and women and chose me to be with them.

“Thanks be to that Merciful Allah who inspired me to propagate His deen and its ideals, call people to the path of deen, sacrifice my life while striving in the path of deen, and bear witness to the truth of Allah’s word.” Allah has said, “The believers have purchased Paradise in exchange for their lives and wealth. They strive in Allah’s path, fight and attain martyrdom.” Allah has also said, “You are the best nation in the world. You were created so that you would establish truth and justice and stand against falsehood and vanity.”

“I clearly declare in an unequivocal voice that Allah is One and Unique. There is no deity but Allah, He has no partner, and Muhammad (peace be upon him) is Allah’s servant and Messenger.” We are the bearers and custodians of both aspects and the meaning of this declaration of the shahadah. We are entrusted with preserving and implementing Allah’s Qur’an, His commands and His laws.” As Allah has said, “We have sent down the Qur’an to you so that justice may be established in human society.” We follow the guidance that the beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) gave to his ummah. The beloved Prophet said, “Establish truth and justice in human society in accordance with the light Allah has given you.” We are firmly resolved to obey Allah and His Messenger’s commands to the letter.

O Allah! Bear witness that we remain steadfast and unwavering on Your path. Nothing has changed among us. Therefore, O God, help us in the jihad waged against those tyrants and oppressors who commit shirk, cast Your Qur’an aside, show hostility toward Your deen, and fight against those who travel the path of Your deen, carry the banner of Your Qur’an and follow the principles of Your Messenger.

O Trustworthy Messenger! This is how I will live, and in this manner I will appear before you. O Allah, include me among the true Muslims who affirm tawhid and among those who fear You and are ashamed before You.

O God, give me strength. May I love only for Your sake, hate only because of You, and strive in the path of Your pleasure. O people! This is our way of life. After that, do as you wish. …… is thinking. But I have undertaken the responsibility of reaching an understanding with you… Therefore, I want to take an opinion from you to Pasha that may save you from this danger. With complete insight and sincerity, I call you to Allah’s path. Therefore, do not make a futile attempt to make me a partner in your weakness, cause me to stumble in the darkness of disbelief and misguidance, or involve me in war against Islam and the Muslims. I am wholly free of all your misdeeds, and I will remain ready until the last moment of my life to confront your falsehood and vanity.

Signature—

Zaynab al-Ghazali

As soon as Hamza entered the room, he said—

: Well, Zaynab! If Allah wills, our master will cooperate with you. The only condition is that you look after your own interests. …… Your husband Salem is a very good man. …… He is a close friend of mine. …… Who knows how you became prey to the Ikhwan!…… Oh yes, have you finished writing?

Taking the papers in his hand, he said, “Come, go with me to Pasha’s office.” We proceeded toward Shams’s office. Seeing me, Shams Badran expressed artificial delight and said, “Come in, Zaynab. Sit down.”

He ordered sharbat and coffee for me and concentrated on reading my written paper. The changes in his expression revealed his thoughts and feelings. From the situation I realized that he was about to explode. Indeed, his eyes took on the color of a fiery furnace, and grinding his teeth, he screamed and asked—

A-l-l t-h-i-s……? …… Safwat, one thousand lashes. This girl has mocked and ridiculed every one of us. Where were you all?

By then, the venomous downpour of the hunter had begun. Shams threw the papers to the floor and said—

: This girl stands as a challenge to the intelligence and understanding of every one of us. I see she is an exceptionally skilled writer and eloquent speaker. Both my injured legs were bandaged; every part of my body had endured lashes and hunter blows beyond the limits of endurance, yet they hung me upside down again like a slaughtered animal. Frenzied with rage, Shams, on Pasha’s orders, inflicted countless unbearable blows with the whip upon my frail, battered body.

When the doctor saw blood streaming from my entire body, even through the bandages, he ordered that I be brought down immediately. I was left outside Shams’s office for an hour. Then I was taken to the hospital on a stretcher.

Murad and Hamza said—

: According to the doctors, you are standing at death’s door. But in our view, you should be brought before the court. That way, you can die by hearing the death sentence yourself. Tomorrow morning we will hand you over to the Ministry of Law and Justice. Remember well: if you do not answer according to the orders prescribed by the Ministry of Law and Justice, you will have to come back here. Then Hamza called Safwat and said—

: Take her to the courthouse at nine tomorrow morning.

Saying this, they all left.

Investigation

I had passed through every stage of torture. I had been beaten with a fire-spitting hunter, bitten after dogs were set upon me, submerged in a tank of water, burned in a tank of fire, and hung upside down like a slaughtered animal. Such continuous oppression and torture had battered both my body and mind. After all this force and persecution, the government’s legal department was now staging a farce in the name of justice, plotting to impose still more unjust punishment on helpless, innocent victims like me.

I was sent to the court’s investigation department camp. They too were working according to the same plan as the others. At the investigation camp, the investigators used threats and intimidation to force the accused to sign documents containing baseless confessions of guilt.

And these documents containing false accusations were being prepared under the very noses of the so-called legal advisers and judges.

The fearless and impartial judgments of Muslim judges concerning truth and justice had established a tradition and reputation that brightened the pages of history. Today, their successors are bowing before false power and disgracing the courts and the judicial system. This is a grave misfortune for the nation. If this continues, the very existence of the Muslim nation may be endangered. Yet the integrity and love of justice shown by Muslim qadis and judges have always won the unreserved praise of all humanity.

I heard several of these people from the legal department openly lying in the military prison. In a most disgraceful manner, they fabricated statements and forced innocent people to sign them. I saw with my own eyes how they terrified the prisoners through threats and intimidation and extracted their signatures.

When I appeared at the prison investigation office for the second time, the attorney looked at me silently. My entire body was bandaged; I was so weak that I repeatedly fainted, and I did not even have the ability to pronounce the words of my speech properly.

The attorney was seated behind a pile of files. A written paper lay before him. Beside him, the attorney’s secretary sat at a small table. A pile of blank papers lay before him. He held a pen and was ready to carry out the attorney’s instructions. The attorney first wrote down my name, age, nationality and home address.

Then the attorney looked at me with an indifferent, lifeless gaze and said—

: Zaynab, these files contain the statements of all the Ikhwan. Your statement is the clearest among them. I will keep your statement in the file. …… I want to hear the real matter from your own mouth. …… Pointing toward the files, he said—

: These are filled with the statements of Hudaybi, Sayyid Qutb and Abd al-Fattah Ismail. …… Zaynab, I want you to abandon your stubbornness and come to the right path. Do not waste our time on pointless nonsense. Otherwise, you will be sent back to the military prison.

He continued questioning me, and I continued answering. But I was stunned to notice that where I finished my answer in only a few sentences, they needed an entire page to write it down. This made me extremely angry. I drew the attorney’s attention to it and said—

: Mr. Konabi! I gave my answer in only a few sentences……! But……

The attorney said, “I will help you. For your words will be presented to the President exactly as spoken. He wants to know your statement every day.” I said—

: I do not authorize any alteration, expansion or reduction of my statement. In other words, only what I have said is to be written in my name.

The attorney said, “You will be read everything later.”

I said calmly—

: If you continue writing my words from your own standpoint, then there is no need for me to speak. You can have your clerk write whatever you wish. If a case is conducted on the basis of these statements, I will acknowledge only my own words.

The attorney asked again—

: Do you want to call President Nasser, his government and present-day society kafir?

I said—

: I do not regard those who follow the Qibla and the Kaaba as kafir.

The attorney wanted to know who the followers of the Qibla and Kaaba were.

I said—

: Those who believe in the Kalimah Tayyibah, la ilaha illallah Muhammadur Rasulullah, and who follow Allah’s law sent through the Messenger in every aspect of life. The attorney asked like an examiner—

Analyze the qualities of the followers of the Qibla and Kaaba.

I analyzed them and said—

: Those who perform prayer, pay zakat, fast in Ramadan, perform Hajj if able, follow the commands and prohibitions of the Qur’an and Sunnah, do not make laws on their own, and do not govern according to any law other than the law prescribed by Allah.

The attorney asked—

Do you regard Nasser, his government and present-day society as followers of the Qibla and Kaaba?

I said clearly—

: I do not regard Nasser as such. For if he wished, he could govern according to the Qur’an and Sunnah, but despite that, he has suspended the laws of the Qur’an and Sunnah. He imposes laws on the people on his own authority…… Nasser has openly declared that he will not establish Islamic rule.

: The attorney asked, “Tell me clearly that Abd al-Nasser and his government are both kafir.”

I said—

: My answer has been given. Those who wish to examine their true condition must test themselves against the touchstone of Allah’s Qur’an.

That was all, yet to write this one statement the attorney filled five pages of foolscap paper.

After finishing the writing, he asked, “Did you want to kill Umm Kulthum and Abd al-Halim Hafiz?”

I said—

: There is no room for such trivial thoughts in the minds of the leaders of the Muslim nation or the members of the Islamic movement. On the day the Muslims rise again, all wrongdoing will naturally disappear, and the nation will stand with its head held high in true dignity. Today the Muslims have been misled in various ways and kept occupied with satanic activities; one day all of this will vanish like bubbles.

Attorney Muhammad al-Konabi heard one thing from me and wrote another. Sitting before me, he distorted and altered my words. Some statements he even copied from other files!

In this way, the Ministry of Law and Justice’s strange investigative drama continued for ten days. Adviser Abd al-Salam came every day, asked Mr. Konabi about the situation, ordered him to continue his efforts, and left.

One day in the camp tent, I said to Attorney Mr. Konabi—

: Today I am witnessing something astonishing. …… I can see that the people connected with the legal department and the courts have assumed the form of wild beasts; they are throwing the garments of justice from their bodies and the crown of law from their heads.

The attorney said—

: We are trying to save you from the grip of the Ikhwan. In light of the statements of Hudaybi, Sayyid Qutb and Abd al-Fattah, the death penalty has become inevitable for you. What is your opinion of the statements of Hudaybi, Sayyid Qutb and Abd al-Fattah?

Looking directly into his eyes, I said—

: You are speaking falsely about them. They are all leaders of the Islamic movement. They would never speak falsely against anyone.

The attorney reacted and said, “You are the one speaking falsely.”

Astonished, I asked—

: Against whom am I speaking falsely?

The attorney replied—

: Against the government and our judicial department.

I then challenged the attorney and asked—

: Can you provide proof that you are connected with the court? The attorney then said—

: I am stopping the investigation and sending you back to the military prison for punishment. You will have to come here again later.

Then he began drinking coffee. After finishing his coffee, he said—

: Zaynab, do you want to return to that prison of punishment again? Abdun Nasir wants to see your papers soon.

After that, when the attorney instructed me to sign whatever he had written, I refused to do so. …… Needless to say, I was sent back to the military prison office, where the whips and lashes gave me a warm welcome. Thus, for the time being, the judicial investigation came to an end here.

Court Again

Two days later, I was summoned to the courthouse again. This time I saw many wounded young men there, covered with injuries. Attorney Kunabi asked me—

: Have you ever met these people? When did you become acquainted with them, and what are their names?

I looked at the young men and asked—

: When did I see you? Have you ever actually met me? Had you ever seen me before? What are your names?

The attorney shouted an objection and said—

: I will question them myself.

I replied—

: Then ask them when they met me.

Do not ask me when I met them?

The attorney then questioned all of them one after another. When each of them said that they had not met me, the attorney asked them—

: But why did each of you say during the investigation that you had met Zaynab?

They replied—

: It was the blows from the lash that forced us to lie.

After that, all of us were sent to the military prison. These brave young men were forced to pass before me countless times as they went back and forth between the courthouse and the military prison.

The Torture Again

Interrogations with Shams Badran in his prison office and the abuse inflicted on me continued. Almost every night, Shams or some of his companions would take me to the office, first threatening me with severe punishment, then bring me before familiar teenage, young, female, and male prisoners and ask—

: When did you meet these people?

I replied—

: Ask them when they met me and whether they even know me.

In response, they inflicted ever-new punishments: for example, making me stand in a dark place, or forcing me to run while striking me from behind with a lash. Because I was wounded and weak, when I stumbled and fell to the ground while running, they would beat me fifteen or twenty times with all their strength and order me to run again. Finally, when I lost consciousness, they would leave me in a hospital room. The torturous punishments imposed on me after the legal and judicial investigation were more terrifying and agonizing than the earlier punishments. I will briefly shed light on them. This alone will enable you to imagine how cruelly and inhumanely Nasir and his pet flatterers could torture people.

Punishment

At midnight, I was taken through the darkness to another office near Shams Badran’s office. A man named Jalaluddin was sitting there. As soon as he saw me, he asked—

: What was your relationship with Khaleda Hujaibi and her husband Ahmad Sabet, and what roles did the two of them play in the organization? Tell me.

I said, “Khaleda Hujaibi’s work with me was limited to helping the families of detained people.”

Jalal asked what kind of help.

I said, “Financial and material assistance—for example, food and essential supplies.”

Then, when he asked me about Khaleda Hujaibi’s husband, Ahmad Sabet, I explained that he delivered to Khaleda Hujaibi the supplies provided by the women’s organization’s office for various families. It was true that he came to collect these supplies, but he remained in the car. He did not go into the office. He had no other responsibility.

Jalal refused to accept the truth of what I said and handed me over to Safwat. Safwat made me stand facing the wall and began asking the same questions again. I repeated my previous answers. This questioning and answering continued for an hour; but when he saw that my account had not changed, he began threatening me with the lash and the dogs. I nevertheless remained firm in my statement. Meanwhile, Hamza and Jalal arrived. Jalal ordered that the dogs be set on me. Then they confined me with a dog for two hours and afterward sent me to the hospital.

The same questions about Hujaibi and her husband were asked on the second night, and I continued giving my former answers. Seeing me repeat the same view again and again, Jalal called Safwat. Safwat began beating me with all his strength.

Meaning

I was summoned again to Shams Badran’s office. Shams Badran said to me—

: We have brought Zeini from Gaza. The Supreme Guide and Mamun Hujaibi know him. If you deny knowing him, we will send you back for another investigation from beginning to end. Zeini? A confession…… is very important.

I was taken to a room and shown such a grotesque-looking person that there was no question of knowing or recognizing him. So I was brought back to Shams.0

Shams asked, “Who is this person?”

I replied, “I did not recognize him.”

Shams said—

: Everyone knows that this is Sadeq Zeini. In the middle of the conversation, Jalal interrupted Shams and told him to ask about the money. When Shams asked me about it, I said—

This money had been collected to pay for food, clothing, medical care, and the education of the children of families whose breadwinners had been imprisoned. Shams, in an agitated voice, called Hamza and said—

Take her away and lock her up, not with the dogs but in the poisonous-snakes’ cell.

Hamza and Safwat took me to the hospital. As Hamza sat down in a chair, he said, “If you tell the truth about the real purpose of collecting the money, we will not lock you in the snakes’ cell.”

I said, “You have already investigated everything.” At that moment Jalaluddin arrived there and asked them—

: Has she come around properly?

Hamza said, “Leave her to me. It seems she prefers the company of dogs.”

Dogs! Yes, in my view, in judgment and conscience, dogs are far superior to these people. Whenever I sat in the dogs’ cell and thought about these people’s character and mentality, they seemed more detestable to me than dogs. Without a doubt, the dogs’ surroundings were much more tolerable than those of Shams, Hamza, Jalal, Safwat, and the others.

One night I was taken to Shams’s office, and without a word they suddenly began beating me so violently that I lost consciousness within moments. I was injected and sent to the hospital. Three days later I was taken back to Shams’s office.

He swore by Jamal Nasir and said—

: If you do not answer my questions exactly, you will have to undergo punishment all over again, from cell number one through cell number thirty-four.

I had already endured the horrifying torture in those cells. Shams let me begin speaking and said—

: Zaynab, I am reminding you of two incidents. One involves Muhammad Qutb, Mr. Hujaibi’s wife, and Muhammad Qutb’s sisters; the second involves Ali Usmabi and Mamun Hujaibi.

If I say that Hasan Hujaibi, his wife, and Muhammad Qutb have confessed to these things, you will not believe me. But then tell me, how did we learn of them? Granted, you may call the incident involving Ali a lie, but Ali was not involved in the other one.

The day Muhammad Qutb went from Helwan to my house at night, and after your conversation with him you gave him five hundred guineas along with jewelry, telling him to give the five hundred guineas to Mother—that is, Mr. Hujaibi’s wife—and to accept the jewelry as donations for supporting the families of the imprisoned Ikhwan, then hand it over to Mother at the proper time.

I said—

: Yes, that incident is true. But what is there to worry about? I may give my jewelry to whomever I wish. I donated it to a humanitarian cause; that is a matter of happiness. Of course, the money belonged to the Ikhwan. It was my duty to hand it over to the responsible person. Shams asked—

: Were the five hundred guineas for the organization or for those families?

I said, “Only for the families’ expenses.”

Shams said—

: According to Ali Usmabi, that money was for the organization.

I said, “Ali Usmabi is a liar.”

Shams said, “Muhammad Qutb said that he did not know for what purpose the five hundred guineas had been given. Of course, you gave it to him along with the jewelry and told him to deliver it to Mr. Hujaibi’s wife.”

I said—

: Bring Muhammad Qutb before me. …… I told him that the five hundred guineas had been given to help the families.

Shams said—

: All right, fine? But where did it come from?

I said—

: One day Ali Usmabi came to me seeking a letter of recommendation for a Saudi brother to meet Murshid or Mamun. I told him that no letter of recommendation or intermediary was needed to meet Brother Mamun. Murshid was in Alexandria. Mamun, however, was here and could be met. Later Ali Usmabi told me that the Saudi brother had met Mamun and given him some money as a donation. Mamun asked him to give that donated money to Zaynab al-Ghazali. Accordingly, the Saudi brother entrusted Ali Usmabi with delivering that donated money to me. He also stated that the money was to be spent helping the families of imprisoned Ikhwan members.

Shams said—

: According to Muhammad Qutb, that money was not for the families.

When Professor Muhammad Qutb was brought before me, I reminded him and said—

: When I handed you the jewelry and money so that you could deliver them to Mother, I told you that this money had been entrusted to me for the families…… Perhaps you have forgotten that.

After I spoke, Mr. Muhammad Qutb said—

: Zaynab, if you are certain that you told me that—

Then Zaynab’s statement is true.

After that, they forced me to stand facing the wall until dawn. Then they sent me to the hospital.

Two days later I was taken to Shams’s office again and, without any preamble, was told—

: Admit that Muhammad Qutb established the organization.

I said—

: I was asked about this before, and I stated that Muhammad Qutb had not established any organization.

Hearing this, Shams ordered Safwat to hang me up and whip me. Then I was taken to another nearby office. An unfamiliar man there said to me—

: Zaynab, you are a complete fool. You do not know how to save your own life. The Ikhwan have made many false allegations against you…… So why will you not help us gather information about Muhammad Qutb? You should know how easily a settlement could be reached with a little cooperation from you.

I asked sarcastically—

: Make a settlement with you? I wholeheartedly despise your conduct, behavior, and deceit. You are all companions of Satan. But you will never be able to stand in our path. We are servants of Allah and mujahids. No matter how much you try, you will not be able to mislead any of our brothers or make them lie through torture. You should know that.

He said harshly—

: We will punish you severely again and have another judicial investigation conducted concerning you.

I said—

: The Ministry of Justice, the judiciary, and all of you are two sides of the same coin. You have strayed far from Allah’s path. Every one of you is spinning in the whirlpool of misguidance; you will become victims of Allah’s wrath.

At that moment Hamza came, placed a written paper in front of me, and left. This man then began talking to me about Muhammad Qutb. A little later he too left the room.

Then Safwat came, beat me mercilessly, and left. After that another man came and tempted me with promises of many rewards in exchange for providing information about a certain organization. But when my position could not be changed in any way, I was put into the dogs’ cell and locked in. This time another man was also there with the dog. Hamza told that man that if the dog did not bite me, he should bite me himself. I was kept locked in the cell for two hours. During that time I remained absorbed solely in remembrance of Allah. Until the door was opened two hours later, the dog and that man sat quietly, like calm, well-behaved children.

Then I was taken to the hospital. The next day I was taken to Riyaz’s office. He asked whether I had met anyone from Karwasah. I told him—

: I know nothing about Karwasah.

Riyaz asked—

: Has no one from there ever met you? Zaynab, do you not remember that Abd al-Hamid is one of Karwasah’s men? Then, with a threat, he said—

: I am sending men from Pasha to discipline you. Immediately afterward, a soldier came, made me stand facing the wall, and began lashing me. After torturing me for a long time, they sent me to the hospital again. All this torture is being inflicted after the judicial investigation.

A few days later I was taken to Riyaz’s office again. Several other women were present there this time. I had never seen any of them before.

I was asked, “Which of these is Sisi’s wife?”

I replied, “I do not know.”

At that moment a soldier arrived with a young man. The young man was asked, “Which of these women is Zaynab al-Ghazali?”

The boy looked around and said, “I do not know.”

Then, when he was asked about Abbas Sisi, he also professed ignorance. After that he was asked—

: Which of the women present here did you meet? When the boy again answered negatively, he was whipped and sent out.

At that moment Sister Hamida Qutb suddenly appeared. Safwat was coming behind her. When Sister Hamida Qutb was asked about Sisi’s wife, she too said, “I do not know her.”

After that, all the women, including Sister Hamida Qutb, were sent outside. But I was kept seated before Riyaz. He asked me—

: They say an Ikhwani has married four times. Do you know anything about him?

I said, “No.”

He roared—

Then am I lying? If you do not say who that person is, you will be beaten.

With disgust, I said, “Do whatever you wish.”

He turned me toward the wall, struck me several times with the lash, and left. Two hours later he returned with Safwat and sent me to the hospital.

A Packet of Minced Meat

Noting my rapidly deteriorating health, the doctors said that my life was at risk unless I was allowed to receive better food from home. Accordingly, on medical advice, permission was granted for food to be brought from home. However, this permission was limited to milk and fruit. One day my sister devised an ingenious way to get meat to me. She filled an empty milk packet with minced meat in such a way that it was difficult to tell from the outside. It was as soft as an actual milk packet. Only I noticed it. Some butter and oranges were sent with it as well. I kept my share and distributed the rest through Abd al-Mabud among the other Ikhwan brothers receiving treatment in the hospital. Professor Abd al-Aziz, the former minister for local administration, was also with us then. We distributed one orange to each person and one packet of butter between every two people.

After the food had been distributed, I called Abd al-Mabud, gave him the milk bag, and told him to distribute it among all the Ikhwan. He went outside, then returned and said—

: Oh, I see that this contains minced meat. It will be very beneficial for you. Keep it for yourself.

But I told him to distribute it. Even after distributing it to everyone, some minced meat remained in the packet. I sent that minced meat, along with some butter, to Professor Abdul Aziz.

Abdul Mabud asked, “You did not keep any for yourself?”

I said—

: “Endless praise be to Allah. He alone provides sustenance to His servants.”

He said, “All praise belongs to Allah. He is the Sustainer, and He is the Provider.”

The ward assistant came and asked me—

: “How did food get inside?”

I said, “With the doctor’s permission.”

The Ikhwan brothers would gather small quantities of good food and set it aside for the relatively sicker brothers. That was why we would be very happy whenever anything came from outside the prison, no matter how little it was! Even while living under cruel tyrants, we paid special attention to one another’s welfare.

Hungry in the Hospital

During my first year in prison, I was deprived of food from home or from outside. Toward the very end, having no other choice, they permitted me to have food brought from home. They did so only so that, in light of their false and baseless accusations, the court might sentence me to death. For this purpose, and out of a desire to keep me alive at least until the death sentence was issued, they allowed good food to be brought from home for me.

A few days before the case began in court, my mother and sister came to visit me in prison. During the conversation, they told me that Safwat, using my name, had extracted a large sum of money from them on the pretext of buying medicines, fruit, clothing, and so on. In addition, pressure was applied to my family and relatives in various ways to serve their interests.

They allowed certain prisoners to bring food from outside from the very beginning, but no such permission was given to the Ikhwan. Rather, their purpose was to cause the Ikhwan suffering or kill them by one means or another. For this reason, they even deprived the Ikhwan of their rightful food in the hospital. In fact, all of this was an outward manifestation of their anti-Islamic and mean-spirited nature.

One day, a young Ikhwan brother was brought to the hospital in a severely injured condition. Sugar was needed for his treatment. The doctor sent someone to find sugar or some similar substance, but none could be found anywhere. When I learned of the matter, I knocked on the ward door. When it was opened, I sent the bottle of honey that had been brought from home for me to the doctor. As a result, the Ikhwan brother was soon treated. The government informers stationed in the hospital noticed this. According to the law, I had supposedly committed a prohibited act.

Because of this, a few days later the water supply was cut off for the prisoners receiving treatment in the hospital. It was a vile example of inhuman conduct. During the height of the hot season, we were deprived of even a drop of water every night. Somehow obtaining a single cup of water during the entire day was as difficult as obtaining milk from a tiger.

I was already extremely ill. My health was declining day by day toward its lowest point. Eventually, water was allocated solely for me. I would divide my water and send some to Brother Abdul Karim in the adjoining room. But getting water to the adjoining room was extremely difficult. There was no way to evade the guards. So, helplessly, I would roll it through a very narrow hole in the wall from my side, while the brother on the other side would place his mouth against the hole and try to quench his thirst. Those few drops of water were like a new life to him, keeping his body and mind alive despite being battered by repeated hunter blows. The government’s hired executioners practiced every kind of vile punishment on these innocent people. They had no acquaintance whatsoever with any feeling such as humanity. Indeed, it would not be wrong to say that their cruelty had gone beyond the limits of animality.

The Tyrant’s Repentance and Return to the True Path

While I was in the hospital, an incident occurred. It revealed to me the hidden good qualities within human beings. I have no doubt that if a person is sincerely taught the truth, then no matter how wicked he may be, sooner or later he will accept that good instruction. With sincere effort alone, if one strives, a nation can again acquire the ability to advance with full strength along the path to its true destination.

There was a military assistant named Salah at the military hospital assigned to supervise us. He was responsible for giving injections to patients and monitoring the prisoners’ movements. One day, on my way to the bathroom, I saw that the curtain serving as the door to Sayyid Qutb’s room had risen quite high and was flying in the wind. I happened to be passing by at that very moment. As soon as he saw it, he created a great commotion. He said—

: “How dare Zaynab al-Ghazali move the curtain and look at Sayyid Qutb sitting inside?” Salah began hurling obscene abuse. He was jumping about and making an enormous spectacle. Just then Safwat arrived, and Salah’s shouting and abuse increased further. By doing all this, he wanted to prove to his superiors how competently and carefully he was carrying out his duties. He began listing, one by one, the evidence that through his administrative power he had completely subdued the wounded and sick prisoners in the hospital.

In reality, Salah was a bestial man, like a wild animal deprived of all virtues such as knowledge, reason, conscience, and religious education. Hearing his filthy speech and commotion, Professor Sayyid Qutb called him over and explained gently—

: “My brother! The curtain was merely blowing in the wind. Why would that be her fault? She has done nothing wrong.” He explained many other things to him in this way. Astonishingly, this vile man, like a wild beast, seemed completely melted by Sayyid Qutb’s words. He silently lowered his eyes in shame and stared at the ground.

A few days later, he came to me, expressed shame over his previous mistake, and said—

: “I want to become a Muslim anew. I want to learn about Islam. Tell me, how can I become a true Muslim?”

Astonished, I asked—

: “Can you endure the scenes of force, oppression, persecution, and mistreatment that you see being inflicted on the Ikhwan?”

He said—

: “If I too can become a genuine Muslim like them, Allah will grant me patience and strength as well.”

In an emotion-filled voice, I recited—

: “There is no god but Allah; Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him).”

Several times, in an extremely slow yet firm voice, he recited the Kalima Tayyiba.

Then I said—

: “All right, continue doing what Allah has commanded you to do. Do not bow your head before any false power besides Allah.”

He said—

: “I want to learn that genuine Islamic teaching which has so elevated your character and strengthened your faith that even before the most brutal persecution, your principles have not changed in the slightest, and you endure every oppression and torture with smiling faces. No ordinary person could endure even one percent of such persecution. Tell me how I can acquire genuine Islamic education.”

I told him—

: “When you go to Sayyid Qutb to give him injections and medicine, ask him this question. He will guide you to the finest Islamic education.”

I sent greetings to Sayyid Qutb through him.

The Verdict Draws Near

Several days later, before the case began in court, the formal charge sheet was delivered to me.

This was an astonishing case. It would be difficult to find a precedent in history for such a disgraceful role played by the judiciary…… It could be called a great tragedy. We already knew that the court’s final verdict lay in a drawer of Shams Badran’s desk, while preparations were under way to stage the farce of a trial. By government order, we were deprived of the right to defend ourselves and of meetings with lawyers. When I wanted to appoint the famous lawyer Mr. Ahmad Khaza as Mondater, the government said that he could not participate in this case. I then said that I did not need any lawyer. I announced my decision to conduct my own case.

Without my knowledge, the public appointed a Christian lawyer to conduct the case on my behalf. Just before the case began, my close relatives were permitted to meet me. My mother and sister came to see me. On seeing my condition and physical weakness, they nearly fainted. I sat with them and offered comfort and encouragement. During our meeting, Safwat and Hamza stood nearby, performing their supervisory duties. Through my mother and sister, I sent a request to everyone that no one appoint a lawyer for me. But they told me that Hussein Abu Zayd had already been appointed as my lawyer for one thousand guineas, and that half the money had been paid in advance before the case began. So I told them to end the matter there. But on the first day of the trial, I saw that Hussein Abu Zayd had come to fight the case on my behalf.

Meanwhile, the day before the case began, I was taken to Shams Badran’s office. Shams called me and said—

: “I hope you will not object to the interpretation of your written statement from the investigation and will acknowledge the truth of everything written in it. If you declare in court that the Ikhwan misled you and that you regret it, the case will be settled very easily, and we will also give you the service and respect you deserve.”

I said—

: “Allah does what He wills. No person is capable of solving his own problems.”

Shams said—

: “My boy! Speak in simple Arabic. I do not understand all that talk of yours. But it seems that your intention is not in our favor, even though we want to serve and honor you.”

I said—

: “The keys to the unknown and invisible mysteries are all in Allah’s hands. In this vast sky and earth, in the waters and on the land, no one but He knows what is happening and what is not happening. He alone knows, hears, and controls everything. He knows even of this leaf that has fallen, and He alone sees and knows the seed germinating in the deep darkness beneath the earth. Indeed, everything from the atom to the heavens is being directed under His control.”

Shams stared blankly as he listened to everything, then called Hamza and said—

: “Take him away, Hamza. He is entirely free to think—or not think—about his own interests.”

Hamza said—

: “Leave him to me, sir. I will talk with him and see what I can do.”

I was taken out of Shams Badran’s office and brought to another room. Hamza began trying to persuade me to play an anti-Ikhwan role in court. He continued repeating all those stale arguments that had already made me bored and disgusted from hearing them so often from their mouths. He said—

: “First, all the money confiscated from you will be returned. And if the Ikhwan are deceived in court, that will be considered a great gift from you to President Nasser.”

He took me to Shams and continued advising me to act according to his orders and wishes. I listened to everything he said indifferently, uttering neither yes nor no. Finally, when he repeatedly said that he would save me from the death penalty—

I looked at him sympathetically and said—

: “You fool! If your bowel movement stopped, you would not have the slightest power to get it moving, yet you have come to save me from execution.”

He took me to my room and left to finalize arrangements for filing the false case in court.

Astonishing! The government and the courts were all in their hands. Why, then, were they so afraid of me? They wanted me not to speak in court, not to deny the statements they had presented, and not to reveal the truth before the nation bound in the tentacles of their misrule!

The case they presented in court bore the marks of a ridiculous yet tragic drama. They were trying to make it appear that those who had wanted to kill Nasser had confessed it of their own accord and that each had spontaneously testified against himself. But in the end, by Allah’s mercy, all their conspiracies and evil designs failed. The court’s verdict reduced their conspiracy to dust. Yet they had completed every arrangement to influence the court. Even people like Colonel Ozumi would come and sit on the court’s dais. But it was proved that victory for the truth was inevitable.

Good News

: “In those circumstances, one day I dreamed that I was standing in a vast field stretching to the horizon. Before me, it seemed, was the court, and it was there that we would be judged. The entire sky seemed to cast a canopy of shade over the earth. A beautiful ray of light stretched from the sky to the ground. I saw the Beloved Prophet, Hazrat Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him), standing before me facing the qiblah, while I stood behind him listening to his words. He said: ‘Listen attentively to the voice of truth!’ I heard a wondrous voice that seemed to float equally from every direction of the heavens and the earth. These were the words that floated toward me: ‘A false court will be established here and will rule in favor of falsehood. But you are believers and guides to the true path…… Be patient, teach one another patience, maintain contact with one another, and fear Allah. You will prosper.’ These words seemed to emerge beautifully, piercing the sky and earth. As I was overwhelmed by a profound realization and indescribable joy in my heart and soul, I do not remember everything. When this extraordinary voice ended, the Beloved Prophet indicated that I should look to the right. I saw a mountain peak reaching the sky. Its fresh and beautiful greenery was extremely captivating; it seemed as though a green carpet had been spread over it.”

The Beloved Prophet said to me—

: “Zaynab, climb to the summit of this mountain. You will find Hasan Hudaybi at the top. Convey these words to him.” Then the Beloved Prophet looked at me deeply. I felt an extraordinary strength throughout my entire being. Although the Beloved Prophet uttered no words, I felt that I had understood everything he meant, as well as its purpose. When the Beloved Prophet raised his hand toward the mountain peak, I felt myself climbing the mountain. During the climb, I met Khaleda and Aliya Hudaybi. I asked them—

: “Are you also my fellow travelers?”

They answered affirmatively. I left them and continued ahead. After going some distance, I met Umayyah, Hamida Qutb, and Najma Isa. I asked them—

: “Are you also coming with me?”

They replied, “Yes.”

I continued onward. At last I reached the summit. There I saw a small, carpet-covered plateau. On one side, a beautiful seat had been arranged, and Mr. Hudaybi was sitting there. When he saw me, he stood and greeted me. He expressed great joy at my arrival. After asking about his well-being, I said—

: “I have come entrusted with conveying several words from the Beloved Prophet to you.”

He said—

: “They have already reached me.”

We sat down, expressing gratitude to Allah. The Beloved Prophet’s words had reached us not through sound but spiritually. A clear image of him had been engraved in our understanding and feelings.

While sitting beside Mr. Hudaybi, I looked down below the mountain and saw two naked women in a moving train. When I drew Mr. Hudaybi’s attention to them, he saw them as well. I was deeply distressed by the sight. Sensing my anguish, Mr. Hudaybi said—

: “Do you object to this?”

I said, “Of course I do.”

He said—

: “Do you think we reached here through the strength of our hands and feet? Rather, Allah has shown us mercy…… Do not worry about those two women.”

I said, “We must continue striving to guide them to the right path.”

He asked, “Can you do that personally?”

I said, “With Allah’s help, I can.”

Mr. Hudaybi then said—

: “We should express our gratitude for Allah’s mercy.” To offer thanks, he raised both hands and made supplication. I joined him. During the supplication, we repeatedly uttered the words “Alhamdulillah.”

At that moment, my eyes suddenly opened. Upon awakening, my entire heart and soul were filled with a wondrous feeling. After that, I no longer felt any fear. I felt an extraordinary peace and strength. This dream also relieved my physical pain and suffering and my mental grief and anxiety.

Allah has said: “Those who emigrated, those who were driven from their homes, those who endured hardship and suffering while following My path, those who strove and were martyred—I will forgive all their sins. I will admit them into gardens beneath which streams flow. An excellent reward will be given as recompense from Allah. Do not follow those who disbelieved in Allah. O believers! Be patient, teach one another patience, maintain contact with one another, and fear Allah. You will prosper.”

The Promised Day

On the day the verdict was to be announced, we were sent to the office to wait for a vehicle to take us to court. Around eight o’clock, the prison grounds filled with police, military officers, and soldiers. Seeing them, it seemed as though they were going to a battlefield to fight a war. When a vehicle arrived, we climbed into it. The officers and soldiers stood surrounding our vehicle. As soon as we reached the court, we were taken to the dock. There were forty-three of us. Their names, in order, were—

1. Sayyid Qutb

2. Muhammad Yusuf Hawwash

3. Mohammad Fattah Ismail

4. Ahmad Abdul Majid Abdus Sami

5. Ahmad, also known as Ibrahim al-Qawmi

6. Majdi Abdul Aziz Mutawalli

7. Abdul Majid Yusuf Abdul Majid al-Sajli

8. Abbas Said al-Sisi

9. Mubarak Abdul Azim Mahmoud Ayad

10. Farouk Ahmad Ali al-Mansabi

11. Fayez Mohammad Ismail Yusuf

12. Mamdouh Darwish Mustafa al-Diyubi

13. Mohammad Ahmad Abdul Rahman

14. Jalaluddin Bikri Disabi

15. Mohammad Abdul Muatta Ibrahim al-Jazzar

16. Mohammad al-Mamun Yahya Zakariya

17. Ahmad Abdul Halim al-Siroji

18. Salah Mohammad Khalifa

19. Sayyid Saduddin al-Sayyid Sharif

20. Mohammad Abdul Muatta Abdul Rahim

21. Imam Abdul Abd al-Fattah Ghais

22. Kamal Abdul Aziz al-Irfi

23. Fuad Hasan Ali Mutawalli

24. Mohammad Ahmad al-Buhairi

25. Muhammadi Hasan Saleh

26. Mustafa Abdul Aziz al-Khuzaibi

27. al-Sayyid Nazili Mohammad Awliya

28. Mursi Mustafa Mursi

29. Mohammad Badi Abdul Majid Mohammad Thani

30. Mohammad Abdul Moneim Shaheen

31. Mahmoud Ahmad Fakhri

32. Mohammad Izzat Ibrahim

33. Salah Mohammad Abdul Haq

34. Helmi Mohammad Sadeq Hathout

35. al-Hisam Yahya Abdul Majid Badawi

36. Abdul Moneim Abdul Raouf Yusuf Arafat

37. Mohammad Abdul Fattah Rizq Sharif

38. Zaynab al-Ghazali al-Jubaili

39. Hamida Qutb Ibrahim

40. Muhyiddin Hilal

41. Isabi Sulayman

42. Mustafa al-Alam

Number 43 was Ali Usmabi. But, falling under the spell of narrow self-interest, he sold his religion and conscience and became a witness for the prosecution. Thus he was disgraced and humiliated.

When we reached the dock, the enemy of justice put on the judge’s robe and came to sit on the bench. He called each of our names one by one and asked whether we had any objection to his adjudicating our case. In reply, he was told—

We have no objection to any particular person; but we certainly object to the law under which we are being tried. The laws under which we are being tried are invalid laws. We have no confidence in them. We believe only in the law given by Allah, and we demand to be judged according to Allah’s law.

However, after the court’s formal questioning, we were informed that the court had decided to announce its verdicts separately in the cases involving Zaynab al-Ghazali and Hamida Qutb. We were then removed from the dock. From a distance, we greeted our relatives who had come to the courtroom with gestures of salaam.

We were locked in a room until the court hearing was adjourned. Then we were sent to prison by car. This was on April 10, 1966. Until May 17 of that year, we remained in the prison’s dark cells, waiting for the farce in the name of a trial to begin.

Chapter Six

The Court

On the morning of May 17, we were made to stand in the dock. The military’s Colonel Ozumi was presiding over the panel of judges. His manner was extremely stern. The other judges sat to his right.

Several journalists had arrived long before the trial began and were observing the proceedings around a table near the attorney. Press photographers began taking our pictures. Among them was a press photographer named Abdul Azim. I recognized him as soon as I saw him because Abdul Azim used to come to take photographs at various events of the Islamic Women’s Organization.

I called to him and said—

Abdul Azim. Preserve these. They may be needed later.

He said—Of course.

Although he seemed to say it fearlessly, it appeared that he trembled with an unknown fear. After replying, his face suddenly turned yellow. Within a few minutes, he seemed to flee for his life. Looking toward the journalists, Judge Colonel Ozumi began the proceedings by calling my name. He said—

Zaynab, what are you doing?

I left the dock to answer the questions and went to the designated place. The questions put to me had no connection whatsoever with the statement I had given during the investigation.

In reply to him, I said— I did not say these things to him. I answered only two questions.

Judge Colonel Ozumi said—

Hasan al-Hudaybi says that the four thousand guineas you gave him were stolen from your husband.

I said—

The four thousand guineas were contributions collected by the Ikhwan for the food, clothing, education, and other needs of the families of the detained persons. After the 1954 case, Jamal Abdul Nasser scattered these families and pushed them toward ruin.

At my words, especially on hearing the last sentence, the masked Judge Ozumi looked as if he had just been bitten by a poisonous scorpion.

He then said—

When your leg was broken, why did you become concerned about this money? Why did Abdul Fattah Ismail come to you in the hospital? To take money from the person to whom you had given the key to the safe in your own house and give it to al-Hudaybi!

I said—

Because it was money belonging to the Islamic Movement, collected to help the families of the imprisoned brothers. You yourselves pushed those families toward ruin. …… Fearing that if I died my heirs might take the money, I returned it to its rightful owner, namely the Islamic Movement.

Judge Ozumi then said—

The money of those organizations, with which you used to purchase weapons. Al-Hudaybi said that he knew nothing about how this money had been obtained. …… You must have stolen your own money.

The attorney interrupted and said—

According to Sayyid Qutb’s statement, he told Hamida to collect taxes on a large scale.

I said—None of this happened.

The attorney asked—Then, does Sayyid Qutb lie? I said—May Allah keep him free from falsehood.

The attorney could bear it no longer. In that packed courtroom, he began hurling vile abuse. I was astonished. Never in my life had I imagined that I would hear such obscene insults in a courtroom. Astonishing! Would these uncivilized people strangle and kill Egypt’s tradition of courtesy and decency in this way?

When Judge Colonel Ozumi announced that my questioning was adjourned, I returned to the dock. Hamida Qutb was then called for questioning. After the questions and answers with her had ended, she too was sent to prison. Then the attorney began reading her statement.

I do not know whether it is proper to call this a court or a tribunal. What kind of court is it where an attorney can abuse respectable people in vile language and spread fabricated accusations? The man speaking in court in the name of the attorney had such darkness in his heart that it darkened his face and cast its dark influence over the courtroom as well.

Hearing his despicable lies made my blood boil with anger. I raised my hand to protest his objectionable words. Ozumi, wearing the judge’s robe, thought I had perhaps raised my hand at the last moment to take their side in order to escape the death sentence. He looked at me like a fool and said—Speak.

I remained silent for a few moments, then looked around the entire courtroom and began to speak—

I begin in the name of Allah, the Most Merciful. We are the leaders of the nation. We are the guardians of the Qur’an and the Shariah. For us, the Messenger is the supreme model of humanity. We shall remain steadfast on Allah’s path and keep raised the banner of tawhid, risalah, justice, and truth. From this the nation will find guidance on its path. …… In the face of the schemes and deceptions of the oppressors and tyrants, Allah alone is our guardian, and His mercy is sufficient for us.

Then I pointed toward the so-called judge and the attorney and said—

Allah alone is sufficient to protect our lives and property from their lies and accusations.

I said this several times. The so-called Judge Ozumi shouted like a hysterical patient—

Stop! Stop! What are you saying? As he uttered these words, everyone present in the courtroom began laughing at his performance. A judge indeed!…… He did not even know how a judge ought to speak. In fact, all of Abdun Nasser’s associates were such ignorant blockheads. These associates misled and harmed him. Since no decent and learned person remained in his company, he appointed these blockheads to perform various duties. Then I sat down and said—

Ignorance is the real problem. It is because of this ignorance that all kinds of evil deeds arise. History will certainly record its testimony to the qualifications and character of today’s judge and attorney. When that day’s session was adjourned, we were taken back to prison. Each of us returned to our own cell. But I had to suffer punishment for speaking in court.

Extreme Barbarity

I had thought that, since the case was proceeding in court, the torture inflicted on me might be suspended. But no—the practice of taking me from office to office in the name of investigation continued as before. This time I was asked to provide information about several people. When I professed ignorance of the matter, they made me stand facing a wall and beat me. On one hand, the case was proceeding in court. On the other, the torture of me continued unabated. History contains no example of such mistreatment of an accused person. Can any court or investigating team commit this kind of injustice? Even the Quraysh of that dark age, at the beginning of the Islamic Movement, did not behave with such vile dishonesty toward the Muslims. They truly did not. History bears witness to it.

Announcement of the Verdict

On the day the verdict was announced, Hamida and I were taken in a separate vehicle, under the strict guard of soldiers, to hear the court’s verdict. The male prisoners were taken in the vehicle ahead of ours. The men’s hearing began first. Until then, we were kept seated in separate rooms. Then we were brought into the courtroom. My name was called first, and it was announced that I was sentenced to “twenty-five years’ rigorous imprisonment, with confiscation of all my movable and immovable assets.” Hearing the court’s verdict, I said—

Allah is the Greatest. All praise belongs to Allah!…… Zaynab must show no weakness on the path of truth, on the path of the Islamic Movement. There is no reason for fear or sorrow. …… Live as a believer; in the end, success will kiss your feet.

After me, the name of my sister Hamida Qutb was announced—

“Ten years’ rigorous imprisonment.”

I rose, embraced Hamida, and said—

Allah is the Greatest. Thanks be to Allah. We are content that our efforts and struggle on the path toward establishing Islamic governance, on the path of seeking Allah’s pleasure, are moving toward success.

We came into the courthouse grounds speaking normally. There we saw vehicles full of Ikhwan brothers. We had been very worried about them. When they saw us, one of them called out loudly—

“……Sister Zaynab……?”

I replied—“Twenty-five years’ rigorous imprisonment on the path of establishing Islamic governance.”

This time he asked—“……Sister Hamida……?”

I said—“Ten years’ rigorous imprisonment in the struggle to establish Allah’s religion in Allah’s world.”

When I asked them about Mr. Sayyid Qutb, Brother Abdul Fattah Ismail, and Yusuf Hawwash, they told me—…… Martyrs in Allah’s path…… I understood that they had been sentenced to death. I raised my hands and prayed to Allah.—

O Lord! Accept their great sacrifice, offered on the path of Your pleasure, and in return grant Your mujahideen strength, courage, and help to establish Islamic governance upon this earth. Insha’Allah, Allah’s religion will be victorious.

Safwat and the other soldiers came and put Hamida and me into a small vehicle. The journalists and press photographers rushed toward us when they saw us. They wanted to take pictures. I found it very objectionable. I called to them and said—

Are you also followers of these unjust oppressors? Are you also pleased with the injustice and wrong being done to us?…… Have you joined hands with the nation’s most despicable enemies?…… If so, what is all this? What am I seeing?

(*****Photo****)

As soon as we reached the prison, a new phase of torture began. However, after the court announced the verdict, Sister Hamida Qutb and I were kept in the same room.

A Few Moments with Sayyid

Five days after the death sentence was announced, Brother Sayyid Qutb came and knocked on the door of our room. When the door was opened, he entered with a military officer. Leaving him inside, the officer went back out. Safwat, of course, remained seated beside Sayyid Qutb. I welcomed the heroic Sayyid and said—

You have sat with us for a few moments—this is equal to a special mercy from Allah upon us, and we consider it one of the greatest blessings of our lives.

In an extremely calm and natural voice, he began a theoretical discussion with us about death and its appointed time, saying—

The authority over life and death rests entirely in Allah’s hands. No one besides Allah can make any decision in this matter.

He told us to remain steadfast on the path of attaining Allah’s pleasure. He said that the purpose of our lives is to worship Allah, and that the supreme fulfillment of our lives lies in sacrificing our lives and possessions for His pleasure. Then he whispered some advice into his sister Hamida Qutb’s ear and gave me some advice in a low voice as well. The traitorous Safwat became unbearable at our conversation, roared, and told Sayyid to leave. At such a critical juncture, even stones might have melted. But the hearts of sinful oppressors are harder than stone. They have no feeling whatsoever of humanity. They were unwilling even to allow the brother who was to be martyred within a few days a few moments to speak with his imprisoned sister.

Hearing Safwat’s rude order, Sayyid Qutb addressed us and said—

There is no need to worry. We must preserve patience in our hearts. Saying this, he greeted us with salaam and left.

The Plot before the Execution

On the night appointed for the execution, hear from Sister Hamida herself the conversation that Nasser’s agents had with her after summoning her. Sister Hamida said—

Hamza summoned me to the office, showed me the government’s official order for the death sentence and its formal confirmation document, and said—

If your brother now gives the answer we asked for, the government is willing to withdraw his death sentence. …… Look, your brother’s execution will be a sorrowful and tragic event for the entire nation. It will be regarded as an irreparable loss for Egypt. …… I cannot bring myself to believe that in just a few hours we will lose this great man forever. …… We are eager to save your brother from this unwarranted death sentence by any means. Of course, for this he need only say a word or two. Then he will be spared execution. …… We know that no one but you can persuade him. You are our last hope in this matter…… I will take responsibility for this entire conversation. But you will be able to influence him more than I can. In short—he need say only one thing. Then every problem will be solved. He need only say that this movement is truly connected with another country. As soon as he says this, we will commute his death sentence and release him, using his deteriorating health as an excuse.

After hearing them, I said—

But every one of you, and your President Nasser, knows that this movement has no connection with any other country or power. Hamza admitted and said—

: Everyone knows that you are working selflessly for Islam in Egypt, and that you are unquestionably the country’s finest, most upright, aware, and educated people; but now the real issue is saving Sayyid Qutb. I then said—

If your High Command is particularly eager for this to be conveyed to him, I have no objection.

Then Hamza called Safwat and said—

: Take this to his brother.

I went to my brother Sayyid Qutb and conveyed the government’s message. After hearing everything, he looked at me gravely and, silently and without a word, seemed to ask—

: Do you want this too? Or is it only their wish?

I indicated to him—

: This is neither my statement nor my wish.

Then Sayyid Qutb looked at me gravely and said in a solemn voice—

By Allah, what I said, I said truthfully. No power in the world could make me speak a lie, in exchange for anything whatsoever.

I said nothing improper.

Safwat asked—

: Is this your opinion? After asking this, he told us to remain there and said—

: Sit a while longer and try to see whether you can understand.

I went on to tell my brother everything that had happened, from beginning to end.

Hamza called me, showed me the government’s official death sentence, and asked me to convey the government’s message from him to you. My brother asked me—

: Would you be happy with that?

I said—No!

He said in a calm, simple voice—

: Gain and loss are not within human control. Life and everything connected with life take place only by Allah’s will. No person can lengthen or shorten my life. For whatever is to be done lies solely in Allah’s hands. He is the One who controls everything.

The Verdict Carried Out

A few days later we heard the news of the martyrdom of Sayyid Qutb, Abd al-Fattah Ismail, and Muhammad Hawwash. The news struck us like a thunderbolt. Each of them had been a national leader. Because of their wisdom, foresight, noble character, generosity, revolutionary thinking, and Islamic qualities, they were objects of sincere love and respect for the entire nation. Even their enemies did not hesitate to acknowledge their powerful moral and personal qualities without reservation. Today, men of such greatness and popular leaders have been hanged at the signal of foreign red imperialism. What a tragic betrayal—to martyr the great revolutionary leader Sayyid Qutb. And his sister sits beside me, with me, behind the iron bars. I could not think of what language or words I could use to console her. I too was overcome with pain and grief; I could find no words except mute silence. What could I say? What could I do? This was not the grief of me or of any particular individual; in this catastrophe and grief, all Egypt and the entire Muslim world were overwhelmed with mourning. This loss was not Egypt’s alone; rather, the entire Muslim world had now been deprived of the leadership of its great leader. This was no small matter. Such a loss could not simply be endured. How could it be that, in Allah’s world—in the lands of the Muslims—the leaders of the Islamic movement would be hanged for treating the mention of Islam as a crime, and there would be no reaction?

Sayyid Qutb—the Qur’an exegete, propagator of Islam, leading figure of Islamic literature, fearless and uncompromising leader of the Islamic movement, revolutionary mujahid in the path of God who gave sight of truth to hundreds of thousands of the blind, whose rational literature was extraordinarily acclaimed in every corner of the world—that eloquent and fiery man had been killed. What does it feel like to contemplate those words? To enable people in this age to understand the Qur’an’s message properly, he wrote his famous tafsir, Fi Zilal al-Qur’an—In the Shade of the Qur’an—from a thoroughly modern and reason-based perspective. In his immortal work he presented clear Islamic solutions to the modern world’s complex economic, social, and administrative problems. In the introduction to Surat al-An‘am he set before humanity the true path to salvation.

Imam Sayyid Qutb was the author of twenty books, including Social Justice in Islam, Islam’s Brilliant Future, Scenes from the Day of Resurrection, and The Qur’an: Humanity’s Way of Life. Each of his books is now regarded as a priceless treasure for today’s deprived humanity.

One need only read his famous work Ma‘alim fi al-Tariq to understand why the great powers and their accomplices had risen up to kill him. Imam Sayyid Qutb showed the oppressed humanity of the world the way to freedom from the ruthless grip of the two great powers. He called upon humanity to escape the octopus-like hold of the so-called superpowers and begin a new life according to its natural way of life, Islam. And the meaning of a worldwide Islamic revival is the downfall of capitalist American imperialism and socialist Soviet imperialism. For this reason, despite all their mutual conflicts, the two great powers set themselves against the Islamic movement with all their might. Sayyid Qutb, making the Muslim nation conscious of its responsibilities and duties, said in the language of the Qur’an—

: You are the best nation brought forth for humanity. Therefore, as the best nation, you cannot neglect your responsibilities and duties. In great hope he said—

: No matter how much falsehood and the forces of unbelief oppose it, this world will once again shine with the undying light of Islam.

The Last Few Days

On the day Imam Sayyid Qutb was sentenced to death, I slept after the dawn prayer and dreamed that he was telling me—

: Know that I am not in the company of those people; I am in Medina with the Beloved Prophet. At that point my sleep broke. I got up and told Hamida about the dream. On the second day after the hanging, after the dawn prayer, I fell asleep again while reciting the tasbih and heard a voice from behind the scenes—

: Sayyid is residing in Jannat al-Firdaws.

When I awoke, I told Hamida about the dream. Hearing it, tears began streaming down her cheeks. In a speechless voice she said—

: I have unwavering faith in Allah’s mercy. He is surely in Jannat al-Firdaws. I said that through the dream, Allah the Exalted was giving us an indication of Sayyid’s good fortune.

Meanwhile, the oppressors continued to lay their hands on us. No human being could bear such severe torture. In addition, in the name of so-called investigations, they continued the daily ordeal of taking us from office to office. I thought that after the court’s verdict was announced, we would be freed from all forms of oppression except the formal punishment. But that hope was entirely futile. Why would they give me any relief? Every day I was taken from office to office to harass me, while I was forced to follow the executioners, leaving my sister Hamida alone in grief. Every day, upon returning from the office, I had to tell her that the oppressors had once again brought in many Muslims under arrest. They questioned me about people I did not know and had never heard of. In reality, they wanted to implicate me in more cases. Even my twenty-five-year hard-labor sentence had apparently not satisfied them. Thus we spent each moment in prison amid unbearable conditions. Every moment seemed as long as a hundred years. The only way to escape this grief, anxiety, and irritation was to recite the Holy Qur’an. When I sat down to read the Qur’an, I forgot all my sorrows, and my heart and soul were refreshed by an otherworldly tranquility. Allah has truly said: “Listen, the remembrance of Allah creates patience and tranquility in the heart.”

After a few days we asked for newspapers. So Hamza arranged for newspapers to be brought for us from the money we had deposited in the prison fund. Once the newspapers arrived, after many days we began receiving news of the outside world. This also helped the time pass more pleasantly.

There was no end to my troubles while sitting in prison. Meanwhile, almost every day news came of some conspiracy or another against Nasser. As soon as any rumor of a conspiracy arose, they began dragging me around. Meaningless interrogations continued one after another. The events took place in the free world outside, while here, the woman prisoner confined in a closed prison cell had to answer for those fabricated conspiracies. In fact, the government itself manufactured and circulated these reports of conspiracies. Every day another conspiracy was supposedly uncovered, and every day another unwelcome thunderbolt fell upon my head.

My Husband’s Death

After the court announced its verdict, I called Hamza Basyouni and asked him to arrange for me to meet my husband. When he still had not come after several days, I reminded him of it again. On this pretext, I was summoned to the office and asked why I wanted to meet my husband. I then told them—

: I have been sentenced to twenty-five years in prison and am a prisoner. I want to discuss our marital relationship with him and release him from the marriage bond. I need to hear his opinion and advice. Hearing me, Hamza said—

: Abd al-Nasser will not hang you; rather, he will destroy you little by little.

I said—

: Allah is my reliance! Abd al-Nasser, you and all the people of the world do not possess even enough power to make a leaf fall from a tree. No one can do anything against Allah’s will.

Hamza said—we will soon bring you your husband’s divorce document.

: You truly are beasts! Saying this, I returned. I did return to my cell, but my heart was in terrible turmoil. The days passed in extreme agitation. One day, after the dawn prayer, I slept and dreamed that news of my husband’s death had been published in the newspaper. I became even more anxious. Raising my hands before Allah, I prayed for him—

: O Master of life and death! I cannot ask You to return him from death. But shower him with Your mercy. That day my sister Hamida also had the same dream. When the Friday newspaper arrived the next day, we truly broke down upon reading in it the news of my husband’s death. Reading of my beloved husband’s death, I lost my composure and began to weep like a child. I cried until I lost consciousness. A doctor was called for me.

Several days later, when members of my family came to visit me, they told me that Abd al-Nasser and his soldiers had forced my husband either to abandon me or to accept imprisonment. My husband was a very simple-hearted and distinguished man. In society he was known and respected by everyone as Haji Sahib.

When Nasser’s men began pressuring him intensely, he asked for two weeks to think about the matter. But they refused to give him any time and forcibly compelled my husband to sign the divorce document. He clearly told them—

: Allah is my witness: I have not divorced my wife, Zaynab al-Ghazali, in any sense.

He further said, “I have grown old. My death is near! Let me die peacefully and with my honor intact. …… Zaynab will remain my wife until the last moment of my life.”

And so it happened. Upon hearing of my prison sentence, my husband became mentally ill. He was already suffering from paralysis, and the losses to his company, my arrest, and the confiscation of our home and property caused him intense anxiety. Immediately after they forcibly obtained his signature, my husband died.

Before our marriage, my husband was my brother in faith. Even apart from our marital relationship, our bond of faith was extraordinarily sweet. My marital relationship with him was also extraordinarily happy. After his death, my relatives completed his burial and shrouding with due honor. For this I am indebted to every one of them.

I had written down the date of the dream in which I saw the Beloved Prophet. When I compared the dates, I found that it was precisely that day when the enemies forced my husband to sign the divorce document. In my dream I saw the Beloved Prophet in a clean, dazzlingly white garment. Behind the Beloved Prophet I also saw Mr. Hasan al-Hudaybi dressed in white, with a white cap. I was standing, and beside me were Mother Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) and several other women. She was giving me some advice. At that moment the Beloved Prophet came there, called Mother Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her), and said—

: Be patient, Aisha! Be patient! At once Mother Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) gently pressed my hand and advised me to be patient.

I awoke and told my sister Hamida about the dream. She prayed before Allah for an increase in my patience and strength. That very day I felt that some great danger might be awaiting me. Therefore, to succeed in the new trial, I raised my hands before Allah and said—

: O Helper of the helpless, grant me patience and strength; shelter me beneath the shade of Your mercy.

A New Neighbor

On a bitterly cold winter night, we heard a great commotion in the room beside ours. When we opened our cell door to find out what was happening, we saw Salah coming toward us. As soon as he arrived, he asked for the anti-vomiting medicine he had been given that morning. We immediately gave him the medicine. The next day we learned that the neighbors in the room beside ours were the Prime Minister of Yemen and twenty of his colleagues. Although the matter was unusual, I was not particularly astonished. As the saying goes, prison is a museum. Anything is possible here.

Abd al-Nasser was loudly and aggressively spreading the false claim that he had conquered Yemen. But the question is: why was Yemen’s prime minister imprisoned in an Egyptian prison? Have any of you ever heard that, after British imperialism conquered Egypt, it took dozens of Egyptians to London and imprisoned them there? Or that, after Napoleon Bonaparte occupied Egypt, he took any Egyptian to a prison in Paris and detained him?

Nasser Must Be Brought to Justice

May I ask why no case was brought against Nasser for his countless serious crimes? Did Egypt not lose its honorable place in its national history precisely because no action was taken here to suppress the tyrants and oppressors?

If the country is not yet saved from the criminal activities of these criminals, the problem will assume an even more complicated form.

During the darkest days of dictatorial rule in Egypt, the Ikhwan al-Muslimun came forward to shoulder the great responsibility of protecting the national interest. The Ikhwan fearlessly protested vehemently against injustice, oppression, and terror, and demanded the establishment of the people’s basic rights. At first Nasser tried to deceive the Ikhwan with false promises. But soon the cat was out of the bag and his mask fell away. Once no one could doubt that Nasser was a pampered agent of Soviet imperialism, the entire nation rose up alongside the Ikhwan to confront the enemy. In 1954 the nation supported the Ikhwan in the struggle for truth. In 1965 the nation once again came forward to fulfill its duty of faith. In 1965 agents of foreign powers advanced a plan to uproot the Islamic movement completely from the soil of Egypt. They tried to silence the Ikhwan forever. For this purpose, millions of people were imprisoned. Countless workers were harassed, and it is difficult to calculate how many people were killed or wounded. But despite all this force and oppression, it was impossible to extinguish the torch of truth. Their happy dream was shattered. The work of Allah’s religion continues today as before and will continue into the unending future.

Those children who were born during Abd al-Nasser’s revolution were the very ones who, in the Islamic mass movement of 1965, made Nasser’s dictatorial rule gasp for breath.

With the help of his foreign masters, Nasser imported atheism and obscene films, newspapers, and magazines into the country, making every effort to corrupt the character of the nation’s younger generation. But the country’s brave young people thwarted these alien conspiracies and kept Islam’s victorious banner flying high.

This was how the success of the measures we had undertaken for the education and training of the younger generation became evident. The young people themselves became the principal driving force of the Islamic movement. Seeing the leading role of the youth in the Islamic movement, Nasser became frenzied with rage.

He would often say to his associates—

: Zaynab al-Ghazali and Abd al-Fattah Ismail have wrested the young generation from my hands.

Nasser’s acknowledgment is a matter of pride for us. We succeeded in protecting the young generation from his shameless, iron grip. We created such a force of young people in the service of Islam that they are capable of keeping Islam’s banner raised in the face of any agitation of the age. In education and courtesy, knowledge and character, and moral qualities, these young people are a living model for the present age.

The contribution of the martyred Abd al-Fattah Ismail to this great success will remain unforgettable! He himself was an organization, and the contribution of great revolutionary young men like Muhammad Hawwash will also remain undying. Today’s Islamic youth movement is the golden fruit of their tireless efforts.

The days in the military prison gradually came to an end. Even in the face of indescribable torture during those long days of disaster, the patience, courage, and heroism of the brave soldiers of the Islamic movement did not diminish in the least.

They crossed this perilous great sea through their unconquerable strength of faith. On June 5, Allah’s wrath descended upon accursed Nasser. And when we were transferred that day from the military prison to a civilian prison, every one of us breathed a sigh of relief.

Thus Allah rescued us from Nasser’s cruel grip. Nasser, the enemy of Islam, has been destroyed, while the mujahids of Islam are striving to build a future of renewed enthusiasm.

Therefore, June 5 will remain marked in Egypt’s history as the day oppression fell. On that day Egypt was freed from Nasser’s existence. On the Day of Resurrection he will have to stand humiliated, wearing the crown of disgrace. The death of Nasser, the Pharaoh of the twentieth century, was a blessing for the Egyptian nation. On June 5 he was driven from the human world wearing the chains of disgrace. For all the barbaric oppression he inflicted during his lifetime upon the innocent and helpless people, especially upon the Islamic movement, he must suffer its recompense after death.

Chapter Seven

Transfer to Qanatir Prison

That day will remain unforgettable. Before then, on June 3 and 4, the doors of our cell were being opened at will, without any warning. They would come and repeatedly ask us, “Do you need anything?”

Afterward, discussions would begin about the war, the Palestinian and Arab problems, and other matters. I, of course, remained silent. One of those taking part in the discussion was a doctor. I once asked him—

: Are we truly capable of liberating Palestine?

Hearing my question, he was taken aback and responded with a question—

: What… what are you trying to say?

I said in a calm voice—

We should learn from the various consequences. No matter what slogans our leaders repeat about friendship or hostility toward Israel, and no matter what they hope for, so long as the worldwide Zionist movement uses the two superpowers for its diplomatic interests, our self-proclaimed great leaders will be able to do nothing but serve the superpowers…… In reality, there is only one way to recover Palestine and the occupied Arab territories: to declare the final jihad through genuine Islamic unity. Only when a truly Islamic system of governance is established in the Arab and Muslim countries can the way be cleared for recovering Palestine and all the other occupied Arab territories.

Dawn broke on June 5. But today no one came to open the door hurriedly. After a while, the door suddenly opened, and we could not understand the significance of what an Abyssinian soldier shouted before leaving. As far as we could make out, the wretched Nasser had won.

After muttering a few unfinished words, he rushed off to the others. Then he returned and announced that they had shot down a considerable number of the enemy’s fighter planes. At the same time, he began recounting, one after another—one, two, three, four—the tales of the bravery and victory of their third great leader.

Unable to make sense of the conversation from beginning to end, we remained silent. After the Asr prayer, Safwat came and began kicking me with his heavy boots without saying a word.

He gasped, saying, “We have won.”

After countless kicks from the heavy boots, I lost consciousness. Hamida repeatedly asked him why he had attacked me without warning. But no answer came from his mouth except a storm of kicks. When I fainted from the blows, he ordered the soldiers who had come with him to throw away all my essential belongings. When I regained consciousness, he beat me again. Then he made us leave our cell and walk, while he moved ahead, cursing us. He kept repeating, “We have won! We have achieved success.” On the afternoon of June 5, Hamida and I were placed in a vehicle with military officers and soldiers, and it crossed the main gate of the military prison. The prison officials sat beside the driver. I began reciting tasbih in Allah’s name. I felt that every living creature and every object in the heavens, the earth, and the entire universe was remembering Allah’s name with me. When I recited tasbih aloud, Hamida told me to stop making a sound. I then focused on the literal meaning and significance of tasbih. This time it felt as though the whole world were speaking to me.

From Safwat’s words during his sudden assault on me in the military prison cell, it seemed that I was being taken away to be hanged. Therefore, I became absorbed in reciting various verses from the Qur’an of Allah: “Indeed, Allah has purchased from the believers their lives and their wealth in exchange for Paradise.”

At that moment, some lines of a poem came to my mind. The poet said—

……… If death comes with faith

There is no question how death came—my death?

Elsewhere the poet said—

“The bird flew away along an unknown path, the world unanswering

I know, however, that its destination is sweet.”

The poet also says—

“If you want to live, more than women

Knowing it impossible, here there is no permission

to demand more or less.”

……Simply accept it: death is the stairway of patience,

This stairway ultimately reaches the door of the heart.”

When the vehicle stopped with a brake, Hamida called me. I opened my eyes and saw Qanati Prison ahead. Designated for women

A Night of Mental Torment

After passing through the main gate of Qanati Prison, we were taken to the prison office. Our belongings were thoroughly searched there. It was nighttime. Then the female warden from the office beside the commissioner’s office searched us again, dressed us in the uniforms prescribed for prisoners, and took us to the assigned room. If it can be called a room, it was an iron cage; apart from a few iron posts, it had nothing that could be called a door. Inside it there was a broken-sided cot and, on the other cot, only one item. Nothing else existed anywhere. Immediately beyond our room began a huge hall. Connected to it were three wards for female prisoners. These women had been arrested on charges of theft, drug dealing, murder, and illegal sexual offenses.

As the darkness of night deepened, the melodious sound of the adhan floated from the minaret of a distant mosque. I performed the Isha prayer after making tayammum. After the prayer, I lay down and tried to sleep. But where was sleep? Who knows into what unknown realm sleep had fled! The darkness of night grew denser and more terrifying, and as the ward door was closed for the night, the horrific reality of moral and spiritual degradation began to reveal itself. People began to cast off the covering of their humanity and approach the utmost limits of shameless filth. That accursed night passed in mental anguish and the torment of a wounded consciousness, as we witnessed the ultimate consequence of people willingly turning into beasts. We remained engaged in the dhikr of Allah for a long time, because tranquility can be attained in the heart only through remembrance of Allah. When the first rays of the dawn of hope appeared, we breathed a sigh of relief and thanked Allah. We supplicated before Allah for generosity of heart and complete freedom.

I will never be able to forget that horrific, hellish night. Yet on that night no executioner struck me with a whip or lash……no one even insulted me. Nevertheless, it was the most terrifying, unbearable, hellish night of my prison life. Seeing the poisonous, grotesque atmosphere of that hellish night, Hamida began to weep and faint. Trying to revive her, I said—

We follow an ideology and a path…… To walk that path, patience and endurance are necessary to face every condition and circumstance. Allah will help us. In the military prison, we were brutally tortured, humiliated, beaten until our bodies were torn and bruised, and subjected to indescribable suffering from hunger and thirst; yet despite all that, what we saw and heard that night seemed far more painful to us than the inhuman oppression and torture of the military prison. That night, before our eyes, a group of people revolving in the mire of ignorance and brutality was engaged in the vilest sin. They were all women. They had freed themselves from every bond of humanity and become slaves to extreme sexual perversion and satanic impulses. Each had made criminality her profession and obsession. They had no connection whatsoever with the words or qualities of humanity, civility, purity, honor, dignity, or modesty. In truth, they had become such degraded creatures that obscenity and sexual sin were the whole meaning of life to them.

They may be compared to creatures whose neck-rope is held by another blind person. Under that blind person’s direction, these blind creatures are wasting their lives on paths of error and danger. They never had the opportunity to see, know, or understand the straight and beautiful path. Thus, blind, they have come face to face with Hell by following their blind impulses. Those people on earth who strive to bind others in the chains of slavery have helped these blind, lost people go further astray. God-defying rulers consider it necessary to enlist such criminals in order to prolong their power for their base interests. In any case, at last that dark night full of sin ended with the adhan for the Fajr prayer. In the heavenly light of dawn, the unwanted darkness of the hellish night disappeared. We bowed in prostration before Allah, the Merciful and Compassionate, and prayed for His pleasure.

Conflict at a New Stage

When Hamida and I went to the prison commissioner’s office, we were informed that, until further orders, we were forbidden to go to the canteen or meet anyone. The commissioner said—

The two of you do not even have the rights granted to prisoners. Until further orders, you must remain in this condition.

I said to him—

We did not come to you for that; rather, we came to request that— Before I could finish, the commissioner asked—

Did you want to see me?

I said—

Yes. We want to change our room.

Hamida said, “We want a room that at least has a door. Not an animal pen……”

The commissioner said, “What kind of talk is that? Very well, we will send you back to the military prison. You can suffer again what you suffered there.”

I said, “We cannot stay in a place unfit even for animals.” He said, “I am the commissioner; this is a prison, and you are prisoners. Beyond that, I know nothing.”

Then he stood up and shouted—

Who is there? Come and take them out.

I said again—

We will lie in the prison courtyard, but under no circumstances will we go into that room. We will see what happens afterward.

The commissioner said, “A prison is a prison. If you refuse to obey orders, you will be shot dead.”

I said, “That would be much easier……… Besides, to be killed at your hands means martyrdom……”

The commissioner took us out of the office and left us in the prison ward. A little later, the commissioner summoned the female warden and ordered her to search us.

We were taken upstairs for the search. It was a spacious ward with twenty cots. About an hour later, the female warden came and said—

Come, how much is your income? We were unable to understand what she meant by the question. So we were placed in a line with the women classified as “filthy.” These were women who had no understanding whatsoever of character or honor. They had come to prison for their base immorality.

Going beside the room, the warden shouted—

Today’s intake totals forty-five: twenty-five for indecency, fifteen for sexual and morality-related offenses, three for theft, and two political prisoners.

The political prisoners were Hamida and me. When the warden finished shouting, I left the line and moved away. Hamida followed me. Seeing this, the warden said—

Hey, where are you going……? Wait.

I said, “We will stand separately, because we have no connection with these disreputable people.” She said, “Why are you acting so disgusted?”

I said, “We have no connection with them. So we will stand separately.” She asked, “Are they inferior to you?”

I remained silent without answering. The warden locked all those wayward, immoral women in a room, then came to us and said—

Sisters! The lady doctor has asked you to sit down. When she is free, you will go to her.

When the female doctor was free, she called us, asked our names, ages, and about our ailments, and took us into a room. Shortly after the door was closed, piercing screams and sounds of weeping began to be heard. The entire atmosphere seemed to take on a sorrowful aspect. Curious, we pressed our ears outside and realized that a serious accident had occurred. I became absorbed in self-examination—

How many crises and accidents keep occurring, alas! My unfortunate nation! Are calamity, disaster, and lamentation truly your destiny? Who is there that belongs to you?

The nation’s broken boat is repeatedly submerged in a flood of one grave calamity and accident after another. At times a moral calamity, at times an ideological calamity, at times the calamity of economic and social anarchy. Finally came the shame and mournful event of the humiliating defeat on June 5. The catastrophic disaster of June 5 has made national life even more confused and degraded. Our ruling class loves imitation like monkeys and is selfish and shameless like pigs. Coming into contact with the accursed people of the country, they become devils incarnate; after suffering a miserable defeat at the hands of the enemy, they begin imposing even harsher oppression on the nation. Even the accursed Jews feel compassion when they see their cruelty, shamelessness, and baseness. I was thinking—

What kind of life are we living? Before our eyes, all the virtues—Islam, brotherhood, a sense of dignity, civility, and good manners—are being destroyed. Muslims are being killed indiscriminately. They are being deprived even of ordinary human rights. They are not being allowed to obtain even the slightest right. These people are plotting to destroy both Islam and the Muslims. They want to seize the Muslims’ manpower, social standing, possessions, land, and capital—in short, everything—and erase their existence. Yet the true followers of Islam are vigilant guardians of humanity. For the welfare of humanity, they wage jihad against falsehood and bring oppression and exploitation to an end. They sacrifice everything in the struggle to establish the rights of the suffering dispossessed, and through their moral and ethical qualities they make human society pure, bright, and beautiful. The fragrance of their character makes the social environment fragrant. Muslims follow Allah’s path; for Allah’s pleasure alone, they struggle against falsehood and in support of truth. They bow their heads before Allah’s command. Without caring about fear, hardship, or affliction, they advance with unconquerable courage along the path to humanity’s liberation.

Some people were whispering beside me. My fellow travelers on the path of truth! Do not speak in hushed voices, do not speak slowly with your heads bowed; rather, speak clearly and move forward—ever forward—with all your strength and courage. No hesitation, no inertia, no doubt or fear. Move toward the goal with irresistible, fearless, uninterrupted momentum.

If you abandon the path of Allah’s pleasure, fear and humiliation will become chains around your feet. I swear by Allah, if we remain steadfast on the path Allah has prescribed, Allah will surely help us. We must embrace Islam with all our hearts, souls, and consciences. We can reap its golden harvest only by fully implementing Islam, eternally undying, timelessly beautiful, and genuine. We must abandon skepticism; it is obligatory—an essential duty—to avoid division, disagreement, and disputation, and to move forward with our first and foremost goal before us. If we continue in this way, by Allah’s mercy and grace we will reap the tangible fruits of our dreams and efforts in this world. We will defeat the temporary, deceptive powers and achieve success; we will establish an ideal welfare state in the light of Allah’s Word and the Sunnah of the Messenger. We will regain our lost glory and dignity. Indeed, our honor, glory, good fortune, strength, and prosperity lie in obedience to Allah. By following Islam, we will be fortunate not only in this worldly life but also in the eternal life after death, as people of Jannatul Firdaus. The great Umar, the second caliph of Islam (may Allah be pleased with him), said—

The true success of Muslims is attained by confronting the enemies of Allah. Through this path we receive Allah’s help. Otherwise, we could never have been victorious over them, because in numbers, equipment, weapons, and arms, our preparation is utterly insignificant compared with that of the disbelievers. But if, having lost our Islamic character, we become equal to the disbelievers, they will still be victorious over us.

The reason we Muslims today bear the shame of humiliation and defeat is solely our distance from the path of the Qur’an and Sunnah. If matters continue this way, we will face even greater danger and humiliating circumstances. For humiliation, defeat, weakness, decline, poverty, and want come as the consequences of opposing God. The consequence of rebellion against God is nothing but continuing torment and Hell in this world and the Hereafter.

Allah has said—

“Those who follow My commands shall not be miserable or humiliated; but whoever turns away from My remembrance shall have a constricted life. On the Day of Resurrection I shall raise him blind. He will say, ‘My Lord, why have You raised me blind when I had sight?’ Allah will say, ‘My signs came to you, but you forgot them; so today you are forgotten. Thus do I recompense the transgressors and those who disbelieve in their Lord’s signs.’ The punishment of the Hereafter will be everlasting and extremely severe.”

I was drowning in an unfathomable ocean of thought. Many meanings and implications were swirling through my mind. Sorrowful circumstances and bitter events were casting shadows of unknown apprehension over the innermost depths of my heart, along with grief and sorrow.

I was startled by Hamida’s call. I was sitting in the locked room next door. Its door was opened from time to time. There was no way to know what was or was not around us, or what was or was not happening. One day, by deceiving the female guard, we managed to obtain a packet of cigarettes. For the hard-hearted female guard, that packet of cigarettes was a rare commodity. One packet was enough to soften her. Through this, we began learning about the conditions around us. In the room next to ours was a woman and her child. No one knew anything about the child’s father. In the room in front, a girl was suffering the consequences of her misdeeds as a tuberculosis patient. In the ward opposite hers, female prisoners afflicted with serious diseases were serving their sentences. The lavatory was at the far end of the building. We too were told to go there to relieve ourselves. The purpose of this order was to infect us with some contagious disease.

In the second section of the building, clean, tidy, well-arranged rooms could be seen, and at first we did not know the nationality of the women staying there. The bathing room and lavatory in that section were also quite clean.

One day, a woman from that clean ward served us good food. Since we were extremely hungry, we ate it with great satisfaction. In this way, our curiosity about them increased further. Seeing the woman’s civility, it seemed as though a human being had suddenly arrived in this impenetrable jungle of beasts.

I said to the female guard—

Allow us to use the clean bathroom on the other side.

She said—

That is reserved only for women…… doctors and Jews.

I asked in astonishment—

Whom do you mean by Jews?

She said, “Yes, six Jewish women. Madame Mursel, Madame Los, and others.”

They move about freely. They get whatever they want. They had unrestricted freedom of movement everywhere. Their accommodation was excellent. They were given superior, nutritious food. Yet they were all Israeli spies. They had been arrested and detained precisely for espionage. The female guard, however, said—

You should speak to the female doctor about this instead. She may allow you to use her bathroom.

Instead of speaking to the female doctor about it, we discussed the matter with the warden. The warden refused under any circumstances, because that bathroom was reserved exclusively for the Jewish women spies.

Human, Though an Enemy

At last, I left everything to Allah’s will and became absorbed in worshipping Him. Hamida sat beside me, also engaged in worship. At that moment, a tall, fair-complexioned woman came into our room and greeted us with salam. When we returned her greeting, she asked—

Are you Zainab al-Ghazali?

When I answered in the affirmative, she said—

I am a prisoner of Mursel-Raj, and naturally there are ideological differences between us and you. For I am Jewish and you are Muslims; but in this danger and distress, the important thing is that we are all human beings. Therefore, no obstacle to our mutual dealings in prison is desirable. At this time we are all in danger. I came to you while evading the guards’ notice. My purpose is to extend a hand of cooperation in mutual assistance. We welcome her proposal. Then she said—

: We have sufficient food supplies, though they are limited. We will share the food with you. Of course, you will not be given any unlawful, haram food. Needless to say, we Jews too regard pork as unlawful, or haram, just as Muslims do.

From then on, that Jewish woman, Mursel, regularly brought food supplies for us. More importantly, she arranged for us to use the bathroom designated for them.

Hamida, however, seemed somewhat hesitant about these matters. I said to her—

Look, Allah may adopt any means to help His servants. He may bring good through any person. Allah never wrongs His servants, nor does He leave them in permanent deprivation and hardship. Once I had fallen into terrible difficulty in a vast forest, and another time in a desert. At that moment of danger, Allah rescued me through a Christian woman doctor. That Christian woman doctor served me in such a way that I was astonished to see it. Indeed, all this is Allah’s mercy. He makes an enemy perform the work of a friend. It was difficult for us to spend our time in this prison with these degraded, immoral, perverted, foolish people. Here, nothing matters except money. If money is paid, one can remain outside for a long time. Everything one wants can be obtained. Here, prisoners and the warden are all equal. Here, people demand money and love. Is that really such an easy thing?

Death and the Rebel

The tyrannical ruling group, intoxicated by the staff of power, has completely forgotten that one day they too must die. Forgetting the death ordained by Allah, they continue to impose a regime of oppression and terror upon Allah’s servants. Yet the movement of time and the ages lies under Allah’s control. Night followed by day, generation after generation, coming and going, the beginning and end of life, the body’s growth and decay, the accumulation and completion of life—all take place under Allah’s command. H

“When the soul of the dying person reaches his throat, and you are watching him die, why do you not bring that departing soul back? At that time I am nearer to him than you are, but you do not see.” (Qur’an)

Against the backdrop of this agitated, troubled life in which everything is at stake, the reflection of human reality can be seen sinking into the bottomless depths of humiliation and degradation. The people of Qanater Prison expressed outward grief at Nasser’s death. But Allah is witness: his death produced no reaction in our hearts. For we know that death is appointed for everyone. One day it will certainly come. There is no way to escape its grasp. No one can evade death. Surely death is a terrifying and concrete declaration of humility. Death itself calls out to us: Be careful; turn back from oppression and arrogance. There is no good for you in them. None of your power and pride, wealth and riches, arms and forces, children and possessions will come with you. Everything will remain behind, and you will reach Allah’s court just as destitute and naked as when you were born from your mother’s womb.

“If only you could see the wrongdoers when they writhe in the agony of death and the angels stretch out their hands, saying, ‘Give up your souls. Today you will be repaid with humiliating punishment for the false things you used to say against Allah and for your arrogance toward His signs.’”

Allah will say—

“Now you have come before Me alone and solitary, just as I created you alone the first time. I gave you everything I was to give you. You have left all that behind. Now I will not consider those intercessors of yours in whom you believed there was some share of usefulness to you. All your mutual relationships have been severed, and everything of which you were so proud has vanished from you.”

Allah further says—

“We did not wrong them; they wronged themselves. When the command of Allah came, the gods they used to invoke besides Allah were of no use to them. They brought them nothing but destruction and ruin.”

“Such is the seizure of your Lord when He seizes a town that is unjust. Indeed, His seizure is painful and severe. In this there is a sign for those who fear the punishment of the Hereafter. That is a day for which all people will be gathered, and everything that occurs that day will happen before everyone’s eyes. We are not delaying it except for a limited time. In short, a time has been appointed for it. When that day arrives, no one will dare speak, except those permitted by Allah to say something.”

“On that day some will be wretched and some will be blessed. Those who are wretched will enter Hell, where they will writhe in the intensity of heat and thirst, remaining there as long as the heavens and the earth endure—unless your Lord wills otherwise. Surely your Lord is Possessor of complete power; He does whatever He wills. Those who are blessed will enter Paradise and remain there forever, as long as the heavens and the earth endure—unless your Lord wills otherwise. They will receive a reward whose flow will never end.”

Therefore, the death of any particular person, whoever he may be, has no effect on the hearts of the mujahideen in Allah’s path. For death is an absolute truth. Thus they have no anxiety about death. What matters to them is living in obedience to Allah under the shelter of His pleasure, and devoting heart and soul to the struggle to convey the finest message of tawhid. When the call of death comes to them or to others, they leave this world to answer for their deeds. There, each person will be given punishment or reward according to his deeds.

The struggle of Islam is not against any particular person or group. Rather, it is a struggle of truth and justice against falsehood, a struggle of faith against disbelief, and a struggle of those who affirm tawhid against the atheistic, idol-worshipping forces that associate partners with Allah.

The one whose death is inevitable will die, and the one whose destiny contains martyrdom will be made a martyr; the mu’min will surely find a place in Paradise’s broad, beautiful gardens. They will receive Jannatul Firdaus, in the closest nearness to Allah. There will be gently flowing, beautiful springs and gardens stretching to the horizon. As for the martyrs, it has been said that they are eternally alive. They have no death.

“O My servants, today you will have no fear, nor will sorrow touch you. Enter Paradise, you and your wives. You will be made happy and content. Golden trays and drinking vessels will be placed before them, containing enticing and attractive things. You have inherited this Paradise as a result of the righteous deeds you performed in the world. Here you will have abundant fruits to eat.”

Those who are killed or die in support of kufr, falsehood, and atheism will be inhabitants of Hell. And what do you know about Hell? It will destroy you, and you will never be able to escape from it. Your faces and bodies will burn there. Whenever one skin is burned, another will take its place, so that they may suffer. Above and below them there will be nothing but fire, and blazing flames will surround them. If they ask for water, they will be given scalding water whose steam will scorch their faces. It will be filthy, tasteless, polluted water. It will not lessen their intense hunger and thirst even slightly.

“For them is the fire of Hell. They will neither die there nor will its punishment be reduced for them. Thus do We recompense.”

“Every kafir who denies Allah will cry out there: ‘Our Lord, bring us out of here. We will do righteous deeds, different from what we did before.’”

They will be told in reply—

“Did We not grant you enough age for anyone who wished to take a lesson to take one? Now taste it. There is no helper here for the wrongdoers.” Life will continue as Allah wills. Age after age and life after life will come to an end, but no person can alter Allah’s will. Some people were shouting and weeping at Abdu’n-Nasser’s death, turning the situation into one of mourning. His elegies were sung day and night. But everything was done merely for show. Their weeping and expressions of grief contained not the slightest sincerity; everything was an artificial performance intended to achieve their own interests. Only a few years earlier, while sitting in my house, one man had said that those who considered Abdu’n-Nasser a servant of Islam were kafirs. Today I hear that same man singing Nasser’s elegy. Such people sell their consciences in this way. They are the ones who face loss in this world and the Hereafter. While a flood of artificial grief and sorrow over Nasser’s death was sweeping through everything, we welcomed his departure on behalf of Allah. We welcomed it exactly as nominal believers could welcome it.

“And the wrongdoer will soon know what his end will be.”

In Qanater Prison, the news became widely known that we had expressed no grief or sorrow at Nasser’s death and had not mourned even slightly at the death of the so-called great leader. Consequently, his followers became extremely angry with us. To satisfy their greed and base interests, they had sworn always to remain devoted to serving their master. Thus they soon began reacting to express their anger at us. In their view, how could we possibly fail to grieve at Nasser’s death?

The Bubbles Fly Away

Bubbles fly away, but what benefits people remains on the earth. Needless to say, the hypocrites and pet flatterers who displayed artificial grief became active. To please their masters, they began mistreating us even over the smallest matters. On the morning of the second day after Nasser’s death, the female warden opened the door of our room, entered, and suddenly hurled a heavy iron rod at my head with tremendous force. But by Allah’s mercy, I miraculously survived that deadly blow. Otherwise, my head would have split and been crushed. Even for such a major crime, the prison authorities neither punished her nor even held her accountable. That criminal warden walked around on patrol completely at ease, as though she had committed no crime. Just then, when my relatives came to visit me, I informed them of the matter. They met all the responsible officers, senior and junior, and sent a telegram about the incident to the government offices. Eventually, the Ministry of Law and Justice was forced to investigate the accident. The investigation held the warden responsible for the incident and declared that she was mentally ill.

I informed the Ministry of Law and Justice that their investigation was incomplete. The incident was not the result of the warden’s mind; rather, a carefully conceived plan by an anti-Islamic clique had been put into operation. Therefore, there was no point in punishing the poor warden. She was not responsible for her own action; she had done it at the direction of those above her. They wanted to terrorize the servants of Islam. But Allah’s will will prevail.

I could not even imagine such a new, indirect punishment. In these unforeseen circumstances, Nasser’s protégés planned to inflict this kind of indirect blow. Indeed, no one can guide those whom Allah has led astray.

A New Trial

On the morning of 9 August 1971, another new trial presented itself before me. The female warden came running and said to me—

: The commissioner is calling you to his office.

This unusual summons aroused all kinds of anxiety in my mind. What was going to happen? What new scheme had the tyrants devised? Were they now going to accuse us of preaching Islam even while sitting in prison? Or perhaps news had arrived from home. I was thinking many such thoughts. But I had no idea at all what was actually about to happen.

When I reached the commissioner’s office, I was informed of the order for my release. What a strange matter. Even after sentencing me to life imprisonment with hard labor, they were not satisfied! In any case, I would now leave after being released—but would Hamida remain in this suffocating, unbearable environment? My heart trembled with fear. Without realizing it, I cried out—

: No… no, this can never happen. I will never leave my Hamida behind. You are all frauds and conspirators in destructive schemes. I was bursting with anger. My entire being trembled with a strange emotion.

Seeing my condition, the commissioner tried to calm me and said—

: We could not oppose this order in the slightest. You were brought here on the orders of those above us, and you are also being released on their orders. In this matter, we are as helpless as you are.

A few moments later I saw that Hamida had also arrived at the commissioner’s office. The commissioner had sent for her precisely to explain things to me and calm me down. This was an extremely difficult trial for me. I was suffering intense anguish. How could I leave my Hamida alone in this prison? At the thought of leaving such a noble girl alone in this filthy, vile prison environment, a cold current ran through my entire body. Driven by emotion, I again cried out unconsciously—

: No, no, never. I will not leave her alone under any circumstances……

Seeing my condition, Hamida said calmly and gently—

: This is Allah’s favor and mercy upon us, indeed! Everything happens by His command. Allah does not forget His servants. He is our guardian, so be at ease. Much time passed in this conversation. The commissioner requested Hamida—

: Say farewell to her and return to your own room.

That moment was utterly heartbreaking. It is impossible to put the feelings and realization of that time into words. We embraced each other and broke down. In our hearts rose the turbulent waves of a raging ocean; our breathing had the force of a violent storm, and tears streamed from our eyes like a hot underground river.

At that grievous juncture of unprecedented inner turmoil and emotion, I felt myself alone in the commissioner’s room. The commissioner formally signed my release papers, and with a restless heart, a troubled soul, and flowing tears, I took my first step toward the free world.

The Final Maneuver

The speeding car heading toward my home suddenly changed course and stopped at the government investigation office. As soon as I was taken to a room, the door was locked. I remained there from two in the afternoon until nine at night. Then I was taken to an office room, where two officers were sitting. Both of them asked me various questions about the Islamic way of life. They also asked—

: Will you continue to maintain contact with the Ikhwan after this?

I avoided their question and said—

: I have been released from life imprisonment with hard labor, but why has Hamida been kept detained? You are actually trying to create division. But know this: Allah will never allow your evil plan to succeed.

One of them said—

Respected Zaynab, please calm down.

I said—

: You want to trap us in a web of deceit and fraud. Yet Allah is above you. His decision will prevail, although most people do not know this.

He said—

: Look, Zaynab! This is the order of those above us. We can do nothing more.

Then I was taken to Ahmad Rushdi’s office.

: This was the person at whose covert prompting the executioners of the military prison inflicted inhuman torture upon me. Few people are as deceitful and scheming as he is. He believes in the policy of “divide and rule.” When I entered his office, he asked me to sit on the sofa in front of him and congratulated me on my release. The essence of the discussion between him and me was that, according to his demands—

I would stop my Islamic activities.

I would not meet with my Islamic brothers and friends.

I would neither cooperate with them nor maintain any relationship of affection and love with them. I would also report to his office at the appointed times. When this conditional discussion ended, I clearly said—

: I categorically reject everything you have just said to me. Rather, I also reject and refuse the order you have given for my release. Convey this rejection and refusal of mine to your superiors. And I demand that I be sent back to Qanater Prison immediately.

Ahmad Rushdi cut off my words and said with a laugh—

: Many Ikhwanis are reaching an agreement on our terms.

I interrupted him and said—

: By God, I still hold a good opinion of the Ikhwan. I do not wish to say anything about the claims you make concerning certain Ikhwan. Of course, I do not consider what you say about them to be true. Surely the Ikhwanis are truthful and uncompromising on the path of truth. For this truth they remain busy day and night, and until they receive Allah’s help or martyrdom, they will remain steadfast and unwavering in the struggle for truth.

At that moment the telephone rang. As soon as Ahmad Rushdi picked up the receiver and said hello, he expressed delight and said—

: Ahlan wa sahlan. (Welcome, welcome) Professor Abdul Monaem. Come! Come! I have been waiting for you.

Then he put down the receiver and said—

: Abdul Monaem Ghazali is coming.

Soon my younger brother, Professor Abdul Monaem, arrived and greeted me in a tearful voice. Ahmad Rushdi said to my brother, “Mediate between you and your sister Zaynab. There is still disagreement between us.”

My brother said—

: She is my elder and I am her younger brother. I do not have the courage to persuade her. And, if you permit me to say so, she is especially renowned for argumentation and eloquence.

Ahmad Rushdi then said—

: All right, Zaynab! Congratulations. Just keep somewhat distant from the Ikhwan organization, and do not encourage anyone to work with it.

I said to him—

: The entire story about secret organizations is a product of your fertile imaginations from beginning to end. Look, striving to establish an Islamic ruler and government is fard upon every Muslim—that is, a collective responsibility. To prepare for this, people must be called to the path of Allah, just as the Beloved Prophet and his Companions called people. This is the general responsibility of every Muslim. The question of being Ikhwani or non-Ikhwani does not arise here.

Then, when I reached home with my brother, it was three o’clock at night, and the date was August 10, 1971 AD.

— The End —